False factoids


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Scarab Sages

The Fiend Fantastic's left horn is marked "FM," his right horn is marked "AM," and his goatee is the pull-out cigarette lighter gizmo.


The bells in Closet's hat clank instead of ring.

Scarab Sages

Schism only thinks that because all the beautiful, delicate sounds in the world are drowned out by the clanking noise her hair makes as she walks.


IHIYC was originally chosen as the man on the wagon of a famous soda brand. However, after a production of some very scary clown, they resorted to a chubby fatman in red.


The Fiend Fantastic has varnished his goatee and likes to lie on his back, rolling meatballs down it into his open mouth.

Scarab Sages

Pulg's nose is the pull-out plunger, and his ears the flippers, for a pinball machine inside his skull and thorax...the one problem being that you can't see inside it.

Dark Archive

I'm hiding in your closet a pathetic copy of the joker and seeing that Marvel is better than DC that makes I'm hiding in your closet a pathetic copy of an inferior villian

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

The cricket is banned for not realizing both Marvel and DC are pathetic copies of themselves.

Scarab Sages

Who Knows What Evil Lurks In The Heart Of Cr500cricket? Charles Scholz Knows.


Turns out IHIYC is mr Scholz' psychiatrist, since he's implying mr Scholz knows what is in the heart of Cr500cricket.


The Fiend Fantastic rides around on a 500 lb cricket.


Schism is as far as evolution will allow a spring onion to go.

And has a 500lb cricketer's box.

Scarab Sages

Pulg used to be a fanatical evolution denialist; the gods looked upon him, then at each other, and agreed, "let the punishment fit the crime."

Dark Archive

I'm hiding in your closet is a delusional who believes in Polytheism

Scarab Sages

Cr500cricket is just upset because his significant other found God and Cr500cricket found out it wasn't him (ProTip: Turns out it's me).

Dark Archive

I'm hiding in your is too self obsessed to realize I don't have a significant other and nor do I wish for one I'm quite solitary


Cr500cricket was the latest model in a gnome mannequin series.

Dark Archive

fiend has 12 aliases because he can't bear to have people see his real face


Cr500cricket is an halfling in disguise, with delusions of becoming a real gnome one day with prosthetics and genetic tampering.

What he doesn't know is that there's a special place in Hell for his kind of halflings, called Hepmogagog, the Weeping Pit of Grinding Underachievement. The Fiend Fantastic was a manager there once, but was sacked after an unfortunate dalliance with one of his (female) halfling protégés, one Ms. Frobith Mouthside.

Dark Archive

I'm a diabolist. My soul goes to Moloch so I'm not scared. But since your tiny brain is probably leaking out of your over-sized ears you probably don't know that


Cr500Cricket has managed to combine his two most favourite things in the world, namely Dorothy costumes and giant robotic wangers, by starting a tribute act called Judy GWAR-land

Dark Archive

Pulg is Paparazzi
enough said


The cricket is obsessed with "the win", naming everything "the win" would cause him to run around in circles.

Dark Archive

TFF is bland character, Just check his profile


The cricket is really Red Dye #2 come to life.

Dark Archive

Bephlegor is a pathetic kind of demon created from souls of people who never amounted to anything


Cr500cricket has not yet passed the mannerism exams, hence he does not yet eat with cutlery

Dark Archive

TFF doesn't realize I kill with cutlery and don't need to eat


If Wales was rolled out flat, it would contain almost as many two dimensional sheep as Cr500cricket

Scarab Sages

Pulg's great-grandfather was a ship's figurehead. Don't ask how - it's the stuff of fairy tales, but the adventuring bard who gathered the tale chose to burn his writings for some reason.


I'm Hiding's great-grandfather was encased in concrete and is now a guardian spirit maintaining the Millau Viaduct in France.


Wrong John Silver has been the face for a brand of toothpaste due to his smile.


The Fiend is a lifetime subscriber to PlayAngel.


Belphegor was Police Duck's stand-in for closeup beak shots.

Scarab Sages

Pulg has the internal neck structure of an owl, and likes to stand around in crowded public places (malls, circuses, city street corners, etc.) standing stock-still save for swiveling his head around at random intervals, as though performing a sweep of the area.


The reason that I'm Hiding is smiling is because he's not wearing pants...

...and standing in a barrel of warm marmalade.


The reason Randarak looks slightly peturbed is that it's his barrel of warm marmalade that IHIYC no-trousers is standing in, and he can see bubbles. *Big* bubbles.


Randarak poured the barrel of warm marmalade for himself, but IHIYC jumped into it be he could.

Shadow Lodge

Kat's Eye wrote:

Randarak poured the barrel of warm marmalade for himself, but IHIYC jumped into it be he could.

Kat's Eye was ninja'd by Pulg while coughing up a hairball originating from Pulg's beard.

Scarab Sages

Conman the Bardbarian loaned me the lower half of his body so I could experience the joys of jumping into other people's marmalade barrels. Don't ask me, it was his idea!


ihiyc has thus invented a new sport, 300ft marnalade jumping.


The Fiend Fantastic is laughing maniacally because... that's not marmalade.


Wrong John likes to make people squirt marmalade out their noses.


Schism always thought that marmalade was a type of dance.

Scarab Sages

Randarak's hair is made of vitrified marmalade.


Health-conscious IHIYC has foregone mocha chocolata ya-yas in favour of organic steamed soya ya-yas. Voulez-vous faire le pilates avec lui, ce soir?

Liberty's Edge

Pulg is currently reforming the League Of Super Evil.

Scarab Sages

lucky7 is trying to organize the first-ever League of Mostly-Neutral At-Least-Somewhat-Exceptional Schmucks - so far, he's managed to recruit Mr. Bean, Charlie the Unicorn, Ren Hoek, Oliver Hardy, Prince Orlofsky, and Tony Clifton. Nasreddīn Hodja considered joining, but decided to chase after an ice cream truck as it drove by and never bothered to come back.


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ihiyc was driving that ice cream van and laughed like the maniac he is.


The Fiend Fantastic was inside the van, his gob clamped around the ice cream dispenser nozzle and the switch jammed down, guzzling soft ice cream until it squizzed out of his ears. At least, that's what he told us, although it could have been that 'soft ice cream' and 'ears' were substitutes for other elements that he chose not to include in his anecdote.

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