False factoids


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Kat's Eye is into certain fetishes and spends their free time as someone's pet.


Marie's the name of Rashly5's lake of phlegm.


Pulg can see in the future, but only in a very general way, and anyway his time-vision begins at an epoch 8.7 billion years from now. Bummer.

Scarab Sages

Quiche Lisp was the one and only Official In-House Street Food Vendor for White House Press Corps meetings from 2006 to 2008. His Official George W. Bush Nickname was "Quickie."


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I'm Hiding In Your Closet is the secret son of Joan of Arc and Gilles de Rais.


Quiche Lisp IS Gilles de Rais.

Scarab Sages

rashly5 could have been the latest member of the Sonic The Hedgehog supporting cast, but had to be cut because he refused to do nude scenes.


IHIYC is the only part of Milton Friedman that the Indians couldn't use.

Dark Archive

On his death bed, Milton Friedman said that Pulg was the living proof of the virtues of a free market economy.

Nobody knows what he meant... but then, there are Some Things Man Wasn't Meant To Know !


Quiche Lord Gille de Rais knows what he meant . . . but then again, he isn't a man, is he?

Scarab Sages

rashly5 has been scientifically proven not to be a man on the inarguable grounds that he is NOT a miserable little pile of secrets, but rather a big happy mountain of TMI.

Dark Archive

IHIYC is actually a failed French mime.

Scarab Sages

Gruumash is the very first GMO Monsanto ever produced - they deny any knowledge of his existence, of course. They just regularly send out waves of employees in white suits armed with nets and gas guns in order to...show how much they Support Our Troops! Yeah, that's it!


IHIYC is actually confined in his mom's basement.


Spanky the Leprechaun is I'm Hiding In Your Closet's evil twin brother, though IHIYC is also evil.


Rashly5 is made from PEOPLE!

Scarab Sages

Pulg wishes he were so lucky.

Dark Archive

I'm Hiding In Your Closet invented the internet as a clever ploy for a devious end he doesn't remember now, because he was hammered at the time.

Scarab Sages

Quiche Lord Gille de Rais provided the raw materials - I killed him and used his bones to create a series of tubes, his blood to create the E-mail system, his teeth to create the cookies, his skin to create the webpages, his brains to create the Cloud, and his guts to create 4chan.


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I'm Hiding In Your Closet IS 4chan.


rashly5 is actually a polymorphed Rush Limbaugh.


Angry Little Guy isn't. It is all a cover to keep the bullies at bay.


Schism lost her pupils and irisis looking directly at the sun for too long based on a bet that she won.


Anklebiter Humperdink replaced his with baked beans - FUTURE CYBER BAKED BEANS - which glow with ultra techno fusion power, as do both his humper and his dink.


No one has eyes like Pulg. No one. He boasts the most impressive eye collection.

Scarab Sages

rashly5 lost his eyes to sake-eyeballing. They were replaced with the eyes of the halibut he was having for dinner.


The bells attached to IHIYC's hat are taken from the fatman-in-red's sled.


The Fiend Fantastic isn't actually a Fiend but a Friend.


the one above is a maiden named ashly with a simple r and 5 attached to it

Scarab Sages

The Fiend Fantastic is a Chaotic Good mole who became a Prince of Hell in order to destroy it from the inside - they do that sort of thing.


I'm is banned for revealing state secrets.


Captain Spalding is under consideration for conversion to the succubi ranks. Pretty and talks down clowns.


The Fiend is banned for not banning.

Scarab Sages

Captain Spalding knows what thread she's posting in - she's pulling a deliberate crazy deep-meta-False Fact, that False Fact being "this is the 'BANNED' game."


IHIYC is a know-it-all.


Captain Spalding is I'm Hiding In Your Closet's nose.

Scarab Sages

Pulg was originally created as a Muppet proposed to the Children's Television Workshop by the Family Research Council to join the cast of Sesame Street as "you know, the Muppet who's grown up and lives in The Real World and provides a necessary counterbalance to all the other Muppets' silly, naive, dangerous liberal propaganda? Please? Our kids watch that show, too you know! DO AS WE SAY!"


I'm Hiding In Your Closet is also a muppet to provide the show with a graphic visual of what happens to people when they're exposed to too much real life.


r Ashly 5 is a rice farmer's favorite pet

Scarab Sages

The Fiend Fantastic tried make his own break onto Sesame Street, but was stopped by The Count, who confronted him in the dim gloaming as the two stood on opposite sides of Mr. Hooper's grave, and simply said, "NO. Not here. There is only room for 1 Prince of Darkness in this neighborhood. 1! A-A-A-AAA!!!"


I'm Hiding In Your Closet was the butler of famed sadist Gilles de Rais.

He was dismissed by his master because of his abbhorent taste in clothes, and because even sadistic monsters have to draw the line at some point.


Quiche Lisp invented quiche. Not that he'd ever admit to doing so.


Miss Chrysante's rings on her cloak were originally 2 earrings, a tongue piercing and bellybutton piercing.


How dare you?! Such vulgar decorations are beneath a noble like me!

The Fiend Fantastic is obviously named as such for his vivid imagination...


Hell, thank you for the flattery.

Miss Chrysante is secretly humble instead of noble.


The Fiend and Chrysanthe were once married to each other.
I should know, I was their housepet.


Kat's Eye still indulges in deviant fetishes. Once, they pretended to be a puppy.


The rashly is actually a model for a children's pluche toy.

Scarab Sages

The Fiend Fantastic likes to crash airplanes by staring up at them and blinding the pilots with the glare from his eyes - he's never owned a laser pointer in his life, so it's not like they can prove anything.

Dark Archive

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I'm Hiding In Your Closet possesses antique parchments irrefutably proving Judas' innocence.

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