False factoids

[Sunomono Slaad]

KahnyaGnorc is the castle's microwave oven.

[JTDV]

Sunomono Slaad has a doll collection that actually rivals Smaug the Dragon's collection.

[I'm DMing In Your Closet]

JTDV's lair hides a vast hoard of dead presidents...and I don't mean American dollar bills.

[KahnyaGnorc]

I'm DMing In Your Closet loves to kill off I'm Hiding In Your Closet's characters is imaginative ways. Last kill involved a goblin, a horseshoe, an unlit candle, and a Deck of Many Things.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

All items mentioned, were sold by KahnyaGnorc.

[Pulg]

Count Reiner is just one speech impediment away from being Count Weiner.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Pulg went as "Load Weiner Heydwich teh Tird" for sever centuries back in his youth.

[JTDV]

KahnyaGnorc bathes in applesauce.

[Sissyl]

JTDV is jealous.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Sissyl occasionally likes to drink a whole bottle of liquid soap, then run out into the street and vomit an intense spray of bubbles at random strangers.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

IHIYC records these events to watch the various reactions from people, which amuses him greatly.

[KahnyaGnorc]

I'm Hiding In Your Closet, during a short existential crisis, once hid in bathtub bubbles.

[Lydia Stillbourne]

KahnyaGnorc's retinas are reflective, like polished mirrors, and hence cannot properly perceive vampires.

[Pulg]

Lydia has developed the ability to breathe a 50' cone of piano accordions at her foes

[JTDV]

Pulg does not breathe. He emotes!

[Alexis "The Odd" Trismegistis]

JTDV breathes with his brain, and thinks with his lungs!

[KahnyaGnorc]

Alexis "The Odd" Trismegistis is actually the 4th Alexis Trismegistis, so is really The Even.

[JTDIII]

KahnyaGnorc only shaves one head. The other heads have very long hair.

[GoatToucher]

While JTCIII's mating dance is one of nature's most beautiful spectacles, the trail of viscous fluid he leaves behind after the dance is not only pungent, but also highly acidic.

[Vick Tim]

I wad imprisoned in GoatToucher's workroom for 5000 years. He considered it a holiday bonus.

[Pulg]

Vick's Vapor Rub is a 'special service' that Mr. Tim used to offer when he was a steam elemental 1d100 ⇒ 42 Aha. Typical Streetwalker.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Pulg always rolls 42 on a d100. He is the answer to life, the universe, everything.

[GoatToucher]

Meanwhile, KG can't figure out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie-Roll center of a Tootsie-Pop.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

But wise, old GoatToucher does! Apparently, it's three.

[Pulg]

The Count, on the other hand, wants to know how many bites it takes to get to the centre of a naughty nun.

[Ventnor]

Pulg knows how many bites it takes. And he'll take the secret to his grave!

[KahnyaGnorc]

Ventnor counts the Count, touches the Toucher, plugs the Pulg, and gnorcs the Gnorc.

[The Fiend Fantastic]

KahnyaGnorc has been selling crack in the local nursing home last week.

[Lucija Lal Rani]

She had had a good sum of high-grade cocaine, but The Fiend Fantastic already bought it all up, devils being consummate connoisseurs of the substance.

[KahnyaGnorc]

It's spelled Lucija Lal Rani, but pronounced Throat-Wobbler Mangrove.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

KahnyaGnorc claims to know all the different languages in the universe and serves as the famed "Universal Translator" that no-one has ever seen.

[JTDV]

Count Reiner Heydrich once posed as a mushroom. Things worked out well until the Cream of Mushroom Soup incident.

[Ventnor]

JTDV is the president of JD TV.

[The Fiend Fantastic]

Ventnor has been funding the latest rise of Terror Clowns movements.

[KahnyaGnorc]

In order to properly pronounce The Fiend Fantastic's name, you must accompany the "Fan" and "tic" with a finger snap in front of your right shoulder, and the "tas" with a finger snap at waist level on your left side. It also requires a spunky tone of voice, possibly with a slight southern drawl.

[Pulg]

'KahnyaGnorc' is an exact description of the sound produced when the Tarrasque sits on Zuggtmoy.

[JTD]

Pulg's weapon of choice: The tricycle!

[GoatToucher]

JTD has come to the surface world to gather thousands of gallons of Root Beer to take back to his subterranean society. What they will use it for is unknown, but the prevailing theory is a millions-strong pizza party.

[KahnyaGnorc]

JTD learned the hard way that GoatToucher's "root beer" is not what he wanted...

[Ventnor]

It is what KahnyaGnorc wanted, though!

Why he wanted a thousand gallons of GoatToucher-brand "root beer" is a question that no one really wants to answer any time soon, though.

[Pulg]

Mrs. Ventnor is the Lorraine that Toto blessed down in Africa.

[Vladek Odradek]

Pulg markets his own custom chess set in his image.

Every single piece is a pawn.

[JTDV]

Vladek Odradek eats laxatives like they're Chiclets.

[The Fiend Fantastic]

JTDV is selling taco flavored condoms at the mall, just 69 cents for a package.

[GoatToucher]

TFF is planning a fiesta!

[Pulg]

GoatToucher has been using tacos as condoms for years without experiencing any difficulties, though the same cannot be said for his alternative use of the chimichanga.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Pulg had a 10-year fling with a certain young Chimichanga from L.A. It was a steamy romance.

[Sissyl]

KG takes steam baths to a hitherto unexplored level.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Sissyl refuses to take steam baths for fear she'll come out the other end bright red and on a plate with lemon, drawn butter, and a single large lettuce leaf for some friggin' reason.

[Ventnor]

I’m Hiding In Your Closet likes to hide in your armoire on weekends.