Addressing a Less Active Player


Advice


I really enjoy playing with everyone at my table, including the player in question. However, of all the members at my table, this one, C., is significantly less active during the game. Which is to say that, without prompting, his usual play style is to stand in the background and to act when prompted. He's not disruptive to events in or out of game, but he represents lost opportunity when he has nothing to say and doesn't want to do anything.

Some history. C. has been a regular at my table close to ten years now, more than three quarters of the time I've been a DM, and almost the entire time I've known him. He describes himself as being less outgoing than others. He has been the table dead weight as long as I can recall. Two campaigns ago, his character had an interesting back story, which I worked with him to integrate into the game at large and his character ended up being one of the most important characters to the plot. He was more active in this game, but it took well more than a year of playing to get him invested. For my last campaign, I ran Rise of the Runelords (having not done so when it initially came out.) C. played a pistolero, and was regarded by the table as being a walking murder machine; but he had almost no plot or involvement with the any other characters. I gave him a side plot, but he didn't pursue it unless it came up, ultimately resolving it by killing his nemesis and departing without further character development.

In our current campaign, he's playing the group's primary healer and only cleric. In our last several session, more than half of his actions have been "I say a prayer and channel energy." And that's it. He has not interacted with NPCs or other PCs. He has explicitly said, "I'm just hanging around" when asked what each character was up to.

I intend to talk the player, but am looking for advice on who to guide the conversation, and for experience you have with similar players. Most importantly, I want to provide an enjoyable game for everybody that wants to play.

Liberty's Edge

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If he's happy and not bothering anyone else, let it go. You can't force people into being more outgoing, some folks just aren't comfortable with it. Unless his behavior is somehow distracting, leave it alone.


Is he having fun?


Does he get excited when combat arises?


Maybe it's his philosophical style of play. Some people truly enjoy just sitting back and watching the action unfold, only taking role in it when it is 'bestowed' upon them. It's actually a very interesting lifestyle. In the campaign where he was more active, I'm willing to bet that it was a more forced active mood rather than just .. more active. I could be wrong though.

If it is not upsetting anyone, I don't see the harm in it. If it's upsetting at least someone else, then it should be a group talk. If it's only upsetting you, then... I'm new to this, so I dunno. Not to say you shouldn't have fun. Maybe someone else can DM?


Zhane wrote:
If he's happy and not bothering anyone else, let it go. You can't force people into being more outgoing, some folks just aren't comfortable with it. Unless his behavior is somehow distracting, leave it alone.

Pretty much this. It is not something that you will be able to hand wave away. If he has been at your table for 10 years that is what you are going to get. I am going to assume it is something that goes well beyond the gaming table. Some people like to just be included. If he is not hindering anything, and he is not ruining the fun for anyone then let him do what he is comfortable doing. You might be able to find an aspect or situation that he really likes and exploit it, but most likely he is going to be who he is. Forcing him to try and change is just going to backfire.


Continue to give him opportunities, such as being addressed by minor npcs. See if he nibbles.


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He's been playing with you for ten years? He doesn't cause any trouble? He performs competently when his turn comes up?

Wait, what was the problem again?


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Accept his style and don't try to push him into something he doesn't want to do.


To be on the other side, I can very easily see why this could be a problem. Since i'm really new, we often come to situations where the DM is explaining the extravagant town that we've arrived at and describing the outer features and calmly states "So here it is..." and then it turns out we sit there quiet for a minute, maybe even 2, until you hear the inevitable "... so what do you do".

I'm working on breaking this, because it's fun once you've been in it for an hour and a half.

But I could see the constant fear that a player is just not really syncing with the story coming up a lot from a player who walks into a bustly tavern full of drinks and song and this guy politely walks up and sits, mind you on what or where is not described, and then just gets up and goes to bed.

I'm sure it's not that bad, but I could see it.


Sounds like he’s having fun, not being disruptive and being a actual use to the party. You have tried you best, and that’s all you can do. Leave him be. Esp do not get bitter or broody about this.

Honestly, there are times I would have killed for a player like this.


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If he is getting out of the game what he wants, and he isn't annoying anyone, then you don't need to do anything. Some people are very shy, some people have social anxiety. If they are enjoying it, and no one minds, who cares?

Having someone who doesn't do a lot, and is non-disruptive, is better than someone who doesn't do anything and is disruptive/annoying, or even does stuff and is disruptive/annoying.


Some people are just wallflowers, if he's having fun and the rest of the group are having fun, just let it flow as it may. If you force things on him, it may backfire on you and cause him to leave the game. You could always ask if there's anything you can do to make it more fun for him and his characters and if he's fine with it, leave it be. If he wants something to happen, that's when you can adjust the story to get him more involved.


GM Hands of Fate wrote:

If he is getting out of the game what he wants, and he isn't annoying anyone, then you don't need to do anything. Some people are very shy, some people have social anxiety. If they are enjoying it, and no one minds, who cares?

Having someone who doesn't do a lot, and is non-disruptive, is better than someone who doesn't do anything and is disruptive/annoying, or even does stuff and is disruptive/annoying.

This in particular. Because I have two (maybe 3) players who act in the game to disrupt it and interrupt the fun of the other players. Not intentionally - they're trying to have fun their way, but half the group likes a really serious game, and the other half likes a really wacky game. Really tough to balance it all out.

Right. Your problem. I'll mirror what everyone else has said - If he's having fun, leave him be. I've had players like this before. Called Lurkers. They're quiet, act when prompted, don't assert themselves much, etc.

It's OK to talk to him for a few minutes before a session, to make sure he's having fun and getting what he wants out of the game. But don't beat yourself up trying to guess what he wants. If you think he's being honest, keep doing what you're doing, and give him minor prompts from time to time, to see if he wants to take a bigger role in a session. He may have confidence issues or whatever that prevent him from being more outgoing. Unless you're a professional, don't play psychologist.

Satisfy his desires as best you can, and if he says you're doing fine, believe him. Even if he's lying, he's got a reason for it. And he has a reason for coming back week after week - because you help him have fun for a few hours.


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I play my characters the same way this guy plays. I prefer non-assertive, quiet, mysterious characters that rarely speak up, stand in the back and when forced to speak I keep it simple. However, when needed, my characters step up to the plate and give more than their fair share. The rest of my game group couldn't imagine me playing characters any other way.

This persons behavior is not a problem unless it is disrupting the rest of the players. If the other players do not have an issue with it, leave him be.

It is, in my opinion, insulting to force your personality on someone else. You don't have to agree with his playing style; you only have to like him as a person. If he is an OK guy then leave him alone and accept him for who he is.

If he is bothering the rest of the group, take a group vote. If the majority dislike the guy, pull him aside, talk to him, tell him that the game group needs him to be more active. Let him GM a module or something. Take a game session and play Apples to Apples. Stimulate him and give him a chance to get to know everyone better. Take him out to dinner afterwards. Nothing gets a conversation started like wings and beer.

If he continues to be too reserved and it is bothering the group, kick him out. Harsh, but life is too short for bad gaming.


You should poll your players regularly for feedback.

Get feedback from him, ask him what he'd like to see in the game.

Alternativcely, maybe the problem IS that you've been part of the same groups for 10 years. Players can burn out as well. I've gone through periods where I just dropped gaming because I needed a break (same players for over 20 years, no time to run around and find other groups)


Ditto. After many years I've finally come to the conclusion that it's just not worth my time as a GM to try and change those players. I weave intricate back stories for the players that are interested in intricate back stories. I let the guy who wants to be a lump be a lump.

Sure, I'll toss him a tidbit every now and then to see if he wants to bite, but it he doesn't I quickly move on.

If it's a problem for the group, you're better off letting him go than trying to change how he plays.


I wouldn't worry about him being a lump on the log, especially if he brings beer and is willing to play roles that other people wouldn't.

If you'd like him to role-play more I'd suggest involving him in subtle ways. Don't ask him to have a conversation with an NPC, instead try to get him using subtle gestures. A wink, a hand on the shoulder, a cocked eyebrow. Have a fellow priest of the same god shake his hand and introduce himself. The paladin's horse might nuzzle him when he pulls an apple out of his pack. Maybe he occasionally sneaks the horse an apple when no one is looking.


Humphrey Boggard wrote:

I wouldn't worry about him being a lump on the log, especially if he brings beer and is willing to play roles that other people wouldn't.

If you'd like him to role-play more I'd suggest involving him in subtle ways. Don't ask him to have a conversation with an NPC, instead try to get him using subtle gestures. A wink, a hand on the shoulder, a cocked eyebrow. Have a fellow priest of the same god shake his hand and introduce himself. The paladin's horse might nuzzle him when he pulls an apple out of his pack. Maybe he occasionally sneaks the horse an apple when no one is looking.

so THATS where all the apples have boon going.


Zhane wrote:
If he's happy and not bothering anyone else, let it go. You can't force people into being more outgoing, some folks just aren't comfortable with it. Unless his behavior is somehow distracting, leave it alone.

Zhane pretty much hit the nail on the head... first post. I dont see the issue here and agree with most the posters. Seems he is having fun and not being an issue. Let it be.


what you might want to do is ask him if he's happy with the involvement of his character in RP situations (or rather lack thereof) or if there is something that you might be able to do better, otherwise. Otherwise it should be totally fine.

I found myself waiting out a lot of non-combat gametime too lately bewcause i didn't feel like getting involved with the npcs, which had nothing to do with the GM's style.


I tend to be both introverted and shy IRL, maybe like player C, of courese I don't know them, but it's possible. There's one thing I've noticed, I tend to role play more in smaller groups. Generally I worry that I'll take too much time in RP and someone else will not have time to have the spotlight.

Another consideration with RP and time, I usually do less in combat. Mostly because 30-40 min. into the battle I just want it to end as quickly as possible.


If he's happy and not bothering anyone, I'd say leave it alone. You can solicit information from him, check in, see how he's doing, if he's having fun etc.

Honestly I'd prefer him to 'that guy' in the group that is more a disruption, distracting and grinding things to a halt. Funny is good, trying to make all the other players his audience all the time, is not.


Ok, I'll take this to the opposite end and give an example where it gets awkward. I'm faily new to a real deal game (just ended our 4th session! that's a record).

We run into this situation a lot because we only have 3 players. Monk/Ranger/Bard, and of course I'm the bard. I'm the only one with ranks in diplomacy, and bluff. With the bonuses, as well as being a bard for knowledge checks, the social role is not given, but pretty much forced on me.

And I suck at talking

I, like the player the OP is referencing, am just not that great at playing the role. I enjoy support characters like no other, but i'm no good at this. It's what I want to play, but this additional role (you could call it a tax, but that's wrong) is something I'm just not very good at.

As DM's (or players!), what do you do in this situation. Especially in my case, combat is somewhat interesting but it can't be the be-all, especially if you have skills in social skills and need some sort of coherent story to make things fun. But when you have 2 other characters that use CHR as their lowest stat, and someone who pretty much maxed it and skilled in it, how do you make it so that those conversations work out?

I want to, I really do, I just confess i'm no good at it.


KHShadowrunner wrote:


I want to, I really do, I just confess i'm no good at it.

Practice, practice, practice... and always remember that you are not playing yourself. Some of my character are more like the real me, and others are less so. Adopt a persona, establishing in your mind ways that the character is not like you. Develop motivations and interests for your character. Quirks, fears, flaws, dislikes, strengths. You can't help but bring a healthy dose of yourself to your characters, but it is also an opportunity to pretend you are someone else.


KHSadowrunner-nothing wrong with being new and not being great right off the bat. Your other players are being lazy and their meta gaming. Yes your character is mechanically the best at talking. Its a role you have the potential to be very good at and they don't have the same tools you do. That does not mean that you as the nominal party face should do all the talking. It annoys me when people do this in a party and its worse that their forcing it on someone like you who doesn't want to be thrown into the role. Role playing interactions shouldn't be all dice rolls but organic role playing can be as effective if not more the constantly making diplomacy and bluff roles. I'd ask them to step up their game and act like real people in game rather then letting the numbers dictate who speaks.

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