Deck of Wing Dings
Duck of Many Wings
Alternately:
Deck of Mini Wangs
I drew from that deck... :sobs:
Wand of Wondra
Spoon of Soup Eating
Wand of \m/METAL\m/ Detection
Brazer of Holding
Book of Cursing
Contains every curse word in every language past present and future.
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Stick of spelling
Each day roll on random letter and sound table(It's always QU, never just Q). All that day the owner can cast any spell, but they must use a word beginning with that letter or sound. The player must spell the word, and is usually in elementary school. Alliteration is allowed, such as mumble monkey or mound of marshmallows.
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A +3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406 286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408 128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128 475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141 273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548 820466521384146951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118 548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086 021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405 132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146 549585371050792279689258923542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309 960518707211349999998372978049951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642 522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147 303598253490428755468731159562863882353787593751957781857780532171226806613 001927876611195909216420198938095257201065485863278865936153381827968230301 952035301852968995773622599413891249721775283479131515574857242454150695950 829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927701671139009848824 012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767837449448255379774726847104 047534646208046684259 dagger of irrationality.
A +3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406 286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408 128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128 475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141 273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548 820466521384146951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118 548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086 021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405 132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146 549585371050792279689258923542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309 960518707211349999998372978049951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642 522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147 303598253490428755468731159562863882353787593751957781857780532171226806613 001927876611195909216420198938095257201065485863278865936153381827968230301 952035301852968995773622599413891249721775283479131515574857242454150695950 829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927701671139009848824 012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767837449448255379774726847104 047534646208046684259 dagger of irrationality.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, pie!
(This can be moved to homebrew)
Club sandwich: Two slices of rye bread with a hand club in between.
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This is not an item that belongs here. But my GM think it does.
I had a brilliant idea for a friends Pathfinder campaign.
It starts with this-
Sword of Inner Fire
Price 151,315 gp; Slot none; CL 16th; Weight 4 lbs.; Aura strong transmutation [fire]
DESCRIPTION
This +1 flaming burst brilliant energy longsword has a burnished copper hilt and burns with blue and white flame.
In the hands of a mythic wielder, the sword's fire damage bypasses fire resistance and fire immunity. As a swift action, the wielder can expend one use of mythic power to enable the sword of inner fire to damage nonliving creatures (such as constructs and undead) for 1 round, though the sword still can't damage inanimate objects.
A wielder of at least 3rd tier can absorb the sword of inner fire into her body as a swift action, and call it back to hand with another swift action. While the sword is stored in this way, her eyes burn with orange flame and she gains a +5 deflection bonus to AC and a +2 luck bonus on all saving throws.
CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
Cost 75,815 gp; Feats Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Mythic Crafter; Spells flame strike, gaseous form, instant summons, shield of faith
So you can follow how this idea came about. I was writing an email to my GM about items I wanted to make, so he could think about them in a leisurely fashion. And I wrote-
"Likewise Spellbreaker MA 146 CL 12 and ]Sword of Inner Fire MA 146 CL 16. I particularly like the second, which isn't surprising. Could I make a Sword of Inner Fire not as a sword, which I am not proficient with, but a Dagger, Staff or Shorspear of Inner Fire? I can't see any balance reason to say no, but ur the GM. I think you said at one stage that it should not be a dagger, as that is easily concealable and a sword isn't is, I think, the reason. This isn't past reconsideration, read the description. ]A Trebuchet of Inner Fire is more concealable than a normal dagger."
Then I realise a A Trebuchet of Inner Fire was an inspired idea.
I looked up trebuchets, specifically a counterweight trebuchet, on wikipedia. If you assume it can shoot a 100kg missile, fairly modest considering the size of shot trebuchets actually fired, then the correct weight for the counterweight is 133x that, or 13.3 tonnes. All up the thing would weigh around 30 tonnes.
According to Wikipedia, a longsword has an average weight of 1.1 to 1.8 kg, say 1.5 kg for a midpoint.
Now, refer back to the magic item description, 1.5 kg of magic item gives a person +5 AC and +2 saves. Now a masterwork counterweight trebuchet will cost more and take longer to make than a longsword. But it weighs 20,000 times as much, so when absorbed into bodies should suffice to give +5 AC and +2 saves to 20,000 people. A substantial army.
Alternatively, it should suffice to give each member of our party + the summoner's eidelon a bonus of-
1/5 x 20,000 x +5= +20,000 to AC
And-
1/5 x 20,000 x +2= +4,000 to saves.
The kink in the plan is it will work for an army, but they all need to be mythic tier 3.
An entirely logical, balanced and reasonable plan imho.
Cubic Gate. This small metal cube will expand into a large metal gate if touched to the side of any doorway. Even one of a pair of trees. The gate is made of thick metal bars and has a hidden button on your side that if you push it turns it back into a cube.
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The Win: This magical item doesn't have any practical applications, but possessing it fills the holder with a short lived feeling of accomplishment. It teleports away from the holder after 1d4+2 minutes, at which point the now prior holder feels a sense of loss and frustration. The Win's appearance is different for every holder, but is always small enough to be held in one hand.
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The Win: This magical item doesn't have any practical applications, but possessing it fills the holder with a short lived feeling of accomplishment. It teleports away from the holder after 1d4+2 minutes, at which point the now prior holder feels a sense of loss and frustration. The Win's appearance is different for every holder, but is always small enough to be held in one hand.
I think we have 1 or 2 of those in the Last Poster Wins thread
At least 2, but one is a fake I made.
Cursed adamant dagger -1: It bypasses constructs damage reduction, but it's always -1 to hit and damage. It makes a nice letter opener.
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A toaster, in a world without electrical outlets.
A box of toaster pastries. Still nowhere to plug in your toaster.
Subtopic, mislabeled items. (Lovingly crafted by clerics of Eris)
Lotion of Speak With Dead. (Actually it's lotion of Raise Dead. If the entire body isn't there it will just scream and die again.)
Scroll of Make a Hole. (It's a scroll with 3 misstitled Make Whole spells on it.)
Figurine of Wondrous Power: Bronze Ferret. When activated it steals all of your possessions and hides them in various dark corners, starting with you favorite magic weapon, then you keys.
Butter Knife of Slaying, works only on dairy golems and cows.
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Butler of Deflection. Really just an over dressed man who replies to all questions with "I wouldn't know siiirrrrr.
Pokemon deck. These cards are not magical. They can only be used to play Pokemon, the card game. It's a Magickarp theme deck. You will probably not last to get the Garados out.
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Staff of Meeting. Summons in a table, chairs, and every member of your party or business. 1 charge plus 1 for every person summoned in.
Monster summoning 3 will recharge 1 while refuge will recharge 2.
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The Katamari Damocles (Major Artifact): The incredibly adhesive disembodied head of an ancient ruler, this artifact can be thrown at the heads of other rulers, knocking them off their necks and fusing them with the Katamari Damocles. Overuse of this item can have unpredictable results - for example, one time the accumulated collection got to be the size of a large barrel and spontaneously formed into the vestige Dantalion.
Travel Flagon of Incessant Spillage This metallic mug has a hinged lid and seems ideal for using on trips. However, whenever its used, it invariably spills, no matter how stable a surface it happens to be sitting on, especially if said surface moves at all.
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Portable generator of infinite electric power (requires gasoline) at last I can use my toaster and eat these odd toaster pastries we found, but wait, what the hell is gasoline, and where do we find it!?
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Cape of the Cosmo - All it really does it ensure you are blamed for everything that goes wrong with everyone.
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Portable generator of infinite electric power (requires gasoline) at last I can use my toaster and eat these odd toaster pastries we found, but wait, what the hell is gasoline, and where do we find it!?
Knowledge Nature + Geography = Geology. Add profession Prospector and you might be able to make the DC 30 to find crude oil. Fabricate will turn crude into gasoline as a mineral. I know it's not that simple. You need a big bilge pump to pull out the crude, a tank or bucket you bought from some giants, ect.
Snakeskin bag of holding. Since snakes can swallow creatures wider than themselves, these bags have super stretchy openings. With the type IV you can hide your wings in one under your secret identity clothes, if you are a vigilante.
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Ring of chaotic regeneration: Wearer fast healing 1-6 points every 1D6 rounds.
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Amulet of Mighty Listicles: 25 of the BEST Wondrous Items. Number 7 will Blow Your Mind!
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Arcane tattoo, Cutie Mark: A small rainbow tattoo that always ends up on the PC's arse cheek, no matter where it is inked in the first place. Effect: causes bearer to crap rainbows and accept the power of friendship.
Keoghtom's Rump Ointment: Soothes and relieves.
The Win: This magical item doesn't have any practical applications, but possessing it fills the holder with a short lived feeling of accomplishment. It teleports away from the holder after 1d4+2 minutes, at which point the now prior holder feels a sense of loss and frustration. The Win's appearance is different for every holder, but is always small enough to be held in one hand.
Pfffft.
The Dread Mirkin of Courage.
This codpiece is made of long plaited tendrils of hair and gives the wearer an immense feeling of superiority. +2 will saves for courage -2 diplomacy for wearing a garish mirkin.
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Pearl of Chowder: Found floating in a bowl of hot, delicious, New England clam chowder. It will fill any container it is put in with hot, delicious, New England clam chowder. It's a minor artifact so there are no limits. The New York red version is considered a cursed item.
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The Cursed Bouncy Ball of Doom
Once bounced, it will never stop bouncing unless caught. The person who threw it feels an incredible urge to catch it.
Rod of Flailing: It has it's command word on it's side in Draconic. It seems to all tests to be a standard rod of flailing, till the command word is said. Then anyone touching it must succeed in a DC 30 will save or fall down, flailing their arms and legs. They can attempt a new save every round.
Rod of Failing: Unless the wielder succeeds on a DC 52 Will save, the rod merely sputters and does nothing.