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4-01 Rise of the Goblin Guild - Songs!!!! (spoilers)

GM Discussion

*** Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010

10 people marked this as a favorite.

Goblin Sentry Song
Sung by the sentries in area A1. (if they get the chance)

    Silly longshanks in our pit,
    Do you like the smell of it?
    The slimy thing that eats our waste,
    Will grind your bones up into paste.

Nightsoil Marauder Fire Protection Racket Song
Sung by the lab helpers in area A4.

    The Nightsoil Marauders own this town
    Pay our price or we burn it down
    We’re the spark and you’re the tinder
    We’ll burn you up, to a cinder

    Give us your food, and your money
    Cos we’re rude, and we’re funny
    Or we come back in the dark of night
    And we’ll set your house alight

    We’ll grin with glee as it ignite
    Sing a song as it burn bright
    We’ll lock your doors
    As the fire roars
    Then eat your family, cooked just right

Versevosh’s Taunting Song
Sung by Versevosh in area A5.

    Ugly longshanks got no brain,
    Soon they tasting lots of pain,
    Kill that one and the rest will flee,
    So come here longshanks, come to me!

    You longshanks are all the same,
    You longshanks we hack and maim,
    We’ll make you squeal and make you cry,
    So come on longshanks, come and die!


Words fail to describe the sheer awesomeness of this.

Anyone using these should record it, put it online and post a link here.

Grand Lodge ***

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber Subscriber

My VL is running this at GenCon, I hope he sees these before we head out this evening.


I will have these sung and recorded and add links if all goes well...


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber Subscriber

I got the chance to run this and just want to say thank you for these great adds. The look on my players faces when I passed around the song so we could all sing them was fantastic!!!!!

Thank you Thank you Thank you
was a very fun game to run

Review coming soon


I used the songs for the bard at several tables and the players really enjoyed them, and I did too. Thanks!

Sovereign Court **

I'm running this next weekend. Will definitely sing this at the top of my voice. Love it!

Silver Crusade ***** Venture-Captain, Indiana—Bloomington aka CanisDirus

I'm running this at the local game store tomorrow - will try to get an audio recording at least of it and the players' reactions (especially if we have younger players).

Needless to say - awesome stuff!

I payed thi at gencon on Friday morning. The gm running it (from Toronto Canada and I forget his name ) was awesome. The goblins were annoying and thru random chants and comments with their alch fire. Great time! Great gm!


Tsa Vol'rae wrote:
I payed thi at gencon on Friday morning. The gm running it (from Toronto Canada and I forget his name ) was awesome. The goblins were annoying and thru random chants and comments with their alch fire. Great time! Great gm!

I believe this was me; I remember calling the name Tsa when initiative came up every round on Friday morning. I'm really happy that you had a good time, and I'm glad my screeching Goblin voice made it worthwhile. Hope to see you next year!

Silver Crusade ***** Venture-Captain, Indiana—Bloomington aka CanisDirus

1 person marked this as a favorite.

My players earlier tonight *loved* these. The guards singing about the pit must have jinxed the dice, because there were a record number of natural 1's in that part of the sewer for the party.

Things I had to say during the adventure:

"Ok, you hear the sound of a drag queen drowning in the sewer water behind you."

"You're a gnome barbarian, you're close to the ground...the slime mold is basically the has an AC of 8...and you missed it?!"

"At the end of your charge, you trip over the edge of the pit you were trying to jump down into, and with the natural 1 on your reflex save, face-plant into the slime mold."

"You try to pull the drowning cross-dressing sorcerer out of the water, and you got a 2 on your strength check? If this party wasn't having such bad luck already I'd be tempted to have you roll to see if you get pulled in too!"

Did I mention this all happened in the same turn?

We almost didn't finish the scenario on-time because dealing with the A1 guards, the DC 5 acrobatics check to jump over the sewer water, the DC 7 climb check to get out of said water, and the DC 5 swim check to not get sucked under water and start drowning, all took over 30 minutes because of comically horrible rolls. That and two players were laughing so hard they had to leave the room for a few minutes to calm down.

Needless to say, it was a very hard-fought victory for the subtier 1-2 table, but they had a blast, and loved the songs!

Scarab Sages **** Venture-Agent, Online

CanisDirus wrote:

"Ok, you hear the sound of a drag queen drowning in the sewer water behind you."

Definitely one of the most unintentionally hilarious traps I've ever run into in a game. It was a blast.

Sovereign Court ***** RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

just played this this weekend.

Will definitely remember these songs for when I run it.

Grand Lodge ***** Venture-Captain, Pennsylvania—Pittsburgh

Running this on Sunday, and I'm going to be singing these for the players...

On one hand I want to give them a warning so I can get it on video, but on the other hand I don't want to give anyone warning. Seems better to surprise them.

Liberty's Edge ****

I figure Ekkie needed a song too.

Ekkie's Song

Ekkie like Plarg best of all
He no make Ekkie crawl
If you hurt Plarg’s little head
Ekkie make sure you be dead

I almost didn't use the songs for the sentries and alchemists, since nobody spoke goblin. Luckily someone asked Ekkie to translate.

*** Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010


A good reason the goblins sing in Common:

Remember that Versevosh speaks Common and he's the one who makes up and teaches the Guild most of their goblin songs, so don't be afraid to sing them in Common.

This means that the goblins are sure to mangle some of the words in amusing ways.

Grand Lodge

I wish I read these before I lead this scenario a few weeks ago. These are awesome.

Dark Archive **

I am running this in about 4 hours from now, I will try it out.

Scarab Sages ****

I used these this past weekend on a table of people I knew would enjoy it to see their reactions. It was hilarious. Thanks for posting these and if anyone comes up with more, let's add them in.

Liberty's Edge ****

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I had another song that I had the goblins sentries working on when the party approached. The party could hear the sounds of the goblin sentries trying it out as they approached.

Burn destroy wreck and kill, arson, arson
Burn destroy wreck and kill, arson, arson
Burn destroy wreck and kill, Nightsoil Marauders surely will!
Whoa, ooohhh, oohh

A goblin speaks “I think it needs more burning”

A second goblin voice “ok how about. Burn destroy wreck and burn, arson, arson”

A third goblin whines “But now we don’t have any killing.”

Second goblin frustrated “How about. Burn destroy burn and kill, arson, arson”

First goblin “This is hard, I like Versevosh’s song.”

This song is a slightly modified version of the second verse of We Came to Drink. You can hear the original at the here . Second verse starts at 12th second.

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