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Wait... You do what?...


Gamer Talk

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Thefurmonger wrote:
So anyway, what are some of your "Wait...... What?!?!?" moments from GM's?

Mostly seeing how much damage archer's do.

And paladins when they smite.

Yes, Magus (with their crits with scimitars) and Summoners (pet and pits) are quite powerful too.

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Savage Tide had a lot of these for me as GM.

Duskling Totemist|Barbarian: "I leap off the ship/to the other ship/to tackle the ooze/etc. etc. etc." He really liked his Leap Attack, and rolled uncannily well on Acrobatics when he needed it.

Skarn Warblade|Incarnate: *just disarmed* "I attack it [Lemorian Golem] bare-clawed." Crit led to a Shoryuken punch that decapitated both its heads.

Taldor

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Tales Subscriber

My goblin barbarian was at the bottom of a ship (fell off a log), surrounded by zombies and about to be eaten up... So he hefted his greataxe, raged and smashed through the hull (smasher rage power).

My favourite escape plan.


GeraintElberion wrote:

My goblin barbarian was at the bottom of a ship (fell off a log), surrounded by zombies and about to be eaten up... So he hefted his greataxe, raged and smashed through the hull (smasher rage power).

My favourite escape plan.

I love everything about this.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

A few months ago, my party was fighting Xill pirates aboard a ship. I had forgotten how good xill are in grappling, and how bad my party is (it's their big weakness). Anyway, the fight was heading toward TPK-ville, as almost all of the PCs are grappled, and none of them are succeeding on the CMB checks.

The next PC's turn comes up, and he declares, "I use my cape of the mountebank to dimension door into the same space as the xill that's grappling the cleric."

My response, "Wait....you do WHAT?"

He says, "I mean to telefrag him."

Since the item is a command-word-activated item, no hands are needed to use it, so he can automatically use it while grappled. Looking at the dimension door spell description, I see what he's going for: if you try to materialize in a space occupied by something else, you and anyone you carry are shunted off in a random direction. Since he can see his target space, (and because the combat is going so very badly for the party), I decide that it will be an automatic success.

He d-doors, taking the xill that's grappling him along, and materialized in the same space as another. I roll a random direction, and the three of them are then shunted in a random direction-- 50 feet starboard, in 20 feet of water! And they're still grappled! (And, they all took a few d6 of damage.)

So, using a fair interpretation of the Pathfinder RAW, I had a player essentially telefrag an opponent!

[Oh, and if anyone was wondering, the game was a hightly modified version of the Season 0 PFS Scenario King Xeros of Old Azlant.


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Back in ye olden 3.5 days, we had done a fun little one shot that culminated with us bursting into the BBEG's throne room for the final showdown. We were level 7 and when the doors opened we saw a shrivelled wizard sitting on a throne with THREE (3) beholders floating menacingly around him.

Since we kicked in the door, our GM gave us a surprise round.

I won initiative.

Seeing 3 beholders in front of us and having no idea how in the world we could survive what was about to be unleashed upon us, I hatched a plan.

In the surprise round, I fished my portable hole out of my pocket.

In the first full round, I dashed forward to the foot of the throne, threw the portable hole on the ground and while wearing my heward's handy haversack, jumped in.

It was glorious.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Bbauzh ap Aghauzh wrote:


I may have him start rolling bluff vs. sense motive as well.

That's what I'd do. The PC is trying to bluff his opponent into being at a relative disadvantage. That seems about the right time to call for the bluff check.

In fact, the situation in which a rogue with mobility dashes through the field specifically to draw attacks might be worth a bluff/sense motive test as well. An insightful opponent might successfully read the play and hold back until his attack of opportunity would be more decisive.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Bill Dunn wrote:
That's what I'd do. The PC is trying to bluff his opponent into being at a relative disadvantage. That seems about the right time to call for the bluff check.

Exactly. This is pretty much a feint maneuver, and should be treated like one.


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Had a fun one of these moments last night. I was suprised at how surprised everyone else was, lol.

In our Carrion Crown campaign I recently rejoined, I am playing an Aasimar Inquisitor of Iomedae, of Lawbringer descent. I took almost all of the racial feats, and I wear a heavy coat and hat of disguise(wde brim) to keep my more "outwardly" features on the down-low. So, my day to day appearance looks fairly mundane, just bulky clothing. By this point(10th level, I just recently rejoined) the other players had only seen my mundane disguise.

We were battling a creature that cast a field of Spike Stones on the party. I was positioned near the back edge of the field of effect, so trying to walk through the spikes would means lots of damage and reflex saves.

I didn't feel like messing with all of that, so I decided it was time to drop the ruse and give this foul beast what for. I dropped the disguise, unfurled my wings, with silver skin gleaming, I drew out my sword and shield and flew out of the spikes at the creature.

There was a collective "You do... WHAT?" around the table. It was grand. :)


Haladir:
Did your players survive?

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Haladir wrote:
Bill Dunn wrote:
That's what I'd do. The PC is trying to bluff his opponent into being at a relative disadvantage. That seems about the right time to call for the bluff check.
Exactly. This is pretty much a feint maneuver, and should be treated like one.

I assume you guys do the same when a fighter runs past a monster in order to draw AoO's so his wizard buddy can cast or retreat safely?

Andoran

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber
Jiggy wrote:
I assume you guys do the same when a fighter runs past a monster in order to draw AoO's so his wizard buddy can cast or retreat safely?

Bill DID say 'the PC' which applies to both characters.


13 people marked this as a favorite.

3.5 Playing my rogue, around level 7. I use UMD a lot, and usually only spend 500-4k g/item on lots of little things, instead of the kill anything sword or protection from everything armor.

Starting a new plot arc, contracted to break into house and steal stuff, GM intends to introduce a mid level villian for us to deal with for 4-5 levels.

I'm in the middle of ransacking the study, when he comes in in all his holy warrior glory.

GM: you still have detect magic up, this guy glows in a dozen places, from boots to helm.
Me: yay. "Well, time to be off, don't you have a grain sack or something to pose for?"
GM: He snatches his sword up and attacks, this guy is much better trained than your fighter, 11-12th level btw. "Stop Thief, that you might be judged!"
Me: Tumble past him, out the door, around the corner. Move action. Whip out my portable hole, drop it just back from the corner. standard action. Nighttime, low torches, major spot penalties, I then proceed to -loudly- run in place.
GM: rolls... 7. he doesn't see the hole, he comes around the corner and falls in.
Me: fold it back up, put it back in my pocket, go back to the study where i was so rudely interrupted.
GM: How long are you gonna keep it?
Me: 10-20 mins, i've got time to go thru this properly now.
GM: you didn't really do anything you know, 10x10 has enuff air for an hour or so.
Me: remember when we got ran out of the last city?
GM: yeah, you destroyed a statue or something right?
Me: A fountain in the square. Remeber how?
GM: yeah... you used that damn portable hole and collapsed it.
Me: right. and I haven't opened it since i last opened it in the bottom of that fountain.
GM: Wait, its still full of water?
Me: Yup. In an hour or so we'll open it back up outside of town, fish him out, and I think our fighter will like the new armor and sword when it dries out.
GM: You Bastard.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

I was running a Star Wars game, and the party had been tasked with hijacking a transport speeder taking supplies and other things to a local Imperial base. They asked for what route the speeder was going to take, so I provided it to them.

The plan they came up with involved chopping the limbs off of one of the party members (a Gen-Dai, a race that can regrow limbs in 1d10 minutes), setting up a wall of mesh tape across the road when their route got into a largely unpopulated area with dense buildings, and attaching the limbs to said wall. They figured that, by setting up such a horrifying scene the drivers would be almost guaranteed to stop and investigate, at which point they'd attack.


Thefurmonger wrote:

My magus steps in and casts shocking grasp (intense, 6d6)...

Hit.
Crit.
Roll... (dear lord, nearly max)

Ah, maguses... For when slashing and blasting just isn't enough.

They get really nasty... Seriously...

Now if only there was a way to make it so my Magus doesn't keep dropping on combat...
---
On a side not, I haven't gotten far with him, but I do hope to level up a crazy rogue.
Rogue 5 (Skulking Slayer/Scout)
So eventually, he'll be charging at people for 1d12+3d8+9 for a sneak attack with a Great Axe.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jiggy wrote:
Haladir wrote:
Bill Dunn wrote:
That's what I'd do. The PC is trying to bluff his opponent into being at a relative disadvantage. That seems about the right time to call for the bluff check.
Exactly. This is pretty much a feint maneuver, and should be treated like one.
I assume you guys do the same when a fighter runs past a monster in order to draw AoO's so his wizard buddy can cast or retreat safely?

Depends on the opponent. If it's of animal intelligence or lower, or if it's just a mook, they pretty much always fall for that tactic, and I don't bother rolling. If the opponent is intelligent, a boss, or a major opponent, then yes, I would roll in a situation where the players are essentially metagaming their tactics vis-a-vis AOOs.

Oh, and, many of my villains have "Combat Reflexes". My PCs no longer assume that bad guys only get one AOO, and usually react accordingly.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Oladon wrote:
** spoiler omitted **

Oladon:
Yes, they survived. The xill were going for pins, and once the PCs were pinned, they were going to go ethereal with their prisoners and throw them in the brig. But xill take three rounds to become ethereal. The rogue's gambit worked-- he and two xill ended up in the drink outside the ship. When they surfaced, the two boats full of royal marines who were guarding against the pirate ship (and had hired the PCs) all trained crossbows on the xill, and sent them to a watery grave. They then helped the PC out of the water and back aboard the ship.

Meanwhile, the newly un-grappled wizard successfully cast phantasmal killer against the xill who was grappling the paladin, while the barbarian managed to kill the xill that was grappling him. Between them, they managed to free the rest of the party, and only the NPC gnome expert got captured.

The party healed up, then unloaded a world of hurt on the xill, and captured the ship.

[Of course, the ship itself had other ideas, and sailed away on its own, but that's another tale.]

Grand Lodge

Everyone talks about how much blasting sucks for casters, yet I regularly get society GMs asking "You just did how many D6 of damage?"

In one scenario, thanks to a curse that grants natural armor but does bad things to spellcasting, my level 1 bard had the highest AC of the group. Said bard proceeded to shock the table by simply grappling a small fey that was annoying us and forcing her surrender.

Nobody expects a battle-bard.

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

TriOmegaZero wrote:
Jiggy wrote:
I assume you guys do the same when a fighter runs past a monster in order to draw AoO's so his wizard buddy can cast or retreat safely?
Bill DID say 'the PC' which applies to both characters.

I only ask because I've frequently heard of the fighter's "AoO soak" tactic, but have never ever ever heard of it requiring any kind of check... until I bring up the pocket-rock version, listen to the accusations of cheese (some jesting, some not), and then respond to their countermeasures with "you do that for everyone, right?" Then suddenly it's "Oh, of course! I've always required a check on AoO soaking!"

Riiiiiight. Go brush your ruffled mustaches and put your fallen monacles back up, folks. I'll try not to threaten your collective blood pressure again.

Andoran

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

Of course, if the player doesn't SAY 'I am moving to soak this AoO' the DM would have no idea the player was trying to Bluff...


Haladir:
Heh, very nice. Thanks for sharing. :)


5 people marked this as a favorite.

Not from my game, but my favourite strip of a Webcomic full of "you do WHAT?" moments.

'findel


Laurefindel wrote:

Not from my game, but my favourite strip of a Webcomic full of "you do WHAT?" moments.

'findel

~LAUGHTER~

(~Still laughing~)

Andoran

That is a good comic.


The whole series is great.

Andoran

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Hey, "comic" can refer to the whole shebang.

This "comic" has a lot of those moments too.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Relatively recently, I have three:

1.) Chaos Earth campaign, it's D-Day and we're NEMA trying to save as many civvies as we can from Yellowstone-induced death. We get everyone in the small town we're in into an assortment of buses, cars and trucks to head east. Listening to the flavor text, lo and behold there's a small train depot. The GM's "WTF" moment was when we commandeered the train to evacuate ~1,500 civvies from horrible death.

2.) Horror on the Orient Express campaign. The investigators (PCs) are chasing a lovely red herring that results in their boarding the Doom Train. The Passengers are undead mooks barely able to hit the broad side of a barn. It's what happens that the players had their WTF moment when the first investigator found out exactly what happens when the Passengers land their c-cw-combo: death by loss of soul. Five investigators died aboard the Doom Train.

3.) 2 or 3 years ago, roughly, the KGM was racking up an impressive body count running a homebrew Pathfinder campaign. The GM persuaded me to belly up to the table for a spell. Many of the players were running 2 PCs each and still getting smoked left and right. Introduce the infamous Brothers Faust, 10th level clerics with the Repose Domain and Quicken SLA (touch of repose - or whatever it's called). The KGM's "WTF" moment was when his beloved villains kept entering melee with the brothers. On their initiatives, one delayed until just before the other, two quickened melee touch attacks = slumbering villain, no save. One brother did the CDG while the other would do something heinous ,. Like drop a flamestrike or somesuch. Priceless.


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My favorite one was back in high school, years ago (shortly after 3e had come out I think). I had a habit of ruining the DM's plans badly, and he kept coming after me, specifically, with worse and worse stuff. Well, at this particular time I was playing my elven sorceress and had just gotten 4th level spells, and the party (against my and another player's advice) had split up.

Well, the DM gets this evil grin and informs me and the guy that was with me that his homebrew demon, the...child of the BBEG at the time, teleports in next to us. This homebrew demon is, effectively, a balor/pit fiend equivalent...we were level 8. The guy playing the halfling rogue turns pale, because he's sure we're about to die (this demon is known for being particularly bloodthirsty), and I figured we were too, but I wasn't gonna just give up.

So...DM calls for initiative, and I win thanks to a roll of like 5 on his part. I had just picked up Phantasmal Killer (yeah, it's not a great spell, but at the time I was just excited to get my first SoD even if it had 2 saves <_<), and I figured...what the hell, let it ride. I cast PK, make my concentration, and breach its SR by 1 with a natural 20. The DM just looks smug, cause even though I beat the SR, there's no way this thing is gonna fail 2 saves in a row like that, right? He rolls...2, 1. His jaw literally dropped open for about 15 seconds or so, and the whole party (even those who weren't there) is cheering and ribbing him about it.

For background, this elven sorceress had a habit of doing things that should be impossible - the dice gods must have loved her. She'd get captured and put in...precarious situations regularly (high school boy as DM, I'm the only girl in the group, you can figure it out from there -_-) and pretty much every time the party would come to rescue her, and she'd end up rescuing them after having freed herself and begun escaping to find them in hot water in some manner or other. <_<

Qadira

4 people marked this as a favorite.

In the 3.5 days I was DMIng a campaign and we had a fighter/sorcerer who was building himself much the way a magus now is. He also spent skill points in performance: singing and profession:blacksmith. The party fAced a were-rat with pipes of the sewers and won, and said fighter decided to burn the pipes in a forge while he was working on his sword and singing. This was my first "you do what?" moment

I decided to play with the idea a bit as he was burning the musical magic item while working on his hereditary blade and introducing his own music, so when he learned to throw his sword to take out opponents, I said the whistling of the blade attracted rats and mice to the area. This was his "wait... What?!" moment.

He decided to burn this foul magic from the blade. Being a specialist in fire and lightning he prepped his spells, and then said "to burn the magic from the sword, I channel all my spells for the day thru it and plunge it into the ground."

I say "wait... What? Now? You know youre in the wild magic zone where arcane magic is unstable ,yes?"

Him "yup. I do it now."

So I let him burn the magic out. And then all the mice and rats in the forest became sentient and thought he was their creator god.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Mine goes to my wife and little brother from a few weeks ago. My little brother is playing a rogue who uses poisoins in a temple they came across a tree that appeared to be bleeding a few good rolls later they realized it was a potent con damage paralysis poison. (placed their as a bit of warning since the cultist are armed with a dose each.) The rogue attempts to harvest some and rolls a one and fails his fort save falling over. My wife RPing her curious catfolk proceeds to see what the sap taste like. Everyone stared at here and I asked "your going to do what?" "I said I taste the blood sap" "roll fort"

Qadira

3 people marked this as a favorite.

I'm necro-ing a thread, 'cause I think the board needs some laughs - and this thread is good for a few smiles at least.

and here's a funny "you do what?" story...

Party is getting badly beat up in a deaper darkness and four of us are in a cluster. One down (neg HP) with a cleric over him, another PC in front and my Arcane Trickster beside... the 4th square of the box has a Bad Guy in it.

Me: "I yell 'Down Elevator!' and cast create pit under us"
Judge & Players: "You do... what?"

Me: "Cast create pit, centered here" pointing at the center of the group of figures. "40' deap".

My companions didn't even blink, trusting me. It's was great!

Me: "When we fall out of the deaper darkness, I'll feather fall my friends and I, and watch the Bad Guy go on past." Roll dice. "He takes 17 HP from the fall".

Silver Crusade

Playing a scenario at a con with my level 3 inquisitor. I'm an archer, and just picked up the Rapid Shot feat and am seriously itching to use it. We are going through this fort and when we open one of the doors, it leads to a courtyard with a giant scorpion in it. We all freak out a bit, and that was before the fight started going badly.

None of us are doing any damage to this thing and our 2 melee combatants are grappled in its pincers and being squeezed. It comes to my turn, I declare a rapid shot, roll the dice and double nat 20 then confirm both crits. I roll my 8d6 damage, add the 24 or so static damage I get from two 3x cries, and do something like 48 damage, effectively 1-shotting the scorpion.


This is a slightly different interpretation of the "You do what?" question but:

A few weeks ago my buddies and I decided to do one shot. Long story short, one of the PCs was standing outside of the tavern he worked at when he interrupted a group of low-lifes trying to hassle a homeless man.

Zack: What does the area look like? What's around me?
GM: It's an ordinary storefront, large glass windows, with a few potted plants by the door.
Zack: Okay. My character picks up one of the potted plants and-

Then he gets up from the table.

Zack: I need to go to the bathroom.

So for about 6 minutes we were sitting around wondering what he was going to do with that potted plant. Granted, there are only so many things he would use it for in that situation, but it was an odd move getting up like that mid-action.


A 1e game, 1986. I was DMing a really large party who'd lost their supplies crossing a river. So they decided to go hunting for game to feed everyone. The rolls were against them and they only killed two rabbits.

One of the players says he'll take the entrails of the rabbits and put them on a hot rock in the sun "to attract more game". Think about that for a sec. The offal attracted vultures, which in turn got the attention of a band of very angry wemics (lion centaurs, for those who don't know) who'd been tracking the interloping party through their territory.

Suddenly: chaos.

Shadow Lodge

So... did they eat the wemics?


Orthos wrote:
So... did they eat the wemics?

ROFL

No, the wemics kicked their butts and drove them into a forest of very annoyed treants. Things only got worse for the players after that.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Star wars Saga edition. My twi'lek jedi is not a pilot at all, and yet we find ourselves piloting Z-95 ships against TIEs. After several demeaning rounds of getting locked down by competent pilots dogfighting us (which works like wrestling) and us missing every shot, I decide to try out the shields on my ship.

I plow into the poor little unshielded ship. I don't crit, but I easily do enough damage (to both of us) to smash the TIE fighter and its pilot to pieces. My ship is holding together by the seams, and the 40 damage I took was not really a problem.


We were fighting a 5-6 HD flying demon-thing that had DR 5/bludgeoning. Being a level 4 party, everyone scrambled to find some good blunt attacks to use on it, but the barbarian just had her greataxe. The fight went slowly.

Then, after raging and being Enlarged, the barbarian swung hard (Power Attack boosts, plus some sort of strength-boosting potion) and scored a crit. Working out the damage, adding up all the bonuses for bardic performance, weapon enhancements, buffs, etc....

Barbarian: "OK, I do 66 damage to it."
Everyone: "HOW much?"
Barbarian: "... but it's slashing."


3 people marked this as a favorite.

I have a penchant for playing hidden-identity characters; characters that are outlandish and bizarre in their(when acceptable for the setting) "true form," but as a player I take extra precaution so that this odd character can blend into normal society and not mess up normal gameplay.

Once, I was playing an Aasimar Inquisitor in a friend's Carrion Crown game. My Aasimar had a lot of the extra stuff from the Advanced Race Guide, but wore a long trench coat and wide-brimmed hat to hide his celestial qualities. The DM knew what all I had going on, but withheld some of the details from the other players.

We got into a fight with some baddies in book 4(no spoilers):

DM: Okay, Josh, what do you do?

Me: I drop my coat, unfurl my metal wings and fly upward.

Others: You... WHAT?

I got a kick out of it. :)


It's a great story Josh, 3 people already favorited it on this page. Make that 4. :)


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Maps, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

You know what they say, Abe, the first thing to go is the– uh... crap what was it again...?


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What was what again?

Cheliax

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3.5/beta pf runelords. Pally of tyranny. Used the exotic scythe from ebberon. Smiting 18 str 2d6 x4 weapon triple crited down in the wrath catacombs on the "boss" rolled boxcars and watched it explode in rd one. 12+6+4×6= 132dmg god it was sexy. Dm just looked at me and tossed his three pages of carefully boosted boss monster notes behind him snd slammed his head into the table.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Maps, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

As far as my contribution, one of my group's most memorable "you do what?!" events was near the start of our old Red Hand of Doom campaign.

The party had traveled to Skull Gorge to scout troop movements, and had not yet decided on whether to bring down the key bridge that would delay the hobgoblin horde by several days. While they were returning from scouting, however, an invisible green dragon took notice and attacked before they could cross back south across the bridge to safety.

Now back then, we had some rather unique characters in the party. Two standouts being a pixie warmage, and a minotaur ranger. Well, while covering our retreat, the poor pixie got swallowed whole by the dragon. Without air support, the rest of the party were sitting ducks in the center of the span — not to mention fretting over how to save the beloved pixie.

The "you do what?!" came when the minotaur scaled one of the support towers and readied an action to "do a Golden Axe" on the dragon's next pass (i.e. leap off, axe below him, and split it open).

I had already determined that it's next attack would have been to swoop between the towers and charge the cleric near the eastern railing. It's intention being to stay below ranged attacks and remove the healer so it could pick off the rest of us. When it saw the minotaur in position, its plan was only reinforced. Why engage a powerful combatant while the cleric escaped? The minotaur was in no position to take an AoO, and by sticking to it's original course of action, the party would be down a cleric and separated from a formidable ally.

So the dragon swoops by, ignoring the minotaur high above, never expecting him to be so foolish as to jump down nearly 20-feet. Well wouldn't you know it, but not only did the minotaur nail his skill checks to stick the landing, but he also confirmed a 20×3 critical with a two-handed axe — total damage was enough to one-shot the smallish dragon mid-air!

After calculating the dragon's trajectory, it turned out that it would have crashed right into the weak-spot defined in the adventure, and I saw no need to fudge it. As a result, that early encounter ended with the minotaur splitting open a dragon, freeing the pixie, and then surfing the dead foe into the canyon wall. The impact was sufficient to collapse the weaked tower above, and as the rest of the party hightailed it off the crumbling bridge, a timely Feather Fall saved the brash minotaur from getting pulverized in a rain of stonework.

Not only that, but when the townsfolk were supposed to have asked if it was really necessary to destroy such an important structure, the heroes could honestly say that it had not been their intent. They got to reap the benefits of the army being delayed without incurring the ire of those who depended upon the bridge.

My players still talk about that scene to this day! :D


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Situation One: The GM has ruled based on some FAQ that blind creatures can't be flanked. Two weeks later my poor rogue gets flanked by two much better rogues.

Me: I close my eyes!

GM: Why? Ok... now you are both blind AND flanked.

Me: No, only blind. And since I have Uncanny Dodge and Blind Fighting I should be just fine against these attackers I can't see who can't get sneak attack since I still have my Dex bonus AND you ruled blind creatures can't be flanked.

GM: Grrrrr...

Situation Two: While exploring the ruined tower of a long gone Epic Sorcerer we happen across an old weapon locker with a rotted set of epic arrows. The GM stated the arrows are too rotted to use, so I ask if after we get back to town if I can have them restored to their former stats at the weapon crafter we use. The GM says yes and gives me a price... but says restoring arrows of greater human slaying would be evil. I remind him I am an elf so that isn't true and he relents. Two months later he forgot about my special black fletched arrows and sent an elite solo assassin after us... he was human. I finished him with one shot when he couldn't make the epic level save or die effect.

Situation Three: Much like situation two. I looted a sun lamp from the arboretum of an ancient fortress. The description of the lamp says it channels natural sunlight through a diamond to provide a perfect 120 foot radius area to grow plants in.

GM: The three merchants your group were locked in with bare their fangs and attack the fighter!

Mage: Lore check! Rolls his d20.

GM: They are vampires! Ha Ha Ha!

Me: I uncover my arboretum lamp!

GM: What? Why? Ok... now it it much brighter in here.

Me: Don't the vampires burst into flames or something?

GM: What?! Let me see that lamp again...

GM: Reads then, {grumbles} Fine. They die burned to death by your plant light... I am never sending vampires at you guys again.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Laithoron wrote:

So the dragon swoops by, ignoring the minotaur high above, never expecting him to be so foolish as to jump down nearly 20-feet. Well wouldn't you know it, but not only did the minotaur nail his skill checks to stick the landing, but he also confirmed a 20×3 critical with a two-handed axe — total damage was enough to one-shot the smallish dragon mid-air!

After calculating the dragon's trajectory, it turned out that it would have crashed right into the weak-spot defined in the adventure, and I saw no need to fudge it. As a result, that early encounter ended with the minotaur splitting open a dragon, freeing the pixie, and then surfing the dead foe into the canyon wall.

{indignantly} That still only counts as one!


Mythic Evil Lincoln wrote:
It's a great story Josh, 3 people already favorited it on this page. Make that 4. :)

Holy hell, I didn't realize this thread was that old. I feel like a dunce. *shakes head* On the same page, no less.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Well my two classics.

First or second level, dealing with four bandits.

Me: casts dancing lights "See those little balls of fire? Any of you so much as raise a club, they explode."

GM: But it's dancing lights.

Me: Do they have spellcraft?

GM: Mutters "Make your bluff check."

Unintentionally screwing up faction missions for fun and profit.

In the sewers, the (I think) Scarzini faction mission is to deal with these guys. None of the PCs have face skills and aren't willing to ask for help. So we're bogged down.

Ksenia: (my witch) "Bored now." slumber.

Players: wait, what?"

Oh one I forgot. Rey, my sorcerer, is involved in a season 0 scenario, battle against the BBEG and goblins. About 200' away. Rest of the party goes into combat.

Round 1: I pop him in the face with snapdragon fireworks.
Round 2: Start spamming sleep
Round 3 my party gets into melee, I'm still 200' away.
ME: I cast [/i]sleep[/i] again.
GM: You know you'll catch your party members too.
Me: And we're all half elves.
GM: What?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Well, here's a case of something I didn't do really. So we were all walking along after a teleport mishap and some failed survival checks but we finally found the city we were looking for. Suddenly the GM shouts to roll a reflex save! Everyone fails to get over 15(I rolled a nat 1).

GM: You all fall-
Me: I don't!
GM: What?
Me: I fly.

He gave me this really look sheet as I handed him my character sheet and pointed to overland flight. Just hit 9th level... He was pretty vindictive about that after, but it was totally worth it.

Andoran

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber

My DM "Wait... what?" Moment:

I was running a Dungeon adventure involving a group of vampires in a noble's villa. The adventureback presented rules for stakingretooling vamps. The group had long ago agreed on called shot rules. The party monk throws three stakes, aiming for the hearts of the last three vamps. Even after factoring nonproficiency and called shots, his three nat 20's are sufficident. I stop for a good minute, trying to salavge the situation and then just walk away from thr table.

Others' moments:

I was playing a mid level rogue in a group chasing some baddies when the local LEO's show up, whistles blasting.

Me: What do you think you're doing, grunt?!?!
LEO: Excuse me???
Me. You're interferring with my assignment! Who's you superior?
LEO: Sergent...
Me: To low, who's his boss?
LEO: Lord...
Me. Now we're getting somewhere. Do you want my boss to have a chat with him about your involvement in this fiasco? ::Buff check in excess of 30::
LEO: No...
Me. Then I suggest to march that way :away from us:: and forget this conversation ever happened!
LEO; Time to move out!

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