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Things you don't want to (but often do) hear the Dungeon Master say:


Gamer Talk

101 to 150 of 170 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | next > last >>

xanthemann wrote:
150. Your characters wake up and realize it was all a dream.

... Including that staff of the Magi and holy avenger you found.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
xanthemann wrote:
150. Your characters wake up and realize it was all a dream.
... Including that staff of the Magi and holy avenger you found.

...along with your quaint little New England country inn.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Nazard wrote:
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
xanthemann wrote:
150. Your characters wake up and realize it was all a dream.
... Including that staff of the Magi and holy avenger you found.
...along with your quaint little New England country inn.

...along with all of Season 9.

Qadira

151) "Thisis Jim, he's a friend of mine and he will be joining us today. He is a lot of fun, and it's been too long since your party had a necromancer!"


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

152) Critical hit confirmed! Damage is... oh, wait, ogre hooks are times three? Huh. This is gonna hurt...

[Note: Said by me last night!]


Man, I nearly scored a crit on a PC a couple weeks ago with an ogre hook. As it was, he hit negatives and nearly died. A critical would've been an instant-kill.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Man, I nearly scored a crit on a PC a couple weeks ago with an ogre hook. As it was, he hit negatives and nearly died. A critical would've been an instant-kill.

It was an insta-kill.

spoiler for Rise of the Runelords:
Yeah, the monster that hit was Jaagrath Kreeg, chief ogre of the Kregg Clan ogres, in Hook Mountain Massacre. He actually hit an NPC-- the traitor Kaven Windstrike, whom the party never learned was a traitor. The hit did 75 hp damage-- and Kaven only has 49 hp max! Actually, all of the named ogres in that module have Improved Critical- Ogre Hook, so they threaten a crit 10% of the time!

Andoran

5 people marked this as a favorite.

153. "I'd like to apologize in advance for this session. I actually feel bad about doing this to you guys."

Or at least it seemed to freak my players out...

Qadira

154. "Your CMD is what now? *giggles at response*"


154. Hey, how many huge dragon figs do you have?


2 people marked this as a favorite.

156. "Soooo... for no particular reason, which hand, specifically, are you using to <insert task here>?"


Oops. I figured our group could handle this campaign even though it is made for groups a few levels higher.


Are there achievement feats for large numbers of PC kills by the GM?


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

159. And once again it's time for a roll on the random enemy encounter chart!

160. I'm sorry, lesser restoration has a 3 round casting time. now how much con did you say you had left?

161. I didn't say there WEREN'T any traps, I said you didn't FIND anything with your perception roll.

162. Most curses can't be dispelled.


163. Can I see you're character sheet?.... Interesting.... here you go.

Cheliax

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Tales Subscriber

Wait...how much by how much is collossal again.


Have the fighter make a Will save.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Pyrrhic Victory wrote:
Wait...how much by how much is collossal again.

Also, do you recall which pages have the falling object rules on them?


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Pawns Subscriber

(Just before rolling damage)

164. Aw, man! I really LIKED that character!

(After I nearly TPK'ed my favorite group of PCs in years with a bunch of goblin dogs. Embarrassing.)

Taldor

165) I haven't read the mod but I'll just wing it.

166) ...and then it rends.

167) Oh the giant confirmed the crit, is a huge heavy pick still a x4 crit modifier?

168) Oh this ability is so awesome...

169) So the one door you forgot to check for traps... (grabs handfuls of dice) (actually happened)

170) 2....does a 43 hit? (actually happened at level 2)

Taldor

Oh duh....

171) Roll me a [Insert your worst save modifier] save, DC.... 32....


172) You better hope you roll a 20 on this save.

173) I love this part.

174) How much does you character weigh with all his equipment?

175) Who is at the back of the line?


176) Sooooo, no one in the party has trap sense do they?


From the game I'm playing in tonight:

177) (Rolls dice) YES!


178) This module is for characters of 8th level, but I am sure you all can handle it. I know you're only 4th.
This happened yesterday on the Isle of Terror campaign.


So, what is the CR rating of 4 CR 20 creatures?

Taldor

Anyone remember the page that the Objects Falling on top of you damage table is on?

So nobody has darkvision?

So natural 20 on your Will save to see through the illusion... hmmm... well its not an illusion... give me a Reflex save now...


1 person marked this as a favorite.

179 You're doing what?

Always bad to hear.

Osirion

The line I use that freaks my players out?

180) Oh, you guys are injured? Oh, go ahead and heal yourselves up to full. Oh, and reprepare your spells, too.

Nothing scares a party like the DM essentially telling them "I'm pretty sure you guys will die if I don't help you out". Glad I did.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Rev Rosey wrote:

179 You're doing what?

Always bad to hear.

"Are you really sure you want to do that?"


Dreaming Psion wrote:


"Are you really sure you want to do that?"

Generally, this is a phrase you want to hear. Games where this spoken to the PC's probably have fewer PC deaths than games where this is not spoken to them. =P


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Dal Selpher wrote:
Dreaming Psion wrote:


"Are you really sure you want to do that?"
Generally, this is a phrase you want to hear. Games where this spoken to the PC's probably have fewer PC deaths than games where this is not spoken to them. =P

DM: "Are you really sure you want to do that?"

Translation: "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!"


3 people marked this as a favorite.

181) DM asked, "Wait let me get this straight. Your character is really saying that? Out loud?"


In my opinion the worst thing to hear a DM say, from personal experience (once in a game I was in, once in a game I was running)

182) *rolls random encounter dice* *consults notes for a few long seconds* "You notice nothing."


Awesome.
Thread.

183) "...and the entire tunnel bursts into flames. Reflex saves, folks. And Bob, are you still wearing that Necklace of Fireballs..?"


184) "Oops ! I misread: it's not a pig which attacks you - it's a DIRE BOAR !"

184) "It looks like a lobster. Except it's a HUGE lobster".

185) "Who is standing watch at this moment of the night ?"

185) "Where precisely did you put the innocuous-looking ring ?"

186) "Man ! I need to check the rules about scrolls' misreads !"

187) [in an annoyed tone] "Now, how did you that ? I need to read your character sheet again."

188) "You're really good at Acrobatics for a 3dr level rogue, aren't you ? Okay, the DC for this Acrobatics check is... 35."

189) "Well, of course, you can shop at the magic shop [...] Yes, equipping oneself with magic items is an essential part of the game's balance[...]No, I'd rather much we actually play through the scene where you go shopping to the magic shop."

190) [after a party's close brush with death] "I feel like you breezed through combat. I'm thinking the [insert character class here] is perhaps overpowered..."


Well, not all the following words were adressed to the players, but they did take place during a RPG session, so...:

191) [at the telephone] "Look, honey, I'm in the middle of a game with the guys just right now... Of course, I love you !"

192) [at the telephone] "It's a religious celebration they have in Portugal ? And you've been drinking since this morning ?!... Yeah, to celebrate, of course !... It's 10 pm just right now... No, honey, I really don't know the way to your hostel's bedroom: I'm mastering Pathfinder just right now, and I'm not even in the same country as you !..."
[to the players]"Time stop ! I really need a smoke !"

All these quotes are true, I swear !


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

193) "The evil cleric casts stabilize on the downed bard before moving to into melee with the only PC still standing, your battered and bleeding sorcerer."

Said this a few nights ago. That's when I discovered my players have more of a fear of what my monsters will do with them if the survive than if they die.


193) "If you couldn't be bothered to write down the King's name, it's no wonder that your character doesn't remember it [...] No, I'm not sure that being in the King's presence to plead for your life can jog your memory."


194) "I think that the party has too much gold for its level..."


195) [flipping through a rules supplement] "This magic item you just found is totally overpowered ! Who wrote this tripe !?"


Quiche Lisp wrote:
188) "You're really good at Acrobatics for a 3dr level rogue, aren't you ? Okay, the DC for this Acrobatics check is... 35."

/rant

This annoys the crap out of me. If I go to that much effort to be good at something don't diminish it. /end rant

Quiche Lisp wrote:

189) "Well, of course, you can shop at the magic shop [...] Yes, equipping oneself with magic items is an essential part of the game's balance[...]No, I'd rather much we actually play through the scene where you go shopping to the magic shop."

Once or twice is fine to roleplay, but seriously after a few times just let me know if what I want is available or not.


196) "Ho, I remember: this magic item is not in the rulebook ! I just took a base magic item and I cleverly tweaked it ! Pathfinder is easily tweaked by an experienced GM !"


195) "I'm glad you enjoyed the session [...] No, actually, you didn't begin to play this chapter of the AP as written. I added to it !"


196) "It's a side quest I included in the AP. Otherwise, the plotline would have been too simple."


197) "This guy you're facing in the King's court is a bard. Let's begin the fight of wits and words ! [...] Ho, [the bard's player] couldn't make it for this game session ? Bummer !"


198) "The Queen's personal advisor looks at you like you were a stain on the palace's carpet. No, the fact that you're powerful and beloved heroes of the kingdom does not seem to register with him."


199) [enthusiastically] "Hey, I devised an alternate system for hit points ! I think it's pretty solid. We'll see during play ! Pathfinder is easily customizable by an experienced GM !"

Taldor

200) How many squares by how many squares is Collassal?

201) Are you sure you want to do that?

202) DM: So this is the last encounter of the AP, so the gloves come off... Players (looking at each other): Gloves?!

203) So there are special rules for this encounter....


204) "I really like Pathfinder... but the magic system is in obvious need of a complete overhaul ! I don't think the changes I made will impact too much the rest of the game: after all, I'm a fairly experienced GM !"

205) "That's a brilliant idea... but remember that Chelaxians are very tricky !"

206) "I know your character is supposed to be able to do that...but I don't think that's very realistic !"

207) [slightly exagerated]"You can't do that with a real sword ! In the real world, medieval swords used to weigh... like... 50 lbs ! Let's try to be realistic there, guys !"

208) "You can't do that with a real full-plate armor ! Around 900 A.D real full-plates used to weigh... like 300 lbs ! Let's try to be realistic there, man !"

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