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# Let's Play Calvinball!!

### Forum Games

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Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Legends Subscriber; Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

C&@%. Instead of gaining 3.1415926535897932384626433832795048841971693993751058209749445923078164062 862089986280348253421170679 points, I lose 1.732 points.

Technical foul! Overly-precise calculation. Calvinball only uses three significant figures.

Other side takes possession of the rubber chicken.

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Legends Subscriber; Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

Gang Tackle the posessor of the Rubber Chicken for 3 points.

The bowler winds up and hurls the rubber chicken toward fifth base, the racketeer swings, but only clips its wing.

FOWL BALL!

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

2 Pi are squared in this conversation, everyone drink!

...this isnt Koolaid...

SPIT TAKE! pfffffffffffffffffffffffff!!!!

All those who spit out perfectly good "Koolaid" lose two horseshoes and go directly to jail (do not pass Go, do not collect \$200).

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Legends Subscriber; Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

The next three people who roll a 7 on 2d6 draw a chance card and do as it says.
No cheating.

2d6 ⇒ (3, 5) = 8

Change shape lets me sub in better dice.

2d10 ⇒ (7, 1) = 8

Darn!

Oh well. JAILBREAK TIME! Who's with me?!

2d4 ⇒ (3, 1) = 4

SILENCE BREAKER! Everybody conga line!

Sorry, I called a tempory halt to all fun due to excessive heat. Everyone may now play again.

I play the six of hearts on a triple letter square, then draw from the Chance deck. It reads, "Right Hand Blue."

You sank my battleship!

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Legends Subscriber; Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

I gallop across the field of honor on my little pony for the score. 8 Points.

The wiffle-ball is now the only ball that can score.

I wiffle a bowling ball with a 12-gauge. This allows me to make a 3-point basket, followed up by a 2-point conversion. GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!

No Side, godshrammit!

Shramm THIIIIIIS!

Punts for a dangly.

HUZZAH!

The crowd goes wild!

Gene Wilder Meme says something snarky!!!!!!!

And,......victory is mine.....

Spanky's last goal is disallowed for using an unknown substance on his ball.
I say unknown, but we all know where he got it.

I claim the role of Butler! 51 points!

As My first act as Butler, I do It! 1000 points!

You can't fire me, I quit! TRIPLE ENTENTE SCORE!

I play my Chance card! LUXURY TAX! Everybody hand over 15% of your points!

Wait! I know who did it!

It was Lord Licorice with top hat on the battleship!

BINGO!

Duck...
Duck...
GOOSE!

The loose goose's goose is cooked.

[Whistle]

Half time!

Air guitar solo!

[Rocks out]

HALF-TIME SHOW!

THE P-FLUMPH MOTHERSHIP LANDS IN THE FIELD!!!

THINGZ BE GETTIN' FLUMPHY!

LETS ROCK!

 1 person marked this as a favorite.

"I don't understand. Who's winning?"

"No one - they've all lost it!"

Well, obviously, but how do you get points?

There is no point.

I think I get the point now - so I WIN!"

"D'OHHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!"

I bounce a softball off the Balcony-Seat Hecklers' heads. Two Points!

Reconvening off-sides allows the Away team to score one Connect Four and one palabrajot!

I'll trade all of my points for what's behind Door Number Two.

Behind Door Two is... A HUNGRY JABBERWOCK! All players must gallumph for the next kumquat turns!

I'm turning the crank...which makes the boot-on-a-stick kick the bucket...which releases the ball with the peyote-fed guinea pig inside...which -

...rolls straight down the alley, dropping four wickets! Spare!

**gallumph**

I eat the kumquat as a snicker-snack.

[Total aside-- in the early '80s, I remember an ad in Dragon magazine for an electronic dice roller. The ad copy read, "Does your vorpal blade go 'snicker-snack'? Or does it just snicker?"

That line still makes me chuckle.

Okay, back to Calvinball!]

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Legends Subscriber; Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

I hit the ball with the halibut into the goal. 5 points and a free shot when the next fish enters the field of honor.

People playing "skins" get sunburnt, lose a turn in Molasses Swamp.

Mumbelty-PEG!

If you have this you score 10 bajillion points!

In the end, I win (unless it is Bill and Ted...Melvined *shudder*)

I call a time out because I have to go to the bathroom.

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Legends Subscriber; Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

No time outs. You must put in a substitute.

I'll substitute. I've been sitting in the margarines long enough. Next butter.

BUTTER UP!

O, Leos get a free shot at the goal.

You have to barrel roll through all the arches to properly complete the course.

*pulls out a lobster*

Where'd all the butter go. I can't eat this now. Lobs a throwster into the goal for 2 pints.

This barrel roll otta be a cake walk, or stumble depending on how the reflex save rolls.

1d20 ⇒ 9 Ok, so walking works

1d20 ⇒ 12 Is that what an Archie's?

1d20 ⇒ 3 4131

Technical foul! You pulled an Immelmann rather than a barrel roll, but the judges award plus ten points for creativity!

While popping a wheelie on my Vespa, I smack the puck with a polo mallet toward my opponent's wicket.

For making 3.14159(etc.) consecutive Pi references in what is now the Robo-Zone, I have been summoned onto the Chrome Pillar pi months later, with a 1-month early bonus for holding a green ballpoint pen!

All players must now tapioca their scores and take a sideways hike! Meanwhile, I summon a flock of 72 crows, cursing everyone who's level isn't a multiple of 9!

XWQ-05 to Ball volley #@\$!

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Robozone technical! no tigers on the field, everyone take 3 steps back and you must roll doubles on 3 dice to continue.

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