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Things you don't want to hear the party necromancer say.


Gamer Talk

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14 people marked this as a favorite.

1. "If you lose any limbs in the upcoming battle, don't fear. Your unfortunate dismemberment will not be in vain."

2. In response to, "Is anyone missing any body parts?", the necromancer says, "I have more than I started with!"

The Exchange

3. "Need a hand?"
4. "An Eye for an Eye, if you know what I mean."

The Exchange

11 people marked this as a favorite.

5. In response to, "I can't feel my legs.", the necromancer says, "I can."

Grand Lodge

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

6. "Hmm. One wight too many."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

7. "Waste not want not".


9 people marked this as a favorite.

8. Hmm, the king wants us to attend a royalball. Guess i have to go dig up a date.


9. "Go Egor! Bring me a pillow!"


21 people marked this as a favorite.

10. "If you see anyone with torches and pitchforks, I was never here."

Star Voter 2015

3 people marked this as a favorite.

11. "What I do isn't evil...*rambling philosophical monologue or angst*"

Liberty's Edge

7 people marked this as a favorite.

"What we have here...is a failure to ressuciate".

Scarab Sages

5 people marked this as a favorite.

13. Did I ever tell you how I met your mom.


7 people marked this as a favorite.

14. "I don't know why you're complaining. He's just as articulate as he ever was, and a lot more agreeable this way to boot."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

See? You don't have to be breathing to contribute. Reduce, re-use, recycle!


8 people marked this as a favorite.

16. "Oops."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

16. "Good boy, good boy... Fetch! No! Bad doggie! Bad!"

Silver Crusade

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Deluxe Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game Subscriber

18) "Animate's just as good, right?"

Lantern Lodge Dedicated Voter 2013, Star Voter 2014

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

18. That's a nice head on your shoulders. May I borrow it?
19. It's 'Frahn-ken-steen'.
20. ...and the hip bone is connected to the thigh bone...

Silver Crusade

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting Subscriber

22. Are you going to eat that?


3 people marked this as a favorite.

21. I'm not doing this pro-bono...


1 person marked this as a favorite.

23. "Who wants to live forever?"


1 person marked this as a favorite.

24. You have exquisite bone structure


25. "Die"


11 people marked this as a favorite.

26. Our cleric friend has run out of spells but worry not. I shall get you on your feet again.


26a. Or perhaps his feet. We was quite a fleet fellow before you cut him down.

Shadow Lodge Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

1 person marked this as a favorite.

27. "I can fix it."


2 people marked this as a favorite.

"Oh... I didn't expect THAT to... nevermind, it shouldn't cause any SERIOUS problems."


10 people marked this as a favorite.

29. RUN NOW, TALK LATER!
30. Do You remember when you said you didn't think I could control that many? Well...
31. Need someone to spar with?


3 people marked this as a favorite.

32. {Gestures to undead servant} "This is Chumley. He's been in my family for... AGES."

One of the options discussed (and rejected) in my upcoming Kingmaker campaign was a necromancer, with a skeleton as his familiar. This line came up.


33. "Wow, control undead is a seventh level spell? Dang."
34. "So, turns out these undead I'm supposed to control are flesh golems."

(I laughed out loud at #30. Then I decided to rip it off, apparently.)


35. We can clean it up, we only need a ghoul.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

36. "It's my time to cook again?"


6 people marked this as a favorite.

37. "OOOOOOOOOO a sale on black onyx gems!"


6 people marked this as a favorite.

38. "Oh goodie, the only ingredient left to collect for the create litch potion is the still beating heart of a good aligned human... did I say that out loud?"

39. "I'm sure it's just a rash and has nothing to do with that mummy I created"

40. "I'm telling you these nuggets are not made of chicken..."

41. "dead wenches never say no"

42. "The girls I date moan rather often"

43. "I cant go because I've got a date tonight... oh and can I borrow your shovel?"

44. "they were dead when I found them... now not so much"


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

This is a great thread! Thanks for starting it! :-)

Dark Archive Star Voter 2013

5 people marked this as a favorite.

45- "...those aren't my zombies"
46- "no, no one stole the roast chicken it walked away"..."yes i had something to do with it"
47-"oh i see what i did, its an intelligent undead"
48-"so you didn't feel a sudden chill? alright better look else where i guess"
49-"i have a perfect way for you to lose weight"


50. I just found the birthing chambers! (In a city)


4 people marked this as a favorite.

51. Welcome back!

Shadow Lodge Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

1 person marked this as a favorite.

52. "When the archon [or other goodly critter of your choice] shows up, I was here the whole time."


Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Tales Subscriber

53: 'If you could be any type of undead...what type would you pick? And it can't be vampires...everybody picks that type.'

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

19 people marked this as a favorite.

54. My god, this is a boring funeral.

The Exchange Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014, Star Voter 2015

1 person marked this as a favorite.

55. "The cleric's down. Here, let me help."


2 people marked this as a favorite.

56. Who wants baby back ribs?

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

3 people marked this as a favorite.

57. So you're saying when they pay us by head, the heads still have to be attached to a neck?

Silver Crusade Star Voter 2013

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

57. "Wait, vampires aren't supposed to sparkle?"

The Exchange

2 people marked this as a favorite.

58. Aw, man. They cremate here.
59. Send the fighter in first, there won't be any traps. Hehe.
60. In response to "I can't breath." The necromancers says "Just a little more time... Come on..."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

61. I don't care if the lord wants his stuffed dodo back, it's walking around and sentient now. He can't have it.
62. Now if I put the fireball here then I'll hit Fredrick (skeletal frilled lizard) but if I put it over there, then I just hit the druid. None of you liked him either, right?


>staring glassy-eyed at horde of obnoxious amphibians<

"I SWEAR, it was a scroll for possession at half-price: magic jar jar..."


62. Don't worry, I have a plan.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

63. Necro. "I call dibs on their arms."
Fighter "But you don't know how to use a greatsword."
Necro. "I'm not talking about their weapons.'

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