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Even more craziness from Florida....


Off-Topic Discussions

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..or "How I learned how to stop worrying and love the zombie apocalypse."


3 people marked this as a favorite.

I said it before, and I'll say it again.
I always knew patient zero would show up in Miami.

Cmon, Texas. Saddle up. We gotta stop them at the Mississip.


I have been to Miami once and elsewhere in Florida several times. Never have I had an unpleasant experience there. However, in the last few decades I have read many things about events down there that make me want to ask something with all seriousness.

What the $%^&%^* is wrong with people down there?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Bill Lumberg wrote:

I have been to Miami once and elsewhere in Florida several times. Never have I had an unpleasant experience there. However, in the last few decades I have read many things about events down there that make me want to ask something with all seriousness.

What the $%^&%^* is wrong with people down there?

If I had to say, it's probably the T-Virus.


Hospitalized "victim" bites a nurse ...

... and it begins!

Osirion

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

I just like to state, for the record, that the individual is in know way affiliated with the Horde.


Zeetle Wyrp wrote:

Hospitalized "victim" bites a nurse ...

... and it begins!

I've already told my friends and family that if this comes up, even in an unrelated set of events, I'm packing my crap and GTFO of populated areas.

Probably gonna head north, into places where it gets colder; Winter will make a great passive defense.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Hah, ya'll been busy arguing 'bouts Arizona and North Carolina and California and Texas and even Wisconsin going crazy... ya'll took ya'll's eye off the ball.

We're all crazy down here in FL.

And when ya'll's tourists and snowbirds visit, it only takes a few nibbles and they're carriers now too... carriers that return North and spread the contagion.

Ya'll been worried about some Hollyweird zombie invaders, but ya missed the one's in ya Southern backyard. "They're here already! You're next! You're next, You're next...!"

Andoran

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Florida... Why is it always Florida?

Qadira

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Florida... Why is it always Florida?

Not always however I refuse to post a link to the story from California from a couple of years ago.

Qadira

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Florida... Why is it always Florida?

Florida: America's insane asylum.

I saw this story earlier today and commented to a friend: "This is the sort of story that should only come up as the introduction to a Call of Cthulhu adventure."


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Shadowborn wrote:
Florida: America's insane wang.

Fixt.


Well, sounds to me like we should all be grateful it's happening in a state that's easy to wall off, if need be.

It would also be a good premise for a zombie RPG setting...

Shadow Lodge

Foghammer wrote:
Probably gonna head north, into places where it gets colder; Winter will make a great passive defense.

Until late Dec this year whan the poles change . . .


meatrace wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Florida: America's insane wang.
Fixt.

Well done, good sir. Well done.

Andoran

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber
Foghammer wrote:

I've already told my friends and family that if this comes up, even in an unrelated set of events, I'm packing my crap and GTFO of populated areas.

Probably gonna head north, into places where it gets colder; Winter will make a great passive defense.

You are #4 and #3. :)

Shadow Lodge

TriOmegaZero wrote:
Foghammer wrote:

I've already told my friends and family that if this comes up, even in an unrelated set of events, I'm packing my crap and GTFO of populated areas.

Probably gonna head north, into places where it gets colder; Winter will make a great passive defense.

You are #4 and #3. :)

Gridlock isn't an issue if you can ATV. When/if it comes down to that, screw roads.

Shadow Lodge

If.

Shadow Lodge

So obviously anyone who wants to make appropriate preparations needs to be sure they have an offroad-capable vehicle. Problem solved.

Andoran

Orthos wrote:
Gridlock isn't an issue if you can ATV. When/if it comes down to that, screw roads.

Linked for you.

Andoran

meatrace wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Florida: America's insane wang.
Fixt.

Linked.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Good thing the Floridians don't rally around their state the way the Texans do... this thread would be a war zone in no time flat.

Shadow Lodge

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Gridlock isn't an issue if you can ATV. When/if it comes down to that, screw roads.
Linked for you.

Dang me being at work and not able to check this out! =P

Andoran

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

Silly Kirth, Floridians can't type!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Reading the story, what I want to know is, how come the victim was naked, too?

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Question not. That way leads madness.

Qadira

Kirth Gersen wrote:
Reading the story, what I want to know is, how come the victim was naked, too?

Apparently the assailant was on some new designer drug. One of the side effects, aside from b&~+#%& crazy, is a rise in body temperature, so users will strip off their clothes to cool off.

As for the victim? Maybe he was on the drug too? Or maybe his assailant had planned to eat all of him and the clothes were in the way.


Kirth Gersen wrote:
Good thing the Floridians don't rally around their state the way the Texans do... this thread would be a war zone in no time flat.

Florida has been my #2 state to hate for a long time now. And people DO defend it. Including my mom, who professes a love for the natural beauty of the everglades. But honestly? The place is a s$~!hole.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Yes, yes, gather your hate... let it flow throw you and into the keyboard! The other 49 will be jealous we have collected all your hate!

{suddenly remembers she's not supposed to know how to type}


1 person marked this as a favorite.

POWER SOURCE: HATRED

FUEL CELLS AT 73% AND CHARGING


Mecharagezilla wrote:

POWER SOURCE: HATRED

FUEL CELLS AT 73% AND CHARGING

...

Indiana

*KABOOOOOOOOOOM*


I'd like to know if the victim was tied up. If not, what could possibly keep him/her distracted enough not to realize that somebody was chewing on their face for 18 minutes.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Obvious answer: both of them were tripping on this spectacularly nasty version of LSD. The one being omonomnom'd was probably in a drug induced coma ... at least, that's my guess until further facts are released.

If further facts are not released, be afraid, and welcome the zombie overlords.

T-virus + LSD = messed up situation, no? :)


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Kirth Gersen wrote:
Reading the story, what I want to know is, how come the victim was naked, too?

Same reason we don't eat the hair on a cow.


Yup, definitely the Zombie Apocalypse.


Did you all see the thread I created about the mother that ate her three week old baby?

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Kirth Gersen wrote:
Good thing the Floridians don't rally around their state the way the Texans do... this thread would be a war zone in no time flat.

My dad likes it, but then he confines himself to his "New Florida" enclaves and pretends the rest doesn't exist...

Osirion

So was it bath salts, LSD, or coke?

Osirion

Shadowborn wrote:
As for the victim? Maybe he was on the drug too? Or maybe his assailant had planned to eat all of him and the clothes were in the way.

The victim was a homeless guy that was dragged from under the overpass, beaten unconscious, then stripped and eaten.


Darkwing Duck wrote:
Did you all see the thread I created about the mother that ate her three week old baby?

No. Was it posted in the cuisine section?


More Fla craziness

My guess is that it's less like a T-virus or the asteroid fallout of the Romero movies and more like the rage virus from 28 days later.


Shadowborn wrote:
Kirth Gersen wrote:
Reading the story, what I want to know is, how come the victim was naked, too?

Apparently the assailant was on some new designer drug. One of the side effects, aside from b%&*$&# crazy, is a rise in body temperature, so users will strip off their clothes to cool off.

As for the victim? Maybe he was on the drug too? Or maybe his assailant had planned to eat all of him and the clothes were in the way.

that sounds like crack, actually.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

They used to play a game on LoveLine called Germany or Florida. Someone would call in with some just unbelievably bizarre story and it would always be from either Germany or Florida.


meatrace wrote:
They used to play a game on LoveLine called Germany or Florida. Someone would call in with some just unbelievably bizarre story and it would always be from either Germany or Florida.

Mrs Gersen and I were watching a movie about the Baader-Meinhof gang. One scene is at a beach, and everyone is naked. Wifey looks all agog.

I explain, "they're in Germany, remember? To them, wearing a bathing suit is unbelievably bizarre."
And she replies, "Oh, for a second I thought it was 'cause this takes place in the late '60s."


That movie was awesome!!


Darkwing Duck wrote:
Did you all see the thread I created about the mother that ate her three week old baby?

My friend and I were spending an evening watching police brutality videos and then something really disgusting popped up on the screen and that's where I found about the Florida zombie attack and that woman eating her baby 'cos Satan told her to.

I told my friend to get back to the police brutality videos quick.

[Shudders]


Turin the Mad wrote:

Obvious answer: both of them were tripping on this spectacularly nasty version of LSD. The one being omonomnom'd was probably in a drug induced coma ... at least, that's my guess until further facts are released.

If further facts are not released, be afraid, and welcome the zombie overlords.

T-virus + LSD = messed up situation, no? :)

I thought I had read somewhere that the chewed upon was homeless. Which, I guess, doesn't mean he wasn't tripping his balls off, too.

The other thing I thought of was maybe he was walking along trying to ignore the naked cannibal, which turned out to be the wrong move. People in big cities sometimes can ignore a lot of crazy shiznit.


Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
That movie was awesome!!

Sort of figured you might have appreciated it... (full response maybe belongs better in the Socialist thread) * spoiler omitted *


If you hate politics and are just trying to enjoy a silly, harmless thread about people eating off other people's faces, don't look at Kirth's above post!


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
If you hate politics and are just trying to enjoy a silly, harmless thread about people eating off other people's faces, don't look at Kirth's above post!

Hey, man, I like, spoilered it and everything. But fine, have it your way.

Spoiler:
This is censorship, I tell you!
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