The Official JMD031 Rant Thread


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CLEAN UP, AISLE 3!!

Sczarni

I'mma comin', I'mma comin', hold yer horses whippersnappers.

*mop mop mop*


Oh man I think it got on my suit.


So, yeah...I didn't get to the rant. But rest assured I have one rolling around in my head as I type. I'm sure some of you could say, "well just type it out!", but alas, I have to go to work.


The Mad Badger wrote:
Oh man I think it got on my suit.

Shouldn't have stepped in the Almighty Janitor's work.

Sczarni

Turin the Mad wrote:
The Mad Badger wrote:
Oh man I think it got on my suit.
Shouldn't have stepped in the Almighty Janitor's work.

Ayup.


What the (expletive deleted) is this (expletive deleted)? No new posts since Friday? This makes me a sad ranter. :(


Oh, I've got one coming. It's simmering along nicely ...


Welcome back fellow rant fans. This Rant is about…drafts? Wait…is this yet another Leafar induced topic? Well (expletive deleted) that guy, I’m sick of ranting about him. Seriously, he’s not even worth yet another (expletive deleted) rant. I guess I really hated that (expletive deleted) guy because seriously, this is some (expletive deleted) up (expletive deleted) right here. So what am I going to rant about? I don’t know, I guess drafts. Like the ones the military used to do, except they haven’t had one of those in (expletive deleted) forever. I guess I could rant about having a drafty house, but that just sounds (expletive deleted) boring. (Expletive deleted) I hate Leafar. He doesn’t even post anymore and he’s still ruining perfectly good rants of mine. (Expletive deleted)! Ok, I think I can still salvage this one. It shouldn’t be too hard to think of something to rant about that isn’t Leafar, right? (Expletive deleted) there I go again with the stupid rhetorical questions. Like one of you reading this is going to be all like, “Yeah that Leafar guy (expletive deleted) sucks” or “Rant about one armed kangaroos” or something like that. One armed kangaroos…I’ll have to remember that one. I guess I could start ranting about one armed kangaroos but then I’d feel like it was just forced or some (expletive deleted). (Expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) Leafar the (expletive deleted) Lost! If I was better about putting these things out, I wouldn’t be in this situation. I mean if the old thread was still up I could have posted a rant about Leafar the Lost and he would have been all like “Blah, blah, blah…I’m a giant (expletive deleted)” and then I would have responded with “Eat a (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted).” You know, to (expletive deleted) with this whole rant. Rant over.

Come back next week when I rant about Work. Here is a preview…Work (expletive deleted) sucks.

Sovereign Court

You should rant about ginger gnomes.


JMD031 wrote:

Updated list of topics I'm going to rant about:

Work
Bosses
Those annoying automated telephone menu things (you know, press 1 for blah, press 2 for blech, etc...)
Customers who bug me while I'm trying to do something important, like browse the Paizo message boards
People who talk in netspeak (LOL, OMG, ROTFLMAO, etc...)
Telemarketers.
Those jackanape "debt collectors" that mistake you for some one else - as if you have any more money that the guy who shirked on the "debt" the jackanapes are now determined that YOU owe them for.
Spam that the e-mail filters fail to catch. Or spam that cleverly dodges the nets during its annual spawning runs up long Alaskan rivers. Or both.
Why Gruumash is so Awesome?
Purple People Eaters
Pushy Monkey Kings
Canadians

New update.

Liberty's Edge

I would like to rant about cats.

ONE!!!1onne!!!!!!won!!!!!
Okay cats are always meowing.
TWOO!!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@222!!!@@
Sometimes get fur on things.
TRHEEE#$#$#$$#$#$#$#$#3333######
ANGRY
FOUR
knock things over
SIX
SEVEN
they breed too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Efight
they fight with dogs
NIEN
THEY DIE XDXDXDXDXDXDXDX

edit what: I have been working on this rant for WEEKS and then you guys resurrect the thread whay to steal my lightinng


Based on Gark's rant, I am assuming he is not a fan of cats. I could be wrong about that, though. As a monkey who really dislikes cats, I can agree with most of his points except for number "nien". In my opinion, that is one of the things cats do that doesn't bother me. Unless they manage to die in or around my apartment or car.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Hmm, I see there is no pleasing you guys. Either that or everyone is preparing for Paizocon or some such. Well, I will continue what I started and ensure that a new post is made in this thread from here on out. Unless of course I'm busy...or I forget...or...well you get the point.

Liberty's Edge

I forgot one more thing about cats: about 2/7ths of the population is aliens.

Not sure if they're hostile, or what.


Thank god it is almost the weekend.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Pathfinder Accessories, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

I'm already on my weekend! Training holidays rock.


Today is the start of my work week.

Liberty's Edge

Thank god I'm done with finals. Or thank the FSM. Actually thank me as you are all imagined. You know what, f@%& the man, I'm doing a self-conscious rant now. Apparently some people think it's okay to be narcissistic self-involved solipsists! Whichis pretty f#~#ing stupid if you ask me, because the illusion of usefulness and meaning is basically the basis of rational thinking. The postulate that the world exxists is kind of important, no? Actually, f$&% it. It's cooler to think that everything is inside my braiiiin. Like every college professor hasn't had to deal with newly-born solipsists fresh out of their philosophy 101. Kids that style themselves as smart but a really just as stupid as you and I. Everyone is stupid, by the way. Hero worship really gets on my nerves? I mean,e veryone is a person. Some screw up more than others, and some are luckier than others, but that doesn't mean you should trust them implicitly. Today or yesterday in the state paper I saw an editorial about how there is no Most Trusted Man In America ever since Cronkite kicked the wicked elixir. Well, should Americans really trust? We put too much faith in a lot of things. We should not see a Person in power, we should see people. Normal people, who have flaws. And we should pick out the good bits but always be cognisant of that individual's issues. Wow this was a really shitty rant. Too many EMOTIONS and OPINIONS.

edit: oh yeah I forgot the "redacted" thing TOO BAD I dON"T GIVE


I deem this rant worthy. 8.5/10

Gark is like the number 2 ranter in this thread.


Wait a minute number 2 ranter? I mean Like was totaly ranting here to keep everyone going for a while until you had a chance to get your rants out. I was like holding up the place and Gark has one little rant and you are like calling him the 2nd placed ranter here? Wow, that is a complete slap in the face. I just can't fathom that. I put all that work into my rants and you blantly shove it back in my face... Just wow that (redacted) donkey (redacted).

Liberty's Edge

I'm sorry Gruemash sometimes you just have to rolle with the flow.

At least you're more awesome than us right?


The Mad Badger wrote:
Wait a minute number 2 ranter? I mean Like was totaly ranting here to keep everyone going for a while until you had a chance to get your rants out. I was like holding up the place and Gark has one little rant and you are like calling him the 2nd placed ranter here? Wow, that is a complete slap in the face. I just can't fathom that. I put all that work into my rants and you blantly shove it back in my face... Just wow that (redacted) donkey (redacted).

I apologize if you are offended but honestly, his rants are 1. funny 2. random but yet on point. and 3. they follow the formula that has been established by me.

Your rants are good but as you pointed out they are "rants to keep everyone going" and as such are probably not up to your true potential. I believe that you could very well do amazing rants if you were to focus your rant energy. Besides if you think about it I've now given you motivation to produce better rants.


...


I don't believe it either.


.... .... .....


Yes yes, please do go on. Don't mind me, I just need to finish calibrating this.


I think I'm going to add hot weather to the list.


It's like all of the other ranters are on vacation or something.


JMD031 wrote:
It's like all of the other ranters are on vacation or something.

When all you can do is deal with the heat overwhelming your AC and wreaking havoc on your water filtration, ranting is tertiary.


I keep trying to write a rant, but I can't quite get the proper tone for this thread. It's either too nice or way way way too naughty.


There is no such thing as "too" naughty. That is what <redacted> or (expletive deleted) is for.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Pathfinder Accessories, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

I'm going to have to unlock my inner hate and work out a rant one of these days.


JMD031 wrote:
There is no such thing as "too" naughty. That is what <redacted> or (expletive deleted) is for.

One of the rants I started on quickly devolved into an endless string of <redacted>s and (expletive deleted)s. So yeah, too naughty.


That sounds awesome.

Liberty's Edge

It is weird seeing someone with "gran" in their name talking about naughty. But not that weird, on these forums.

Hot weather sucks. In the same way a boiling teakettle sucks. Some of the time it doesn't suck as much, but it still sucks. Basically I think if you are a native Californian you are okay with hot water as long as it is not too cold, but if it is humid then the Californians don't like it. Now Southerners, they can appreciate humid weather. The air is as thick as a sheep. Okay so you know what I [redacted] hate about [redacted] sheep? Theyir [redacted] wool grows way too fast. So as soon as it's no longer raining they're heating up in these little wool blankets of sheep fur, and you have to shear their sorry [redacted]. If you don't have an electric shearer, it takes [redacted] 4 [redacted] hours to shear one [redacted] sheep! And that's if it is cooperative. If it's a ram that you [redacted] up the castration of then it's going to take you twice as long, and in this heat you'll get [redacted] [redacted] tired enough that you can't do it all in one day. Why do we even have sheep? We don't even have a [redacted] spinning wheel. It's [redacted] [redacted]. Sure lambs are cute but they [redacted] everywhere and the only benefit of them growing up is that their [redacted] is less disgusting and more usable for compost. Oh, and sheep get out of the pen way too much too. [redacted] city folk think sheep are just stupid [redacted] who don't know which way the sky is blue. Well they're wrong because sheep are way too [redacted] smart for their own good. Maybe we'll get a cougar.


Hey Gark, maybe I can help. My college mascot was the cougar.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
TriOmegaZero wrote:
I'm going to have to unlock my inner hate and work out a rant one of these days.

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

Silver Crusade

SLAaDOS wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:
I'm going to have to unlock my inner hate and work out a rant one of these days.
↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

Red Pants Man and Blue Pants Man gain extra lives

Vic Viper explodes


I think I feel some more rants coming on soon ...

Liberty's Edge

A pet cougar would be crazy.

Crazy awesome.


Hey now. I offered to help with your sheep problem, not become your pet. Besides, technically I haven't been a cougar for *mumble mumble* years.


Why do people have to rant about things they hate? Why can't they rant about things they love? Like Leafar?


They do. When it's about things they love it's called fan-gushing or similar terms.


Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:
Why do people have to rant about things they hate? Why can't they rant about things they love? Like Leafar?

I had three rants about Leafar, but they were all hate filled. Does that count?


I think it does.


Well, you did love those rants, correct? So I guess that fits the paradigm as it comes to full circle.

Problem solved.


Thanks. I was worried there for a second.


I am overdue on a rant. I'll get around to it...eventually.


No Rampages through this thread?

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