How about a Tallnut?
Dragonut?
So long as it isn't uglyfruit...
Ah, nothing like the weekend to recharge the old batteries.
Working on a new rant for the new page of this thread.
The creativeness is not coming to me...
Hopefully will have one done by the end of this weekend.
I'm such a slacker...:(
These topics are getting more and more difficult to rant about. Mainly because I don't want to not have anything to rant about. On the other hand, if I finish this list it will potentially ensure that whatever I rant about will be topical. Hmm...decisions, decisions.
What kind of saint are you to lack things to rant about?
Its more that I'm not spontaneous enough to just produce rants on a whim.
RANT INCOMING!!!!
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Welcome back rant fans! This edition of JMD031’s infamous rants is about Hot Weather, which is (expletive deleted) ironic because it is the middle of winter. But as the saying goes, on with the show. Hot weather is awful because it makes you sweaty and it drains you of your energy. It’s also difficult as (expletive deleted) to cool down. The only good thing about Hot Weather is it encourages women to wear less clothing. Lord only knows that we could always stand to have women wear less clothes. What? What do you mean that was a “sexist” comment? I’m a man and I like to look at women. Does that make me a “Neanderthal”? Whatever. You are just mad that I’m not afraid to say what’s on my (expletive deleted) mind. Man, you can’t say (expletive deleted) anything these days. I mean, (expletive deleted) you simply say one simple thing and some crazy (expletive deleted) has to get their underwear all in a (expletive deleted) twist. That really (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) me off. I don’t even remember what I was ranting about and I’m too (expletive deleted) lazy to look up 3 inches to find out. So now this rant is about people who (expletive deleted) get “offended” over every little thing that is said to them. GET A (expletive deleted) LIFE YOU (expletive deleted)!!! That’s pretty much all I have to say about that. I think I really summed that one up pretty well. Anyways, (expletive deleted) rant over.
Tune in next time when I rant about…Power Outages. Wouldn’t it be ironic if I had a (expletive deleted) power outage in the middle of that rant? How would I be able to
Rant list:
Power Outages
“Performance Anxiety”
Being sick
Cyclist who ride their bikes at night in the middle of the road
Stupidity replacing common sense
Co-workers
Cow orcers
Produce bags (as suggested by Mrs. JMD031)
Important announcement
I am beginning what I am calling "Operation Rant List Completion". This means in the upcoming couple of weeks I'm going to be working diligently to complete this entire list. I will not be taking any new topics to add to the list and once the list is complete I will simply rant on an as needed basis depending on whatever I feel like ranting about at the time.
Nicely done. The ending makes it.
That was a good rant. My only complaint is that you were pretty off topic there at first, but that got better as the rant wore on.
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Thanks :D.
I talked to my ex-wife last night. A rant will be posted tonight.
Rant incoming!
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Welcome back rant enthusiasts! This rant is about Power Outages. Many of us have had to deal with this situation over the course of this winter and let me tell you it (expletive deleted) sucks. The only thing worse is… (Expletive deleted) I forgot to save my work and now I lost half of my rant. (Expletive deleted) (Expletive deleted) (expletive deleted)!!!! I know what you might be thinking, “how the (expletive deleted) can I lose a rant in the middle of a sentence”. (Expletive deleted) Microsoft Word autosave that’s how. Also, sometimes, I like stop typing in the middle of a sentence to make sure it’s funny or it has some semblance of coherentness. And besides who are you to judge me? Seriously, how the (expletive deleted) dare you! You, with your eyes staring into my soul and your constant request for these ridiculous topics that I rant about… I’m sorry, I’m just really upset about losing part of that rant. You see I had this whole bit about how power outages were like this whole (expletive deleted) government shutdown thing but now I can’t (expletive deleted) remember any of that stuff. That (expletive deleted) was gold and now it’s gone due to a (expletive deleted) power outage. You know, I think this (expletive deleted) rant is the current record holder the use of the phrase expletive deleted. That’s pretty (expletive deleted) impressive right there. Anyways, (expletive deleted) this (expletive deleted). Rant over.
Join me next time when I rant about…”Performance Anxiety”. What the (expletive deleted) does that have to do with any(expletive deleted)thing.
Rant list:
“Performance Anxiety”
Being sick
Cyclist who ride their bikes at night in the middle of the road
Stupidity replacing common sense
Co-workers
Cow orcers
Produce bags (as suggested by Mrs. JMD031)
A new rant has been posted...
So I see
I approve
Rant accepted, Dave.
Operation "Complete Rant List" is well under way. BTW my name is not Dave...
And that joke just rounded Pluto...
This one might as well.
And that joke just rounded Pluto...
This one might as well.
Oh, I get the joke, I just refuse to be apart of it.
Also, Pluto is no longer considered a planet and therefore gets no respect from me.
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Technically it is a Dwarf Planet. So it is still a Type of Planet.
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It will always be Yuggoth to me.
Rant Incoming!!!
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Welcome back rant fans! This rant is about “Performance Anxiety”. Get your (expletive deleted) minds out of the gutter because I know that’s what you were thinking. This has more to do with the fact that I’ve been having a (expletive deleted) mental block when it comes to producing these rants. If you think you have been frustrated waiting to read the (expletive deleted) that I put into these (expletive deleted) rants, you can’t imagine how (expletive deleted) frustrated I’ve been with not being able to produce more of them. These seem simple enough, but there really is an art form to them. I can’t just start stringing together a random amount of (expletive deleted) words together and then post it. I mean I could, but I wouldn’t feel right doing it. I often wonder if I make these things go too long, or not long enough, or are they coherent, or too coherent, etc., etc. I mean it’s not like I’m being (expletive deleted) graded on these things. And for that matter only a small handful of people are actually reading them. I mean, you guys are awesome, it’s I’d like more people to read them. (Expletive deleted) listen to me. I sound like a whiney kid who doesn’t have any Facebook friends. Speaking of Facebook, (expletive deleted) that whole thing. Seriously, Facebook is the devil. You don’t believe me? Try this as an experiment. Unfriend any number of your friends and then count how long it takes them to contact you through some means with a comment like “What the (expletive deleted)? I thought we were friends?” or perhaps “Are you mad at me?” On a similar note, post something on someone’s wall to the effect of “I didn’t like this” and see how (expletive deleted) stupid the conversation gets. Facebook takes all the terribleness of the internet and allows your mom to read it. Where was I? Oh yeah, this is supposed to be about “Performance Anxiety”. As I’ve been reading this thread, I was offered the suggestion of just ranting about whatever came to my mind. “Holy (expletive deleted) on a pogo stick!” I exclaimed, “whatever would I do without the list?” Then it occurred to me. I've been using the list as a crutch. I haven’t been putting out many rants because I didn’t want the list to go away and at the same time I didn’t want to encourage new topics to be put on the list. Kind of insane right? Well go take your (expletive deleted) backseat (expletive deleted) psychology somewhere else. Geez, everyone thinks they can watch (expletive deleted) Dr. Phil and be a (expletive deleted) expert on the human condition. If you watch Dr. Phil, go punch yourself in the (expletive deleted) face right now. I’ll wait. Are you finished? Good. Because Dr. Phil is a (expletive deleted) quack. I mean he isn’t even a licensed therapist…or so I heard on the internet. Good (expletive deleted) lord this rant went to all kinds of crazy places. Alright, rant over.
Join me next time when I rant about…Being sick. I (expletive deleted) hate being sick. It’s the worst feeling in the world.
Rant list:
Being sick
Cyclist who ride their bikes at night in the middle of the road
Stupidity replacing common sense
Co-workers
Cow orcers
Produce bags (as suggested by Mrs. JMD031)
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That was easily an A- rant as it was probably one of the longest.
I guess bad grading can get added to the list.
No more additions to the rant list. Besides I did an unofficial rant about rant lists earlier in this thread.
Hmm, I'm getting writer's block....
Kill it with fire.
Still working on a new rant.
Are you ready?
yup
Let her rip!
Rant Incoming!
Welcome back rant fans! This rant is about being sick. Let’s face it, being sick (expletive deleted) sucks. The last time I was sick I thought for sure I was going to die. I’m (expletive deleted) serious. I had (expletive deleted) coming out of both ends of me. It was (expletive deleted) awful. It was like that scene in Alien where the (expletive deleted) thing climbs out of the dude’s stomach…what? “Spoiler alert”? Go (expletive deleted) yourself! That movie is like 20 years old. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, being sick and how much it (expletive deleted) sucks. There are many kinds of “being sick” to include the “puking sick” which is just awful because for the duration of this the only things you can usually eat is soup…(expletive deleted) soup. Another kind of being sick is the “diarrhea sick”. This is awful because you spend a good deal of time sitting in one place and your (expletive deleted) feels like its on fire. Combine this with the “puking sick” you are definitely in for a (expletive deleted) time. There is the less (expletive deleted) “achy sick” but it usually comes with all of the others. The “feverish sick” is unique because often you may hallucinate but you don’t have good hallucinations and you feel like you’re going to spontaneously combust or freeze to death. The “coughing sick” is the most annoying and is compounded by being added to any of the above. Also, the “coughing sick” tends to be the one that lasts the longest. In conclusion, no matter how you look at it being sick (expletive deleted) sucks the (expletive deleted) big one. Which brings me to a new part of this rant…if we are such an advanced society, why the (expletive deleted) are we sick all the (expletive deleted) time? You would think that by now we would have developed means for eliminating many of the various things that will cause us to feel ill and what not. But no, we have to waste time and money on things like reality TV or (expletive deleted) things like the Sham-wow. Seriously what the (expletive deleted) people? Anyways, this rant has gone on long enough and it’s not even that (expletive deleted) funny. Rant over.
Join me next time when I rant about…Cyclist who ride their bikes at night in the middle of the road. HOLY (expletive deleted) Batman do I (expletive deleted) hate that.
Rant list:
Cyclist who ride their bikes at night in the middle of the road
Stupidity replacing common sense
Co-workers
Cow orcers
Produce bags (as suggested by Mrs. JMD031)
Just a few more before we are done with the list.
[Gladiator reference]Are you not entertained?[/Gladiator reference]