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The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


Gamer Talk

14,551 to 14,600 of 14,686 << first < prev | 284 | 285 | 286 | 287 | 288 | 289 | 290 | 291 | 292 | 293 | 294 | next > last >>

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The Raven Black wrote:
John Napier 698 wrote:
Good morning, everyone. I won't be posting here very much, today. I'm trying to help a friend on another thread deal with a bout of depression and the reoccurring alcoholism it brought along for the ride. I'll accept any words of encouragement that anyone wants to send my way. Thank you.

You are awesome, John. It is good to have you here :-)

Thanks, Raven. I believe that when one of us is hurting, we should rally around, just like everyone did for me in April. This is what makes us a family of friends instead of a community of strangers.


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VixieMoondew wrote:
Good luck to anyone who needs it!

Thanks, Vixie. I only wish I could be there to help him, but Denmark is so very far away.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
VixieMoondew wrote:

Hrm, having some trouble with my new character. Trying to figure out what deity she'd follow... if any at all. She's a transgender Aasimar that, in combat, believes in healing the worthy and purging evil beings in shattered crystal (ice). Outside of combat, she's actually a bit on the lazy and sarcastic side. Technically, as a sorceress, she doesn't need a religion... but if she falls into one, hey, why not?

My problem is, I feel like she's not strict/serious enough for Iomedae and the ice thing conflicts with Sarenrae's sunny theme. Thoughts? I might pull her over to the Advice thread.

Wonder if there are any angels she could follow?

My Halfling Sorceress had an instinctive worship for Shelyn because of her "ooh shiny" focus (not to mention her above the sky CHA). I thought of that because of the shattered crystal. Crystal is shiny and makes rainbows

BTW, she used the 3pp Strega archetype (which gives Hexes) and I flavoured her as coming from Irrisen, which has an obvious link to ice :-)

Sovereign Court

The Raven Black wrote:
VixieMoondew wrote:

Hrm, having some trouble with my new character. Trying to figure out what deity she'd follow... if any at all. She's a transgender Aasimar that, in combat, believes in healing the worthy and purging evil beings in shattered crystal (ice). Outside of combat, she's actually a bit on the lazy and sarcastic side. Technically, as a sorceress, she doesn't need a religion... but if she falls into one, hey, why not?

My problem is, I feel like she's not strict/serious enough for Iomedae and the ice thing conflicts with Sarenrae's sunny theme. Thoughts? I might pull her over to the Advice thread.

Wonder if there are any angels she could follow?

My Halfling Sorceress had an instinctive worship for Shelyn because of her "ooh shiny" focus (not to mention her above the sky CHA). I thought of that because of the shattered crystal. Crystal is shiny and makes rainbows

BTW, she used the 3pp Strega archetype (which gives Hexes) and I flavoured her as coming from Irrisen, which has an obvious link to ice :-)

Doing a thirty-second Google of Irrisen, I imagine that Thyste will find the whole thing blasphemous. Clearly these rulers need to be dealt with, and with the harshest cold imaginable.

Liberty's Edge

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Lady Vulpina wrote:
The Raven Black wrote:
VixieMoondew wrote:

Hrm, having some trouble with my new character. Trying to figure out what deity she'd follow... if any at all. She's a transgender Aasimar that, in combat, believes in healing the worthy and purging evil beings in shattered crystal (ice). Outside of combat, she's actually a bit on the lazy and sarcastic side. Technically, as a sorceress, she doesn't need a religion... but if she falls into one, hey, why not?

My problem is, I feel like she's not strict/serious enough for Iomedae and the ice thing conflicts with Sarenrae's sunny theme. Thoughts? I might pull her over to the Advice thread.

Wonder if there are any angels she could follow?

My Halfling Sorceress had an instinctive worship for Shelyn because of her "ooh shiny" focus (not to mention her above the sky CHA). I thought of that because of the shattered crystal. Crystal is shiny and makes rainbows

BTW, she used the 3pp Strega archetype (which gives Hexes) and I flavoured her as coming from Irrisen, which has an obvious link to ice :-)

Doing a thirty-second Google of Irrisen, I imagine that Thyste will find the whole thing blasphemous. Clearly these rulers need to be dealt with, and with the harshest cold imaginable.

IIRC the Winter Witch PrC has ways to deal with Resistance/Immunity to cold and no Evil / Not Good requirement :-)


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I just took a closer look at the PFS Additional Resources page and realized that I'm gonna need a boon before I can play her >:C grump

time to start keeping an eye out for events


mechaPoet wrote:

Every time I scroll past the Pathfinder Society forum, I keep reading that one thread titled "please no more nerfs" as "please no more terfs."

And every time I'm just like, "yeah, same."

:/ Yea. My otherwise beloved grandmother is a terf, and it's basically eliminated any way I have to actually transition (well, among other problems).


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Sometimes I wonder if I spend more time fighting with my fellow trans people than I do the people trying to oppress us. I was looking at a thread on trans characters, posted by a transwoman. Basically immediately, another transwoman has come along to take umbrage at the exact terms she uses. Things degenerate from there, and it gets ugly. And I see it so much, internet and real life, that I kind of don't want to be a part of the community anymore. The real depressing part is, it's basically always a handful of people causing the problem, but nobody ever really deals with those people, and I find pointing out their behavior (only thing I as an individual really have the ability to do) just makes them more hostile (these types of people do not take criticism).

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

There are some people who even when they find out who they are discover they are complete a-holes and relish their roles.

And then they attempt to use whatever life situations they have to leverage their a-holedom to new heights (depths?).

Asess carefully the value of the thread, the forum, and the community to see if the toxicity is worth dealing with that particular outlet, or if there are options beyond that for communication?

Definitely not in the same vein as something as complicated as identity, had to step away from a campaign that I'd been affiliated with for about twenty years because of toxicity.

It took getting violently ill at the last get-together I attended to realize that it was endangering not only my mental and spiritual health, but also my phsycial well-being.

Hope this helps?


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Rosita the Riveter wrote:
Sometimes I wonder if I spend more time fighting with my fellow trans people than I do the people trying to oppress us. I was looking at a thread on trans characters, posted by a transwoman. Basically immediately, another transwoman has come along to take umbrage at the exact terms she uses. Things degenerate from there, and it gets ugly. And I see it so much, internet and real life, that I kind of don't want to be a part of the community anymore. The real depressing part is, it's basically always a handful of people causing the problem, but nobody ever really deals with those people, and I find pointing out their behavior (only thing I as an individual really have the ability to do) just makes them more hostile (these types of people do not take criticism).

I learned something of this through the second job and have a lifetime of butting heads with other black people on race relations. Just because someone is a sibling and you share a struggle doesn't mean they are in lock step with you and vice versa. Sometimes that's a good thing. Other times it feels like a knife in the back.


So, I had a talk with the person I'm living with today (let's call them Sam), and I got some answers. And we're basically over as a "couple". I don't think it's really sunk in for me yet, it's like a chaotic mishmash of feelings that are on the other side of a really thick drape. Maybe it's because of my medicine, maybe it's just because it's so big.

- Sam's mad at me for the stupidity of the actions that landed me in prison.
- As long as we're viewed as a couple, Sam thinks they're going to be held responsible for my actions by others. They think it's unfair that they have to deal with that mental burden.
- They still have romantic feelings for me, but don't want to.
- Sam wants us to move apart, and think that moving apart would make it easier to spend time together as they aren't as worried about us being seen as a couple.
- They still care for me a lot, and really don't want me to get hurt.

There's other things too but those are the main things and they're very understandable. I guess I saw this coming, as it's largely the same things they've been kinda half-saying when we talked about it earlier, but now I'm just going to have to accept it. Stating it here is part of that, because now I can go back and look at it when I start fruitlessly consider "what ifs". Hope can be a really destructive feeling sometimes.

I just really don't know what to do now. It's not hit me emotionally yet, not full-on at least, but I know it will and don't really know how to prepare for it. It's kinda bad timing too as my parents are abroad, and their support has always been helpful otherwise. I could call my sister, but I don't want to worry her as she has a lot on her plate right now and she'd just feel guilty and ashamed for not being able to help. I should try to get to meet someone on saturday to play some board game or something, but I fear if I make plans now I'll flake when the emotions have hit me, or I'll try to go but then have a shutdown when meeting people I don't know, or at the very least be weird enough (soial anxiety + autism + adhd yaaay) to freak them out.

That said, I'll take the chance now before I sink deeper and try to view things from at least a not-negative side. It's been a very good relationship in most ways and we've both grown immensely from it. Sam's helped me become a much more conscientious person, and I've helped them become a much more self-loving person. Sam's taught me a lot of things and gotten me to broaden my perspective in loads of ways, and I was part of introducing them to gaming as a hobby. We've both honed our analyses of the world, sharing the same base assumptions and discussing and nuancing views between us.


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Berb, I'm sorry to hear about that. Hopefully the distance will be a positive for both of you, and in the meantime, it's very good that you're doing your best to keep on the bright side of everything. Going out and doing something this weekend sounds like a good idea!


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Hi, Berbanna. You don't know me, mainly because I generally post when I have something to say. Most of the time, I just listen. Over the past couple of days, I've been helping someone on another thread deal with depression and reoccurring alcoholism. So I'll give you a free piece of advice. Don't hesitate to ask the people here for help. The friends that I've made, on this thread and others, are among the finest people I've ever known. I'm sure that everyone here will give you more emotional support than you can ever know. Create a character and play in various Play-by-Post campaigns, so that you don't become overly-focused on your anxieties. ... Does anyone else have something to add?

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Berbanna wrote:

So, I had a talk with the person I'm living with today (let's call them Sam), and I got some answers. And we're basically over as a "couple". I don't think it's really sunk in for me yet, it's like a chaotic mishmash of feelings that are on the other side of a really thick drape. Maybe it's because of my medicine, maybe it's just because it's so big.

- Sam's mad at me for the stupidity of the actions that landed me in prison.
- As long as we're viewed as a couple, Sam thinks they're going to be held responsible for my actions by others. They think it's unfair that they have to deal with that mental burden.
- They still have romantic feelings for me, but don't want to.
- Sam wants us to move apart, and think that moving apart would make it easier to spend time together as they aren't as worried about us being seen as a couple.
- They still care for me a lot, and really don't want me to get hurt.

There's other things too but those are the main things and they're very understandable. I guess I saw this coming, as it's largely the same things they've been kinda half-saying when we talked about it earlier, but now I'm just going to have to accept it. Stating it here is part of that, because now I can go back and look at it when I start fruitlessly consider "what ifs". Hope can be a really destructive feeling sometimes.

I just really don't know what to do now. It's not hit me emotionally yet, not full-on at least, but I know it will and don't really know how to prepare for it. It's kinda bad timing too as my parents are abroad, and their support has always been helpful otherwise. I could call my sister, but I don't want to worry her as she has a lot on her plate right now and she'd just feel guilty and ashamed for not being able to help. I should try to get to meet someone on saturday to play some board game or something, but I fear if I make plans now I'll flake when the emotions have hit me, or I'll try to go but then have a shutdown when meeting people I don't know, or at the very least be weird...

Hi, Berbanna.

First thing I take from this is that you are really BRAVE. Not only did you dare talking to Sam about this difficult situation, but also you share it with us here

Second thing I take from this is that Sam still has strong feelings for you. I think these do not disappear so easily. I do not want to spread false hope, but maybe moving apart will help Sam realize what is most important for them

I feel that the second point in your list is out of synch, though I do not doubt Sam's sincerity at all. I felt the same already when you mentioned it before. Why is other people's opinion of you (and of Sam) so important to them ? People who really know you as the good person you are will understand and not judge either you or Sam negatively for it. Others who are not so understanding are better left behind anyway

I second the posts above too. Though Sam is obviously a very important part of your life, there are other parts too that can help you feel better, including going out, gaming. Do not hesitate to jump in them so your positive experiences then will strengthen your resilience against dark thoughts

You are a good person by yourself and everyone here supports you and wishes you the very best. Bask in that light ;-)


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@ Berb

I don't know the dynamic with your family, but don't make the decision for them whether or not you should talk to them. Let your sister decide that.
If she's been a good source of support and comfort in the past, talk to her. I think if it were me and my siblings, I'd be more upset that they felt like they shouldn't talk to me, than adding anything to my "plate".

Just my 2 cp.

Silver Crusade

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*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*

Silver Crusade

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Ah, didn't realize I had posted so late/early.

Oh well, welcome to Friday everyone ^w^

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*

Grand Lodge

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Happy Friday and btw, it's my birthday.

And tomorrow I'll be playing roller derby.


Kittyburger wrote:

Happy Friday and btw, it's my birthday.

And tomorrow I'll be playing roller derby.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Clearly roller derby is your birthday present to me, as I love roller derby.


Kittyburger wrote:

Happy Friday and btw, it's my birthday.

And tomorrow I'll be playing roller derby.

Happy Birthday!

Be careful on the rink.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild, Tales Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber
Kittyburger wrote:

Happy Friday and btw, it's my birthday.

And tomorrow I'll be playing roller derby.

Happy Birthday!


Kittyburger wrote:

Happy Friday and btw, it's my birthday.

And tomorrow I'll be playing roller derby.

Happy Birthday! *hugs*


Kittyburger wrote:

Happy Friday and btw, it's my birthday.

And tomorrow I'll be playing roller derby.

Happy Birthday

Grand Lodge

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Thanks for the birthday wishes :) My cat woke me up this morning the way she always does: By coming onto my pillow and chewing on my hair until I got up and made her breakfast.

Silver Crusade

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Dawwwwwwwwwww.

Hope you have fun at roller derby today ^w^

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*


So one of my fears was realized last night. I was hanging out with my trans male friend and I learned one of my friends have doubts that I am a transgendered woman. Like I am lying about it. And he seems very supportive...

Apparently I do not act like a woman should...in his view. He is very...pruddish...and woman should not like sex like I do...or at least like I RP my female characters.

My problem is...he has known me for a very long time...to think I would lie about this...is a amazing. I would not do that to my trans friend or to the people on these boards as it would be insulting to the things we do go through every day.

Sigh I should find a way to discuss this with him...sigh.

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Selene,

It sounds like the divide is not on viewing you as a woman, but viewing you as a woman with a sex drive, based on what you've said?

For some reason, a lot of men get a misconstrued ideal that women don't/shouldn't have a sex drive. In some of the more exceptional cases, they don't even feel that women should need one, that a 'man' should be enough for their 'needs'.

This has been going back hundreds of years, at least.

There is a craptonne of baggage involved with that from a social perspective, so step carefully when discussing the topic.

Please be careful and protect the Self.


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Selene Spires wrote:

So one of my fears was realized last night. I was hanging out with my trans male friend and I learned one of my friends have doubts that I am a transgendered woman. Like I am lying about it. And he seems very supportive...

Apparently I do not act like a woman should...in his view. He is very...pruddish...and woman should not like sex like I do...or at least like I RP my female characters.

My problem is...he has known me for a very long time...to think I would lie about this...is a amazing. I would not do that to my trans friend or to the people on these boards as it would be insulting to the things we do go through every day.

Sigh I should find a way to discuss this with him...sigh.

what absolute nonsense!

Women enjoy sex just as much as men do!


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"Slut-shaming" comes to mind. Cis-het women are often told they're not "real women" if they enjoy sex 'too much'.

It sounds like your friend is still channeling a lot of social rules that restrict women's sexuality. Both males and females are socialized to see women who enjoy sex as 'other'.


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So, I just came to a revelation about Dragon Age that I can't believe I didn't think of before. The Chantry doesn't practice any prohibition or condemnation of homosexuality, does it? I mean, Leliana's faithful to the core, and she gladly has relations with either gender, no guilt lor shame attached. Wynne's pretty religious, and if she finds out you're in a same sex relationship, she has the exact same concerns as if you are in an opposite sex one. Sebastian's celibate now, but in the past he also engaged in same sex relations, and is not ashamed of this, despite being a priest. During the whole affair with Dorian, religion never really gets brought up as one of the reasons for his father to oppose his sexuality. Uncounted members of the Inquisition are highly religious, and from many different sects of this religion, and none of them ever voice an objection to an openly homosexual or bisexual Inquisitor.

The only conclusion I can draw from all of this is that the Chant of Light has no objection to same sex relationships. Which is actually nice to see in a Fantasy Counterpart Catholic religion.


So, today's GASP game day was a complete wash. Of the Pathfinder group, only myself and one of the GMs showed. Not even enough for a game. The two of us helped an acquaintance develop a Role-playing system. The Alpha-development playtest went well. The GM didn't feel like running another game, so I left early. With no-one to drive me up the hill to the bus stop, I left while there was enough light to see by. There's no sidewalk or streetlights along that road.

A somewhat crappy day, right? But wait, it gets even better. Halfway home, the bus I was on was involved in a traffic accident. The driver of a small car decided that he wanted to go around the bus. So he crossed the double yellow lines to cut in front of the bus. But, the bus was in motion at the time, and clipped the car.

The car, out of control, jumped the sidewalk, crashed through some hedges, and stopped in the front yard of a mini-apartment building. No-one on the bus, myself included, got injured, thank God. *sigh* I hope tomorrow is better.


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I have more of a hug or cuddle drive than a sex drive I think.


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*Burning bright to lighten dark days and thoughts, cozying up the place for hugs, smiles, talking, companionship, gaming and all kinds of merryment*
*Hot and cold beverages galore*

Grand Lodge

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So, my team won 180-160!

TEAM EVIL FTW!


Congrats, KB.

Silver Crusade

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doctor_wu wrote:
I have more of a hug or cuddle drive than a sex drive I think.

I can never decide what I love more ^w^

*hugs Selene*

Sorry you're having to deal with that f+&!ery.

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*

Also yay Kittyburger!


I'm late, but congrats and happy birthday, Kittyburger!

Selene, that's some stupid bulldookie! If women don't like sex, I'm not sure what's up with my cis lesbian friends, or my cis bi wife.

As for John, this has been a crazy weekend for traffic. I had someone accelerate until they were tailgating me, flash their brights, then zip around me without using blinkers and slow down suddenly while waving their middle finger. But I have a Team Mystic sticker, so maybe they were just a Valor player...


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VixieMoondew wrote:

I'm late, but congrats and happy birthday, Kittyburger!

Selene, that's some stupid bulldookie! If women don't like sex, I'm not sure what's up with my cis lesbian friends, or my cis bi wife.

As for John, this has been a crazy weekend for traffic. I had someone accelerate until they were tailgating me, flash their brights, then zip around me without using blinkers and slow down suddenly while waving their middle finger. But I have a Team Mystic sticker, so maybe they were just a Valor player...

Or, maybe the driver was running late for Happy Hour (My favorite joke for impatient drivers). Someone should've told the driver that the bar will still be there.

Shadow Lodge

doctor_wu wrote:
Gmed another pfs table at lgbt center I should have 9 tables credit although not all reported correctly. so I have my own event code now.1 more table and I am almost a 1 star gm with 1 more table. Too bad the local con is at a place I do not think is the best place as it has much worse food options than my local lgbt center expensive parking and I almost lost this desktop there at a linux convention.

Congrats on your pending first star. That first one is always a big step.

Liberty's Edge

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Selene Spires wrote:

So one of my fears was realized last night. I was hanging out with my trans male friend and I learned one of my friends have doubts that I am a transgendered woman. Like I am lying about it. And he seems very supportive...

Apparently I do not act like a woman should...in his view. He is very...pruddish...and woman should not like sex like I do...or at least like I RP my female characters.

My problem is...he has known me for a very long time...to think I would lie about this...is a amazing. I would not do that to my trans friend or to the people on these boards as it would be insulting to the things we do go through every day.

Sigh I should find a way to discuss this with him...sigh.

We know that you are not a liar, Selene.

It is likely easier for your "friend" to put you in the box of "guy who for whatever reasons pretends to be a woman, while keeping on acting like a guy, ie not prude enough for a woman" rather than the box of "trans woman".

Likely because it is an easier fit to his narrow view of reality.

Some guys just cannot put it in their brain how much women enjoy sex and also how many of them enjoy talking about it (at least when there are no men around). I guess it is the guys' insecurities that cause this

I wish you the best on dealing with this guy. Stay safe :-)

Silver Crusade

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*hugs Selene some more*

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*


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Yes I am running the module the midnight mirror next week so I will get that star.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild, Tales Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber
doctor_wu wrote:
Yes I am running the module the midnight mirror next week so I will get that star.

Oooh that's a fun one.

Also woohoo!


Runnin' on Day 2 of interrupted sleep :D when will I get a full night through? Our audience is excited to find out!

Silver Crusade

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Oh noes! I hope you can get a good rest soon Vixie O.O

*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*


VixieMoondew wrote:
Runnin' on Day 2 of interrupted sleep :D when will I get a full night through? Our audience is excited to find out!

What's causing the sleep interruptions?


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John Napier 698 wrote:
VixieMoondew wrote:
Runnin' on Day 2 of interrupted sleep :D when will I get a full night through? Our audience is excited to find out!
What's causing the sleep interruptions?

Day 1 was due to the doc messing up my wife's blood pressure meds, so she was dealing with palpitations and was afraid to sleep without somebody watching her.

Day 2 is partially because of a late-night emergency call from work... annnnnd partially because my wife whispered something sexy into my ear right before she turned around and got cozy. >//////< Hard to sleep with... thoughts.


Nothing I can help with or give advice for. Sorry.


5 people marked this as a favorite.
VixieMoondew wrote:
John Napier 698 wrote:
VixieMoondew wrote:
Runnin' on Day 2 of interrupted sleep :D when will I get a full night through? Our audience is excited to find out!
What's causing the sleep interruptions?

Day 1 was due to the doc messing up my wife's blood pressure meds, so she was dealing with palpitations and was afraid to sleep without somebody watching her.

Day 2 is partially because of a late-night emergency call from work... annnnnd partially because my wife whispered something sexy into my ear right before she turned around and got cozy. >//////< Hard to sleep with... thoughts.

day 1 is completely understandable. Vigilance is necessary.

Day 2? All hands to cuddle stations. All hands to cuddle stations.

This is not a drill.

I repeat, all hands to cuddle stations...


I failed to finish washing a car it got so bright my eyes could not take it the clouds were moving fast and a hole opened up so I started to get light reflected into my eyes brightly repeatdly and sunglasses only helped so much.

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