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The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


Gamer Talk

1,001 to 1,050 of 6,019 << first < prev | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | next > last >>

I'm pretty out in my gaming, and actively work to weave my mostly gay, lesbian and/or trans characters' love and sex lives a part of my roleplaying. Not usually in a salacious way, although there was that tantric temple prostitute/sorcerer...

In general, i've found gaming groups and Pathfinder Society to be fairly tolerant places, but definitely not always comfortable or fab. I'd put gamer homophobia, transphobia and heterosexism in a few buckets that can be a drag.

  • "That's so gay," "pansy," or even the occasional "f-g" are common enough at the PFS or home game table. Luckily not too common...

  • The occasional young male gamer or older meat head has a more irritating gross out moment when encountering an LGBT NPC or my PCs. Sigh.

  • There is also the typical straight bro thing, making jokes out of hugging each other just a little too long, etc. Not hostile humor, but still annoying.

  • Mostly, I find that straight GMs don't know how to respond to the gay themed roleplaying threads that I try to feed them, and drop them like a hot potato (no matter how quaint and non-sexual I'm trying to be). This is a drag, especially when the same GM puts energy into developing other PC's straight romances... I suspect this is as much about not wanting to offend by doing it wrong, as it is about their actual discomfort with gay sex and romance. But it still lessens the gaming experience.

Most straight gamers don't say anything when these things surface, leaving it to the queer folks to call bad behavior out. It's pretty rare that a straight gamer realizes they have to actually make an active, vocal effort to create a welcoming space for LGBT people. Usually, I feel like we have to sink or swim. Luckily, the gaming community is relatively tolerant. But folks could do a better job of making it explicitly welcoming.

I've been really pleased with Paizo for actively creating LGBT non-player characters in mods, and hope they continue to build on this tradition.

They've also been pretty ground breaking about trying to address some of the legacy of racism in the industry, like by having a greater diversity of skin tones and phenotypes in their artwork. Still, as I've said elsewhere, there's still room for improvement—the pulp fiction references in their Sargava materials are especially in need of a 21st century tweaking, but that's all been said before...


Drejk wrote:

I was thinking intensely when I went out about posting a link to some music here... What was that, what was that...

Budka Suflera - Sen O Dolinie (Dream Of The Valley).

And AMV for a change: Take My Breath Away.

Yeah, those are some good songs!


lynora wrote:


Finally got around to watching the video. I recognized the song immediately, I just hadn't known who sang it before this. It's a very powerful song.

And now I really can appreciate the silly comment here. :)
He's not my type, but I can understand why you're into him. :)

Oh yes, I love Our Lady Peace personally, good stuff.

Hehe yep, I guess I just like ‘em pretty and soulful =)


Celestial Healer wrote:

Thanks. Should be fun.

Some of you know my situation pretty well, and know that I was with my partner for almost 10 years. I was of the opinion that it needed to end, so I'm not all that broken up about it. I just think it would be good for me to get out and talk to other people. I don't really care what happens, whether it works, or whatever. I just think it will be fun to meet somebody new.

10 years is a long time to be with someone for things to then go south, I'm sorry=(

Still it definitely can be fun meeting new people, I hope it goes well for you.


As an update on the gaming side of things: my personal evolution as a roleplayer has actually come a long way in just the past few months since I started playing RPGs. At first my characters were little more than slaughter/treasure happy number golems but now I’m into painting intricate character portraits with my PCs and carrying on complicated romances and personal relationships with other PCs, good times=)

Silver Crusade

Dogbladewarrior wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

Thanks. Should be fun.

Some of you know my situation pretty well, and know that I was with my partner for almost 10 years. I was of the opinion that it needed to end, so I'm not all that broken up about it. I just think it would be good for me to get out and talk to other people. I don't really care what happens, whether it works, or whatever. I just think it will be fun to meet somebody new.

10 years is a long time to be with someone for things to then go south, I'm sorry=(

Still it definitely can be fun meeting new people, I hope it goes well for you.

Thank you. Honestly, when one of my friends asked me how I am handling, I explained that I feel like I've been single for a long time; I just didn't know it.

My ex and I are still good friends; there is no animosity per se. I just think we stayed together well after it probably should have been over for not-so-good reasons.


For Celestial Healer: Lady Pank - Na Co Komu Dziś. The refrain (very losely translating): What use is today of yesterday's love, what use is today of yesterday's dreams.


And for Dogbladewarrior friend's sister: Pyjamas Porno - Nikt Tak Pięknie Nie Mówił, Że Się Boi Miłości (Jak Ty) "No one was saying so beautifully to be afraid of love (like you)". Don't ask me to translate the lyrics, however - it's too poetical.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion Subscriber
Dogbladewarrior wrote:
I was staggering around with people yelling at me “Sit down before you trip and crush one of us to death! Ahhhhh!!!”

Here's a question that pertains to your physique, which you've hinted at several times, from my heterosexual dating experience.

You haven't given any hard facts, so I'll just preview it with my own perspective.
I'm a big guy too, 6'6", played offensive lineman for several years (including a stint in the US), but have now "slimmed" down to more of a line backer physique (okay, still working on shedding some pounds I've put on over the last year).
You've hinted at how appreciative people have been of your physique and while I've heard lots of "gosh you're tall/big" comments, it hasn't really been as if it's an asset in my dating experience. It's not as if I'm some shambling Quasimodo look-alike either (pics of me in the "Pics or you're a Sock Puppet" thread elsewhere her on Paizo - in case anyone is curious).
Maybe I'm just meeting the wrong people or on the wrong continent... :-/
Right, the question, in what way has it been an asset in your experience and have you done anything to "play" on it?


O, yeah, it was you who provided us with photographic documentation of yourself replacing your good twin from Earth Dimension!


GentleGiant wrote:
Dogbladewarrior wrote:
I was staggering around with people yelling at me “Sit down before you trip and crush one of us to death! Ahhhhh!!!”

Here's a question that pertains to your physique, which you've hinted at several times, from my heterosexual dating experience.

You haven't given any hard facts, so I'll just preview it with my own perspective.
I'm a big guy too, 6'6", played offensive lineman for several years (including a stint in the US), but have now "slimmed" down to more of a line backer physique (okay, still working on shedding some pounds I've put on over the last year).
You've hinted at how appreciative people have been of your physique and while I've heard lots of "gosh you're tall/big" comments, it hasn't really been as if it's an asset in my dating experience. It's not as if I'm some shambling Quasimodo look-alike either (pics of me in the "Pics or you're a Sock Puppet" thread elsewhere her on Paizo - in case anyone is curious).
Maybe I'm just meeting the wrong people or on the wrong continent... :-/
Right, the question, in what way has it been an asset in your experience and have you done anything to "play" on it?

Hehe yeah I’m 6’5’’ myself and built so we are in about the same boat.

Yeah, absolutely it can be an asset, or at least the way I’ve approached it has worked for me. I don’t know how you experience things but my perspective is this:

When you are the size we are peoples natural reaction to you is to be intimidated so right off the bat I do everything I can to play up how gentle and approachable I am. I joke and laugh and smile. I am also extremely physical with people once I know them decently well and am always touching them and encouraging them to touch me. If you have a new haircut I’ll run my hands through your hair and if I really like you I will give you big kisses on your hands or face in moments of affection. At the size we are you are naturally larger than life and people will always feel you are invading their personal space just by existing anyway so what you do is reverse the intimidation factor into a “He will protect and take care of me.” vibe, which actually works well with men as well as women .

One of my favorite things to do is get into play fights with people, gently picking them up and tossing them around while responding with exaggerated motions when they hit me or throwing myself to the ground when they push me. The rush of power and excitement people get from manhandling a giant is quite exciting it seems and especially with tiny women who may have never physically dominated someone before the thrill can lead to a sexy fun time happening between you two=D

Actually the sexy fun time is the one place my largeness can be a serious problem for me because…er, everything about me is proportionally sized and that can cause some issues but from experience I know some pretty great ways of getting around that. If you've had that problem too and are curious how to get around it though you should prolly PM me about it rather than talk about it here, don’t want to go dirtying up the thread now.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion Subscriber
Dogbladewarrior wrote:

Hehe yeah I’m 6’5’’ myself and built so we are in about the same boat.

Yeah, absolutely it can be an asset, or at least the way I’ve approached it has worked for me. I don’t know how you experience things but my perspective is this:

When you are the size we are peoples natural reaction to you is to be intimidated so right off the bat I do everything I can to play up how gentle and approachable I am. I joke and laugh and smile. I am also extremely physical with people once I know them decently well and am always touching them and encouraging them to touch me. If you have a new haircut I’ll run my hands through your hair and if I really like you I will give you big kisses on your hands or face in moments of affection. At the size we are you are naturally larger than life and people will always feel you are invading their personal space just by existing anyway so what you do is reverse the intimidation factor into a “He will protect and take care of me.” vibe, which actually works well with men as well as women .

One of my favorite things to do is get into play fights with people, gently picking them up and tossing them around while responding with exaggerated motions when they hit me or throwing myself to the ground when they push me. The rush of power and excitement people get from manhandling a giant is quite exciting it seems and especially with tiny women who may have never physically dominated someone before the thrill can lead to a sexy fun time happening between you two=D

Actually the sexy fun time is the one place my largeness can be a serious problem for me because…er, everything about me is proportionally sized and that can cause some issues but from experience I know some pretty great ways of getting around that. If you've had that problem too and are curious how to get around it though you should prolly PM me about it rather than talk about it here, don’t want to go dirtying up the thread now.

Seems like I've been doing much of the same too. I'm also quite physical, in a good way, and I'm quasi-famous for my great big hugs. ;-)

I also have a calm and confident demeanor, so I've heard that people actually feel very much at ease around me and they get the feeling that, should anything happen, I'll be able to take care of the situation and keep a cool head while chaos might surround me.
I certainly don't mind being viewed like that and it's not just a facade either, it's been tested several times to hold true.
Same thing with the whole “He will protect and take care of me”-vibe. Kids love me too, since they can throw themselves at me and crawl all over me, I don't break easily. ;-)
It just hasn't resulted in any romantic advancements from any women for quite a while...

As for sexy fun time... well, I've never had any complaints in that area (when anything has actually progressed that far). :-p
Then it seems like an asset that any woman can be thrown around at my whim. ;-)


Lol, cool. Yeah I think the approach we are taking might really be the only feasible one for people of our size anyway, assuming we don't want to just terrify everyone around us.

High five buddy!


Celestial Healer wrote:


Thank you. Honestly, when one of my friends asked me how I am handling, I explained that I feel like I've been single for a long time; I just didn't know it.

My ex and I are still good friends; there is no animosity per se. I just think we stayed together well after it probably should have been over for not-so-good reasons.

No problem, I’m glad you aren’t taking it too hard.

I’m actually kinda enamored with the idea of a slow, gentle breakup happening occasionally myself. Most of my relationships have been more along the lines of dousing something explosive in gasoline and setting it on fire. Hot, fiery, and thunderous while going but they tend to leave a lot of smolderingly hot wreckage in their wake after. 8-/


As a friend gave me ride back from session the radio started playing: Kayleigh. I haven't heard to it for a long time so I found it on youtube to hear it again.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion Subscriber
Dogbladewarrior wrote:

Lol, cool. Yeah I think the approach we are taking might really be the only feasible one for people of our size anyway, assuming we don't want to just terrify everyone around us.

High five buddy!

Except it's still not working in any romantic capacity... so I'll wait with the high five until it does.


GentleGiant wrote:
Dogbladewarrior wrote:

Lol, cool. Yeah I think the approach we are taking might really be the only feasible one for people of our size anyway, assuming we don't want to just terrify everyone around us.

High five buddy!

Except it's still not working in any romantic capacity... so I'll wait with the high five until it does.

=( *is saddened by the lack of high five between cuddly giants....*


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion Subscriber
Dogbladewarrior wrote:
=( *is saddened by the lack of high five between cuddly giants....*

Oh alright then!

*High Five*
:-p


GentleGiant wrote:
Dogbladewarrior wrote:
=( *is saddened by the lack of high five between cuddly giants....*

Oh alright then!

*High Five*
:-p

Yay!


Also, yeah, I wouldn't worry too much about the dry spell, happens to the best of us, no doubt. I'm sure in time it will work out for you!

Shadow Lodge

lynora wrote:

He will be nine on Sunday. :)

Happy Birthday! :)


Even more songs!

This one explains the situation with a childhood friend of mine I lost long ago:

Candlebox: Far Behind

I still miss you =(

This following one is kinda hard to explain without an accompanying wall of text so instead just enjoy the dancing apes!

Gorillaz: Clint Eastwood

And finally: This one really captures how I feel about my life, my approach to said life(my fighting spirit) and the relationship I have with the universe I live in, in the end. This might actually be my theme song.

Breaking Benjamin: Until The End


Dragonborn3 wrote:
lynora wrote:

He will be nine on Sunday. :)

Happy Birthday! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


My sexual preference is people.

I don't think I will ever tell my family unless a relationship with a man or a trans(ceneded)gender person exceeds casual status, that said I tend prefer women physically but I find all types of people beautiful.

Unfortunately people seem to be comfortable around me to use sexuality slurs, and other derogatory sexual preference words and phrases I find offensive, I presume it's because of my appearance(covered in tattoos, metal/punk clothing), it tends to make people assume I'm straight, and while I am definitely not gay, I am definitely not straight.

I work with people non-stop at my day job and men and trans(ceneded)gender people are often taken aback when I flirt with them ;)

It's great to see such support for the LGBT gamer community. Animals don't find the need to define their sexuality(many mammals of higher brain function have homosexual sex, primates especially so).

On a some-what related note some communities in Indonesia classify humans into 5 sexes. Male,Female,Male/Female,Female/Male, and "Non-Gendered"

India has a large(30,000+) community of men who remove their genitals and live as women and classify themselves as a third gender(which i can't remember the name of).

In Albania women who wish to have equal social/vocational status with men often forsake their womanhood, shave their heads, dress like men, and take male names, many of these women are forced to do so in order to take care of their younger siblings if their parents die or abandon them.


And back to regular music transmission: Lacuna Coil - I Like It.


karlbadmanners wrote:

My sexual preference is people.

I don't think I will ever tell my family unless a relationship with a man or a trans(ceneded)gender person exceeds casual status, that said I tend prefer women physically but I find all types of people beautiful.

Unfortunately people seem to be comfortable around me to use sexuality slurs, and other derogatory sexual preference words and phrases I find offensive, I presume it's because of my appearance(covered in tattoos, metal/punk clothing), it tends to make people assume I'm straight, and while I am definitely not gay, I am definitely not straight.

I work with people non-stop at my day job and men and trans(ceneded)gender people are often taken aback when I flirt with them ;)

It's great to see such support for the LGBT gamer community. Animals don't find the need to define their sexuality(many mammals of higher brain function have homosexual sex, primates especially so).

On a some-what related note some communities in Indonesia classify humans into 5 sexes. Male,Female,Male/Female,Female/Male, and "Non-Gendered"

India has a large(30,000+) community of men who remove their genitals and live as women and classify themselves as a third gender(which i can't remember the name of).

In Albania women who wish to have equal social/vocational status with men often forsake their womanhood, shave their heads, dress like men, and take male names, many of these women are forced to do so in order to take care of their younger siblings if their parents die or abandon them.

I find that last very, very interesting. I have heard of similar practices in other cultures. Are the women who do this treated fairly and equally?


Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
karlbadmanners wrote:

My sexual preference is people.

I don't think I will ever tell my family unless a relationship with a man or a trans(ceneded)gender person exceeds casual status, that said I tend prefer women physically but I find all types of people beautiful.

Unfortunately people seem to be comfortable around me to use sexuality slurs, and other derogatory sexual preference words and phrases I find offensive, I presume it's because of my appearance(covered in tattoos, metal/punk clothing), it tends to make people assume I'm straight, and while I am definitely not gay, I am definitely not straight.

I work with people non-stop at my day job and men and trans(ceneded)gender people are often taken aback when I flirt with them ;)

It's great to see such support for the LGBT gamer community. Animals don't find the need to define their sexuality(many mammals of higher brain function have homosexual sex, primates especially so).

On a some-what related note some communities in Indonesia classify humans into 5 sexes. Male,Female,Male/Female,Female/Male, and "Non-Gendered"

India has a large(30,000+) community of men who remove their genitals and live as women and classify themselves as a third gender(which i can't remember the name of).

In Albania women who wish to have equal social/vocational status with men often forsake their womanhood, shave their heads, dress like men, and take male names, many of these women are forced to do so in order to take care of their younger siblings if their parents die or abandon them.

Thanks for your story, that's awesome.

Yes, it is very interesting to see how various cultures, past and present, deal with gender roles. I wish I had something more salient to say than that but stuff like that does fascinate me.


Hello people!

Thought I'd come in with my own story. I live in the dreary prairies of Canada (hint: it's very very flat). 22 - been playing tabletops for 7(!) years now.

I've been playing with my high school friends since 2007, long after I came out. Surprisingly, recently one of them came out as gay (he's always set my gaydar off, no matter how "straight-acting" he was). I went from shock to happiness pretty quickly.

One of my big struggles (as I noticed the OP and others describe) is that there is A LARGE gap between "gay culture" and "gamer culture". Lot's of guys react to "I play WoW/DnD" with either a "oh" of poorly-hidden distaste, or a "oh thats cute". The "thats cute" crowd become somewhat less pleased when the realize that the gamer culture eats into real life time on a scheduled basis.

But years later, I finally found a guy who is actually decently nerdy himself! We've been together just over 10 months, moved into our own place together last month. He's been playing Pathfinder with our group (starting with We Be Goblins) since christmas time. He's enjoying himself and still trying to find the kind of character he wants to play.

The best part about my group is that we are 3/5 homo! Or 4/5 "team man-genitals" (we have a lovely lady in our group).

Surprisingly, the only LGBT character I've played was a Barbarian, who took leadership and fell in love with her psionic cohort. That was many years ago, and sadly the story did not get to play out to completion (the 3.5 modules leading up to the end of FR).

Glad to know there is a strong community out there, even in Pathfinder land :)


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Finding a gaymer bf... kind of a "Choose Your Own Adventure Book" for the gay gamer...

Rocks that you found one!

Welcome to the thread...
:-)


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Yes they are given the EXACT same rights/etc. as a man would, they are viewed completely as equals


N

karlbadmanners wrote:
Yes they are given the EXACT same rights/etc. as a man would, they are viewed completely as equals

excellent. Heartening news. We do not all fit so neatly into our gender roles or even gender preferences, it I good to know that is accepted as a fact in other cultures and even celebrated.


So, hey, I don't think I've mentioned how much I enjoy "seeing everybody" here. It's been a very mellow, welcome place here, and I like it.

Thanx.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Alitan wrote:

So, hey, I don't think I've mentioned how much I enjoy "seeing everybody" here. It's been a very mellow, welcome place here, and I like it.

Thanx.

A mellow, welcoming place? I knew I was doing something wrong. Where did I put the damned nipple clamps and the car battery...

Shadow Lodge

It's over by the fuzzy handcuffs.


Fuzzy!?

Cold steel all the way.


I see I need to dig up my xbf's choke collar...


With metal, pardon, studs all over it?

Silver Crusade

This discussion took an interesting turn...


O_o

I'm going back to the brony thread now.


Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

And I'll bring the chicken suit!


Power Word Unzip wrote:

O_o

I'm going back to the brony thread now.

not just yeah...


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Power Word Unzip wrote:

O_o

I'm going back to the brony thread now.

Ah, Catherine the Great cosplay!

:
No, she didn't really die when a horse she was trying to get mount her crushed her.


DeathQuaker wrote:
And I'll bring the chicken suit!

HELLS YEAH

Shadow Lodge

Anyone want a particular safety word?


"W Szczebrzeszynie Chrząszcz Brzmi W Trzcinie".

Spoiler:
Classic Polish tongue-breaker that is used to teach children clear pronounciation.

Or maybe Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz.


Dragonborn3 wrote:
Anyone want a particular safety word?

Catherine the Great works for me.

Also, Y’all are some freaks…I like ya.


Dragonborn3 wrote:
Anyone want a particular safety word?

My fiance and I have learned to never choose a hilarious safety word.


Celestial Healer wrote:
This discussion took an interesting turn...

I blame Samnell.

Silver Crusade

Alitan wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
This discussion took an interesting turn...
I blame Samnell.

That's usually fair.


Alitan wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
This discussion took an interesting turn...
I blame Samnell.

I will take the blame for this nascent orgy. After all, I have been setting the mood with romantic music like this.

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