Drejk |
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Drejk wrote:Musical Interlude: I walk aloneYes! Bring the music back!
I am pretty sure I linked it in this thread in the past. But I love that song too much not to do it again.
And possibly again in the future...
GreyWolfLord |
This article won't be news to some, but it's worth a read:
Why Aren't Women Advancing at Work? Ask a Transgender Person
(I haven't been hit by this yet, but I'm also not passing consistently at this point.)
WOW!
Excellent article.
The Minis Maniac |
The Minis Maniac wrote:So can someone please for my reference enlighten me. I have full support and sympathy for trans folks. But i would like to here some of things you folks have had to deal with in the gaming community. Especially everyday stuff.
I can start with my experience as a non effeminate gay male. It becomes very awkward with a new gaming group and even just day to day life. No one expects me to be gay. They don't see any of the stereotypical signs. And because of very prevalent heterosexism, I find I have to come out of the closet a lot. As a matter of course while at work, if it comes up I say I have a "spouse". I do this because I find work a mostly inappropriate place to discuss my personal life, and I try to never do it outside of breaks or with customers. But with every new employee, and eventually regular customers, I have to come out again. They refer to my wife "my wedding ring is visible" and I have to correct them. And it always seems super awkward, but never hostile. But I just wish the awkwardness would go away.....
That is my struggle in every day life and in Gaming circles. Anyone else wish to continue and get it off their chest?It depends on whether or not I'm read as a trans woman. Back before hormone therapy, when I had trouble passing, I had to deal with stares and exclusion from a lot of public games, and endured a lot of giggles and angry glares at the game store (this was back in the south). It was stressful enough that I only gamed with my friends; I wouldn't do store games (or wouldn't come back to them) or cons.
Once I started hormones, people just took me for a tall cis woman, and while I've had to deal with plain-old-misogyny, the most frustrating thing I have to deal with are people I game with or otherwise like making crappy trans jokes right in front of me, not knowing I was the kind of person they were tell horrible jokes about. It makes it hard to like gaming with someone after they do that. If it gets bad, depending on whether I feel...
Thanks for the insight Crystal. And thank you to Artemis as well.
Mikaze |
Well, I'm not staying where I'm not wanted!
takes FF I-VI collection and storms out, pausing only to set black manliness to *hmph*
Take heart Freehold; a LOT of folks are drawn to the entire skin tone rainbow, from milky white to black as night.. :)
#RealLifeAasimars
also yes to that collection
Haladir |
Yuugasa wrote:Drejk wrote:Musical Interlude: I walk aloneYes! Bring the music back!I am pretty sure I linked it in this thread in the past. But I love that song too much not to do it again.
And possibly again in the future...
It came out more than 20 years after we'd started dating, but my wife and I both really feel that the following song described how we got together and our relationship...
Liranys |
It's interesting--we talked about sexuality at my HF autism group of females and most of us are not too, um, horny. Many are borderline asexuals. I think it's because so many aspies associate themselves with more the masculine than the feminine. However, when questioned further by the facilitator, aspie women of all adult ages stated that their sexuality was like a slider. Sometimes they felt more feminine and sometimes more masculine.
I attest to this. In church, I totally exercise my feminine side. Lots of skirts and little children and talk of families and such. I love it, it's one of my favorite reasons for going. On the other hand, I don't like NT women, I find them fickle and concerned about ridiculous things, especially outside of church women. Many aspies also tend to express more "masculine" emotions. For example, we don't all cry when presented with frustration, many just get mad. A reason proposed for the increased masculinity of the group was that so many aspie women were bullied and automatically fell into a script of aggression towards others. Of course, most of us find womanly pursuits uninteresting and tend towards other special interests, so that helps define our sexuality as well.
Wow, that is remarkably similar to me. Here's the huge difference. A) I was not diagnosed as Aspie until I was in my 30's. B) I am also Bi-Polar type 2, which means I don't get mad, I cry. In fact, I cry very easily.
However, I hated church most of the time from junior high on because I was picked on THERE too. I had no fashion sense, did not wear anything that was name brand and was extremely shy and awkward. I would have stopped going if it hadn't been for those 2 or 3 guys that were just really nice to me and never said anything bad to me. One of them actually chewed one of the girls out for being mean to me.
Usual Suspect |
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Not for me. I live with someone who is polyamorous (which is wrong, Latin and greek words should never be mixed)
I really don't understand what some people have against mixed linguistic relationships. Let the words mix as they will.
Usual Suspect |
Drejk wrote:I often do notice clues but cannot read what they actually mean. Or maybe it's just my luck that women who just like me are more prone to showing that than those that are actually interested in me. Probably some combination of both.You know the worst part of growing up unable to read those types of cues is how hurt you can get. I found out not that long ago that one of the guys that used to pick on me unrelentingly had a huge crush on me. That guy put me through so much emotional agony that I don't think I'd have been able to date him if he'd come out and said "I like you". I still have scars from guys like that in my past and it's probably part of what made me the way I am.
Wow, you just described my entire childhood. I always felt like everybody spoke a totally different emotional language than me when I was younger. I still have a really tough time reading people that I've known for years. Fortunately I have found a few, including my wife, that can read me well enough to see when I'm totally lost socially and getting ready to freak out with stress.
Kelsey Arwen MacAilbert |
GreatKhanArtist wrote:It's interesting--we talked about sexuality at my HF autism group of females and most of us are not too, um, horny. Many are borderline asexuals. I think it's because so many aspies associate themselves with more the masculine than the feminine. However, when questioned further by the facilitator, aspie women of all adult ages stated that their sexuality was like a slider. Sometimes they felt more feminine and sometimes more masculine.
I attest to this. In church, I totally exercise my feminine side. Lots of skirts and little children and talk of families and such. I love it, it's one of my favorite reasons for going. On the other hand, I don't like NT women, I find them fickle and concerned about ridiculous things, especially outside of church women. Many aspies also tend to express more "masculine" emotions. For example, we don't all cry when presented with frustration, many just get mad. A reason proposed for the increased masculinity of the group was that so many aspie women were bullied and automatically fell into a script of aggression towards others. Of course, most of us find womanly pursuits uninteresting and tend towards other special interests, so that helps define our sexuality as well.
Wow, that is remarkably similar to me. Here's the huge difference. A) I was not diagnosed as Aspie until I was in my 30's. B) I am also Bi-Polar type 2, which means I don't get mad, I cry. In fact, I cry very easily.
However, I hated church most of the time from junior high on because I was picked on THERE too. I had no fashion sense, did not wear anything that was name brand and was extremely shy and awkward. I would have stopped going if it hadn't been for those 2 or 3 guys that were just really nice to me and never said anything bad to me. One of them actually chewed one of the girls out for being mean to me.
F+~$ aspergers. Hate it. Ruined my childhood. Mom saw me as a fragile thing that needed to be protected at all costs because of that diagnosis, so being a kid was go to school, come home, and stay in the house for the rest of the day. The only time I got to go out and do things was with a parent, period. I still don't fully understand how to form actual relationships with people.
Kelsey Arwen MacAilbert |
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You know what irritates me? My school LGBT club. The members are mostly all cool, but the officers? A group of judgemental drama addicts who seem to have mistaken our college for high school. Plus, meetings are mostly discussion about LGBT topics, and the Secretary hates it when any of the more socially awkward members try to contribute. I'm strongly considering just not showing up anymore.
Terquem |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |
You know what irritates me? My school LGBT club. The members are mostly all cool, but the officers? A group of judgemental drama addicts who seem to have mistaken our college for high school. Plus, meetings are mostly discussion about LGBT topics, and the Secretary hates it when any of the more socially awkward members try to contribute. I'm strongly considering just not showing up anymore.
do what you can to be a force for good, don't give up. Show kindness and patience, and let that be your strength
Yuugasa |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
You know what irritates me? My school LGBT club. The members are mostly all cool, but the officers? A group of judgemental drama addicts who seem to have mistaken our college for high school. Plus, meetings are mostly discussion about LGBT topics, and the Secretary hates it when any of the more socially awkward members try to contribute. I'm strongly considering just not showing up anymore.
Yeah, nothing more annoying than when the people who are supposed to be your allies seem to have traveled here from the world of the movie Mean Girls
Yuugasa |
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I had an interesting conversation yesterday that really got me thinking.
I was talking to one of my best friends from back in the day(We were friends from quite young until 8th grade when our parents forcibly separated us for having a homosexual relationship but found each other as adults on social media and became friends again.) about the past and it got me wondering about several things.
He was talking about how funny it was that our families and peers were genuinely surprised when we were caught being intimate considering all the public stuff we had done prior to that.
At first I thought he was referring to our gender bending past, where as kids we would put on make up and dresses and run all over the neighborhood playing, to the laughter and delight of both our peers and adults who thought it was really funny(which is kinda interesting, considering it was a heavily Christian neighborhood with parents who were quite vocal about gender roles) and take our allowance to stores to buy stuff were we would easily pass as little girls.
But he said no and reminded me of some stuff I had literally forgotten about, like how when we would spend the night together at a sleep over we would spoon all night(which we did right up until the end) or how when we would play X-men or similar pretend games on the playground we would choose a male and female character to be and pretend to have a romantic relationship (in between fighting sentinels). The crowning point he made was the time at his birthday party when I was dressed as spiderman and he wonderwoman and we made out in front of everyone.
Heh...yeah... I guess there were "warning signs."
Anyway once we were caught being intimate the biggest clusterf~*% ever erupted. We were shamed, moved to different schools, forbidden to ever speak to each other and all the adults had a shocked and horrified "how could this ever have happened?!" attitude and all blamed each other.
Anyway to this day he has never done anything "gay" again despite not being straight and it is funny how both of us identify in public generally as "Straightish, cis men" when we both like at least certain types of men very much, he has, at the very least, a longing for wearing dresses and I have lucid dreams of being a woman sometimes so vivid and natural feeling that when I wake up and look in the mirror I am genuinely startled to see a man looking back.
Anyway, while I am happy in life now(various struggles aside) I do wonder how my life would have gone and how I would feel these days if I hadn't been outed at such a young age in so dramatic and traumatizing a manner then encouraged to adopt my families "bury this and never talk about it and we will pretend it never even happened." attitude.
Obviously we all learn and grow as we get older, things change and get better, but still...
...sigh.
Drejk |
The good: Dariusz Michalczewski, boxer, European Champion in light heavyweight division (whatever that would be...) appeared on equality conference declaring support to LGBT folks.
The bad: Soon thereafter owner of a Ciechan brewery publicly called that proof that boxing is detrimental to one's (implied mental) health finishing his facebook note with quite homophobic comment. No there was absolutely no reason for the brewery owner to comment on this... Except maybe wanting to present what a jerk he is, or topromote oneself on wave of homophobic hatred in relation to more famous name. Or both.
Result: There was public response of people decided to boycott the brewery. A shame really, because they make passably good honey beer (note: I hate beer, so "passable" from me about beer is the best note I might give).
Ambrosia Slaad |
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...finishing his facebook note with quite homophobic comment. No there was absolutely no reason for the brewery owner to comment on this... Except maybe wanting to present what a jerk he is, or to promote oneself on wave of homophobic hatred in relation to more famous name. Or both.
The farther along LGBT equality and acceptance seems to progress in society, the more vociferous and more insistent those opposed to it seem to get.
Rysky |
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Drejk wrote:...finishing his facebook note with quite homophobic comment. No there was absolutely no reason for the brewery owner to comment on this... Except maybe wanting to present what a jerk he is, or to promote oneself on wave of homophobic hatred in relation to more famous name. Or both.The farther along LGBT equality and acceptance seems to progress in society, the more vociferous and more insistent those opposed to it seem to get.
Stupid is as stupid does.
TanithT |
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Again, biological aberattion.
As Inigo Montoya said, I do not think this word means what you think it means. Please refrain from attempting to use the terms of science if you do not, in fact, know anything whatsoever about the field you are attempting to pontificate in.
The best research extant supports the theory that homosexuality is an important evolutionary feature, not a bug. The existence of same sex paired non reproductive but "economically" contributing adults in any group of social animals is actually a major factor in highly successful direct and lateral gene transmission and long term retention with higher survivability of offspring. Simple translation, social groups with a small but consistent percentage of homosexual pairings are more successful and survivable than those without any, so nature keeps them around on purpose. Homosexuality is, in every sense of the word, completely natural. It is irrational to state otherwise against the evidence, regardless of how you personally feel about it.
Humans can be LGBT due to biological/genetic aberration OR by higher levels of thought (things like Pansexuals are only capable in humans due to their utter disregard of sex over mental stimulation and compatibility)
You have absolutely no idea what you are saying here. Pansexuality has been very thoroughly documented in multiple species from chimpanzees to crocodilians, and in some cases serves a valuable social bonding function in those species.
Sexual orientation and gender identity may be grouped under the same social umbrella, but are very different things. There is, remotely, some justification in considering the reversal/interruption in hormonal cascades in fetu resulting in the development of differently gendered neural to physical architecture as an epigenetic aberration, but it's not an appropriate term either scientifically or socially to describe trans* persons. Please be aware of this, as it borders perilously on hurtful and offensive hate speech.
Liranys |
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Wow, you just described my entire childhood. I always felt like everybody spoke a totally different emotional language than me when I was younger. I still have a really tough time reading people that I've known for years. Fortunately I have found a few, including my wife, that can read me well enough to see when I'm totally lost socially and getting ready to freak out with stress.
You are very lucky to have found someone who can read you. I have friends that just accept me as a I am and don't even really look at me odd when I say something strange. But then, most of them know I have issues, I'm very open about it, now that I know they exist. It saves me a lot of pain down the road. They also understand when I don't want to go out somewhere. I avoid concerts like the plague because way too many people and too loud.
Liranys |
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KSF wrote:@Yuugasa, thanks for sharing that.Thanks for being supportive. As someone who has a hard time discerning what is appropriate to talk about in social situations I pretty much just say whatever is on my mind. Sometimes this causes problems. It's nice to be accepted rather than rejected.
Welcome to the "I don't have a filter" club. (Also known a Candor in the Divergent universe)
Artemis Moonstar |
Yuugasa wrote:Welcome to the "I don't have a filter" club. (Also known a Candor in the Divergent universe)KSF wrote:@Yuugasa, thanks for sharing that.Thanks for being supportive. As someone who has a hard time discerning what is appropriate to talk about in social situations I pretty much just say whatever is on my mind. Sometimes this causes problems. It's nice to be accepted rather than rejected.
Mind if I opt for a duster instead of a basic jacket?
I've a particularly bad habit of saying whatever's on my mind without thinking. Like sitting in a check point booth and leaving the barricade bar up while sleeping during rush hour.
I've taken to just not talking these days when stuff's goin' down. Annoys my gf to no end even though she understands it. Just worried about upsettin' her these days, which I seem to do a lot -_-.
One thing that makes me absolutely paranoid about going out these days. At least on the net I can re-read over what I said, lol. Feels kind of strange, having been so social when I was younger ^_^.
Ah well. Not that big a deal right now. I just want the jacket. And a realy good rootbeer float. Time to go check my kitchen!
Liranys |
Mind if I opt for a duster instead of a basic jacket?
I've a particularly bad habit of saying whatever's on my mind without thinking. Like sitting in a check point booth and leaving the barricade bar up while sleeping during rush hour.
I've taken to just not talking these days when stuff's goin' down. Annoys my gf to no end even though she understands it. Just worried about upsettin' her these days, which I seem to do a lot -_-.
One thing that makes me absolutely paranoid about going out these days. At least on the net I can re-read over what I said, lol. Feels kind of strange, having been so social when I was younger ^_^.
Ah well. Not that big a deal right now. I just want the jacket. And a realy good rootbeer float. Time to go check my kitchen!
There's a jacket? Why wasn't I told this!!!
And check your PMs :)EvilTwinSkippy |
Thanks for the welcomes. I'm doing good up here. *waves again*
*squints* You look just like Pixie Dust...
You noticed that too, eh?
I've lurked on this thread for awhile now, but never really found a good spot to jump in. A lot of what gets discussed here is US politics which, while interesting, doesn't apply to me all that much. I first came out as trans on this forum back in March (in another thread), thought it was time I said hi here. :)
Drejk |
no.... not.... VILLAIN KINDERGARTEN!!! *flashback to horrid magical... er..i mean... villain kindergarten*
Now, that would be a tough scenario. A band of murderhobos heroes ventures to thwart plans of evil league and finds themselves in kindergarten full of very young evildoers... Who are already deeply in embrace of the capital E evil.
TerminalArtiste |
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Seeing as how it's Sep. 23, aka Celebrate Bisexuality Day, I think I'll introduce myself.
I'm bisexual, living in the Cayman Islands. Local scene for both gaming and LGBTQ stuff is essentially nonexistent, which is why I'm - reluctantly - invisible today.
Terquem |
Seeing as how it's Sep. 23, aka Celebrate Bisexuality Day, I think I'll introduce myself.
I'm bisexual, living in the Cayman Islands. Local scene for both gaming and LGBTQ stuff is essentially nonexistent, which is why I'm - reluctantly - invisible today.
You look great to me! (as a person, this is not a come on)