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Help me annoy my GM


Advice

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Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

(Best read very, very fast): I played a gnome once who talked very quickly without stopping or using much in the way of punctuation and repeated himself frequently every time he opened his mouth to talk very fast if he had a point to make about anything and he would just go on and on talking and talking at high speeds like this circling back over the same points sometimes because when you talk fast sometimes people don't hear you well so you have to repeat yourself and he did it all in one breath whenever possible which is hard but I learned to breathe through my nose while I was talking out my mouth so he would make these complex suggestions for the group or to an NPC in a roundabout way but they were always pretty good suggestions because he was a high INT character and very thoughtful and smart and stuff so he wouldn't talk often but whenever he did it was like this all breathless and fast and tumbling you know and everyone tried to follow along but it got hard when he started... to... run... out... of... oxygen. (DEEP BREATH) His name was Glib.

Voice matters when playing a gnome, I think, but try to avoid the obnoxious falsetto that some players use. I actually quit a game once rather than listen to a guy who played a gnome in a nasal falsetto. Not cool.


Red pointy hat.

Witch.

Cook People.

Brownies.


beej67, That's more of a redcap than a gnome, I think.


I have a dual cursed (deaf and haunted) dark tapestry oracle, will all the gnome race traits swapped

he is nearly 7th level, CN and seeking C'thulus' return

He is very annoying....so much so he is beginning to annoy me with all his re-rolls and madness


Does your DM hate the oriental material from Ultimate Combat? If so, may I suggest a gnomish ninja-samurai. Make sure to speak in character.


Wolf Munroe wrote:
beej67, That's more of a redcap than a gnome, I think.

I was thinking more along the lines of EVIL KEEBLER ELF.

With EVIL COOKIES.


Detect Magic wrote:
Does your DM hate the oriental material from Ultimate Combat? If so, may I suggest a gnomish ninja-samurai. Make sure to speak in character.

why did i watch that all the way through???? why?

Sczarni

I currently play with another player who had the most amusing Gnome I've ever run into. "Nigel Neggabeggabob Fizzwhippit" (yes, his full name was just so,) was the most curious gnome alive, the subject didn't matter, he wanted to learn about it if it perked his interest. He always carried name cards with his full name on them- the cards then folded down and outwards to reveal it completely. He insisted on giving these cards to everyone he met, which lead to many different reactions.

He pulled pranks often- including once where he urinated in the public fountain, then told a man in a drunken stupor there was beer in the fountain, which the drunkard then proceeded to drink out of.

Best advice I can give is to go crazy with the gnome, everything is over the top, from inventions to even introduction. Be curious, blow things up on accident often, play pranks- go wild. Before you know it, you'll be a Gnome Gnome-one will ever forget about.


Pathfinder Companion, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Normally a thread like this is fertile trolling grounds for me, but I'm going to do what no one expects and simply ask why you would want to ruin your GM's day?

I mean, really? What's the point. I'm my group's GM. No one tries to annoy me because they're invested in the story we're trying to tell. Are you not invested in your group's story? Chances are that if you're annoying your GM, you're probably annoying one or two of your party members too.

I'm not telling to not play a gnome, but what I am warning you is that if you build your character solely around a ridiculous stereotype, you're going to get bored of him, your GM is going to be tired of him, and your players will be secretly plotting how to stab your little gnomish arse while your back is turned. And worse part, you'll be Metagaming because ultimately you'll want to help your players set up the kill against the little runt!


Golden-Esque wrote:

Normally a thread like this is fertile trolling grounds for me, but I'm going to do what no one expects and simply ask why you would want to ruin your GM's day?

I mean, really? What's the point. I'm my group's GM. No one tries to annoy me because they're invested in the story we're trying to tell. Are you not invested in your group's story? Chances are that if you're annoying your GM, you're probably annoying one or two of your party members too.

I'm not telling to not play a gnome, but what I am warning you is that if you build your character solely around a ridiculous stereotype, you're going to get bored of him, your GM is going to be tired of him, and your players will be secretly plotting how to stab your little gnomish arse while your back is turned. And worse part, you'll be Metagaming because ultimately you'll want to help your players set up the kill against the little runt!

i know it isn't my place to put words in the OPs mouth, but i think he's trying to prove that even the stereotype of the gnome that the GM hates can be fun and contribute meaningfully


BEST THREAD EVER!!!!


Convince the rest of the players to also play gnomes....

The running joke in our group is that if we ever get a TPK we are all rolling halflings (the GM hates halflings)

Same principle, different race :)


Dotted, because seriously this is my favourite. I've already made a Gnome Wizard for my next campaign using as many of these concepts as possible.

Shadow Lodge

If you're actually trying for a serious character to prove that Gnomes can be interesting to RP why not play one that has started to suffer from the bleaching. A Gnome fighter that's gotten jaded after all the destruction and death he's seen in his life and just doesn't really care anymore. The adventure could be his last attempt at reconnecting with life before just giving up on it all and fading away.

This concept only really works for characters over 4th level, Jaded soldiers (usually) aren't first level.

NB, I'm also presuming the bleaching is used in your game.


Have not just a first, middle and last name, but an assortment of at least one name for each letter in the alphabet, plus random meaningless titles.

Enforce a rigid ruleset that determines which of those is the appropriate name to call you by, depending on day of week, moonphase, surrounding mana level and social circumstances.

Bonus points if all your names are welsh/gaelic/cthuloid/similarly constructed so that noone has the slightest clue how to pronounce or write them right. Be disappointed if someone gets it wrong.

Change style and color of hair and clothing at least once a day (prestidigitation, alter self).

Kthulhu wrote:
Multiclass into GNinja. Yell furiously at anyone who forgets the silent G in GNinja.

Always explain to everyone that your family originally comes from the mythical lands of (already guessed it?) GNarnia. Silent G, of course.


Half-related... we once had a gnomish wizard who specialized in summoning of planar beings. Just in summoning. Not in controlling.

He once initiated the destruction of a marketplace (and half the town around it) because he thought it would be totally awesome to try out these new summoning formulae in his market tent. He actually thought it hadn't worked, disappointedly went out to talk to some PC. When his tent exploded behind him, green caustic smoke and the angry roar of the thing he set free flooded the place, he grinned wildly and happily shouted something along the lines of "and yet it worked!" - someone had to grab and carry him away because he wanted to "study" the creature instead of fleeing...


I am reminded of one of the most infamous characters ever played at our table. He wasn't a gnome... He was a brownie inspired by Elan from OotS. But close enough. He played a bard and used bard song to inspire us any time he felt the skill roll needed boosting... which seemed to be frequently. He fully acted out the performance in real life, complete with horrible singing. The last straw fell when he tried to inspire us to sneak better by singing along with full banjo music his bard song... while we were trying to slip unnoticed past a lich's lair. Obviously the music woke the lich. We drew our weapons as one and CHARGED against our mortal enemy! (The bard was our target not the lich.) He ran from us and we chased him into a trap filled hall. Alas he nobly sacrificed himself in order to clear away the traps so we could escape the lich's wrath. We remember him fondly. Ok in reality he simply ran through every trap in the hall blindly setting them all off. But it is best to remember the dearly departed for their best traits not their worst. ;)


Try a sorcerer with the fey bloodline. Or you could have the wildblooded version of it. At 15th level you basically become a fairy. Either way you should check out Gnomes of Golarion so you can really get a feel for Gnomes.

Andoran

wondering if Eidolon's can take leadership since they don't have Character level seven...

Screw it! Far too cool for silly things like rules to apply

*cackles evily*

Andoran

Play a Half-Orc Bard who thinks he is a gnome and refuses to believe and gets really angry at anyone who tells him otherwise. Then act as gnome-like as you can, including doing everything listed in this thread (I recommend keeping a secret checklist and updated it after every session).

Cheliax

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Tales Subscriber

Combining this thread with another thread I would go for something completely different and create a tiny feral gnome barbarian that is always launching itself into combat snarling and foaming at the mouth. Perhaps dress him like a midget wresler with a mask ala that Jack Black movie whose name I can not recal. You could even take leadership and have a large cohort who could throw him into combat...

Cheliax

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Tales Subscriber

But if you really want an annoying character I would go for bugbear bard...with a tiny ukulele...perhaps he could be the gnome barbarians cohort

Andoran

NOONE EXPECTS THE GNOMISH INQUISITION!!

Mostly harmless, mildly irritating, and highly likely to go for the knees!

Taldor

The gnomish illusionist is the classic case, and is always fun. Never be where people think you are. :P Especially when they think you're wandering into where a trap might be - perhaps they'll be kind enough to follow the illusion and set it off themselves, saving you the trouble.

Andoran

Just incase I missed it being said, but ever considered "David the Gnome". Gnomish druid with a hat that is a complete pacifist and complete capable of being mistaken for a lawn ornament while secretly a member of the Gnome Syndicate, an order of fairykind responsible for thwarting evil around the mystical world and suburban homes everywhere.
See the following:
The Gnome Syndicate


James B. Cline wrote:
Talk in third person

That's always fun, but it just annoys EVERYBODY.


Remind everyone IC and OOC about the silent G in front of anything starting with an N sound. So so with a straight face and completely seriously. And often.


Start a serious philosophical discussion with a good aligned NPC cleric. Gradually work in lyrics from "What if God was one of us?" (Alanis Morissette version) but without singing at all.

Play as a bard. Insist on playing the Sanford and Son theme (long version) whenever bardic music is in effect. When GM complains, switch to the theme from Night Court.

Take 1 rank of engineering. Assign set values to non-standard measurements (e.g., 1 story = ten feet exactly). If the GM uses a non-standard measurement to describe a structure then assume that it is *exactly* a multiple of the set value you assigned to it, even "correcting" him when he gives a more exact measure.


darth_borehd wrote:
Make sure your name is spelled with a silent "Q" and get upset when people do not pronounce it.

Oh, come on. That would be gnearly absurd.

What you gneed to do is to use the traditional gnomish accent. Then play a gninja or a gnecromancer. Possibly a gnobleman...

(And I gnotice that Darigaaz the Igniter has gninja'ed me. Oh, well.)


Humphrey Boggard wrote:

Start a serious philosophical discussion with a good aligned NPC cleric. Gradually work in lyrics from "What if God was one of us?" (Alanis Morissette version) but without singing at all.

Play as a bard. Insist on playing the Sanford and Son theme (long version) whenever bardic music is in effect. When GM complains, switch to the theme from Night Court.

Take 1 rank of engineering. Assign set values to non-standard measurements (e.g., 1 story = ten feet exactly). If the GM uses a non-standard measurement to describe a structure then assume that it is *exactly* a multiple of the set value you assigned to it, even "correcting" him when he gives a more exact measure.

and describe the amount of sugar content in food and drinks using cadbury eggs

Shadow Lodge

Gnome Cavalier that rides an Ostrich, and uses an invisible lance in combat. Either that, or a lance with something odd impaled on it, like a stuffed doll.

Gnome alchemist with remote bomb and high sleight of hand score, so he can plant remote bombs in their pockets. I would imagine him wearing a kettle helmet, goggles, a scarf, and singed leather armor. Smells like burning. Also, fireworks. Lots and lots of craft alchemy checks to make bigger, better fireworks.

A gnome summoner that only summons creatures to beat them with a mallet because he is completely insane. His eidolon would be quite mad after appearing every day to be beaten with a hammer.

Shadow Lodge

Gnome Broodmaster, get as many eidolons as possible, all small bipeds with ranks in perform (dance) and the evolution skilled (perform (dance)). Have the gnome wear a hat of disguise to look like his eidolons. The gnome will end up having a higher perform dance check than the eidolons by the time he gets the hat, true seeing, detect magic and working out which one is the better dancer are the only ways that the other party members can work out which one is the real gnome. Dance when ever possible.

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