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Those crazy characters.


Pathfinder RPG General Discussion


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This is a discussion about the most silliest and/or ridiculous characters you've seen played. One of my friends played a half vampire in 4e and he was convinced that his character had to act like a savage. We were playing a heroic campaign. He even ripped the head off a head of a dead guard and started to drink the blood from it in front of the captain of the guard. Another funny character was a rogue with no ranks in stealth, disable device, or perception. This rogue also had a flaming weapon which he tried to stealth with on. I've also seen a paladin will a penalty to cha and int try to walk down some stairs on their mount.


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I haven't actually had a chance to play him yet, but I once made a character that I nicknamed "The Shoulder".

He's a human Barbarian who is very big, brutish, and unintelligent. He tries to solve everything by hitting it- with either his preferred weapon (armor spikes, preferably those on his shoulder) or with his back-up weapon (a greatclub that was once the arm of a statue- he hits the enemies with the part that was once the statue's shoulder). When asked for a solution to a problem, his go-to response is to yell, "The Shoulder!" and then hit something. In fact, this is his response to pretty much any question or statement. His party members aren't entirely sure he knows any words other than those two.

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I had another character concept (never played either) that I thought was clever. He was named Captain Jack (or something else pirate-sounding)- the story being that he was a pirate captain who was shipwrecked or mutineed or whatever, and stranded on a desert island. He prayed to the goddess of pirates (her name escapes me) and asked her for a ship that could rescue him from his cursed place and allow him to take vengeance on those who wronged him. Just then, he saw a demonic ship off in the distance- so far off it looked tiny- and praised his goddess for sending him rescue. Except as he watched it get closer, and closer, and closer, he realized that it wasn't very far away at all- the ship was four feet long, complete with a tiny demonic crew of pirates manning the sails and everything. Well, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Captain Jack hopped on top of the tiny ship (which was luckily able to support his weight) and they rode off towards home.

The character was a summoner- a summoner whose eidolon took the form of a (comically tiny) pirate ship. It would use the serpentine base form, and its attacks would be described as its tiny cannons or harpoons launched by the tiny demonic crew. It would start with a swim speed and a climb speed, eventually gaining a fly speed (yet always looking like it was traveling through water, even when it was moving across land or up a wall or through the air) and as it got larger (with the large or huge size evolutions) eventually it would be big enough for Captain Jack to squeeze himself into the captain's quarters (though even at its largest, it would be nowhere near the size of a real ship, and even his quarters would be a hilariously tight fit- so his head would probably stick out the door, the bed would be big enough for his leg to fit on, etc).


Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Roleplaying Game, Tales Subscriber

Someone once played a werewolf-tanari-beholder-lich wich I think was also pregnant with the child of the blood god in a campaign I also played in many years ago. It was pretty crazy, but also fun.


We don't typically introduce blood god pregnancies in our campaigns. However that does sound interesting.


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@UltimaGabe: If you don't use Cpt Jack, someone else will. And by "someone else", I mean "I".

My favorite character was from my favorite little homebrew campaign where our party was highly religious: Gob Quixote the goblin paladin of Sarenrae. Gob had tried to raid a temple of Sarenrae a few years earlier and had unwittingly set a whole world-shattering series of events into motion. The old cleric and paladin couple who ran the temple took pity on him when he was ditched by the rest of his raiding party and turned his life around. He ended up joining a party consisting of a Monk, a flame mystery Oracle, an Inquisitor, and a greatsword-wielding paladin who had the most ungodly (sorry) stats due to rolling more 6's than I've ever seen during character creation (seriously, I memorized them: 18, 17, 17, 16, 14, 12).

Gob rode a boar named Rocksteady and used a crossbow. Gob was pretty weak at first and was mostly comic relief; but by level 10, his raw damage output was second only to the superhero paladin. I played him as filled with child-like enthusiasm for spreading the good word and righting wrongs (both great and small). He lacked Intelligence and would throw himself into danger for a good cause without hesitation. He viewed himself as a legendary hero in-the-making and seemed almost oblivious to the suspicion and fear of others for his goblin-ness. He also had a gigantic crush on the flame mystery oracle. Unfortunately for Gob, the oracle was a snooty nobleman's daughter who was cursed directly because of Gob's mess-up and resented having to go on this quest and give up her frilly lifestyle. The monk was the oracle's bodyguard and had taken to writing a book based on our adventures, so she loved the drama that Gob Quixote inadvertently caused.

I had so much fun with that character that I'm seriously considering playing him again.

The funniest character which I didn't play was while I was DMing. This 6' 6" 300 lb guy played a female halfling arcane trickster of some sort who always pretended to be a little girl while in public to throw off suspicion. That would have been fun enough, but his character believed that human little girls all wanted to be fairy princesses and would act accordingly. He was just WAY too good at it.


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Frau Hilda - A hulking barbarian-ess, originally from an Amazon dimension where men are seen and not heard and massive women warriors do battle for honor. We'd roll into a village and ask to speak to whom was in charge. The mayor would come out and Frau Hilda would say, "No. We want to talk to the mayor, go get your wife (intimidating barbarian stare)".

(Opponent misses with thrown spear) "Ha! You throw like a tiny manling!"
(Appraising an enemy warrior) "Hmmm barely strong enough to do the dishes and clean my sheets. Come back when you can hold a sword big enough for a woman."


Ears the half-elf barbarian. This was 2e so it was actually a fighter that I played as a barbarian. Ears as he was originally known was incrediably touchy about his heratiage and any slights to his elven features. In the first few minutes of playing him he had aready knocked out someone chasing down the parties thief (also a half-elf who had not even met in character yet). The thief had picked the poor guy's pocket but not well enough to get away so the guy was chasing the rogue screaming about him being a half breed. Ears assumed the guy was talking to him jumped up and bellowed, "who you calling a half breed." One punch. The dwarf for this started calling Ears "Senseless." His name changed easily 5 or 6 times in the first session.


Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

a friendplayed a summoner, and his E was a big biped creature called Pigman. He impregnated a pig, and we made it our mission to take the best care we could of that pig. It ended up having a litter of abominations that we cared for, and gave all the best we food we could.


Did the pigs taste good after you raised them?


Synthesists. (Enough said)


Neutral evil Changeling Assassin who enjoyed torturing people while dressed in leather. Worshiped Loviatar. Most memorable moments included impersonating a demon captain to play cards with the guards while the rest of the party tried to find the evil wizard trapping us in a city that was flickering in and out of the Shadowfell. There was also an encounter which she scoped out the whole level by stealth climbing across the ceiling, located all the hostiles before imitative. (She had climb = her speed as an at-will move action power).

I also had a Dwarf slayer that became obsessed with getting bloodied in combat since that gave a bunch of bonuses to him when he was. He had a weapon that bloodied him on purpose so he could activate magic items that gave him free attacks. He also came up with hugely zany ideas that half the time the rest of the party facepalmed at. Once, he charged through a hex of exploding barrels just to get to charge an enemy with his Surprise round (the exploding barrels missed the slayer but hit the enemy funny enough. Also, he screamed OH YEAAAAAH). Another time, he threw a grappling hook on a floating aberration and pulled it down to the ground so he could fight in melee with it.


friend of mine was stuck for a character, so decided to roll up a bard. he decided she'd be female, just cause he could, then picked up calistria as her goddess to bring out her elven side (half elf). so to honor his god he decided to use her favored weapon, which bards were already proficient with: the whip. then to armour. he wanted to use a chain shirt, but it was out of his price range so he ended up with studded leather.
i made a comment about his choices, and... well, i think you can guess where it went from there. it's only funny, crazy and memorable because each choice, in and of itself, was innocent enough. they just combined to become a character who was far from innocent.


We once had a bard like that as well. His dice rolls where all over the place.

The session he introduced himself he hit one of our party members in the back (shooting into melee and botching). When we looked who was shooting us from behind, he threw his bow away and pointed towards a dead goblin "I got him guys!".


Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

My full orc barbarian is one of my favorite out there characters. His name is Gromm, and he worships the God Gromm. He and his god are not the same entity, he just took up the name, and then yelled at people that they needed to worship Gromm as well. The DM and the other PCs didnt know what to think of me and my character at first, but by the end of Gromms time in the party he had gathered a following, although he ignored them more often then not. Oh and Gromm pretty much never kept a weapon. He thew his first weapon at an enemy, and then picked up said enemies body to kill the rest that stood in his way. From that battle onward, Gromm would carry whatever weapon he had last picked up, until he threw it at someone else, and then would find something new after.

Grand Lodge

Never actually managed to play him (campaign peetered out), but I once had a Summoner named "Shadow." The guy was dead set on taking over the world, and basically behaved as the stereotypical,mustache-twirling, monologging, scenery chewing, maniacal laughter, pit trap bad guy...thing is, he was REALLY bad at it. As in, no matter how evil he pretended to be, he'd always end up being helpful in some way, and would have people pointing out to him that, say, getting a kid's cat down from a tree for them is not classified as "evil." The guy was funny as hell to consider...too bad the campaign ended...

Andoran

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

Brewer gnome cleric. Constantly drunk, when the party was attacked in the night, he summoned earth elementals on the second floor of the inn. When their weight collapsed the building, he had them save everyone, including the assailants. When the guards arrived and asked what happened, he blamed the damage on the captured foes.

He remembered nothing about it the next morning.

Cheliax

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Fighter with hemophobia (fear of blood) but still wields a greatsword or greataxe (thus maximizing blood spray)

Goes completely neurotic after every fight and spends a good hour cleaning himself.

Thought of this after a friend who had a tendency to make neurotic/clean-freak characters but always made them "non-combatants" such as foppish bards and healing clerics.

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Dwarven Cleric who was obsessed with his own made up god (DM only knows how he got his magic). Got shipwrecked, and while shipwrecked "converted" the other shipwreck survivors (with the exception of the other players) to his religion. Ran around with 20 level 1 commoner "converts" exploring the dungeon on the island. Most of them died horribly. Good times were had by all, except the converts... I don't think they enjoyed it.

(Also he was a very important Dwarf, he had a tower)

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Will post more as I remember them.

Taldor

the character was a theory, but never put into practice due to ridiculousness.

ranged attack fighter/summoner specializing in improvised throwing weapon - Cat. He would collect (or summon in the absence of) in a bag of holding a large number of cats. his attack round would consist of reaching in the bag and hurling very angry cats.

Taldor

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I never got to play my wood-element goblin. "I'm a real boy!"


I played in a 2ed game way back in the day that had a storm giant fighter with 6 arms in the party. The dm was letting him use two great swords and throw rocks each round. Lol


I had one time where I hid under a wagon for the entire combat as a rogue because I would of died otherwise. Rogues are too squishy for melee characters in our campaigns.


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Little halfling caught out on a cloudy day watched the skies and saw storm giants throwing lightning bolts and boulders, thought it would be fun to be a storm giant. He prayed and a capricious god heard and granted him all the abilities of a storm giant - strength and everything... but he was still halfling-sized. He became the world's first and only Storm Midget.


A buddy of mine is playing a kobold barbarian/oracle in the campaign I'm running. He is devoted to the god Grist, a silver dragon that was originally the king of the shrews. When the gnome fire-sorcerer was dominated and then killed the kobold saved his sole.

Yup.


In my early 1e days of gaming I played a half human/half succubus illusionist/assassin. She was the daughter of my anti-paladin and a succubus. I can't remember her name, but the DM who created her said she had to collect the penises of every man she killed and wear them around her neck or waist.


Favorite SILLY character I ever played: Armand of the Red Cape. It was a 2e game in a homebrew port city. Armand was a fancy-lad half-elf magic user and wannabe pirate. As his name suggests he wore a huge, brilliant red cape.

The fun came not from him (I used a bold voice and blunt delivery style; modeled after superman) but from his familiar: a French parrot named Henri.

The 2 liked disagreeing in character. What's worse was when Armand would miss a roll (happened often) Henri would belittle him in an accent stolen from the 2 French soldiers on the tower in Monty Python's the Holy Grail. "Armand, you silly rat-sqirt; you meesed by a mile! Go back home and learn sew if you're going to fight like a grandmother!"

Other weird characters I've had: a Barrier Mage - a 2e hybrid of rogue and magic user whose spells are all based around either making or defeating physical barriers. He was charmed by a succubus adventure 1, scene 1 (in his own dream) and the ONE time I didn't show up to the game I was turned into a vampire against my will. My GM back in the day favored dark worlds.

Then there was yet another 2E guy; a halfling fighter w/a maul named Benarin "Rin" Stouthammer. He was very direct about everything, grew up as a peasant and took the starting package of a halfling homesteader so his adventures revolved around establishing a new home for his folk. He was fun because at 16th level we went through baba yaga's hut. EVERY door he came to he just smashed with either his hammer or a shoulder. In the final fight he had a power that let him act at negative hit points and while the rest of the party was pinned by centrifigal force I clawed my way to the center of the chamber and shut off the hut so we could solve the module. More epic than silly, but who cares. After the game was over my GM gave out awards with the loot and xp; I got the "door smasher" award.

In recent times the silliest PC I've had was a 1/2 ogre Rogue with a 13 int that acted like a savage on purpose just to throw people off. He was actually highly cultured (Diplomacy focused), a vegetarian (meaning he didn't eat PEOPLE) and as a special attack he kept a halfling on a tether so he could throw him into a fight and reel him back.


Although I never got to play it, I have a particularly funny character. Many of you have seen the Were-Cube I came up with, but heres the story behind.

At one point, my tiefling cleric talked the party monk into kidnapping a bunch of random people and selling their souls to a devil. Using the rules from Book of the Damned 1, I decided to apply a template to my character, and I settled on natural lycanthrope. Unable to decide on which animal to choose, the gaming group and I were looking through the Bestiary. We came up with some crazy ones, like were-guinea pig and were-giraffe, but then we stumbled upon the Gelatinous Cube. We all had a great laugh at that. Imagine that:

Were-cube: "You wouldn't want to see me on a full moon.....oh no! *sneeze followed by loud, gurgling noise*, BWAHH I r cube-man!!!"

I also had an Ogre mage character in a 3.5 game once. I was using a slann mage priest model from warhammer (if you don't know what that is, imagine a humanoid toad Buddha). We were faced with a large ledge, and I decided that I should use my mental power of ogreshness to levitate across. The GM said I needed to roll a bluff check, and amazingly, I passed. Therefore I managed this amazing feat. Never doubt the power of the ogre mind...........


In the first room of "The worlds largest dungeon" we meet an orc and force him to guide us through the bits he knows, in the third room my dwarf ranger dies...

I roll up MacDuff (as in "lead on...") the orc barbarian, room 10(ish) i pick up a +2 holy greatsword, room 34(ish) an inevitable(que KimJongIll accent from team america) tasks us with killing 3 greater barghests, in the next room we spot some barghests and everyone breaks into an inpromptu planning chat while i yell "charge, rage, cleave, great cleave!".

Ah good times. Can't believe i survived.


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2nd ed. I had a halfling with a bag of (black market) walmart holding. I could pretty much reach in and within a round or two I could pull out whatever was needed at that point. At one point I pulled out a jackhammer to dig thru a shelf of rock (the air hose trailed back into the bag). Same character didnt use weapons. He used a serving fork and spoon to parry and trip his opponents if he had to. He used grease and entangling bags to get away from enemies. Great thief, horrible combatant.


Currently in the design phase, this one... But oh GOD am I looking forward to it.

Halfling Rogue, which then goes into Halfling Opportunist... However, he takes EVERY halfling feat (the initial idea)... Childlike, Lucky Halfling (decided that the luck bonus was better than the jinx), Pass for Human, and Well-Prepared. After reading what all of them did, I came up with the idea of a Halfling who passed himself off as a human child, was incredibly lucky, and seems to have just what the party always needs... So I came up with the following scene I would LOVE to have play out. This would definitely be a character for a home game.

---
Interior, bad guy wizard's lab, the evil wizard monologues to himself as the 'petty heroes' make their way through his castle keep. They are nearly upon his main laboratory! He busies himself in his arrogance, trying to figure out a way that would be most enjoyable to defeat them. There is a small tug on the sleeve of his robe. He looks down, to find a human child of all things! Why, it looks to be only four, maybe five years old! The youth has tears in his eyes, and a thumb in his mouth.

Child: Escuse me.. I'm loost... Can you help me? There are so many big scaries that keep twying to EAT ME!

The wizard is astonished! He hadn't seen this youth in his scryings. Why, this child merely popped up out of nowhere! He really needed to find better guards if a child can get into his lair unharmed. Damn kids always on his lawn.... Still, he wasn't a totally heartless bastard, he agrees (failed sense motive vs player's skill checks), but must first deal with bad men trying to ruin his grand master plan... Hell, perhaps he could even train the boy to be an apprentice... Or at least use him for an experiment later.

As he turns to deal with the party who just tried to bust the door down, catching him entirely by surprise... The youth bashed him from behind! (Flat-footed, sneak attack, Underhanded talent, max damage!). The party bursts down the door, the child screams and starts flailing away with the stuffed animal full of bits of wood and heavy metal (improvised weapon feats). The wizard is taken down a few rounds later, and the party cleric pulls the youth to the side.

Cleric: How many times must we tell you not to go wandering off like that!

Sneaky Halfling: Otayy!

As the halfling clings to his/her leg of the cleric that 'adopted' him, the party is none the wiser that the child they picked up is actually just a very sneaky halfling, posing as a child, and dealing with evil as it came....
----

Basically, roleplay out the halfling who pulls the childlike thing off on EVERYBODY, including his own party, at least until later on in game when someone finds out. While wielding "Mr. Huggles", his stuffed animal with inner lining of chain mail with very heavy wood and metal bits inside to give it the weight appropriate to a club-like improvised weapon (for use against beasts and other ultimate evil or mindless creatures). He will never use, if he can help it, real weaponry, to further the illusion of being a human child. And, given his 'lucky halfling' feat, he'll just be lucky to have around.

I'm still working on a build, but the situations that can occur with such a character. So funny just to think about them.


@AM: dip into cad archtype fighter for a few levels. the extra feats won't hurt, but the big thing is that cads get massive bonuses with improvised weapons and dirty trick manuvers. smacking the baddie in the groin with Mr Huggles (its about the only place you can reach) is bad enough, but add the razor-sharp chair leg ability or just call it a dirty trick and daze him for a bit and you're going to seriously bring the pain to the poor bad man!


Half-elf paladin of Torag. Enough said.


Werewolf barbarian, first session, he tries to stalk and scare a team of crack Molthunian agents while they were at rest in a copse of trees. Because, he thought he was such a bad arse and better than each of them.

They formed up, worked out where he was, shelled him, took him alive, buried him up to his neck, asked his some questions when he woke up. He refused to explain he could be on their side, and opted to transform while neck deep in earth, with many weapons pointed at his head.

Dead.


Was playing in a game once, (I wasn't the DM for once), and a guy comes to the table with a sort of greek-roman-amazon-warrior type character named "Diaria" - pronounced "die-uh-ree-uh". I think most of us thought it was a pretty weird joke, since the guy was a pretty comitted roleplayer, the character didn't appear to in any other way be a joke, and the guy's sense of humor didn't really lean in that direction. I guess everyone just decided to roll with it, since nobody said anything. I remember trying to suppress laughter when saying the character's name, waiting for the guy to reveal what on earth he'd been thinking.

About fifteen minutes in, the guy's mouth drops open.

"Oh. Ooooh. Can, I, uh, change my name?"

No big reveal. He just hadn't noticed what the characters name was homophonous with.


The most recent character in my memory is Franc.

My GM loves the idea of the variant teifling rules from Council of Thieves, and so I was able to use them to become a powerhouse of complexity and obscurity. I managed to roll Androgynous on the teifling physical characteristics table, and took the class Sorcerer (dual bloodline abberant and maestro).

I set my bac kstory as being from Tian where my character was a prominent geisha and entertainer...the only thing is, with my masterwork disguise kits, traits and almost ever feat I could get my hands on to increase disguise (to a respectable +18 at 5th level without using the disguise kits or change self spell), I specifically played the character as androgynous as possible, to the point that other characters were trying to get my character to bathe with them, just so that they may be able to tell...but unfortunately...they still could not.

It wasn't until character death that the party finally found out what sex my character truly was (in this case male) which made a lot of the party look across the gaming at me with a strange look in their eyes, and one even asking me "WHY? O.o"

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