paizo.com Recent Posts in The Unsheathed Revolutionpaizo.com Recent Posts in The Unsheathed Revolution2012-03-24T20:21:56Z2012-03-24T20:21:56ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionRonarsCorruptionhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#452012-04-04T13:33:16Z2012-04-04T13:33:16Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">James Olchak wrote:</div><blockquote> ... It's always better for someone to find something to address in your work, then it is to have them say nothing...</blockquote><p>So very true.James Olchak wrote:... It's always better for someone to find something to address in your work, then it is to have them say nothing...
So very true.RonarsCorruption2012-04-04T13:33:16ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionAsk A RPGSupersuccubus (alias of Charles Evans 25)https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#442012-04-03T21:59:16Z2012-04-03T21:59:16Z<p>Dear Oamu the Monk,
<br />
Congratulations on reaching the top four. At this point, you have won the true prize, of getting to write a Pathfinder Society module, perhaps to be played and cursed by players years from now at conventions, whilst a certain badger (or at least that's his avatar at the time of this post) gets to stress about writing a 32 page module.
<br />
The highlight of your works in this contest for me was the FBPDGSH missing out on the illegal poker game in the basement of the antiquities store because it could only be accessed by a concealed elevator...
<br />
Anyway, best wishes for the future. </p>
<p>Ask A RPGSupersuccubus.</p>Dear Oamu the Monk,
Congratulations on reaching the top four. At this point, you have won the true prize, of getting to write a Pathfinder Society module, perhaps to be played and cursed by players years from now at conventions, whilst a certain badger (or at least that's his avatar at the time of this post) gets to stress about writing a 32 page module.
The highlight of your works in this contest for me was the FBPDGSH missing out on the illegal poker game in the basement of the antiquities...Ask A RPGSupersuccubus (alias of Charles Evans 25)2012-04-03T21:59:16ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionAmbrosia Slaadhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#432014-12-29T19:08:20Z2012-04-03T18:29:48Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">James Olchak wrote:</div><blockquote>I would have loved to provide other illustrations throughout the competition, but it was prohibited! Waaah! </blockquote><p>I think Wayfinder #7 is still looking for art submissions and a Paizo Fans United logo. :)James Olchak wrote:I would have loved to provide other illustrations throughout the competition, but it was prohibited! Waaah!
I think Wayfinder #7 is still looking for art submissions and a Paizo Fans United logo. :)Ambrosia Slaad2012-04-03T18:29:48ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionJacob W. Michaelshttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#422012-04-03T16:55:24Z2012-04-03T16:55:24Z<p>Thank goodness, James. Otherwise I'd have had to do an invisible monster so my stick figure didn't get me disqualified. Of course, a stick figure might've gone over better than my actual submitted monster. : (</p>
<p>As far as your proposal, I loved the idea of something in Galt. Like a few others have said, I think I'd have loved to see you do something MORE with the intelligent weapons. I think the idea of making the <i>final blade</i> itself (and I LOVED the name you gave the blade, btw) the BBEG would have been really neat and a twist that no one would have seen coming. Would be an interesting parallel to the fact that these weapons' simple existence almost makes them villainous in the region for the way they're used.</p>Thank goodness, James. Otherwise I'd have had to do an invisible monster so my stick figure didn't get me disqualified. Of course, a stick figure might've gone over better than my actual submitted monster. : (
As far as your proposal, I loved the idea of something in Galt. Like a few others have said, I think I'd have loved to see you do something MORE with the intelligent weapons. I think the idea of making the final blade itself (and I LOVED the name you gave the blade, btw) the BBEG would...Jacob W. Michaels2012-04-03T16:55:24ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionJames Olchakhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#412012-04-03T16:12:16Z2012-04-03T16:12:16Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Veiled Nail wrote:</div><blockquote> <div class="messageboard-quotee">James Olchak wrote:</div><blockquote>....<i>I went to art school.</i>...</blockquote>I doubt that this surprises anyone who has seen your cartography. </blockquote><p>I would have loved to provide other illustrations throughout the competition, but it was prohibited! Waaah!Veiled Nail wrote:James Olchak wrote:....I went to art school....
I doubt that this surprises anyone who has seen your cartography. I would have loved to provide other illustrations throughout the competition, but it was prohibited! Waaah!James Olchak2012-04-03T16:12:16ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionVeiled Nail (alias of Acris Cincinnatus)https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#402012-04-03T16:07:22Z2012-04-03T16:07:22Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">James Olchak wrote:</div><blockquote>....<i>I went to art school.</i>...</blockquote><p>I doubt that this surprises anyone who has seen your cartography.James Olchak wrote:....I went to art school....
I doubt that this surprises anyone who has seen your cartography.Veiled Nail (alias of Acris Cincinnatus)2012-04-03T16:07:22ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionJames Olchakhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#392012-04-04T13:32:06Z2012-04-03T16:04:08Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Urizen wrote:</div><blockquote><p> Thanks for not taking it <i>too</i> harshly, James. There is an underlying satirical subtlety that inspired me to point it out in that manner, but again I prefaced it with what was going on in my head based on the past several months for me to extract such from what I'm reading. </p>
<p>Not that I buy into the complete Freudian / Jungian theory about symbolism, but a part of me did wonder whether you have - at any point in your life - gotten anywhere near the works of Rand or contemporaries. Some of us are guilty at times when influences from other individuals creep into our compositions w/o us being cognitively aware of it at the forefront.
<br />
</blockquote><p>I took sociology, psychology, and philosophy in college, but that was years and years ago. I couldn't tell you the difference between a Jungian archetype and a cheese danish. A girl I had a severe crush on loaned me <i>The Fountainhead</i> when I was in high school, and I got 300 pages in, before realizing I had no idea what I was reading. So it's fair to say I'm not super aware of Randian philosophies.
<p>But yeah, I just liked that I wrote something that <i>seemed</i> like it had some subtext. An author has to be able to stir things in a reader—it's a good thing, as far as I'm concerned. It's a plus to get people thinking about your work, finding threads and tugging on them, as it were, even if the the threads don't lead where they expect.</p>
<p>And criticism doesn't hurt my feelings, <i>I went to art school.</i> It's always better for someone to find something to address in your work, then it is to have them say nothing. If people are talking about your art, you've succeeded in engaging them, on some level. Getting people to have an opinion about your work is the first step to getting them to have a <i>positive</i> opinion.</p>Urizen wrote:Thanks for not taking it too harshly, James. There is an underlying satirical subtlety that inspired me to point it out in that manner, but again I prefaced it with what was going on in my head based on the past several months for me to extract such from what I'm reading.
Not that I buy into the complete Freudian / Jungian theory about symbolism, but a part of me did wonder whether you have - at any point in your life - gotten anywhere near the works of Rand or contemporaries....James Olchak2012-04-03T16:04:08ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionUrizenhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#382012-04-03T14:34:18Z2012-04-03T14:34:18Z<p>Thanks for not taking it <i>too</i> harshly, James. There is an underlying satirical subtlety that inspired me to point it out in that manner, but again I prefaced it with what was going on in my head based on the past several months for me to extract such from what I'm reading. </p>
<p>Not that I buy into the complete Freudian / Jungian theory about symbolism, but a part of me did wonder whether you have - at any point in your life - gotten anywhere near the works of Rand or contemporaries. Some of us are guilty at times when influences from other individuals creep into our compositions w/o us being cognitively aware of it at the forefront. </p>
<div class="messageboard-quotee">James Olchak wrote:</div><blockquote> sometimes a sword is just a sword. </blockquote><p>"That's not what SHE said!"
<p>;-)</p>Thanks for not taking it too harshly, James. There is an underlying satirical subtlety that inspired me to point it out in that manner, but again I prefaced it with what was going on in my head based on the past several months for me to extract such from what I'm reading.
Not that I buy into the complete Freudian / Jungian theory about symbolism, but a part of me did wonder whether you have - at any point in your life - gotten anywhere near the works of Rand or contemporaries. Some of us are...Urizen2012-04-03T14:34:18ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionRonarsCorruptionhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#372012-04-03T14:12:13Z2012-04-03T14:12:13Z<p>While there is often symbolism in a writer's work, it's funny how easily someone can read more into it than the author ever intended.</p>While there is often symbolism in a writer's work, it's funny how easily someone can read more into it than the author ever intended.RonarsCorruption2012-04-03T14:12:13ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionJames Olchakhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#362012-04-05T06:00:01Z2012-04-03T12:01:06Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Urizen wrote:</div><blockquote><p> It's probably me because I've just taken a philosophy and sociology course back to back the previous two quarters and I get this whole phallocentricism feminist perspective as if Ayn Rand hooked up with Andrea Dworkin to come up with this to tap in a commentary about the 60's counter culture sexual revolution and how it concludes in a radical reinterpretation of the AIDS scare of the 80's by being able to dismantle the means of perpetuating the disease using the French Revolution as the background in a way that Robespierre never dreamed. </p>
<p>The unsheathed revolution. The Rod of Rebellion. Disease spreading swords. Incubators. The empowered antagonist in Zaszmarkana, Friar Sharpness, the unsheathed weapons becoming powerless at the adventure's end; I could go on. </p>
<p>Then again, my blood sugar may be low right now and I could be imagining things. I'm really hungry for a bratwurst right now, but I'll refrain from using a knife to spread the garnish. Better yet, I need to check if it was washed and sanitized. I'm bad about doing the dishes. </p>
<p>I want to like this. I really do. It's an interesting era and I know a couple of buds that appreciate Galt (especially this Commie Bolshevik Goblin that lurks around OTD), but I feel like I'm channeling Derrida to deconstruct what I'm reading here.</p>
<p>:( </blockquote><p>I wanted to call this one out, as my <i>favorite criticism</i> from this round, by far. While I'd like to say that all the subtext was planned, sometimes a sword is just a sword.Urizen wrote:It's probably me because I've just taken a philosophy and sociology course back to back the previous two quarters and I get this whole phallocentricism feminist perspective as if Ayn Rand hooked up with Andrea Dworkin to come up with this to tap in a commentary about the 60's counter culture sexual revolution and how it concludes in a radical reinterpretation of the AIDS scare of the 80's by being able to dismantle the means of perpetuating the disease using the French Revolution...James Olchak2012-04-03T12:01:06ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionJames Olchakhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#352012-04-03T14:23:53Z2012-04-03T11:58:44Z<p>Thank you everyone, for your careful consideration. I've had a tremendous time participating in RPG Superstar, and have enjoyed your feedback more than you could guess. While I'm certain that I will not be your RPG Superstar for 2012, I can tell you that I fully intend to pursue every opportunity that this competition has provided. </p>
<p>Thank you all so much, it has been a genuine blast.</p>Thank you everyone, for your careful consideration. I've had a tremendous time participating in RPG Superstar, and have enjoyed your feedback more than you could guess. While I'm certain that I will not be your RPG Superstar for 2012, I can tell you that I fully intend to pursue every opportunity that this competition has provided.
Thank you all so much, it has been a genuine blast.James Olchak2012-04-03T11:58:44ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionAsk A RPGSupersuccubus (alias of Charles Evans 25)https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#342012-04-02T20:35:38Z2012-04-02T20:35:38Z<p><span class=messageboard-ooc>Disclaimer:
<br />
Ask A RPGSupersuccubus provides the much needed viewpoint of a CE aligned (very advanced) succubus. The following review pays assiduous attention to fairness, balance, and logic. That said, these are Abyssal notions of those concepts, wheretofore today ‘fairness’ is an installation (occasionally of a ‘blast’ variety) commonly employed by someone with an over-the-top posh accent for smelting metals or toasting lightly flammable enemies, ‘balance’ is a large green vaguely pachyderm creature with a penchant for trampling magi, and logic is a <i>very</i> special form of magic which irrefutably proves a succubus is always right. </span> </p>
<p><span class=tiny> For the purpose of reviewing this proposal, I shall consider the quartet of adventurous succubi Anthea, Byrria, Cynthia and Daria to be in the area. Whilst it is at least unwise (if not outright foolish) to take any succubus for granted, I am sufficiently familiar with the four of them to be certain of their likely general reactions to any circumstance detailed here. As a matter of Good Manners, here are a few details regarding the four:</span>
<br />
<b>Anthea: </b>[Spoiler omitted]
<br />
<b>Byrria: </b>[Spoiler omitted]
<br />
<b>Cynthia: </b>[Spoiler omitted]
<br />
<b>Daria: </b>[Spoiler omitted]</p>
<p><b>Anthea, Byrria, Cynthia, and Daria are either in or travelling through the area for the purpose of a shopping expedition. How likely are the initial events presented to interest them and if not sufficiently enticing what might it take to engage their involvement? </b>
<br />
They're travelling through Galt to probably shop with the elves or something, and to get some light entertainment in along the way. <span class=messageboard-ooc>(Galt is almost always fun for a succubus, given the chaos and turmoil going on there, and a succubus' options to get out fast if things <i>should</i> turn ugly.)</span> Whilst it's perfectly believable that they could be travelling in Galt, the whole helping-a-Samurai-not-commit-suicide-and-getting-curious-about-weapons-as-a -result seems extraordinarily unlikely to engage the interest of four succubi. The most likely reason for their involvement is some sort of request to Anthea, from the church of Gorum, to find out what's going on with these odd weapons in Galt. </p>
<p><b>So just what is likely to happen once four succubi (and a baby alu-fiend) <i>do</i> get involved? </b>
<br />
They aren't like to go anywhere near the counterfeiting house. They're going to capture (carefully) a couple of weapons for analysis, and then take them somewhere to analyse them. At that point they'll probably carry out some divinations, and skip straight to looking for the missing <i>final blade</i>.
<br />
They may take a detour to chase down and interrogate the Pathfinder venture-captain along the way, since it's been indicated that she is apparently responsible for the blade being removed from view, and they're not likely to be terribly happy upon discovering that that was a red-herring.
<br />
From thereon though, it's a fairly straightforward kill-anything which moves, and take out Zaszmarkana with extreme prejudice after she wakes and alarms Cassiantha. <span class=messageboard-ooc>(Big scary nasty metal spider.)</span> </p>
<p><b>What about the aftermath? </b>
<br />
Friar Sharpness is removed from the hands of the unworthy and returned to its proper place, Galt is saved from undeath for future succubi tourists, and the Church of Gorum is happy to have their mystery solved. Oh, the Pathfinder Society probably isn't <i>too</i> happy about the loss of a venture-captain, but a high possibility of accidental loss to irate succubi goes with the territory when you set up a base in Galt... </p>
<p><b>Predicted Extraneous Body Count: </b>
<br />
Venture-captain Eliza Petulengro and any Pathfinder society members unfortunate enough to be in her vicinity when the four succubi discover she has no idea where Friar Sharpness has gone. The latter part of proceedings are likely to be particularly messy, (this is someone interfering with a favourite succubus holiday destination, after all) but it's unlikely that - other than the venture-captain - any of the casualties resulting could be considered extraneous. </p>
<p><span class=messageboard-ooc>Further Disclaimer:
<br />
Ask A RPGSupersuccubus (out of deference to Lord Orcus) would like to once again remind voters that she has been providing a (very advanced) succubus’ take on this round’s entries, and that whilst her assessments are (naturally) impeccable, voters might like to consider other opinions and sources, too. </span></p>Disclaimer:
Ask A RPGSupersuccubus provides the much needed viewpoint of a CE aligned (very advanced) succubus. The following review pays assiduous attention to fairness, balance, and logic. That said, these are Abyssal notions of those concepts, wheretofore today ‘fairness’ is an installation (occasionally of a ‘blast’ variety) commonly employed by someone with an over-the-top posh accent for smelting metals or toasting lightly flammable enemies, ‘balance’ is a large green vaguely pachyderm...Ask A RPGSupersuccubus (alias of Charles Evans 25)2012-04-02T20:35:38ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionDaniel Rusthttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#332012-04-01T22:44:08Z2012-04-01T22:44:08Z<p>James, your writing is beautiful. I think you're probably the best writer still in the competition. That matters a lot. Your phraseology is lovely and really makes your entries a pleasure to read. I would be very happy to see your work in print. You've really got something.</p>
<p>I really want to love this. It's a well put together mystery which is one of the hardest adventure types to pull off. It succeeds to some extent and the PCs should be pretty worried about contracting yellow scythe by the end of the adventure. I like Zaszmarkana, I like the opening scene and I love Friar Sharpness as a name for the final blade.</p>
<p>However, it just doesn't set the pulse racing. Most of the naming is uninspiring (especially given the quality of language on offer throughout the entry) and the coin plot just seems strange. The intelligence of the weapons is underused. That seems like a big deal and could be very entertaining as PCs start to become infected. I think you should have played that up more or removed it. It feels like a minor side effect of the disease but it should be a major role-playing point.</p>
<p>I think you've been great in this competition, James. I really liked Cold Hearth Lodge (so much so I used it in my round 4 entry) and Mushti's Beguiling Oddities was my favourite in the encounter round. I want to give you my vote, but I fear it may be going elsewhere. </p>
<p>That said, I look forward to seeing whatever you write for Paizo and wish you luck in all your writing efforts!</p>James, your writing is beautiful. I think you're probably the best writer still in the competition. That matters a lot. Your phraseology is lovely and really makes your entries a pleasure to read. I would be very happy to see your work in print. You've really got something.
I really want to love this. It's a well put together mystery which is one of the hardest adventure types to pull off. It succeeds to some extent and the PCs should be pretty worried about contracting yellow scythe by the...Daniel Rust2012-04-01T22:44:08ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionJeff Leehttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#322019-05-20T21:54:57Z2012-03-31T03:20:11Z<p>Kudos for choosing Galt as the location for your adventure. That's brave. I find Galt fascinating, but a daunting place to even consider using as a backdrop for an adventure.</p>
<p>I zeroed in on the whole Urgathoan cultists/magical disease/transmitted by metal thing immediately, as Crimson Throne was the first AP (well, second after Shackled City, so first post-Dungeon AP) I ran as a DM. <i>Seven Days to the Grave</i> is my favorite adventure of the bunch, and my favorite title not yet used by Motorhead for a song. So I immediately zeroed in on that as a misstep, as it immediately sets off my "been there, done that" alarm.</p>
<p>There are some interesting elements here. I like the name Friar Sharpness for the Final Blade, and I found your villain evocative and a good final obstacle for the adventure. As a whole though, the adventure doesn't really grab me. If I were looking at it as a customer in my local game store with a limited amount of money to spend, I might hang on to it as a "maybe" but I'd still be looking through the stacks for something else.</p>Kudos for choosing Galt as the location for your adventure. That's brave. I find Galt fascinating, but a daunting place to even consider using as a backdrop for an adventure.
I zeroed in on the whole Urgathoan cultists/magical disease/transmitted by metal thing immediately, as Crimson Throne was the first AP (well, second after Shackled City, so first post-Dungeon AP) I ran as a DM. Seven Days to the Grave is my favorite adventure of the bunch, and my favorite title not yet used by Motorhead...Jeff Lee2012-03-31T03:20:11ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionRonarsCorruptionhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#312012-03-30T14:32:10Z2012-03-30T14:32:10Z<p>Now, after reading all the criticism, there's a flip-side to this urgathoa faced coin. Your adventure isn't perfect; you need a lot of work on your naming, and you need to better understand use of the different areas of Golarion. But, I would have made the exact same sort of mistakes.</p>
<p>So, I really think with a little 'training' you could become a really big name here, even though your work needs work.</p>Now, after reading all the criticism, there's a flip-side to this urgathoa faced coin. Your adventure isn't perfect; you need a lot of work on your naming, and you need to better understand use of the different areas of Golarion. But, I would have made the exact same sort of mistakes.
So, I really think with a little 'training' you could become a really big name here, even though your work needs work.RonarsCorruption2012-03-30T14:32:10ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionRonarsCorruptionhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#302012-03-30T13:55:12Z2012-03-30T13:55:12Z<p>I have to say, wow. I was riveted by this adventure from the second line - the first one being the title, which is alright, but could have been better.</p>
<p>Now, I haven't read two other of the entries, but I don't know if they can compare to something like this. I loved the villian, the motivation, the backstory, the use of magical weapons that can't be treasure, the variety of challenges, and especially the writing.</p>
<p>You have my respect, sir, and if this adventure were to be published, I would buy it. And, most likely you will have my vote, too.</p>I have to say, wow. I was riveted by this adventure from the second line - the first one being the title, which is alright, but could have been better.
Now, I haven't read two other of the entries, but I don't know if they can compare to something like this. I loved the villian, the motivation, the backstory, the use of magical weapons that can't be treasure, the variety of challenges, and especially the writing.
You have my respect, sir, and if this adventure were to be published, I would...RonarsCorruption2012-03-30T13:55:12ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionGeraintElberionhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#292012-03-29T16:29:25Z2012-03-29T16:29:25Z<p>I don't like the title / weapon name but I do really like this proposal and you've got my vote.</p>
<p>Nice one, James.</p>I don't like the title / weapon name but I do really like this proposal and you've got my vote.
Nice one, James.GeraintElberion2012-03-29T16:29:25ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionPower Word Unzip (alias of Richard Moore, Jon Brazer Enterprises)https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#282012-03-29T00:27:30Z2012-03-29T00:27:30Z<p>I like this proposal a lot. But after reading the judge's comments, I don't think it's going to get my vote. I hate that out of my own stubbornness, but when industry insiders point out flaws, they're worth considering.</p>
<p>I never read Seven Days to the Grave, but your proposal's introduction does remind me of a module printed in the latter days of the print run of Dungeon about a group of intelligent swords that had to be destroyed by feeding them to a giant rust monster.</p>
<p>The nature of the yellow scythe is perplexing. It's a disease but also a curse. Okay, so kinda like mummy rot - I'll give you that one. But it makes weapons intelligent and gives them an alignment. That alignment may not necessarily be evil - but the endgame of any weapon so corrupted is to morph its wielder into an undead horror, and it radiates faint necromancy if hit with detect magic. •head explodes• At the very least, this stuff shouldn't confer anything but evil alignment to the weapons it taints. Make this stuff sinister - otherwise, you diminish the potential threat in the eyes of the PCs if they can rationalize the infection as a potentially good thing.</p>
<p>I'm not as canon-mindful as some other posters, so the thing with the Maze doesn't disturb me either. And I love the shriveled/crippled drow priestess using an alchemical/mechanical spider suit to get around. That's a good kind of gonjo mojo in my book.</p>
<p>This entry is also very well-written and flows very nicely. I never felt lost or had to back up much to understand key elements - a constant problem with at least one other proposal this round.</p>
<p>This is very, very, good. I'm just not sure it stacks up to "The Scarlet God" in terms of overall polish. But man would I steal ideas from this proposal for my Carrion Crown game in a heartbeat, just for the interesting Urgathoa cult angle.</p>I like this proposal a lot. But after reading the judge's comments, I don't think it's going to get my vote. I hate that out of my own stubbornness, but when industry insiders point out flaws, they're worth considering.
I never read Seven Days to the Grave, but your proposal's introduction does remind me of a module printed in the latter days of the print run of Dungeon about a group of intelligent swords that had to be destroyed by feeding them to a giant rust monster.
The nature of the...Power Word Unzip (alias of Richard Moore, Jon Brazer Enterprises)2012-03-29T00:27:30ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionAdam Blanchardhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#272012-03-28T20:07:39Z2012-03-28T20:07:39Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Caedwyr wrote:</div><blockquote><p> Sure. I'm just saying that it seems perfectly reasonable for a module writer to see what Paizo has done and be inspired to do a variation of the theme. But, as you've said we're getting off track here.
</p>
</blockquote><p>Yes, but they're not saying you can't use characters for Tian Xia, more that they don't really work in Galt.
<p>Which was my issue with them personally, in Galt it seems that anyone who looked "different" would be the first to be taken out by a revolution.</p>Caedwyr wrote:Sure. I'm just saying that it seems perfectly reasonable for a module writer to see what Paizo has done and be inspired to do a variation of the theme. But, as you've said we're getting off track here.
Yes, but they're not saying you can't use characters for Tian Xia, more that they don't really work in Galt. Which was my issue with them personally, in Galt it seems that anyone who looked "different" would be the first to be taken out by a revolution.Adam Blanchard2012-03-28T20:07:39ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionCaedwyrhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#262012-03-28T19:36:41Z2012-03-28T19:25:57Z<p>Sure. I'm just saying that it seems perfectly reasonable for a module writer to see what Paizo has done and be inspired to do a variation of the theme. But, as you've said we're getting off track here.</p>
<p>[Spoiler omitted]</p>Sure. I'm just saying that it seems perfectly reasonable for a module writer to see what Paizo has done and be inspired to do a variation of the theme. But, as you've said we're getting off track here.
[Spoiler omitted]Caedwyr2012-03-28T19:25:57ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionSean K Reynolds (Contributor)https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#252012-03-28T19:14:32Z2012-03-28T19:14:32Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Caedwyr wrote:</div><blockquote> I guess I've never seen Ameiko and Kaijitsu as being from Tian Xia as essential to their characters or the roles they play in Rise of the Runelord. It's always seemed to me that they could just as easily be replaced by another brother/sister pair that has had some sort of family falling out.</blockquote><p>Not to get us even more off track, but you have to remember that Jacobs has been planning to do Jade Regent since, well, since Rise of the Runelords. He planted the seed for JR in our very first adventure path. So no, it's not essential to RotR, but in the greater continuity of "there is a story here that is bigger than a single adventure path," it is very relevant to the continuity of the setting.Caedwyr wrote:I guess I've never seen Ameiko and Kaijitsu as being from Tian Xia as essential to their characters or the roles they play in Rise of the Runelord. It's always seemed to me that they could just as easily be replaced by another brother/sister pair that has had some sort of family falling out.
Not to get us even more off track, but you have to remember that Jacobs has been planning to do Jade Regent since, well, since Rise of the Runelords. He planted the seed for JR in our very...Sean K Reynolds (Contributor)2012-03-28T19:14:32ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionCaedwyrhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#242012-03-28T18:12:31Z2012-03-28T18:12:31Z<p>I guess I've never seen Ameiko and Kaijitsu as being from Tian Xia as essential to their characters or the roles they play in Rise of the Runelord. It's always seemed to me that they could just as easily be replaced by another brother/sister pair that has had some sort of family falling out. The set-up used for this module proposal seemed a lot more consistent and the Tian Xia content seemed better integrated.</p>
<p>That said, I also see the argument that it isn't necessary and the introduction to the module could be written in a different way. I just don't see it's inclusion as being such a big positive or negative. The criticism of whether the Tian connection is necessary or not is a valid point. Mr. Dancey's criticism while tangentially related was innaccurate and he's been justifiably called out on it.</p>I guess I've never seen Ameiko and Kaijitsu as being from Tian Xia as essential to their characters or the roles they play in Rise of the Runelord. It's always seemed to me that they could just as easily be replaced by another brother/sister pair that has had some sort of family falling out. The set-up used for this module proposal seemed a lot more consistent and the Tian Xia content seemed better integrated.
That said, I also see the argument that it isn't necessary and the introduction to...Caedwyr2012-03-28T18:12:31ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed Revolutioncibet44https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#232012-03-28T18:10:08Z2012-03-28T18:10:08Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Neil Spicer wrote:</div><blockquote> <div class="messageboard-quotee">Caedwyr wrote:</div><blockquote> Wasn't there a rather famous paizo product that had Tian Xia material included in a location on the other side of the world from Tian Xia? I seem to remember something involving an inn and a brother and sister. </blockquote>Not to belabor it (as I agree with Urizen, above), but you're comparing apples and oranges here. In the case of RotRL, the inclusion of Tian Xia material in that instance was 1) a lot closer by way of Varisia than Galt or Druma would be, and, perhaps more importantly, 2) the inclusion of that material was a <i>core</i> element to the adventure's backstory and premise. In other words, if you're going to tap that kind of cultural disparity in a design, make sure it's the <i>highlight</i> of the design. Not an oddly placed encounter or reference that doesn't really serve an essential role. Ameiko and the Kaijitsu family are <i>essential</i> to RotRL. And therein lies the difference in what I'm trying to say. </blockquote><p>Also true.
<p>However, just to be fair, Ameiko and the Kaijitsu family are <i>essential</i> to JR. They are <i>extraneous</i> to RotRL and only briefly appear in Burnt Offerings as background NPCs.</p>Neil Spicer wrote:Caedwyr wrote: Wasn't there a rather famous paizo product that had Tian Xia material included in a location on the other side of the world from Tian Xia? I seem to remember something involving an inn and a brother and sister.
Not to belabor it (as I agree with Urizen, above), but you're comparing apples and oranges here. In the case of RotRL, the inclusion of Tian Xia material in that instance was 1) a lot closer by way of Varisia than Galt or Druma would be, and, perhaps...cibet442012-03-28T18:10:08ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed RevolutionNeil Spicerhttps://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#222012-03-28T18:00:43Z2012-03-28T18:00:43Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Caedwyr wrote:</div><blockquote> Wasn't there a rather famous paizo product that had Tian Xia material included in a location on the other side of the world from Tian Xia? I seem to remember something involving an inn and a brother and sister. </blockquote><p>Not to belabor it (as I agree with Urizen, above), but you're comparing apples and oranges here. In the case of RotRL, the inclusion of Tian Xia material in that instance was 1) a lot closer by way of Varisia than Galt or Druma would be, and, perhaps more importantly, 2) the inclusion of that material was a <i>core</i> element to the adventure's backstory and premise. In other words, if you're going to tap that kind of cultural disparity in a design, make sure it's the <i>highlight</i> of the design. Not an oddly placed encounter or reference that doesn't really serve an essential role. Ameiko and the Kaijitsu family are <i>essential</i> to RotRL. And therein lies the difference in what I'm trying to say.Caedwyr wrote:Wasn't there a rather famous paizo product that had Tian Xia material included in a location on the other side of the world from Tian Xia? I seem to remember something involving an inn and a brother and sister.
Not to belabor it (as I agree with Urizen, above), but you're comparing apples and oranges here. In the case of RotRL, the inclusion of Tian Xia material in that instance was 1) a lot closer by way of Varisia than Galt or Druma would be, and, perhaps more importantly, 2)...Neil Spicer2012-03-28T18:00:43ZRe: Forums: Round 5: Submit an adventure proposal: The Unsheathed Revolutioncibet44https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ntt4?The-Unsheathed-Revolution#212012-03-28T17:57:43Z2012-03-28T17:57:43Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Caedwyr wrote:</div><blockquote> Wasn't there a rather famous paizo product that had Tian Xia material included in a location on the other side of the world from Tian Xia? I seem to remember something involving an inn and a brother and sister. </blockquote><p>True.
<p>However, in this competition (and now that Neal has explained the apparent logic behind the comment) I can see the validity in the complaint. I would describe the Tian content here as "pandering to the guest judge that is obviously a big supporter of Tian Xia" rather than an "anachronism" though. I do agree it is jarring to see it in this proposal, so I guess that could be defined as "out of time and place".</p>Caedwyr wrote:Wasn't there a rather famous paizo product that had Tian Xia material included in a location on the other side of the world from Tian Xia? I seem to remember something involving an inn and a brother and sister.
True. However, in this competition (and now that Neal has explained the apparent logic behind the comment) I can see the validity in the complaint. I would describe the Tian content here as "pandering to the guest judge that is obviously a big supporter of Tian Xia"...cibet442012-03-28T17:57:43Z