So I'm starting up a new campaign in a few days, and I've decided to roll up a paladin, for 2 reasons. First, as a long time DM(I taught myself at age 14 with no prior experience and have been pretty much forced to assume DM responsibilities in 9/10 games since then), I have NEVER seen a paladin played well. This bothers me, and I feel like challenging myself with roleplaying it. Secondly, I want to play a supporting healer type character.
Now I realize paladin is not the best class for this, as that is more along the lines of the cleric's role, but I'm pretty set on this idea from a roleplaying perspective. Simply put, I'm trying to make a relatively humble paladin whose background is more in line with that of a rogue than a holy man, and who draws his strength from empathy and the knowledge that even the most despicable of creatures can redeem themselves if put into the right situation.
Anyways, enough intro, here's my questions. I'm trying to find feats and character options which emphasize a more supportive healing helpful paladin, but I am kind of struggling. The options I have seen have seemed, quite honestly, incredibly weak at first glance. Are any of the paladin variations actually worth taking, or are they too gimp to use properly? I'm interested in the Sacred Shield and Oath of Loyalty variants, but my understanding is that Paladins in their current form NEED smite, and to trade that off for anything would be extremely unwise. Any truth to that? If so, how is Oath of Charity? I really like the idea of that variant.
The other question is more RP oriented. Are there any "common" situations I should be worried about causing problems with the paladins code of honor? We don't have any evil players on our group, but the rest of the party seems like they'll be okay with rampant theft and a complete disregard of law. I figure it will play out with them doing this behind my character's back, but does anyone have any advice on how to deal with it when my character inevitably discovers their shenanigans, without splitting the group or trainwrecking the campaign?
Edit: Derp, one more question. With Oath of Charity, it allows you to "respec" your mercies every day. Does that mean I can just ignore the crappy level 3 mercies in favor of all high end mercies once I start moving them around, or am I required to at least put 1 mercy at each "tier"?
