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Gruumash, Why are you so Awesome?


Off-Topic Discussions

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Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber

I know this is a dying question most people have been asking themselves. Like Charles Scholz for one, A Doodlebug Anklebiter or his other persona Leafear the Lost. People like Patrick Curtain and Aberzombie and others may already be aware of my awesome nature and possibly why that is. But being so awesome I thought I would start this thread so you could ask me yourself instead of bothering those other people.

So go ahead ask away.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber

No need to be intimidated here I will answer your questions no judgements.

Grand Lodge

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

If you're so awesome, why haven't you posted here?


If by "awesome" you mean "like all other people I'm completely inferior to Sebastian and desperately want to live vicariously through his own supreme badassery" then I'd say it probably has something to do with Skittles and the Mayan civilization.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

I used to think you were awesome, until you spelt my name wrong -.-

10 point penalty to Orcendor!

Dark Archive

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber

No actually it means just what it says .... I am awesome and obviously you are jealous and perhaps intimidated by my awesomeness but that is cool I can show you how to be awesome a well.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Scribbles a note to self

First thing tomorrow morning confiscate the keys to Gruumash's wine cellar


Gruumash awesomest of orcs. Me serve Gruumash.


Gruumash . wrote:
No actually it means just what it says .... I am awesome and obviously you are jealous and perhaps intimidated by my awesomeness but that is cool I can show you how to be awesome a well.

Ah, I see. So what you're really saying is that either (a) You are extremely delusionsal, or (b) You got your hands on some really good blow.

I'll assume it's (b), since hookers and blow is part of my National Pastime.

The Exchange

I told you NOT to eat those brownies.

Sovereign Court

You can't be awesome, you don't have Jack in your name.


Speakin' of brownies, I need to go treat myself to a mental heatlh break...

Exuent stage left


Chemically-enhanced attendant wrote:

Speakin' of brownies, I need to go treat myself to a mental heatlh break...

Exuent stage left

dude...totally...


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

TOZ makes a good point, but since you have since posted in that thread I must admit that you are more awesome than you were before you did.

I have no questions.


Yes, I have a question for you, Dorkmash.:

How can it be that Leafar the Loved is nothing other than a delusion of mine when he's been posting since 2007 and I, noob that I am, have only been posting since July 2010?


You want me to start administering beatdowns, Gruumash?


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Aww HEY! You're not supposed to drink that 1961 Domaine de la Romanee-Conti Romanee-Conti Grand Cru out of a funnel! MMM boy you're gonna regret that in the morning!

Shakes head

Nothing like a rare French wine hangover to make your morning sour..


Nosewad.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber
Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
Gruumash . wrote:
No actually it means just what it says .... I am awesome and obviously you are jealous and perhaps intimidated by my awesomeness but that is cool I can show you how to be awesome a well.

Ah, I see. So what you're really saying is that either (a) You are extremely delusionsal, or (b) You got your hands on some really good blow.

I'll assume it's (b), since hookers and blow is part of my National Pastime.

I am so awesome I don't need hookers and blow to be awesome.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber
Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:

Yes, I have a question for you, Dorkmash.:

How can it be that Leafar the Loved is nothing other than a delusion of mine when he's been posting since 2007 and I, noob that I am, have only been posting since July 2010?

What does this have to do about me being awesome? Cause that is what this thread is about. Oh I see you are asking how is it your awesomeness defies logic? Well simple really when you are awesome it supersides anything else in life logic, math all of that sort of crap you are just awesome and can do stuff other non awesome people can't do.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber
Callous Jack wrote:
You can't be awesome, you don't have Jack in your name.

I don't have Jack in my name ... but I do have Jack ...Jack Daniels in my drinking repitoire so I do have Jack and know Jack.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber
Orc Minion #37 wrote:
You want me to start administering beatdowns, Gruumash?

Nah not yet my awesomeness is so awesome that all will be awed into submission.

Silver Crusade

*Yawn* Your stuffing is not infernal enough to be awesome!

Dark Archive

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber
Chubbs McGee wrote:
*Yawn* Your stuffing is not infernal enough to be awesome!

When I make stuffing it is so awesome I use chorizo and and other spices it can get pretty hot.


Gruumash . wrote:
Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
Gruumash . wrote:
No actually it means just what it says .... I am awesome and obviously you are jealous and perhaps intimidated by my awesomeness but that is cool I can show you how to be awesome a well.

Ah, I see. So what you're really saying is that either (a) You are extremely delusionsal, or (b) You got your hands on some really good blow.

I'll assume it's (b), since hookers and blow is part of my National Pastime.

I am so awesome I don't need hookers and blow to be awesome.

Delusional it is then.


Xabulba wrote:
Nosewad.

Whoops... ment to type "Psycho".


Xabulba wrote:
Xabulba wrote:
Nosewad.
Whoops... ment to type "Psycho".

Sorry miss-typed again... "delusional bastard".

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber

I am so awesome I don't need hookers and blow to be awesome. Delusional it is then.

See my awesomeness has overwhelmed you. It's okay man it happens alot my awesome nature can be pretty intimdating. No problem I am still cool with you.

Anyways with a nose like mine or lack of one who do you think has the best blow around. And with good blow I don't need to pay for hookers. Now maybe you are seeing just how Awesome I truly am.


Awww...Look how cute you are, following in my footsteps. It's not everyday that someone wants to be as badass and lovable as me when they grow up. I'm sorry to say, though, you probably won't measure up. Nothing personal, it's just impossible to duplicate perfection.

I would say that I invented being awesome, but that would imply that there was a time that I never was. And we all know that can't be true. Just look at my profile if you need evidence.


Gruumash., don't listen to him. You're pretty awesome as you are right now. Even if you are an apostate.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber

So you have been taking my tips. Thats cool you can imitate me but there is nothing like the orginal. Orginal Awesomeness that is the Gruumash.

You keep on trying though man maybe when you grow up you can be considered Awesome too. It is alot of hard work though and not easy so keep working at it man. Perhaps people will start to think of you as kinda awesome. I mean you will never be as awesome as me but you certianly could be considered pretty awesome.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber

Doodlebug good to see you hear and do you have any questions you want to ask about my awesomeness?


Not at the moment, no. I'm just content to sit here and bask in your warm glow.


The warm glow is gas.


Gruumash . wrote:

So you have been taking my tips. Thats cool you can imitate me but there is nothing like the orginal. Orginal Awesomeness that is the Gruumash.

You keep on trying though man maybe when you grow up you can be considered Awesome too. It is alot of hard work though and not easy so keep working at it man. Perhaps people will start to think of you as kinda awesome. I mean you will never be as awesome as me but you certianly could be considered pretty awesome.

If you keep standing in front of the mirror and practicing like that, people will being to think you're crazy.


Know what would make this thread even more awesome? A shower of

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and more ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and more ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sebastian loves ~~~~~~~~~~ too. But watch out for that Dragon. He will try to steal your ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber

Why are you watching me after I get out of the shower in the morning Secretlyreplacedwith? That is not awesome ... that is creepy.


Gruumash . wrote:
Why are you watching me after I get out of the shower in the morning Secretlyreplacedwith? That is not awesome ... that is creepy.

What? You think omniscience is easy?

Or pretty? I mean, geez! Do something about that back hair!

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber

Yeah when you hit puberty eventually that will come for you makes grow hair. Oh sorry maybe you are a female my apologies.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Pawns Subscriber

Gruumash is BANNED for using the word "puberty" on a public board!

Ooops -- wrong thread! My bad!


Filthy! In my day, we didn't use words like that. The following words should not uttered in public:

Puberty
Pregnant
Erect
Nipple
Climax
Fondle
Bosom
Moist

Any more of that talk and I'll make you wash your mouth out with soap and razor blades!

*goes back to knitting*


Ohh now I have a wettie.

*WHEEZE*


Gruumash . wrote:
Yeah when you hit puberty eventually that will come for you makes grow hair.

Puberty? I think that's something you mere mortals have to experience. Luckily, I'm beyond simple human things like that.

Gruumash . wrote:
Oh sorry maybe you are a female my apologies.

I'd "whip it out", as they say, in order to demonstrate my manhood, but last time I did that a universe was destroyed. And I kind of like this one.


Pardon me, but who's this Gruumash person?


It's a very good question, Kajehase. Perhaps you know him by the name of Dorkmash.?


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Moist.......moist.......moist........moist.......moist............

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber
Secretlyreplacedwith wrote:
Gruumash . wrote:
Yeah when you hit puberty eventually that will come for you makes grow hair.

Puberty? I think that's something you mere mortals have to experience. Luckily, I'm beyond simple human things like that.

Gruumash . wrote:
Oh sorry maybe you are a female my apologies.
I'd "whip it out", as they say, in order to demonstrate my manhood, but last time I did that a universe was destroyed. And I kind of like this one.

Yes please keep that little thing tucked away no one wants to see it or probably could see it easily without getting close and from what I heard about the smell well that caused the destruction of the universe. Devastating and certainly not awesome like myself.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber
Kajehase wrote:
Pardon me, but who's this Gruumash person?

Only the most awesome half-orc pirate ever to grace the boards here at paizo. You might know me from Banned or Last one to Post wins.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules Subscriber
NobodysHome wrote:

Gruumash is BANNED for using the word "puberty" on a public board!

Ooops -- wrong thread! My bad!

See I am so awesome people make mistakes because they are awed by my presence its okay Nobody's Home alot of people get caught up in my pure aura of awesomeness nothing to be ashamed of. Even Secretlyreplacedwith is awed by me which is why he attempts to have a contest with me saying how awesome he is. It is funny when he tries to talk tough if Conan were here he would laugh too. Yes Conan is a great friend of mine.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Pawns Subscriber

OK, Gruumash, I bow down to your awesomeness! That was an awesome riposte! I am humbly awed by your awesome awe-inspiring aura of awesomeness!

Can I have a green bandana now? Or even a green banana?

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