As a monster designer, I look forward to this phase of the contest most..so lets see..
I like this one, quite a bit. I never would have thought of an alchemist/plant combo, and it has a great feel to it. The idea is great!
That said there were a lot of errors in the stat block itself. It is understandable; after putting together more critters than I care to count, I still have to double check myself, and that is using copy/paste templates..but some of the mistakes were easy to catch just my a quick side by side with a published work. ALWAYS double check yourself, and then, if you can, get someone else to as well.
In the end..I would (and likely will) use this plant in my home games. I have not decided on my votes yet..but this is likely to get one from me.
|Eric Bailey RPG Superstar 2009 Top 4 , Star Voter Season 6 aka raidou|
Adam, this is one of my favorite monsters in the round. I like its theme, the company that it keeps, and the way it builds on existing Alchemist rules. It's an all-around solid entry and I'd happily use such a creature in my home games.
I think my main critique is that your feat choices are somewhat bland. Your monster is evocative and interesting, and your feat choices should be too. You can achieve the same end-result from the Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes, Ability Focus, and Weapon Focus with ability score modifications.
|Steven Helt RPG Superstar 2013 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Steven T. Helt|
Descriptive text is choppy and too wordy. How does sap look unstable? Use a few colors instead of stacking terms like luminous and mambraneous.
Avoid passive language in your descriptions: "hope was to create" and "have had seeds imported". Use more esciting and clear languge: Hoping to succeed where their Nexian counterparts failed, some alchemists in the region have imported pyrebloom seeds for their own ongoing experiments."
You have given the plant an Intelligence score, even making them as smart as people. But the palnts themselves are presented as freak accidents with no society or ambition. How do they communicate? If they don't maybe they aren't so smart. Do they organize defenses and hold ground once a group of seeds mature together? This is also a great opportunity to invent a cool way to reproduce your new plant. Maybe they grow from the charred remains of bomb victims, or scatter fast-growing seeds once they themselves explode, ceating a menace that PC might be forced to deal with if they want a settlement to survive them.
Other choices I find curious: They are unstable and burst into flame, but are immune to fire. You call the noxious vapros a "poison effect", which I've never seen before. Perhaps just say creatures immune to poison are immune to this effect. They all understand goblin, but why? Becuase sometimes, in some parts of the world, they are followed by goblins? Finally, I'd give them Extra Discovery as a bonus feat and let GMs choose which discovery they want to apply. Mabe in the mountains they fire cold bombs. Maybe the ones surrounded by goblins throw precise bombs. Maybe in elven lands, super-agile pyreblooms fire fast bombs. Suck it, orcs!
Who are they? What do they want now? And I don't quite buy that during the great (heretofore unmentioned in history) pyrebloom rebellion of 4660, pyrebloom seeds flew from Nex to Mwangi during the devastation.
Kudos for choosing a plant. I was gonna go with plant, thinking it's be largely ignored by other contestants. The game need a wider variety of plants, and not just another tree that grapples PCs to death. Admittedly, my plant was a pretty good grapples. Hard to turn dow that mechanics with vines and whatnot, right?
|Aaron Miller 335 Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9|
|Eric Morton RPG Superstar 2009 Top 16, 2012 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Epic Meepo|
Note: I'm only giving a full review to finalists that requested one in the Top 32 Guildhall.
That being said, I'm giving this monster the Epic Meepo Seal of Approval. Granted, the exploding plant is a long-standing trope in fantasy games, but this one benefits from fairly tight execution and good attention to detail.
|Chad Bartlett RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9|
This is one of my favorites from this round. Ironically, the description reminded me of your Flask of Liquid Sunlight (which I also liked, by the way). I love wilderness adventure, including plant monsters, and this is a good one! Not sure how much I like the Noxious Vapor, but I love the Sap Bombs and Volatile Demise. I also like the vine attacks and the descriptive text, especially the part about goblins. Good job!
At first i wasn't taken with this monster. Since i'm not much of a fan of the alchemist class i wasn't interested at first, but when i read through it again changed my mind. This is great! The background text and the visuals i get are both great.
That they go up in flames when they are killed is my favorite part. I love the fact that a player would be able to push this thing off a cliff and have it explode on inpact, like a car in a action movie :)
Vote given and I hope to see you in round 4!
|Ed Zoller 52|
I have been running a superstar type contest with my players for years and I do not like this one at all. First of all a big plant sticking out like a sore thumb in the forest hurling of all things fire around would have been eradicated by druids, rangers, and Ents above all else a long time ago. Makes no sense to me. It is creative and uses a new class in a way, but say a forest fire happend. I guess they would be all that would remain. The mechanics are off as described above. It looks more like it would be a TPK creature with its bomb damage, multi attacks, and a possible 10-60 pts when you kill it, to everyone, with the fire blast attack. Creative, but OP for a 7th level party.
|Ask A RPGSupersuccubus|
A huge, faintly luminous flower supported by four spindly legs clicks cautiously foward, fluids roiling visibly inside its tightly closed, membranous petals. Twin tendrils of knotted vines, protruding from its stem, coax an unstable looking sphere of sap from its underside.
Pyrebloom CR 7
Disclaimer:You should know the drill by now, but in case you (somehow) missed it so far, Ask A RPGSupersuccubus is posting from the point of view of a (very advanced) CE aligned succubus:
Maths is Important. How many points is the name worth, and does it successfully ‘Scrabble’ around for extra points?
18 points ordinarily, but I'll give it a double word score for 36 points total.
Would a specimen of this creature look good on the cream and scarlet paisley pattern sofa I have in my Druman villa?
No indication of the colour scheme of the plant is given, but let's face it a huge plant is going to break the sofa, on which grounds alone it wouldn't look good.
What place does this have at a dinner party?
Hmm. It might look good in a corner in a really big flower vase - I know some giants who could provide one. Persuading it to behave and not to set fire to the guests could be a problem though.
It seems to be at least as intelligent as most humans, although is a good deal more charming than most. And at least it's not going to interrupt any conversations. (Well not verbally, anyway - conceivably it might object to something said by setting fire to things...)
If this creature were a crime, what sort of crime would it be (expressed in the time honoured culprit/implement/location format)?
Marduk the alchemist, with the prayer-book, in the chapel.
Ask A RPGSupersuccubus – turning hope to ruin, victory to despair, and asking the important questions which really matter since whenever.