I've entered this contest all five years and have never made the top 32. I am really a pretty good writer, super creative, and a heck of a DM (so I'm told), but I just can't seem to crack the first barrier. Is anyone else in the same boat?
Maybe, if you have all five of your submissions, they can be posted here. Or summarize if you don't have them. If you didn't submit three or more years please don't post. Otherwise mark them with the year you submitted in the same post.
I'll try to dig mine up this weekend.
Good luck next year.
RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
aka FaxCelestis
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I've entered all five years, and this is the first time I've made top 32, despite having a rather prolific homebrewing bug and getting quite a few compliments of my work.
You're 1 for 5 at least. Congrats and good luck to you in the competition.
Your Spellbreaker Gauntlets were one of my top five favorites of the 33 this year. I do have to tell you that I agreed with the judges that the writing and terminology was a little rough. If I could give you a little advice for the next round, have multiple people proof read, and have someone read it out loud to you while you edit. It will help.
Do you have your other four entries that didn't make it that you could post here and show us your growth? That would be cool. No rush. You have writing to do.
Good Luck
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Entered all 5 years, last year my item went to the keep folder. I've got a thread showcasing the progress I've hopefully made, you can find it under the rpgsuperstar general discussion.
Anyway, my advice would be to not limit yourself to RPG Superstar, I love the competition and chance that Paizo is offering but there are other freelancing opportunities available - if that is what you seek.
I just want a spiffy Paizo tag behind my name, be it RPG superstar or contributor ;>
Five times and the closest I got was alternate in 2009. I too feel like the first part is the hurdle I cannae break. :) I will add links after I finish all 32 (slow reader :)
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RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
aka FaxCelestis
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I don't have all of them, but I have a couple (including some self-discards):
Cloak of a Thousand Daggers
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 11th
Slot Shoulders; Price 6000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
A cloak of a thousand daggers appears as a sheet of intertwined daggers attached to a shoulder clasp. The cloak may be activated or deactivated as a swift action. When activated, the daggers animate and hover about the wearer. A cloak of a thousand daggers protects its wearer in several ways when activated.
When a creature attacks the wearer in melee with a non-reach weapon, the cloak automatically makes a counterattack, using the wearer's Base Attack Bonus plus their Charisma modifier as their attack bonus. Treat the daggers as if they were +1 weapons. This ability uses one of the wearer's attacks of opportunity for the round (and as such, this ability is unusable if the wearer is out of attacks of opportunity). A wearer may opt to not activate this ability with a mental command.
As an immediate action, the wearer may fire one dagger from the cloak at a target within 30'. To do so, he makes a ranged attack roll as if he were throwing the dagger, substituting his Charisma modifier for his Dexterity modifier: should he hit, he inflicts damage as normal, substituting his Charisma modifier for his Strength modifier. The dagger dissipates after striking and reappears within the cloak instantaneously.
A cloak of a thousand daggers may be enchanted as if it were a weapon: the price here is for a +1 cloak.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, animate objects, telekinesis; Cost 3000 gp
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 9th
Slot No slot; Price 75,000 gp; Weight 15 lbs.
This sturdy oak door strangely has hinges and locks on both sides of each face: one set is silver, the other gold. it radiates strong transmutation magic but does not function until hung appropriately.
When hung by the silver hinges in an appropriately-sized doorway, the door opens into an extradimensional space: a 10' by 10' room. The room contains an endless supply of oxygen and is lit from above via several continual flame spells. While unfurnished initially, such rooms are frequently filled with libraries, workshops, or occasionally treasure.
When hung by the gold hinges and opened, the door instead functions as a passwall effect. Unlike the silver hinges, this function does not require an appropriate doorway: rather, it merely must be hung against a wall or other flat surface.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, continual flame, passwall, tiny hut; Cost 37,500 gp
Aura Strong Transmutation; CL 10th
Slot Slotless; Price 12000 gp; Weight 0.5 lbs.
Ghost Candles turn the user, temporarily, into an incorporeal ghost.
Upon lighting the candle, the lighter's body immediately dies. While their body remains inert and lifeless at the point of death, their spirit moves out of their body into a ghostly form. Apply the ghost template to the lighter with the following changes:
*Remove the Rejuvenation ability.
*Rather than choosing abilities from the list based on CR, the lighter instead gains the Corrupting Touch, Frightful Moan, and Telekinesis abilities.
The candle does not become incorporeal, but it is capable of being interacted with by an incorporeal creature.
The lighter remains in ghost form until the candle burns out or is snuffed out. An untended candle will burn for eight hours before dying out. A candle does not need to be used all in one use--it may be separated into multiple periods of ghostly status, as long as the total time does not exceed 8 hours. Each use uses at minimum a duration of one minute. When the candle is snuffed or burns out, the user immediately returns to their body regardless of distance or planar status, and their body is immediately restored to its previous, alive status.
Some of these items (5%) are cursed, and instead do not return their user to life after their snuffing. If a candle is broken while in use, the user must make a DC 20 Fortitude save or be stranded as a ghost permanently; otherwise, they immediately return to their body as normal.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, create undead, gaseous form; Cost 6000 gp
Earring of Larceny
This small earring appears to be made of hematite, but is actually much more durable than it should be. Occasionally, these are found in pairs, but the second earring is merely a physical match and provides none of the magical benefits.
The wearer of an earring of larceny gains a +2 competence bonus to Forgery, Hide, Move Silently, and Open Lock checks. However, an earring of larceny must be worn for longer than eight hours before all its powers fully activate.
Once activated, the earring begins reading the thoughts of the wearer. Unlike most magic items that require command words to be spoken, the earring of larceny is capable of perceiving command words as they are thought, and therefore its activation is completely silent.
The wearer of an activated earring of larceny gains the ability to use the silence, invisibility, and knock spells, once per day each. The wearer of an activated earring of larceny also becomes continuously affected by the nondetection spell.
Finally, an activated earring of larceny contains fifty charges. Expending one charge creates a light effect, as the spell, except that the light emanates in a 30' cone originating from the earring and illuminating the area in front of the wearer. Expending two charges allows an extra use of any of the other spells this item can cast (that is, silence, invisibility, and knock). If the item runs out of charges, it becomes inert and magic-less.
Unlike most magic items, an earring of larceny appears completely nonmagical, as if it were permanently under the effects of a magic aura spell.
An earring of larceny does not take up a standard body slot, being worn on the ear, but wearing more than one at once will cause all of them to cease functioning. The earring of larceny has a Caster Level of 5th for the purposes of determining all its effects.
No aura; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, magic aura, light, silence, invisibility, knock, nondetection; Price 53,000 gp; Cost 26,500 gp + 2120 xp
Bottled Lightning
These small crystalline bottles are specially treated by magic to be able to contain lightning within them. They can be used in two ways: by uncorking the bottle, or by throwing the bottle.
When uncorked (a standard action), the bottle emits a lightning bolt (as the spell, Caster Level 5th). The bottle is not destroyed by this process and can be used again after "recharging" it.
When thrown (as a splash weapon), the bottle shatters and radiates a burst of electricity. Treat this as a fireball spell (Caster Level 7th), except the damage is electricity instead of fire, and add 2d4 slashing damage. The bottle is destroyed by using it in this manner and cannot be used again.
A bottle can be "recharged" by being the target of a damaging effect that deals at least 15 points of electrical damage. Area affects (such as a breath weapon) that damage the possessor of bottled lightning also affect (and therefore recharge) the bottle. Bottled lightning always fails its save against electrical effects but does not take any damage if not already charged. A charged bottle cannot absorb damage in this manner.
A bottle has Hardness 1 and 3 HP. If a charged bottle is broken, it immediately explodes as if it were thrown.
Moderate Evocation; CL 7; Craft Wondrous Item, lightning bolt, call lightning, or chain lightning; Price 2500 gp; Cost 1250 gp + 100 xp
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I never made it to the top 32 either in the years that I entered.
If you don't make it, don't get discouraged (it's been said before, but it bears repeating). The only way to get better is to keep writing and learning, and try pitching articles at places like Kobold Quarterly—they're always looking for website articles! There are third party publishers always looking for new authors in the forums here, at EnWorld, or at RPGFreelancer.com. I would also be terribly remiss if I don't plug the fan-run Wayfinder, which is currently looking for submissions for issue #7. It's a fantastic way to get your stuff out there, get it edited, laid out, and illustrated so you get a taste of what it's like to be a RPG freelancer. (Careful, it's addictive.)
Whatever you do, don't stop trying. :D
Marathon Voter Season 7
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I've entered all 5 years, though I don't know if I could find my first two or three items now. I've made the keep folder twice. I continue to keep trying.
However, let me add that I have actually been freelancing for the last two years and now have RPG books in print with my name on it. I admit that it would be nice to have the Paizo contributor tag, but the contest is only one path to success and if you are waiting on success in it before attempting other avenues, you're a bit like the guy waiting to get rich by hitting the lottery. It would be nice, but the man with his nose to the grindstone everyday is going to likely get there first. As Liz said, submit to some other places and see what happens.
Also, to add to Wicht/Jonathan's point, I had my nose to the grindstone working the PDF freelancing market several years before making a run at RPG Superstar. I believe that experience played a key role in not only enabling me to navigate each round, but also in delivering the goods after Paizo gave me an opportunity to write for them.
Great advice, Neil, Wicht, and Liz. I've been working on some stuff with the intention of submitting it. I should finish it up and get it out there. How did you initially break into the PDF freelance market, Neil?
I've entered this contest all five years and have never made the top 32. I am really a pretty good writer, super creative, and a heck of a DM (so I'm told), but I just can't seem to crack the first barrier. Is anyone else in the same boat?
Maybe, if you have all five of your submissions, they can be posted here. Or summarize if you don't have them. If you didn't submit three or more years please don't post. Otherwise mark them with the year you submitted in the same post.
I'll try to dig mine up this weekend.
Good luck next year.
I have been at it all 5 years as well, first year I dropped a stinker of course, but we had no guidelines other than 3.5 books. My closest so far was my ghostfire torch....I'll keep trying.
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How did you initially break into the PDF freelance market, Neil?
It's a long story. Initially, I monitored various messageboards for PDF publishers who had open calls or needed a freelancer for a new project. I also got involved on the messageboards of game publishers I knew I wanted to one day write for. Eventually, I met some of them at conventions, attended every "Freelancing 101" seminar they put on, asked lots of questions, made them aware of my interest, pointed out some of the initial work I'd been doing...either fan-based material or for-pay. And, I worked my way up from there.
My biggest initial "break" came from The Game Mechanics when I did some work for them on a D20 Modern/D20 Future PDF supplement. A compilation of that supplement eventually got released in a softcover book through Green Ronin. That was my first "in print" book that you could find in a store. And, because I contributed a significant amount to it...and because the Game Mechanics were always quite generous...I got to have my name as a co-author on the cover. All during that time, I also kept up a presence on their messageboards and helped out where I could at conventions and such...just brainstorming new products, watching their booth at GenCon while they left to give a couple of seminars...and so on.
Those experiences helped me gain a decent understanding of the RPG industry, but I'm still learning things even today. But, in reality, the biggest benefit was that it gave me confidence. I knew I could do this level of work. I kept practicing my craft through each freelance project I could gather. And, I kept watching for opportunities. Mostly, that involved pitching for Paizo's open call on Flight of the Red Raven...their PFS open calls...and I even pitched something to Kobold Quarterly. None of that panned out. But I kept trying.
Then, RPG Superstar rolled around in 2008. I submitted an item. And I failed to make the cut. But, I stuck around to watch how everything played out. I paid very careful attention to how the judges and the voting public reacted to things. I noted how each competitor went about their work. Those I admired (like Jason Nelson), I attempted to emulate. And, in 2009, when I pitched again, I made the Top 32...won the whole thing...and it opened up a whole new set of opportunities with Paizo.
And that is how I broke into freelancing.
Wow, my Torc of Zealous Tenacity made the keep folder!
Second year that I made it that far, woot!
ETA: Previous Years
What a fun thread! Ok, I dug up the rough draft of my awful spell-in-a-can entry from 2008. (I missed the 2009 contest.) Keep in mind this isn't formatted properly.
Mask of Blood
This scratched and crumpled mask of hard-boiled leather has been shaped into the likeness of a grotesque human face. The wearer of the mask radiates a permanent bane effect, as the first level cleric spell of the same name. Additionally, once per week anyone in possession of the mask can cast scrying. The mask cannot be worn when the scrying attempt is made.
The subject of the scrying attempt gains an automatic -4 to the Will save. If the wearer is able to drink a pint of the subject’s blood, the subject gains a -10 on the Will save.
During the scrying attempt, the mask itself animates and writhes in a disturbing manner. As the empty eye sockets weep blood, the mask’s mouth speaks in a hideous gurgling voice and relays the results of the scrying attempt in the owner’s native tongue.
The mask has AC 16, 10 hit points, and hardness 8.
Strong necromancy and enchantment; CL 14th; Craft Wondrous Item, animate object, bane, magic mouth, scrying; Price 26,000 gp; Weight 3 lb.
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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Star Voter Season 6
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Great advice, Neil, Wicht, and Liz. I've been working on some stuff with the intention of submitting it. I should finish it up and get it out there. How did you initially break into the PDF freelance market, Neil?
While it may not be exactly what you want, the internet does make it easy to put ideas out there for critique/consumption. My offerings are on Google Docs, the only downside is I don't know who (if anyone) has looked at them.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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I've also entered all five years. In 2008, I submitted a textbook example of SIAC (along with extended flavor text about Sarenrae).
In 2009, I entered the Amulet of Discord. It was noted as one of the worst in the contest. (If you're reading this Clark, I've got to say that this actually inspired me to keep at RPG SuperStar)
From 2010, here is the Spirit Scroll. That one had way too much going on.
In 2011, I submitted the hot mess known as Allure's Aroma.
As has been mentioned by others, though, perseverance and eventual freelancing has helped immensely.
If you're reading this Clark, I've got to say that this actually inspired me to keep at RPG SuperStar.
I am reading this and you were hardly one of the worst. I'm glad my thoughts encouraged you.
I've said over and over, I don't think I could win RPG Superstar. So this is some elite company people are in. And having the courage to enter every year, and improve every year, I have to say, having read your items, is really pretty impressive.
Keep it up!
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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If you're reading this Clark, I've got to say that this actually inspired me to keep at RPG SuperStar.I am reading this and you were hardly one of the worst. I'm glad my thoughts encouraged you.
I've said over and over, I don't think I could win RPG Superstar. So this is some elite company people are in. And having the courage to enter every year, and improve every year, I have to say, having read your items, is really pretty impressive.
Keep it up!
Thanks, Clark!
I will say that I took the remarks to mean that I had a lot of work to do, and not that the judges misunderstood my item. I needed to prove to myself that I could do it.
Here are the five entries I've submitted for RPG Superstar over the years. I'm still pretty happy with most of them as they are the kind of magic items I like in my games. There are problems with each, especially knowing what the judges don't like. Sean's list of advice sure helps with the later items. Comments are welcome.
The front surface of a Communiqué will accept any material that leaves a mark and whatever is written will appear identically on the other scroll. In this way, they provide two way-written communications over any distance on the same plane. When a user begins to write on a Communiqué of the Archmage, a mental ping alerts the character possessing the scroll’s counterpart that a message is incoming.
Leaders often give Communiqués to subordinates and adventurers frequently use them to coordinate between parties, but another use of the Communiqués is in the sending of spells to remote spellcasters. Scribing a spell on a Communiqué of the Archmage works like scribing a scroll and requires the same costs. When a spell is activated from either Communiqué, the writing disappears from both.
Moderate evocation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, sending; Price 10,000 gp (for a pair); Weight 1lb.
Slot —; Price 19,500 gp Weight —
Description
This pair of ornate tassels or ribbons are designed to decorate the pommels of swords or other hafted weapons. When attached to two different magical, melee weapons, the adornments allow the weapons to share the higher of their two enhancement bonuses and the weapons’ wielders can each choose which of the weapons’ special abilities to use, if any. All of one weapon’s special abilities must be used with exclusion of the other’s abilities. Swapping a weapon’s special abilities is a move action. Weapons cannot borrow special abilities that are illegal for its type (a keen mace), and abilities unique to specific weapons cannot be transferred (a Shatterspike’s ability on a non-longsword weapon), but either can be swapped out for the other weapon’s legal abilities. Qualities from a weapon’s material cannot be shared (adamantine). Weapon intelligence cannot be imparted and intelligent weapons may resent or resist being fastened with adornments (requiring dominance checks against the item’s Ego). The adornments only function when both weapons are wielded in battle and have line of effect to each other.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, telepathic bond; Cost 9,750 gp
Slot —; Price 26,000 gp; Weight —
Description
This delicate, crystal and silver hourglass gives its owner the ability to alter the time stream in minor ways, repealing a second or two on demand. Once per day as a standard action, its user can turn the glass and command it to activate. For one round, the owner may revert time as an immediate action whenever a character within line of sight makes an attack roll, saving throw, skill check, or ability check. The user may use this immediate action after finding out the result of a roll (success or failure), but before the roll’s effects are applied in the game. The affected roll is rerolled and the second result is used, even if the outcome is detrimental to the sandglass user’s aims. This special immediate action can be used any number of times during the round, but only once for each initial roll, and using it one or more times counts as the character’s single swift or immediate action for the round.
The sandglass’s secondary function is activated simply by its destruction, usually by throwing it to the ground as a move action or otherwise smashing its glass and scattering its sand. This activates an effect equivalent to the time stop spell affecting the user.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, time stop; Cost 13,000 gp
Slot —; Price 3,000 gp Weight 3 lbs.
Description
Originally designed to allow mobility outside of combat while benefiting from heavy armor, this item has also become popular with spies who frequently change their identities. Expertly crafted of thick leather with a wood frame, the main compartment of this pack is large enough for an entire suit of full plate armor when disassembled and stacked. Its secondary compartment can hold up to 15 pounds or 1 cubic foot of equipment.
As long as the only item stored in the main compartment is a complete suit of armor or a single outfit of clothing, the wearer may activate the pack by command word. When activated, the pack opens and the armor or clothing quickly warps, whips, and slides into place across the wearer's body, replacing the previously worn garments. The replaced clothing or armor is neatly stacked in the main compartment and the pack closes itself. Neither set of garments is damaged in this transposition and all other equipment worn remains in place by adjusting for the new attire.
The pack will not activate if its user is in a tight space or the movement of the armor is otherwise restricted (i.e. user is squeezing, grappled, or carrying a large object in both arms). However, the pack will work for a mounted user.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, telekinesis; Cost 1,500 gp
Slot —; Price 3,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
When found, this simple, wrought-iron tool typically holds the mark of an Artume cattle baron, though some bear the personal symbol of an opportunistic villain. When grasped by the handle, the iron at the far end transfigures itself to resemble the mark of the wielder (a coat of arms, wizard's mark, initials, etc.). The iron may be used traditionally, but once per day, when activated by command word, the head immediately heats to a searing temperature and remains hot for 6 minutes. If used to brand an animal during this time, the animal takes 1d4 fire damage and must succeed at a DC 14 Will save or be affected as by the dominate animal spell, except that it lasts for 6 days. Ordinarily an animal will be pinned and then branded by a non-grappled user, but the iron can be wielded as an improvised weapon that deals 1d4 bludgeoning damage plus 1d4 fire damage if it is heated. A melee hit with the activated brand triggers the dominate animal effect.
If used on a humanoid creature, the iron acts as a dominate person spell (same save DC and duration), but only if the brand is burned to the victim’s forehead. Against an unhindered humanoid opponent the dominate effect only triggers on a confirmed critical attack or a challenging called shot to the head (see the called shot rules in Ultimate Combat).
In all cases, magical healing of 8 points or more will end the dominate effect and completely remove the mark from the skin.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Extend Spell, dominate animal, heat metal; Cost 1,500 gp
Thanks for the fun,
Nick
Aura moderate abjuration and evocation; CL 9th
Slot neck; Price 77,900gp; Weight 1 lb.
This is a large deep blue opal pendant in an adamantine setting with seven mithral Azlanti glyphs. Tiny mithral wires crisscross the face of the gemstone connecting to minuscule platinum coils beneath each glyph. When viewed closely, the dark swirling clouds of a tempest can be seen brimming within.
The wearer is constantly surrounded by moderate winds. The wearer is never checked by, or blown away by, winds of hurricane strength or less, and ranged attack rolls suffer a -2 penalty. This effect may be suppressed at will.
The wearer may, upon command, surround himself in a cloak of winds, up to three times per day. While a cloak of winds is active, as an immediate action, the wearer may draw on the power of the storm within for one of the following effects. The user may either call a bolt of lightning from the amulet as lightning bolt for 3d10 damage (up to 9 bolts per day), or gust of wind up to three times per day. The wearer may choose to be pushed or lifted by the gust of wind, making a move of up to 60 feet in a straight line in any direction.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, call lightning storm, cloak of winds, gust of wind Cost 38,950gp
Judging by what they said during judging, they didn't get that the reason the bolts are 3d10 is because they're from the call lightning storm, the reason I use them as lightning bolts that do more damage is because they're being channeled through the amulet from the Eye of Abendego. I know I need to throttle back on the number of abilities.
Rings of the Master
Aura faint abjuration, necromancy, and transmutation; CL 5th
Slot wrist; Price 41,500 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description This set of ten mithral rings is engraved with mystical Tian characters. Mundane versions are known as chi sau rings, which are used in the monasteries of Tian Xia to condition the body through hours of form training; gaining power and speed from the extra weight on the arms.
A wearer that has the Deflect Arrows feat may avoid two ranged attacks per round, instead of the standard one per round. He also gains the ability to deflect magical rays by making a DC20 reflex save, once per round, in lieu of deflecting normal missile weapons.
Once per day, as a standard action, the wearer may use 2 points of ki to activate his inner reserves, gaining 10 temporary hit points for a duration of 10 minutes.
Due to the mithral construction of the rings, unarmed attacks are considered silver for purposes of bypassing damage reduction.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, entropic shield, false life, haste Cost 20,750gp
Perhaps a better name would have helped...
The year before I entered this....lost formatting since I had to pull it from the archives.
Aura moderate abjuration; CL 9th
Slot -; Price 1,800 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This polished birch torch flares to life with a pale green incorporeal flame when lit. Within the 20 foot bright illumination radius of the torch incorporeal creatures become almost corporeal. This near corporeal state negates movement through solid objects and their attacks do not surpass natural armor, armor and shields. In addition they lose their 50% reduction in damage from corporeal sources and they may be affected by normal weapons. Within the 40 foot dim illumination radius of the torch, incorporeal creatures are reduced to 25% reduction in damage from corporeal sources, but maintain the rest of their incorporeal abilities. Once lit the torch quickly burns out, only lasting for 10 minutes.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dimensional anchor, ability to channel positive energy Cost 900
it was pretty similar to the Torch of Solidity from the previous year's top 32. And...(Clark said:We all unanimously felt that this is waaaay too cheap for which it does - which is totally cripples every incorporeal creature - even with the time limit. It's also just way too powerful, making some of the trickier creatures in the game pretty much pushovers for any character and severely hampered in their ability to deal out damage. Any group would be fools not to have a few of these with them at all times.
Wes made a good point in another item that some design like players, some like fanbois and some like professional designers. This is designing like a player. If you make something everyone in the world has to have you need to step back and ask if you are making the right design choices. Wondrous items are limited.)
I will continue trying, I know I have good ideas, I know how to tweak the game rules, I can be creative, I just need to do all of it at once to make it superstar...I wish for once I could make it past the first round, because I truly believe this is the hardest design challenge. [Though monsters can be tough as well, since it's difficult to design something brand new in the realm of monsters.]
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
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I am 5 for 5 entering, 0 for 5 top 32ing. If I could have made Top 32 just one year, I think last year's categories reflect my strengths and interests best. Even as I submit my item this year, I was stumped for an original organization idea, and don't use the faction mechanics in my game.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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I also am 0-5, and have sometimes struggled to understand why x items make it and none of mine have. I'm sure I am not alone in that. Having said, that, I spent a lot of time trying to fix a flawed item for this year's contest, and felt less confident about the one I submitted than in previous years. I acknowledge I struggle with sexy ideas that have complicated mechanical implications. I tried to simplify the mold and......still didn't make the keep folder. Better luck next year, unless someone wants me to write a fat adventure, alignment supplement, or another monster book for them. Hint.
2008: prescience pillow A soft pillow that offered prophetic dreams once per week about upcoming dangers. In a year full of augury items. Was called good but not good enough, and received criticism for making more work for the GM.
2009: spell-share bracelets Came as a matching set
of 3 or 4. When the wearer of one bracelet cast a spell targeting himself, the other wearers within 30 feet also received the benefit of that spell. Don't recall getting feedback on it. I did think it was a little power-gamey, but we were still writing for 3.5 and the game had a lot of power creep.
2010: boots of can't remember their name Allowed wearer to stand and walk on water without penalty. Also, allowed wearer to stand on the underside of the water's surface for hiding or ambushes or whatnot, and flip back to the surface of the water. Maybe my most popular item with judges so far - was told it was good but not good enough, and probably would have made the cut if the boots allowed water breathing, which was one judge's (Sean's?) main gripe.
2011: scabbard of false peace Had a deceptive peace bond so that no one could draw the weapon but the wearer. Allowed the owner to summon the weapon and scabbard from a remote location once per day. Docked because players don't really allow their weapons to be confiscated that often, so players wouldn't get excited about it.
2012: ape-reach bracers Pretty good cinematics, I thought. Allowed wearer to stretch arms out to 60 feet twice per day for the purposes of a single attack or climb check. Gave a climb speed continuously. No feedback yet, but the thing I was most nervous about was that it's too powerful - 60 of reach is a lot in this game, even if just twice per day. Tough on enemy spellcasters. But it seemed like an item that was either gonna be pretty powerful or pretty lame.
I also am 0-5, and have sometimes struggled to understand why x items make it and none of mine have. I'm sure I am not alone in that. Having said, that, I spent a lot of time trying to fix a flawed item for this year's contest, and felt less confident about the one I submitted than in previous years. I acknowledge I struggle with sexy ideas that have complicated mechanical implications. I tried to simplify the mold and......still didn't make the keep folder. Better luck next year, unless someone wants me to write a fat adventure, alignment supplement, or another monster book for them. Hint.
2008: prescience pillow A soft pillow that offered prophetic dreams once per week about upcoming dangers. In a year full of augury items. Was called good but not good enough, and received criticism for making more work for the GM.
2009: spell-share bracelets Came as a matching set
of 3 or 4. When the wearer of one bracelet cast a spell targeting himself, the other wearers within 30 feet also received the benefit of that spell. Don't recall getting feedback on it. I did think it was a little power-gamey, but we were still writing for 3.5 and the game had a lot of power creep.2010: boots of can't remember their name Allowed wearer to stand and walk on water without penalty. Also, allowed wearer to stand on the underside of the water's surface for hiding or ambushes or whatnot, and flip back to the surface of the water. Maybe my most popular item with judges so far - was told it was good but not good enough, and probably would have made the cut if the boots allowed water breathing, which was one judge's (Sean's?) main gripe.
2011: scabbard of false peace Had a deceptive peace bond so that no one could draw the weapon but the wearer. Allowed the owner to summon the weapon and scabbard from a remote location once per day. Docked because players don't really allow their weapons to be confiscated that often, so players wouldn't get excited about it.
2012: ape-reach...
I almost did a gauntlet reach type item this year also...reading the feedback from the people who made top32, I wonder if my item had made the keep pile if that would have done it.
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Marathon Voter Season 7
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I went through and found, thanks to Clark's critique threads, my entry for each year. Here they are from first to last.
2008
The bearer of Lok’s Own Coin continually gains a +10 competency bonus to skill checks made for games of chance and a +2 dodge bonus to AC. Three times per week the bearer may flip the coin to answer a yes/no question as per the Augury spell . Heads signifies yes and tails signifies no.
Divination; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, creator must have 5 ranks in Knowledge (games), dodge, Augury; Price 11,000gp
2009
Gloves of Kindling
Aura moderate evocation; CL 3rd
Slot Hands; Price 7800 gp; Weight –
DESCRIPTION
These red leather gloves will, upon command, burst into flames. These flames, equivalent in light and heat to the flames of a torch, do not scorch the wearer but can be used to ignite flammable objects. Successful unarmed attacks made with the gloves do an additional 1d4 points of flame damage and the opponent struck must make a Reflex safe (DC 14) to avoid having any clothing catch on fire. Twice a day the wearer of the gloves can cause fire to fly from the gloves in a manner identical to the spell Burning Hands. Finally the wearer, three times a day, can ignite any square inch of flammable material up to a hundred feet away.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Object, prestidigitation, burning hands; Cost 3900 gp
2010
Wizard’s Portable Lab
Auramoderate conjuration CL 9th
Slot - Price 150,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
Though it looks to be a spellbook filled with arcane script, this book actually contains four connected rooms suitable for arcane research and item creation. Each room is ten feet wide, ten feet long and ten feet high. The first room has shelves upon which components can be stored. The second room contains a fully equipped wizard’s lab and the third contains an alchemist’s lab. The fourth room is a carpeted library, complete with shelves and a fireplace.
Anyone who touches the book and speaks the command word is transported into the rooms within the book. Speaking the command word again causes one to exit the lab. A person can transport up to an additional fifty pounds of weight into or out of the lab in this way. Read magic allows the caster to discern from the pages of the book both the contents of the rooms and the command word necessary for entering and exiting the lab. If the book is destroyed, any living person within the lab book is immediately expelled along with anything they are carrying; all else is destroyed with the book.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Secure Shelter Cost 75,000 gp
2011
The Lantern of The Illumined Walk
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 4,320 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
This bullseye lantern possesses a number of adjustable lenses on its front but is otherwise identical to a mundane lantern and operates as such. Once per day, as a standard action, you may place the lit lantern on the ground and use the lenses to create a path of solidified light. This walkway of light may be either 60 feet long and 10 feet wide, or 120 feet long and 5 feet wide. The lenses can also be adjusted to angle the walkway up or down, to a maximum of 45 degrees. This pathway is anchored on the lantern and does not need to necessarily go anywhere. If, as it is being created, the beam of light strikes a solid object, it ends at that point and extends no further. The illumined walk in all respects counts as solid ground. At the end of 10 rounds, or if the lantern is moved, the lantern runs out of oil and the light is extinguished.
Construction
Requirements craft wondrous item, levitate ; Cost 2,160 gp
2012
Stubborn Nail
Aura moderate abjuration and faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 24,000 gp; Weight -
Description
This admantine nail is three inches long. As a standard action you, or another creature, may easily push the nail, by hand, through and into any non-living material, including metal, stone and cut wood. You may likewise push it through more than one item at a time, so long as the width of each item will allow this. Once the nail has been pushed into place, only the one who embedded it may easily pull it out again. All others attempting to remove the nail must make a successful Strength check to do so, where the DC of the attempt is equal to 10 plus the combined hardness of the items the nail is in. Once the nail has been removed, there is no evidence, such as a hole, to indicate it has been used nor does the nail ever damage that which it has been used to secure.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, arcane lock, mending ; Cost 12,000 gp
Good progression Wicht, good luck with next years, hope we both make it to top 32!
So if I tell you this is my first year entering, are you all going to throw rotten vegetables at me? *takes cover*
Can't we just chalk it up to beginner's luck?
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I'd chalk it up to Judges fiat, the more I read the comments, the more I realize how close I was. Next year I will make it.
I also am 0-5, and have sometimes struggled to understand why x items make it and none of mine have. I'm sure I am not alone in that. Having said, that, I spent a lot of time trying to fix a flawed item for this year's contest, and felt less confident about the one I submitted than in previous years. I acknowledge I struggle with sexy ideas that have complicated mechanical implications. I tried to simplify the mold and......still didn't make the keep folder. Better luck next year, unless someone wants me to write a fat adventure, alignment supplement, or another monster book for them. Hint.
2008: prescience pillow A soft pillow that offered prophetic dreams once per week about upcoming dangers. In a year full of augury items. Was called good but not good enough, and received criticism for making more work for the GM.
2009: spell-share bracelets Came as a matching set
of 3 or 4. When the wearer of one bracelet cast a spell targeting himself, the other wearers within 30 feet also received the benefit of that spell. Don't recall getting feedback on it. I did think it was a little power-gamey, but we were still writing for 3.5 and the game had a lot of power creep.2010: boots of can't remember their name Allowed wearer to stand and walk on water without penalty. Also, allowed wearer to stand on the underside of the water's surface for hiding or ambushes or whatnot, and flip back to the surface of the water. Maybe my most popular item with judges so far - was told it was good but not good enough, and probably would have made the cut if the boots allowed water breathing, which was one judge's (Sean's?) main gripe.
2011: scabbard of false peace Had a deceptive peace bond so that no one could draw the weapon but the wearer. Allowed the owner to summon the weapon and scabbard from a remote location once per day. Docked because players don't really allow their weapons to be confiscated that often, so players wouldn't get excited about it.
2012: ape-reach...
I missed the first year so I'm 4/5.
I submitted a peace bond of deception in 2010 that reads almost exactly like your 2011 submission. They hated it. However, I've gotten closer every year. This year I made the keep pile with the vest of second skin but SKR didn't really like it. I certainly know now why it wasn't chosen, but I am unsure why it was kept.
So if I tell you this is my first year entering, are you all going to throw rotten vegetables at me? *takes cover*
Can't we just chalk it up to beginner's luck?
Yes, yes you can. It partially depends on how much research you did before writing up your idea, but you may have stumbled into something on your first try that fit in the right places and got you through the meat grinder. You could possibly enter items you think are just as good the next three years and not make the top 32. You could have also entered the very same item in one of the last 4 years and not have made the cut. There is quite a bit of luck getting out of the keep pile and into the top 32. You did have two rejections initially but still made it. Congrats! Your Gloves of Reconnaissance were probably in my top eight or so of this year's top 33.
I'd wish you luck in the next round, but you will need more than luck to get through the next few rounds. So, instead I will wish you mighty good ideas and spectacular design skills. Are you confident in your entry for this round? I can't wait to begin voting.
Thanks for the support, Phloid! I'm glad you liked my item. :)
I'm feeling good about my Round 2 entry, but only time will tell.
Star Voter Season 8
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Here are the five entries I've submitted for RPG Superstar over the years. I'm still pretty happy with most of them as they are the kind of magic items I like in my games. There are problems with each, especially knowing what the judges don't like. Sean's list of advice sure helps with the later items. Comments are welcome.
** spoiler omitted **...
Since you asked for advice... as a DM I would have some serious Problems with your 2012 entry - don´t take it the wrong way please. The way I read your items, it seems that your group prefers a certain type of gaming, where items don´t have to be idiot proof - or let´s say unabusabel by powergamers.
That is not a bad thing - but I would not suggest publishing items that can be used like this - especially considering society play.RPG Superstar 2012: Artumian Branding Iron
Hyperlinking it was a very good idea.
Some minor things, the inquisitor class gets a branding spell which might have been a better fit - even if the spell works different when it comes to healing. Since the item can cast dominate person, list it in the requirements.
The price is extrenly low considerting the second power, and this should not end up in the hands of level 3 adventurers.
The animal ability seems quite nice, but the duration is rather high considering that dominate animal has a duration of 1 round per level. It is a powerfull ability in the right adventure - in others it might be used to light fires - or as a poor mans flaming weapon.
So so far the item could work, maybe adjust the price a bit.
The second power is far more powerfull:
If used on a humanoid creature, the iron acts as a dominate person spell (same save DC and duration), but only if the brand is burned to the victim’s forehead. Against an unhindered humanoid opponent the dominate effect only triggers on a confirmed critical attack or a challenging called shot to the head (see the called shot rules in Ultimate Combat).
In all cases, magical healing of 8 points or more will end the dominate effect and completely remove the mark from the skin.
The healing bit could be relevant if the PCs use this item over and over, but there are some things that keep this downside from beeing effective until a higher level:
- you dominated minions can wear helms, to disguise the brands
- they get a saving throw, to resist the healing spell
- how are others able to recognize it? I would use a spellcraft check, and not a particularly easy one unless someone takes the time to study the effect with detect magic for several rounds.
Your wording is a bit mixed up: "If used on a humanoid creature, the iron acts as a dominate person spell" sounds a bit wrong, but I am not a native speaker.
Regarding the use on an unhindered humanoid, a critical hit is rather unlikely (nat. 20) so the called shot will the the option of choice - its an optional system - but I like it.
A -10 to the attack roll seems hard, but if the group grappels, flanks, uses something like evil eye to reduce the AC - and let´s not forget aid another to give a +2 bonus to attack roll of the character using the item....
In the middle of combat, this might not be a good tactic, but once you have killed all but one of your enemies, or incapacitated them (sleep, colour spay) it is really not problem to dominate an enemy per day.
And the funny thing is, one you have your personal slave, you can dominate him every 6 days.
So yeah, it´s pretty damn powerfull - at discount price.
Forgive me for not spellchecking, it's 1 AM and my bed calls to me^^.
Since you asked for advice... as a DM I would have some serious Problems with your 2012 entry - don´t take it the wrong way please. The way I read your items, it seems that your group prefers a certain type of gaming, where items don´t have to be idiot proof - or let´s say unabusabel by powergamers.
That is not a bad thing - but I would not suggest publishing items that can be used like this - especially considering society play.RPG Superstar 2012: Artumian Branding Iron
Hyperlinking it was a very good idea.
Some minor things, the inquisitor class gets a branding spell which might have been a better fit - even if the spell works different when it comes to healing. Since the item can cast dominate person, list it in the requirements.
The price is extrenly low considerting the second power, and this should not end up in the hands of level 3 adventurers.
The animal ability seems quite nice, but the duration is rather high considering that dominate animal has a duration of 1 round per level. It is a powerfull ability in the right adventure - in others it might be used to light fires - or as a poor mans flaming weapon.
So so far the item could work, maybe adjust the price...
Thanks for the feedback, but I disagree with most of your points, except that I play a particular way and don't need to idiot proof my games.
I was aware of the Inquisitor spell and decided not to use it. I wanted the item to appear to be a tool created for branding and controlling livestock, but had an unintended use on humanoids likely discovered by an opportunist turned villain. Livestock is not something Inquisitors are interested in. For the very same reason I didn't put Dominate Person in the creation. It wasn't created to dominate people. That was a side effect. My original writeup stated this but background doesn't belong in a wondrous item so I tried to hide it in the description.
The dominate animal duration is longer because I wanted it t be useable for longer than 8 rounds. Extend Spell is in the construction requirements for this reason.
You say the dominate person power is too powerful, but it is not like the item just casts the spell. To use that effect, it must be used as a improvised weapon (suffering a -4 to attack without feats) and then you either have to have friends pin the opponent, make a confirmed natural 20 critical attack or make a challenging called shot to the head (another -10 penalty). Not easy.
And finally the dominate effect ends if the victim gets 8 or more points of magical healing. As soon as the opponent's cleric discovers this it can be countered by a Cure Minor Wounds. As you pointed out the victim could be instructed to save against all healing spells, but if he failed the Will save against the dominate he could easily fail the Will save against a healing spell. If the slaves are instructed to avoid healing magic it just makes dispelling the effect a little tougher, but it is still much easier than dispelling the full dominate effect. Therefore it is not as powerful as the regular dominate person spell and should not be priced as such. Yes, you could keep banding your slave every six days, but anytime an enemy cleric gets a healing spell through you suddenly have a pissed off ex-slave who wants revenge. Not that powerful.
I suppose you could put helmets on the slaves to cover the brand, but the fact that there is a brand to possibly see makes the dominate effect less powerful than the full on spell. And it might take some Spellcraft or Knowledge checks to identify the effect, but you are placing "not a particularly easy" check on the item, not me. Why would it be any more difficult than identifying the dominate person spell? It could even be considered less difficult to identify that the brand is causing the effect as dominate person usually has no visible effect.
And the line you have a problem with is fine as worded. It might seem odd to you because the spell's name has the word "person" in it. Consider "If used on a humanoid creature, the iron acts as a cure serious wounds spell." Is there a problem with this? I suppose I could have dropped the word "creature" but its fine to use humanoid as an adjective.
I don't feel the item is that broken or badly under priced. Maybe it is a bit under priced, but not bad. Granted, a party of player characters who want to grapple every NPC they find to brand their heads could try that, and if that is the type of game your group likes to play and the game you like to run, go for it. Its still not easy. If you don't want it in your group's hands because of what they will likely do with it, don't let it in your game. This goes for every item in the game. I mistakenly built this as a plot item for a villain and don't expect heroic characters to use it as it seems kind of evil.
Also there are a number of mechanics in the item to curb abuse or limit its power which you poo poo, but I don't think they are to scoff at. Granted a bard wand of Dominate Person cost 30,000 gp, but it can be used at will up to 50 times, has a range of 40 feet with no super difficult attack roll, and can't be dispelled by a first level cleric/druid/bard/witch/paladin/ranger spell. But if your players play villains then they will likely want this item and may have fun using it despite the difficulties built in. So be it.
The judges didn't point out the things you mentioned in their rejection. In fact they seemed annoyed that in order to use the dominate person effect you had to deal with special attack or grapples. Finally it just wasn't superstar enough. Next year I have it pegged though.
What did you submit, Sebastian? Did you enter?
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Star Voter Season 8
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Since you asked for advice... as a DM I would have some serious Problems with your 2012 entry - don´t take it the wrong way please. The way I read your items, it seems that your group prefers a certain type of gaming, where items don´t have to be idiot proof - or let´s say unabusabel by powergamers.
That is not a bad thing - but I would not suggest publishing items that can be used like this - especially considering society play.RPG Superstar 2012: Artumian Branding Iron
Hyperlinking it was a very good idea.
Some minor things, the inquisitor class gets a branding spell which might have been a better fit - even if the spell works different when it comes to healing. Since the item can cast dominate person, list it in the requirements.
The price is extrenly low considerting the second power, and this should not end up in the hands of level 3 adventurers.
The animal ability seems quite nice, but the duration is rather high considering that dominate animal has a duration of 1 round per level. It is a powerfull ability in the right adventure - in others it might be used to light fires - or as a poor mans flaming weapon.
So so far the item could work, maybe adjust the price...Thanks for the feedback, but I disagree with most of your points, except that I play a particular way and don't need to idiot proof my games.
I was aware of the Inquisitor spell and decided not to use it. I wanted the item to appear to be a tool created for branding and controlling livestock, but had an unintended use on humanoids likely discovered by an opportunist turned villain. Livestock is not something Inquisitors are interested in. For the very same reason I didn't put Dominate Person in the creation. It wasn't created to dominate people. That was a side effect. My original writeup stated this but background doesn't belong in a wondrous item so I tried to hide it in the description.
The dominate animal duration is longer because I wanted it t be useable for longer...
Thank you for showing us your process, its a quite a nice read. And it's ok to disagree, especially if you can defend your views like you did.
Your points:
- I mentioned the brand spell, since you might not have know about it - I only found it when I searched for spells with the curse description for my magus. In retrospect, since the item can heat up and even deal fire damage, heat metal was the right choice.
Regarding the Dominate Person, well let's say the item is published an player character wants to craft one of these - or four, the player wants an item that works as advertised and considering that it does in fact dominate people I would personally add it. Since dominate person already has a 1day/level duration it kind of fits - at least in my head (which is a rather weird place at the best of times). Since heat metal and dominate person are both mainly druid spell most crafters would have to increase the DC a bit or ask a friendly druid or cleric to help.
The days not having the spell to craft the item is no big deal, since you can take 10 on the spellcraft check.
Just to make this clear this is just about personal preference your requirements are fine - it's just that sometimes judge mention that the required spell wasn't quite right.
- Regarding the actual difficulty to use it on an unwilling target is hard to judge, it depends on things like group makeup, point buy, magic items....
-Healing the effect, well too depends on what resources are used against the group. As the BBEG I would be quite aware of this weakness, and either cloth my unwilling minions in unrevealing clothes (the kind you see in fantasy movies where the enemies appear and die by the dozens).
Using things like detect magic to detect the magical effect would quickly show that it's some kind of enchantment effect, but detecting the specific counter, would require something like a DC 20 spellcraft check I guess. How would you have dealt with this question?
- Aura is listed as strong enchantment, but according to
http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/d/detect-magic
a CL 6 item should have a moderate aura. I could of course be wrong, since if didn't try myself on following the template, or even reading the template thread(but see below for anal retentive views)
-The wording, "the iron acts as dominate person spell" I just can't explain it, seems wrong to me that the item acts as a spell. As I said, English is not my first language, so maybe ask someone else if it sounds weird. It may be repetition, but I would have copied
" If used to brand an animal during this time, the animal takes 1d4 fire damage and must succeed at a DC 14 Will save or be affected as by the dominate animal spell, except that it lasts for 6 days."
and changed it to:
"If used on a humanoid creature, it must succeed at a DC 14 Will save or be affected as by the dominate person spell, but only if the brand is burned to the victim’s forehead." (no need to mention duration since the item is CL 6 = days duration.
Feel free to ignore my advice regarding this, of course you could ask if you wanted to have something translated into German^^
-Everything else: Yeah burning brands into peoples heads is bad - you should not do it without a really good reason like....
No seriously, it all comes down to perspective, the judges have their unique perspectives and so does every DM and player out there. We are all shaped by our experiences, and while this is one of the strengths in this hobby it also splits us (Edition wars just to name an example).
I happen to game with a group of pretty creative people, and one of their (and mine) favourite past times is to use a item in a way it was never intended to work. Alternative using an items exactly for its intended purpose with some tactical optimization is fun too.
So yeah, with this item I would have given my group the chance for inner party conflict (as you said branding people is hardly heroic) and/or the introduction of a pretty powerful effect early in the game.
But that is just my point of view, the judges had their own reasons for rejecting it (and plot item is a fair assessment as you say yourself), but it's not a bad item I would not have bothered this write these posts otherwise, and I hope your next item will blow all others away^^.
As Liz Courts suggested, writing items for Wayfinder was great advice, and I hope to see something from you in it.
- I didn't submit an item this year. I knew that while I could put together a nice item - and maybe even use the template correctly - there would have been no chance in hell that I could have delivered something worthy of being a superstar in round 2 or 3.
I may trained 2 1/2 years as a foreign language correspondence clerk / translator and I can still translate simultaneous, my writing skills have atrophied in the following years.
These days I am months away from my final examinations as an insurance broker - something that has taught me to be anal retentive when reading insurance terms and conditions - which can be a useful trait when used for good instead of evil. So yeah the fact that I have to study like madman and try to keep my grades up to my ridiculously high standard (unless it's an A, I didn't study hard enough ;) ) prevents me from trying fun stuff like the contest.
I hope that doesn't completely devalue my arguments, and that the next item will amaze the judges.
Well back to learning.. where did I stop... Quotenrückversicherung ............. and if I die before I wake, thats one less test to take^^
-You pointed out that the item as I wrote it could be created by a druid and that is what I intended. I was tempted to write a sentence or two of its origins, but the judges hate that and for good reason. I was going to write that it was created by the herding plains druids from Artume (assuming they have that archetype there) and that its unintentional use on humanoids was discovered by accident and used by opportunistic villains to make human slaves.
-It would depend on the circumstances what checks I might ask the party to make to discover what was causing victim's behavior. How I envisioned it was several branded men would be coming into a town, stealing anything of value, and attacking anyone who got in their way. Alternately, they could be coming in to kidnap more slaves. I would probably start by giving the party Sense Motive checks. The sense enchantment DC for a domination effect is only 15. Knowledge Arcana or Bardic Knowledge might be next to identify the exact cause, especially if they see the brands. I might give a bonus if one of the characters is from Artume or had herding in their background. The DCs would be about 24. If one of the PCs cast Detect Magic and could ID the aura (DC 19) I could see giving a bonus on future checks. I really didn't intend on the PCs trying to figure out what caused it before engaging them and protecting the townsfolk. I could see them killing a couple of the attackers and after the battle having some of the town's people begin crying. "You killed uncle Jumie!" And then the PCs would spend the time to figure out that the brand caused it and maybe how to counter it. Then they would set out to find the culprits feeling guilty for killing innocents. I love causing my players guilt. See... plot device item.
-The aura problems were a mistake. Good catch. I intended it to be "moderate enchantment and faint transmutation" but that would have been wrong too. It should have been simply based on the caster level ans schools and should have been "moderate enchantment and transmutation." Oops. That's another mistake I won't make next year.
-Maybe the wording on "the iron acts as dominate person spell" isn't right. I usually try to find a source that is worded the same when I write one of these, but I'm not sure I did for that one and don't want to look it up now.
-Right, I could have not mentioned the duration when I mentioned the save DC for dominate person, but I wanted to reiterate that it was the same, both in DC and duration as the dominate animal. Since the DC would normally be 16 minimum for dominate person (10 + Spell Level of 4 for a bard and + minimum Ability bonus of +2 for a 14 score) I wanted to make sure it was obvious that it was the same effect just on a different target.
Well I hope you do enter next year. You have a good sense of the game and know the rules well. Avidazen.
Did I type that right?
I've submitted every year except...2010, when I was running a patronage project and I didn't feel it was fair to the patrons to split my attentions, so I didn't bother. However, that was the year I was a big part of Jim Groves' pit crew, helping him bust it up, and that was a great experience. I still twitch when someone mentions a skintaker or an ardor wesp.
My first wasn't sexy enough, my second sniped at the class ability boundary, third was a pass, the fourth was considered "gross" but inspired the material for an article in KQ#17, and I'm not sure about this year's yet. I probably need to post it in the thread, but I've been busy with projects. I think this was my last year, too, because I believe there's an Atlas project coming this year which will disqualify me. It was a bummer not to make it, but I think I'd have been truly overwhelmed-- and that's an important skill for a freelancer to learn, too. You need to know when to say "no," and to keep in constant contact if you feel you need more time.
For me, this has been a constant push for the last four-going-on-five years. I've spent a lot of nights on vacations hammering out wordcount. Lots. It's what I ask for on holidays now, "Can I have more time to write?" I love doing it, and it's been a great ride so far.
-Ben.
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Star Voter Season 8
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-You pointed out that the item as I wrote it could be created by a druid and that is what I intended. I was tempted to write a sentence or two of its origins, but the judges hate that and for good reason. I was going to write that it was created by the herding plains druids from Artume (assuming they have that archetype there) and that its unintentional use on humanoids was discovered by accident and used by opportunistic villains to make human slaves.
-It would depend on the circumstances what checks I might ask the party to make to discover what was causing victim's behavior. How I envisioned it was several branded men would be coming into a town, stealing anything of value, and attacking anyone who got in their way. Alternately, they could be coming in to kidnap more slaves. I would probably start by giving the party Sense Motive checks. The sense enchantment DC for a domination effect is only 15. Knowledge Arcana or Bardic Knowledge might be next to identify the exact cause, especially if they see the brands. I might give a bonus if one of the characters is from Artume or had herding in their background. The DCs would be about 24. If one of the PCs cast Detect Magic and could ID the aura (DC 19) I could see giving a bonus on future checks. I really didn't intend on the PCs trying to figure out what caused it before engaging them and protecting the townsfolk. I could see them killing a couple of the attackers and after the battle having some of the town's people begin crying. "You killed uncle Jumie!" And then the PCs would spend the time to figure out that the brand caused it and maybe how to counter it. Then they would set out to find the culprits feeling guilty for killing innocents. I love causing my players guilt. See... plot device item.
-The aura problems were a mistake. Good catch. I intended it to be "moderate enchantment and faint transmutation" but that would have been wrong too. It should have been simply based on the caster level ans schools and should have been "moderate enchantment and...
-Maybe the wording on "the iron acts as dominate person spell" isn't right. I usually try to find a source that is worded the same when I write one of these, but I'm not sure I did for that one and don't want to look it up now.
-Right, I could have not mentioned the duration when I mentioned the save DC for dominate person, but I wanted to reiterate that it was the same, both in DC and duration as the dominate animal. Since the DC would normally be 16 minimum for dominate person (10 + Spell Level of 4 for a bard and + minimum Ability bonus of +2 for a 14 score) I wanted to make sure it was obvious that it was the same effect just on a different target.
Well I hope you do enter next year. You have a good sense of the game and know the rules well. Avidazen.
Did I type that right?
I get the drive to show of some of the awesome backstory behind your item - but as you point out - it's good to resist it.(at least in a contest, depending on the product it could be a worthwhile choice).
Regarding the guilt - I am always amazed when my players ignore the rules and abilities that allow them not to kill the enemy, the amount of useful information that they could discover is staggering. Of course this usually leads to torture or at least the threat.
The scenario does seem fun if you can keep it up for the entire adventure, of course this relies mostly on the players.
-Auras are easy to mix up, especially if your item goes through several versions, and it is a rather tiny part of the item - but I am sure that this mistake will not follow into next years challenge.
Searching for a source to compare your wording, and using it makes an item easier to understand. I couldn't find a source to check your wording either, but I didn't have the time to do a comprehensive search.
Maybe I will enter next year if I have the time and inspiration we will see.
And that you for the trying, but its written auf Wiedersehen, - don't worry German is sometimes ridiculously complicated and nonsensical, and I respect everyone willing to try.
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Star Voter Season 8
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I went through and found, thanks to Clark's critique threads, my entry for each year. Here they are from first to last.
Stubborn Nail
Aura moderate abjuration and faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 24,000 gp; Weight -
Description
This admantine nail is three inches long. As a standard action you, or another creature, may easily push the nail, by hand, through and into any non-living material, including metal, stone and cut wood. You may likewise push it through more than one item at a time, so long as the width of each item will allow this. Once the nail has been pushed into place, only the one who embedded it may easily pull it out again. All others attempting to remove the nail must make a successful Strength check to do so, where the DC of the attempt is equal to 10 plus the combined hardness of the items the nail is in. Once the nail has been removed, there is no evidence, such as a hole, to indicate it has been used nor does the nail ever damage that which it has been used to secure.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, arcane lock, mending ; Cost 12,000 gp
I just have to ask, what is the intended use of this item?
I can see it keeping doors closed, and even using it in combat to nail an enemies shield and weapon together. I am not trying to say it's a bad item - in fact it is extremely creative, but at a price tag of 24,000 GP I might be missing something here.
Also if I add 1 or more extremely flat adamantine items when I use the nail (let's say adamantine poker card) wouldn't that make it pretty much impossible to remove the nail with a strength check? (Sorry my internal powergamer just couldn't resist - which is good, it's an indicator that you item is interesting)
Oh yeah and it's a pretty kinky bondage item , since you can use it pretty much everywhere without causing lasting damage^^
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Marathon Voter Season 7
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I just have to ask, what is the intended use of this item?
I can see it keeping doors closed, and even using it in combat to nail an enemies shield and weapon together. I am not trying to say it's a bad item - in fact it is extremely creative, but at a price tag of 24,000 GP I might be missing something here.
I think it is pretty much agreed that it is too expensive. Redoing it without many changes (Mr. Reynolds in another thread suggests making it an inexpensive one-shot with some other changes) I would knock the price down to 6000 gp and put a weight limit on it.
The use is whatever people can come up with, much as with sovereign glue or an immovable rod. I think its the sort of item that would be constantly put to new and unexpected uses as the situation demanded. Some I have thought of are as follows.
-sneakily putting it into someones boot heel and the floor
-quickly nailing a door shut when you don't have a wizard with a memorized arcane lock spell
-securing your sword (or other valuables) so it cannot be stolen while you sleep
-quickly hiding something out of sight on the ceiling
-tying off a chain or rope to a featureless cliff
-nailing a book shut to prevent other people from reading it
-secure a flask/pot/canteen so it cannot be easily opened
-secure manacles/chains/etc without the aid of a lock and key
Clark, I think, suggested pinning a foes armor to the ground during a grapple.
A friend suggested it as a means of temporarily destroying a lock so that it could not be opened with the key.
I would be very interested in what other uses people could create for it in an actual game.
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Star Voter Season 8
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I just have to ask, what is the intended use of this item?
I can see it keeping doors closed, and even using it in combat to nail an enemies shield and weapon together. I am not trying to say it's a bad item - in fact it is extremely creative, but at a price tag of 24,000 GP I might be missing something here.
I think it is pretty much agreed that it is too expensive. Redoing it without many changes (Mr. Reynolds in another thread suggests making it an inexpensive one-shot with some other changes) I would knock the price down to 6000 gp and put a weight limit on it.
The use is whatever people can come up with, much as with sovereign glue or an immovable rod. I think its the sort of item that would be constantly put to new and unexpected uses as the situation demanded. Some I have thought of are as follows.
-sneakily putting it into someones boot heel and the floor
-quickly nailing a door shut when you don't have a wizard with a memorized arcane lock spell
-securing your sword (or other valuables) so it cannot be stolen while you sleep
-quickly hiding something out of sight on the ceiling
-tying off a chain or rope to a featureless cliff
-nailing a book shut to prevent other people from reading it
-secure a flask/pot/canteen so it cannot be easily opened
-secure manacles/chains/etc without the aid of a lock and keyClark, I think, suggested pinning a foes armor to the ground during a grapple.
A friend suggested it as a means of temporarily destroying a lock so that it could not be opened with the key.
I would be very interested in what other uses people could create for it in an actual game.
Well there is certainly some Mojo there, kind a like a portal gun for FRPGs, keep it up and next year you might just make it.^^
Yes, I've done 5/5 dives into the reject pile. I think I still have the items somewhere - I'll dig them out and post them.
Here you go.
2008 Interestingly, my almost ran item was an anvil that let any user create magic items. Instead I went with a six armed statue, that added +1 to any weapon you let it fight you with. Somewhere in the critique thread is the Battle Idol, but I cannae find it now. :)
2009 My best showing so far. Got an alternate and a recommendation that my villain advance. :) Cerebus Collar.
2010 Way over confident following previous year’s success (see above). I should at least have had my committee proofread more. Blademorph Bracers and the critique
2011 Minced and tweaked and tweaked and minced a good item into garbage. I was so nervous about being crushed (see above), I made a last minute change. I should have stuck with fly :) After seeing the Top 32 I actually said “that’s it I am done with SuperStar.” Fortunately I wanted to be a good loser and by the time I finished reading the archetypes, I was hooked again. Smokesting Firegeyser and the critique. Also Neils in-depth review
The discussion on these two makes me think I made it to the keep pile. Not true for...
2012 I over practiced this one, and was not feeling very creative when push came to shove. I knew it was not a winner. I think in large part I only sent this in because I wanted to keep participating. Rime Trap Amulet and the critique
I've entered 4 of the 5 years (missed one due to work deadlines), but haven't advanced. I was close one year, was auto-disqualified one year, and as I recall didn't stand out much the others. As with Curaigh, my gut reaction is always severe disappointment, but that's par for the course; writing this stuff is something I really enjoy, which makes it important to me. Irritates the heck outta my girlfriend sometimes how much time I spend on D&D and Pathfinder :)
Will I ever have what it takes? Who knows. I learn something every year. For the short term, I've found that working on Open Design projects scratches a bit of the itch.
After all, the only way your writing gets better is ... well ... by writing.
So, maybe I'll successfully run the gauntlet one of these years, maybe not, but I certainly won't stop trying :)
I entered in 2010, 2011 and obviously 2012.
I wrote about it in detail, including my two previous items and the feedback to them, in this thread.
I only found out about this competiton two years ago, as round 2 was starting. Last year's insightful eye was my first real entry, but alongside this year's orb of mists will be far from the last.
Stubborn nail
If it helps at all, I really liked the mechanic you came up with. I thought it was simple and elegant.
I have said several times and I will say again: Wondrous items are often at their best when they tinker with mechanics rather than just grant spell effects. And your nail did that, and did it in a clean, elegant, rational and fun way.
I had some problems with it, too. I didn't like the name. I don't like names that are real world puns or sayings (examples in the posted critique, such as "straw of back breaking" or things like that). Don't do that. Those are phrases from our reality. Also, MORE pinning in combat is not really what anyone wants, and that is what this is for--you hold him down, I push in the nail.
That said, I think the nail made the keep pile for a while.
You are getting really close.
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As with Curaigh, my gut reaction is always severe disappointment, but that's par for the course;
...
Will I ever have what it takes? Who knows.
...
So, maybe I'll successfully run the gauntlet one of these years, maybe not, but I certainly won't stop trying :)
I know the answer--it is YES! I believe you will break through.
GB, you and Wicht and Curaigh and a whole bunch of others are ones who I always hope will wind up in our keep pile. And I think you all are improving. Keep at it! Even though submissions are anonymous (and frankly this is one reason they are), all the judges love how hard all of you work, and how much it means to you. We are people, too, with hearts and feelings (me, anyway, maybe not Sean and Ryan, they are like terminators or something :) just kidding guys!) and how can you help but want to see the nice people from the community advance. Of course we do! In fact, the first thing I do when the 32 are announced is check to see if it is anyone who I recognize! I am pulling for all of you to break through. (looks like I'm the Paula after all)
So how do I know you have what it takes? How can I be so sure? Because you haven't given up. A freelancer can't give up. That is a key quality. So your continued persistence tells me you will make it. The 1% inspiration 99% perspiration rule is true--keep working.
I completely agree with Clark, guys. I'm looking forward to the day all of you kick the door down on this competition and come storming through. That'll be really fun to watch.