Souls at War (story, kinda, needs critics)


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I once wanted to write a novel, I wrote a prologue and posted it somewhere, I have been told to either learn proper English or stay away from writing...

Here is that Prologue:


Souls At War

- Prologue

Once upon a Time in the World of Ssyba, the different nations and their inhabitants were constantly warring for various reasons ranging from usual ones, like the resources needed and coveted by everyone, to the frivolous like having looked at a crack in one wall the wrong way.

Then one day, the mighty Emperor Tansa of Onrefni managed what seemed impossible, a World spanning truce, the nations and their survivors agreed to cease their hostilities for as long as Emperor Tansa lived.

Decades passed untill that fateful day arived, the 13th day of the 7th month of year 100 AT, Emperor Tansa died at the honorable age of 111, 1 month, 1 week, 1 day, 1 hour, 1 minute and 1 second.

Soon after, the Unholy nation of Lleh declared war on the Holy nation of Nevaeh, because, you know, they are opposites; the Terra continent declared war on the seafaring nation of Aqua because they are stealing the beach sand; the air nation of Aera declared war on the rest of Ssyba for soiling their precious air; Tom killed Bob for putting a finger on his sister Lolita; etc…

On "Year's End" of 100 AT, the World had already been plunged back into the Chaos, Hell started to break loose…

========

So, any critics? Bashing? Questions? Anything else?


So I need to stay away of writing?

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