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Vexing Spirit Lamp
Aura faint enchantment; CL 1st
Slot —; Price 1,200 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
This ornate terracotta lamp usually bears motifs of flying dragonflies. When held by a creature with at least 1 point in his ki pool, the lamp sheds a blue light as bright as a candle.
As a standard action, the user can spend a point of ki to mold the light into a fluttering, sparkling dragonfly-like shape and move it up to 50 feet as though it were a Diminutive flying creature that automatically succeeds on Fly checks. Unless destroyed mid-flight, the light winks out with a hiss at the end of the turn.
The buzzing and scintillating light is irritating to creatures other than the user, compelling them to make attacks of opportunity against it as it moves through threatened squares (Will DC 11 negates). The light has an AC of 20. If hit, it erupts in a shower of sparks, and a backlash of ki energy causes the attacker to be dazed for 1 round (Will DC 10 negates). Both effects are mind-affecting compulsions.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, compel hostility, dancing lights, daze; Cost 600 gp
Well...hmmm...
It's an interesting spin on creating a magic item that uses compel hostility. And the dancing lights and daze connection are obvious.
I think it's a bit too specific by making it so only someone with a ki pool can use it. That seems a bit short-sighted, design-wise. And the overall utility of an AoO-inducing dragonfly made of light which dazes you for a single round if you hit it seems kind of...meh?
That said, it's a low-cost item. So the degree of difficulty is a bit higher on these. The attention to detail on the template is perfect. So, this is one of those designers who has the execution and professional polish...has a little bit of innovation in trying to design something that uses some of the new rules/mechanics provided in the APG/UM/UC books. It's just lacking in the mojo department. Does a magical dazzling butterfly that you can only invoke by having a ki pool feel all that Superstar?
Not to me.
Weak Reject.
This would be very handy for eating up AOOs against a boss/reach monster before the fighter gets there/so the rogue can get flanking. I think the ki-only limitation really hurts it... it just as easily could have been an X/day item, kinda like an anti-Combat Reflexes (which would also make it cost less, and be more useful at low levels where those DCs have a chance of working).
This item is fixable. But the designer needs a kick in the pants to take their design up a notch so the developer doesn't have to fix their items. Practice, and try again next year if you don't advance past the Top 32. I look forward to the results.
For now...
Reject.
I love this. Great way to draw AOOs. Maybe a bit to special effects-y in its description. But I like it.
Keep.
Does a magical dazzling butterfly that you can only invoke by having a ki pool feel all that Superstar?
YES! :)
I think this person would grow into a great contestant and should be given the chance.
As I often say, sometimes the goal gets lost for the task. We arent really picking items so much as we are picking contestants. The item task is just the mechanism for that.
This is another monster-in-a-can item that barely passes scrutiny mostly by virtue of the fact that the effect doesn't really act like a monster.
The ability to put the whammy on folks and compel them to use an Attack of Opportunity is clever.
I recommend that you vote for this designer.
What I like:
Items that play off of ki points are always neat. (I say, having gained entrance into last years contest through such an item...) And kudos on consistently remembering to italicize ki! I'm not 100% sure that this needs to be a monk/ninja oriented item, though. But more on that in a bit.
What I love:
The visuals and description on this are really, really nice. Which, since you came in more than a hundred words under is pretty impressive in itself. Admittedly, the effects are fairly simple, which undoubtedly kept your word count down, but you also resisted the urge to fill up any remaining space with extraneous description, which still managing to paint a pretty nice picture of the item and its visual effects. Well done.
What needs a little sumptin' sumptin'...
I realize that this is priced as a low level item, and it's more or less directly replicating a few minor spell effects to boot, but the main problem I'm seeing here is that, even by the time a low level character has this as a reasonable part of his WBL, the low save DCs on the spell effects make using this close to a waste of an action & ki point. I mean, a 1,200 gp item that isn't a weapon or armor- you'd be what, 4th or 5th level? I'm not sure how well DC 10 and 11 effects will be cutting it vs. any opponents you might be up against by then. And it quickly decreases in effectiveness after that point. Yeah, the ki candle is nifty to look at, and the effect remains pretty, I'm just not sure how much use I'd see out of it.
But lest I seem to critical on this point, I do like the bundling of the two effects. If I did own this item, I'd probably be using it as much to burn up bad guys attacks of opportunity as for a potential daze. Of course, they won't be my attacks of opportunity, since I'm using a standard action to set this off. Might be good if I'm trying to support a mobile-oriented combatant, though. But since I'm a monk, I probably am one of the more mobile combatants in the party, so...
All in all...
I have a few problems with the functionality, of this, as I mentioned above, but don't get me wrong; I still like it. There are a couple of thigns I'd like to change; either boost the DCS a bit (and thus the cost, which might not be optimal); maybe remove the AoO save DC altogether (thus making it automatically provoke them & burn them off), or else doing something to lower the cost just a touch and make it a truly low level item, something you can find at first level and make use of for a few adventures. But regardless of that, it is a cool little item and you demonstrate some good writing ability here. So, congratulations & welcome to RPG Superstar!
I like the imagery here. Sometimes magic should feel like this: delicate, mysterious, almost whimsical. Though I’d prefer a better description than just that it irritates the creatures it passes by – this seems more like a will-o-wispy compulsion. I think this is a great use of color/fiction to make a simple effect feel fresh and clever.
If I were playing a monk, I’m not sure I’d be so excited to find this, since I’d rather be using my superspeed to get into melee and mix it up. I’d like this for a bard to use after he starts singing, or for a fragile thief to protect himself while getting into position. I’m not as opposed to class-restrictive items as some of the other judges seem to be, but monk seems like the wrong choice.
You've put together a great visual and a clever twist on a UC spell. I'm glad that you tried to go for a low-costing item (I think those are more difficult to pull off), but you misstepped a few times.
I like the ki flavour, but, as the other judges have mentioned, the item doesn't quite support monks and ninjas. Unfortunately, monks and ninjas normally have something better to do with their standard actions. For example, a monk could rather use the Panther Style to chew up an enemy's AoOs.
However, the action economy issue and reliance on ki can be tweaked and fixed. Your ability to see spells differently seems to be one of your key strengths. I'd say that's the important thing. Welcome to the Top 32 and good luck during round 2.
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Judges and guest judges, thank you very much for your comments on my wondrous item! I'm very honored to be in the top 32.
Once I've finished my round 2 entry, I'll gladly respond to all comments and questions about my wondrous item. :)
Congratulations Mikko,
Backing up a place as an alternate last year with a Top 32 place this year is very cool!
Congrats, Mikko. I actually thought of something very similar (forcing attacks of opportunity) after I submitted my entry and was already planning to keep it in the hopper for next year. Guess I won't bother with that now, but I really like the design area. : )
I really like this item, great visuals and a really neat effect, *but* I think there are too many drawbacks. For an item that requires you to have a ki pool, and dazes you if it gets hit, and then might not be useful by the time you're likely to be using it....
Some good mojo, some less good rules-fu. Knowing you're just shy of a repeat competitor means you're one of the ones to watch though, good work!
Very useful tactically at very low levels. The saving throws are so low that, on average, unless you're using it against severely gimped creatures, its chances of working are pretty low but it can actually work. You just need an honest GM. I'm certain there are plenty of creatures with negative saves or similar, really low level fighter with a dumped Wisdom perhaps, but an 11 is something I look at and don't see it going far in terms of possible use. Definitely not at higher levels.
That being said, as I squelch the inner min-maxer, I love the possible usefulness in tactical combat, which is always something I endorse at the table, and the visuals of ki turning into a butterfly is purdy. So purdy that I think it should fascinate as well.
I'm very impressed at how visual many of the Top 32 items this year are and this one doesn't disappoint.
The only thing that is holding me back is that it requires ki. But I do like the concept of being able to eat up an opponent's AoO.
I'm having flashbacks from when I was a little kid collecting fireflies and placing them in a jar. And after a certain period of time, we'd let them loose out of the jar and then become distracted with them by chasing them around or swatting around at them. But in your case, you're compelled to do so.
Now imagine that being used to distract some pesky goblins...
Glad to see you back for real this time, Mikko. I remember watching your play-at-home work last year and thinking what a waste it was that you'd been stuck as an alternate. Welcome to the show!
I really like this item, great visuals and a really neat effect, *but* I think there are too many drawbacks. For an item that requires you to have a ki pool, and dazes you if it gets hit, and then might not be useful by the time you're likely to be using it....
Some good mojo, some less good rules-fu. Knowing you're just shy of a repeat competitor means you're one of the ones to watch though, good work!
Dazes the attacker not the user :)
Congratulations Mikko! Now this time its official. :)
I like your visuals, too often the visuals focus on the item, and not on the magic. Magic is the wondrous in a wondrous item right?!? Good luck! :)
I like this one. The use of ki certainly limits it, but I do see this in use for my monk character.
To address some of the concerns above:
Save DCs are low, but the opponents I'd be using this against probably won't have very high will saves. After standard action I still have my move action (and greater speed because I'm a monk) to get away/get to flank my opponents. Of course I can always try my luck with acrobatics, but it doesn't help my allies and the combat maneuver defense of my opponents are often high, and tumbling reduces my speed (or increases the DC drastically).
As for the Panther style example, I think this has an entirely different effect. With Panther style I can make one attack as a swift action against opponent, but with this lamp I'll potentially draw away AoO's from multiple opponents. And the daze effect certainly is a nice bonus =).
I can't think of any other item dealing with attack of opportunities, and this one has tight mechanics and great flavor. I'd have to use this in my games to see if this is good for, say a 6th level monk, but I can surely see why this one is in top 32. Good luck for second round!
I like this one a lot. It's very flavourful, and its got a solid use that I'd turn to frequently during play. It's also got a tactical consideration: which creature to fly past first, etc. Restricting it to ki users actually improves it, in my mind. It's nice to have something that's unique to your class sometimes.
Looking forward to your next submission.
I like this one a lot. The only drawback is the ki. Share this awesome item with every class! You know what they say, spread the wealth and the wealth will spread you...like butter on toasty goodness...oh wait, who said that? Never mind. Great item, can't wait to read your organization.
Dazes the attacker not the user...
Oh, okay, that makes a huge difference. I read backlash of ki and assumed user, despite it clearly saying attacker right there.
Hmm, knowing that, it's a lot less dangerous to use, and a bit more interesting.
So a fighter wizard and a rogue walk into a bar, their monk friend is outside and uses a vexing butterfly to make a grand entrance...
Ki five for awesome.
Mikko, great work congrats. I hope you win and add this to a moduale.
Hey, a familiar face from the collaboration thread! Congratulations!
I like the flavor and the elegance of this item. It does exactly what it's designed to do in a way that is interesting but not overbearing.
The ki point has already been made, so I'll let that lie. It's interesting, because we had this discussion about the saddle in the thread referenced above -- how to maintain a tight design but a broad appeal.
As a future voter, my advice is to hook us harder with core concept. Your flavor on this is good (terracotta, blue glow of ki, sparkling dragon-fly...) but the core concept is a creature that zips out 50' and provokes attacks of opportunity. After coming up with the flavor, I wish you'd revisited your concept and pumped it up a bit, spicing up the core idea and the mechanics to match the flair of the description. This year's ghostvision gloves are a great example of an item with a cool core concept (sight that perceives hidden undead) that leads directly to cool mechanics (flat-footed to the living, able to target incorporeals hiding in walls).
Good luck next round.
Ant Health Warning: this year, I really worked hard on technical execution of my item, so these reviews will likely reflect template use. Brace yourselves for the template fu - it can sting.
Template Use: 10/10
template fu feels good, a flawless template, he gives you a coconut!
template fu thinks that a standard action is normal for activating a wondrous item? If so, you could have saved a few words.
Slot affinity: 8/10
Slot doesnt apply here, so I will score based on mu instincts as usual.
I did wonder whether the lamp itself should have
some hardness, AC, etc., as if used against me, I would be targetting it to prevent it being used multiple times against me. I also thought, hmmm, so if I am at the back in a long corridor, using this item would irritate my own party members as it flies past to get to the enemy.
Abuseability: 9/10
Not very, unless the entire party are ki users each having a lamp. You are also only provoking until the first attack hits, so thats cool too.
Desirability: 9/10
Unfortunately, in my campaign we keep things pretty vanilla, so ki doesnt come into our game hardly ever. But if it did, boy would we want this.
Originality: 8/10
Love the visuals. I wasnt sure about butter fly, that seemed innocuous to being distracting, but a will-o-the-wisp would be a nice alternative. I dont think butterflies "buzz".
My first "stand out" favourite this year - well done.
Ant Score: 44/50 (88%)
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Dragonflies not butterflies! The difference between a dragonfly and a butterfly is almost of the same magnitude as the difference between a dragon and butter. I blame Neil for talking about butterflies, and now everyone seems to think I wrote a butterfly item. :D
Seriously though, THANK YOU for the amazingly kind comments and suggestions on how to make my wondrous item better! If time allows, I'll write a longer reply to discuss my round 1 entry in more depth.
It's because we all treat Neil as the Gospel Evangelical of RPG Superstar. What he says is absolute! Word.
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I read through everyone's comments again, and these are my conclusions:
* Turning compel hostility into an effect that draws attacks of opportunity was a good idea.
* My writing and visuals were evocative.
But...
* The item doesn't work as well as a monk/ninja item as it would as an item that everyone can use.
* The save DCs are too low.
So...
If I had to rewrite the item, I'd definitely increase the save DCs. That said, I did not intend this item to be useful against every opponent, mostly just big brutes who have poor Will saves and whose attacks of opportunity are most likely to hurt you or your allies.
Another use I envisioned for the item was detecting hiding creatures. Is there a ninja hiding behind that statue? Buzz buzz buzz SLICEbzzz... Yep, a ninja. :D
As for ki, I'm still a little divided, but I totally understand your point. OwlbearRepublic mentioned the collaboration thread, and there I argued against putting an alignment restriction on the item we were designing, so why did I put a class restriction on my own wondrous item?
Well, basically I didn't think of my design choice as something that limits your options, on the contrary, I wanted to create something that expands your options by giving a new way to use ki. Most monks and ninjas can only make an extra attack, move faster or gain a dodge bonus with ki, so it would be nice to give them more options. :P
So, if anyone was wondering why I made that poor design choice, now you know. :)
I even considered giving the "ki light" the user's Wis bonus to AC to give it more monk flavor, but ditched that idea to keep it simple, and because ninjas don't have a Wis-based AC bonus like monks do.
Another idea I didn't use was that if the light is not destroyed and it ends its movement in the same square as the user, you get your ki point back, making the lamp's use a little less resource intensive.
About flavor: I didn't expect a lot of people would know this, but in real-life Japan the dragonfly (not butterfly!) is a traditional and still popular decorative motif, much like the sakura (cherry blossom). And ki and Asia/Tian Xia go together well. In the west, on the other hand, I think dragonflies symbolize the fleeting nature of things in life. Most dragonflies have short lifespans (just like the "ki light" buzzing in front of an angry bunch of giants...) So, in other words, choosing the dragonfly (not butterfly!) theme was no coincidence.
Sorry about the wall of text! =)
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The difference between a dragonfly and a butterfly is almost of the same magnitude as the difference between a dragon and butter.
I think this might be the line of the competition so far, Mikko. It needs to go into a .sig file.
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The difference between a dragonfly and a butterfly is almost of the same magnitude as the difference between a dragon and butter.I think this might be the line of the competition so far, Mikko. It needs to go into a .sig file.
Hahah, thanks Jacob. :D
Congratulations on making the top 32! And good luck further of in the competition.
Your item:
My First Impression Hmm, I don't like that this is ki based. I have loads of monks in my games, but honestly, few of them strikes me as the sort of characters to use this. That said, it's a decent idea, drawing AoOs with an annoying insect.
Analysis
Name: Hmm, it's actually a good name, so don't ask me why I don't like it. I think it's "Vexing", I never did like that word. You tell me approximately what I get, and that's a good thing in my book.
Template: This has got to be one of the best uses of the template around. Grats on that.
Description and Clarity: I don't know why, but I don't find the writing all that evocative. I'm the effects seems to look good and you describe them fairly well, but something I can't put my fingers on makes me unable to quite understand this. I think it's the ki part, to be honest. I don't feel like there's any reason for it. That said, I though I would find unclear language when going through this, since it confused me so, but it actually seems neat and clear all around.
Effect and Originality: Forcing AoOs are neat, but it doesn't go way out there and amazes me. Try to go just a little more for the impressive. You've got everything else well down. Don't use ki just to make it feel more original, or whatever else your reason was. It just seems confused to me. I think a fighter character in one of my games would have liked this, if not for the ki part.
At the end of it all... I can't find it in me to really like this, but your attention to detail and use of game elements gets you my attention. Wauw me a little more with your organization, and I think you've got good chances here.
Though you didn't like the item, thanks for the honest review, Luthia. I guess I should try to broaden the appeal of my entries. :)
I won't say it's a bad item - it's just not a favourite. You've got the idea, so I think it's a matter of personal point of view. I think my only real issue is with the ki prerequisite. Limits it too much. Other than that, could use a little shine, but I actually like it more for going carefully through it, so don't worry too much. Now, weren't you supposed to be submitting an organization soon? What are you doing here? :)
Good luck with it...
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Though you didn't like the item, thanks for the honest review, Luthia. I guess I should try to broaden the appeal of my entries. :)I won't say it's a bad item - it's just not a favourite. You've got the idea, so I think it's a matter of personal point of view. I think my only real issue is with the ki prerequisite. Limits it too much. Other than that, could use a little shine, but I actually like it more for going carefully through it, so don't worry too much. Now, weren't you supposed to be submitting an organization soon? What are you doing here? :)
Good luck with it...
Alright, og takk! :) I actually already submitted my organization on Thursday, so no worries!
I can think of some fun ways to cause mischief and mayhem with this item, not all of them in combat. The description is great and evocative, and it has a distinctive flavor that really stands out. This is an item I'd love to place in a treasure hoard for the characters to find because it would immediately draw attention to itself.
Excellent work!
Very clever way to make things use their AoOs, which is honestly something I never even though of doing. Also I like the visual of various creatures suddenly getting so pissed off at this thing to attack it mid-battle. What's funnier, the knight slashing at it or the ogre? Maybe the wizard...
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Congratulations, Mikko! Monks rarely get any love (I realize this could be useful for any character with a ki pool, but still...), and the fact that you can use this item to disrupt Attacks of Opportunity is quite spiffy.
I look forward to seeing what you being in the next round!
Congrats again, Mikko. This item irritates me, but mostly because I had an idea for an item that also drew AoOs after I submitted my haunting glass and I'd already resolved to save it for next year. Now I guess I'm just going to have to get far enough this year that I don't have to worry about it! : )
Seriously, while I tend to prefer items that can be usable by any class, I like the area you're playing with here, and I like the dragonfly visual a lot. I like the dazed potential a lot as that part of the idea hadn't occurred to me and really does a nice job of adding to the item's effects, though I think it's kind of funny that it punishes someone for actually hitting. (It would also mean you potentially draw fewer AoOs, since the item could be destroyed by the first person it passes, which is an interesting tradeoff for a player.)
I might tweak it for my campaign to just operate once per day and not have to use a point of ki but that's mostly because I may not have a ki-user in my campaigns.
I like this item. I love the flavor.
My critiques are all summed up by Sean, and you responded to them, so I don't have much new. I love the dragonfly visual. My only real problem with it is that I would like to hand this out to a lvl 2-3 party, but the monk wont be able to use it until level 4. At the price, I can't see someone buying it, but I can totally see groups keeping it if they found it. That is the price point I like.
If you were keeping the ki element, I would scale the DCs off of monk level. 1/2 lvl + wis mod would work, but this may be a poor design choice.
Does the action of using the lamp provoke an AoO? I know it makes sense to be standing back when you use this item, or to activate it once before moving into combat. I'm imagining that a monk would move into melee range eary on, though, and what if he wanted to continue to use this while in that range?
I know as a player I'd be excited to try this out with my character, because it offers me an interesting tactical support option for my monk. If I was shopping, though, I know I'd hesitate when I saw the low save DC. I'd be worried that my new cool item would not be effective.
Thank you for designing an item that so easily engages the imagination! I like it.
I really like this one. Very original. Cool visuals. Well-written. Maybe not worth a ki point, I'm not that familiar with monks in Pathfinder. Definitely in my top 5. Good luck.
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Thanks everyone! :)
Using ki doesn't normally provoke an AoO, so I don't think using this item should either even though it's a standard action not swift action. The rules state that use-activated items don't provoke AoOs, "unless the use involves performing an action that provokes an attack of opportunity in itself".
Actually, command word items don't provoke AoOs either, so as a general rule, the use of wondrous items doesn't provoke unless it's specifically mentioned.
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Congrats on Top 32!
Reading through the comments, you've already realized anything that I could possibly have to say about this item right now, so I will just say that I look forward to seeing what else you have to offer in the later rounds.
Extra kudos for doing something interesting with the ki mechanic that hasn't really been done yet.
Best of luck, sir!
First I’m immediately drawn to the lamp being terracotta, good choice there I think. I like the light pulling and even punishing opportunity attacks, and I love how low level this item is. Any of my characters with ki would want this item.
Vexing Spirit Lamp
Aura faint enchantment; CL 1st
Slot —; Price 1,200 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
This ornate terracotta lamp usually bears motifs of flying dragonflies. When held by a creature with at least 1 point in his ki pool, the lamp sheds a blue light as bright as a candle.As a standard action, the user can spend a point of ki to mold the light into a fluttering, sparkling dragonfly-like shape and move it up to 50 feet as though it were a Diminutive flying creature that automatically succeeds on Fly checks. Unless destroyed mid-flight, the light winks out with a hiss at the end of the turn.
The buzzing and scintillating light is irritating to creatures other than the user, compelling them to make attacks of opportunity against it as it moves through threatened squares (Will DC 11 negates). The light has an AC of 20. If hit, it erupts in a shower of sparks, and a backlash of ki energy causes the attacker to be dazed for 1 round (Will DC 10 negates). Both effects are mind-affecting compulsions.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, compel hostility, dancing lights, daze; Cost 600 gp
Disclaimer:
Note:
Fair is foul and foul is fair supposedly . Basically, though, does this item have any useful application in a spa?
Repeat after me. Succubi are not monks. Succubi are not samurai. Succubi do not tap into the sort of energies required to employ this lamp. So no.
Assuming for a moment that it’s more convenient to pay taxes than to circumvent the system, does this item look likely to be a tax-deductible business expense for a succubus art-dealer?
Repeat after me... Wait. Actually, it's cheap enough, just about to stick it on the list of 'expendable breakables' which some tax regimes allow you to throw at minions or annoying pretend-customers to vent frustration.
Is the item useful in a strawberries-and-cream-tea context?
Again, repeat after me. Succubi are not monks. Succubi are not samurai. Succubi do not tap into the sort of energies required to employ this lamp. So no.
Other Comments?
I can report that 'testing these items to destruction', whilst expensive, is very satisfying. About the only thing they have going for them is the very nice pottery crashing sound they make as they break. Music to a succubus' ears.
Gollum Rating: