Staff of Randomness (a fun somewhat cursed object, great for parties)

[Mystic_Snowfang]

This staff is a wooden staff that is finely carved with monkeys on the top. It doesn't appear to be magical until someone picks it up. It has a 50% chance of activating every turn it is held.

Here are the things it causes

001 - Turned into an awakened version of your favourite animal
002- Changed Gender (for a day)
003- You now have a lizard tail
004- Anvil drops on head from nowhere
006- Grows cat ears
007- Nothing happens
008- All magical effects are removed
009- Hair changes colour (up to DM's choice)
010- Underclothes teleport two feet away
011- Turn invisible
012- Clothes turn invisible
013- Faint
014-025 Nothing happens
026- Personal raincloud appears above holder of staff and remains above them for the rest of the day
027- You are colourblind for the rest of the day
028- A swarm of monkeys is summoned and they fling poop at everyone
029- An octopus appears out of nowhere and sprays you with ink, then vanishes
030- a small rodent runs up your pant leg
031- Your pants fall down
032- Your pants and underwear falls down
032- The staff begins to beat you around the ears
033-045- Nothing happens
046- You turn into a cat for 1d3 minuets
047- You now smell of sunk spray
048- Your skin turns blue
049- Your skin turns green
050- Your skin turns purple
051- Eye colour changes (up to DM's choice)
052- You now have the nose of a pig (for the rest of the day)
053- Lemons appear above you and fall on your head, until you are buried under a pile of lemons
054- There is a loud thunderclap
056- The staff hits you in the groin, repeatedly
057- You are now magnetized for the rest of the day, metal objects fly at you
059- Biting bugs find you very tasty for the rest of the day
060- You are turned into a child again, this can be only removed by "remove curse" or other such magic
061- You are now a dog for the rest of the day
062- You grow giant feathery wings
063- You grow bat wings
064- A ball flies out of nowhere and beans you in the noggin
065- Your pants rip, and for some reason you are wearing undergarments with an embarrassing print
066- Your pants fall down, and for some reason you are wearing underwear that isn't suited to your gender
067- The staff comes to life and hits you in the arse
068- 080- Nothing happens
081- You become very stupid for the rest of the day
082- Your breath now smells of radish and onion
083- You are now covered in raw eggs
085- You get a splinter in your foot, and it hurts a lot
086- You now have a duck's bill for the rest of the day
089- You now can hear everyone's thoughts, but only when they're thinking about you
090- You are now soaked, as if you fell in water
091- You fall over and land on your face
092- you loose control of your motor functions for the next 1d6 hours and walk into things, and everything tastes wrong.
093- Your attention span is now that of a squirrel, this only lasts for 1d6 hours
094- Pebbles keep appearing in your shoes for the next 1d6 hours
095- You get sand in your undergarments, and you don't know where it came from
096- You have minor bad luck for the next two days and very embarrassing things happen to you
097- A fly flies up your nose
098- You get a very bad itch where you can't reach it
099- You are suddenly very dizzy and land on your arse
000- Your favourite food appears in front of you.

[Sphen]

This is a fun little item.

[Umbral Reaver]

You might want to specify the duration and effects of these things.

[Goth Guru]

I'm gonna replace 33-45 with other stuff. Want to join me?

33. Pennies from Heaven. It rains copper pieces. 1D20 inches.
34. Nothing REALLY happens. Next 1D6 random encounters come back negatives. This includes wandering monsters, watch patrols, and even this staff.
35. Reset. All the continuing results of this staff are reset to normal. A character turned into a child grows up, the pig nose swaps for the character's true nose, ect.

Adding another D10 as the hundreds place really opens this up.
If you openly roll for this and a number reoccurs, it's nice to substitute one of the overflow results.

[Cyrad]

Basically like a rod of wonder? I do like some of the effects

[Artifix]

42) You know the answer to life the universe and everything!
36) All armor you are wearing is now cursed, and you can't remove it.
37) Anything in your hands is now cursed and can't be dropped.

[Scud422]

Artifix wrote:

36) All armor you are wearing is now cursed, and you can't remove it*.

*Except for your pants in relation to other rolls with this staff.

[Goth Guru]

Scud422 wrote:

Artifix wrote:

36) All armor you are wearing is now cursed, and you can't remove it*.

*Except for your pants in relation to other rolls with this staff.

Yes. Each new result supersedes the previous ones.

[Xunriina]

Wabbajack?

[Goth Guru]

000.2 I AM AN ARTIFACT! For the staff holder, all artifacts seem to be screaming that. Removable by the staff, mythic abjuration, gods, and artifacts. Treat the character as partially deaf.

[Pizza Lord]

38) Staff spins like a propeller for 1 minute, hovering on its own and following the user. Roll a 1d6 to determine the staff's orientation. Attacks passing through the protected border from either side receive a -2 to hit (or a +2 deflection bonus to the target) and the attacker takes staff damage (including enhancement bonuses but not Strength damage) if using a natural or melee weapon. 2-5 indicates north, east, south, or west orientation, 6 indicates it helicopters above the user's head and damages anyone dropping downward or the user if he jumps up or rises too quickly, and a 1 indicates that it spins rapidly beneath the user's feet for 1 minute, whacking them in the knees or shins for staff damage and lowering movement by half (a successful DC 15 Acrobatics checks lets the character avoid damage and move normally that round.) Optionally, on a roll of 6, the staff helicopters and somehow carries the character upwards at 10 feet per round for 1d10 rounds before stopping.

[Goth Guru]

39: The staff changes the owners sexual orientation.
Suffice it to say one possibility is whatever Goat Toucher's orientation is.

[The Sideromancer]

Mystic_Snowfang wrote:

001 - Turned into an awakened version of your favourite animal

As somebody who likes animals that have different respiratory systems than myself, I thought "starting off with a one-hit kill? really?"

[Pizza Lord]

39: Staff becomes a giant oak tree for 1 hour (or until dispelled) with a 10 foot by 10 foot single-room tree-house in its branches and the user inside. If inside or underground, it becomes a becomes a single-room shed with the equivalent of a wall of thorns hedge all around it extending out 50 feet, possibly down passages or corridors if not blocked by doors or other barriers.

40: Two spearheads pop out of both ends of the staff for one hour, one mithril and one adamantine, allowing it to function as a double-weapon that can be wielded proficiently by users capable of using a quarterstaff or spear (though it deals damage as a spear). It also gains the returning property and can be thrown as a spear.

41: A swarm of black asps and scarab beetles fly from the end of the staff and writhe on the ground, filling the spaces around and containing the user. Anyone trying to move through the area can move at half speed to avoid the creatures. These are actually black licorice whips and candies concealed by illusion (Will DC 16 to disbelieve if interacted with) and are of no harm to anyone (unless eaten, then... eww).

42: Something-something Life, the Universe, and Everything, as noted by Artifix. [Optionally: your world may by destroyed to make way for an interstellar super-highway and the staff may transform into a towel.]

43: Staff transforms into a damp towel for 1 hour. If rolled, it may be used to attack as a whip (5 foot reach only). If dried... it may be used as a towel.