"In my life, I have prayed but one prayer: Oh, Lord, make my enemies look ridiculous. And God granted it."
-Voltaire
"I dislike blasphemy on purely rational grounds. If there is no God, blasphemy is stupid and unnecessary; if there is, then it's damned dangerous."
-Flan O'Brien
"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."
-Archbishop Fulton Sheen
"My mother said to me, "If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope." Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso."
-Pablo Picasso
"Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought"
-Pope John Paul II
"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows."
-Pope Paul VI
"Preach the Gospel at all times; and, if necessary, use words."
-Saint Francis of Assisi
|
Perhaps not terribly historical, but I like:
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
English is the result of Norman men-at-arms attempting to pick up Saxon barmaids and is no more legitimate than any of the other results.
This one's apocryphal, as are most stories about Voltaire, but it's funny whether it's true or not:
A French priest heard that the famous apostate was on his death-bed and ran over to Jean-Marie's home. Bursting into the bedroom, he shouted "Now, my son, is the time to renounce Satan!"
To which Voltaire replied "Now is not the time to be making new enemies."
Hee hee!
(Hope I haven't been ninja'ed)
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I have a file of quotes that I like. I am going to have to add a few from this topic to that list when I get home. That said, here are a few of my favorites (I hope I am not repeating any):
“The human condition is a mess and always has been, and visions of perfecting it are a snare and a delusion, but we can all grab for great moments - for one floating instant, to do better than we think we can. Heroes are just people who are lucky or determined enough to match the moment - and at least once, to get it right when it matters.”
- Lois McMaster Bujold
“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast.”
- Lewis Carroll
“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”
- Sir Winston Churchill
“I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
- Sir Winston Churchill
"The press is easier to strangle than to look in the eyes."
- Sir Winston Churchill
“Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.”
- Thomas Alva Edison
“There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity. And I am unsure about the universe.”
- Albert Einstein
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
- Albert Einstein
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
- Albert Einstein
“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.”
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.”
- Henry Ford
“Imagination is one weapon in the war against reality.”
- Jules de Gaultier
“The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.”
- Henry Kissinger
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.”
- Abraham Lincoln
“The most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.”
- H. P. Lovecraft
"Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers."
- Mignon Mclaughlin
“Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.”
- Ronald Reagan
“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
- Will Rogers
“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
- Mark Twain [Samuel Langhornne Clemens]
“Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.”
- Mark Twain [Samuel Langhornne Clemens]
“The history of the race, and each individual's experience, are thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.”
- Mark Twain [Samuel Langhornne Clemens]
To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours.”
- Mark Twain [Samuel Langhornne Clemens]
“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.”
- H. G. Wells
"I'm sorry but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black men, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each others' happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.
Greed has poisoned men's souls; has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge as made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all.
Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say "Do not despair." The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.
Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder! Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men---machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have a love of humanity in your hearts! You don't hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural.
Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it’s written “the kingdom of God is within man”, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power.
Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill their promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness.
Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!"-The Great Dictator, Charlie Chaplin.
This speech might not be from real life. However I feel it's meaning is retained.
"We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things."
- Gen. Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller, USMC, Battle of Chosin Reservoir, Korean War, 1950
To the U.S.A. Commander of the encircled town of Bastogne.
The fortune of war is changing. This time the U.S.A. forces in and near Bastogne have been encircled by strong German armored units. More German armored units have crossed the river Our near Ortheuville, have taken Marche and reached St. Hubert by passing through Hompre-Sibret-Tillet. Libramont is in German hands. There is only one possibility to save the encircled U.S.A. troops from total annihilation: that is the honourable surrender of the encircled town. In order to think it over a term of two hours will be granted beginning with the presentation of this note. If this proposal should be rejected one German Artillery Corps and six heavy A. A. Battalions are ready to annihilate the U.S.A. troops in and near Bastogne. The order for firing will be given immediately after this two hours term. All the serious civilian losses caused by this artillery fire would not correspond with the well-known American humanity.
-The German Commander.
***
To the German Commander.
NUTS!
-The American Commander
"All men are the same except for their belief in their own selves, regardless of what others may think of them."
- Miyamoto Musashi.