If you were a supervillain, what would your secret lair be like?


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Scarab Sages

Personally, mine would be a fake seaside town with my headquarters underneath. I'd have an undersea section to, just off the coast, with a submarine that travelled back and forth between the two.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Since I'm planning on being a supervillain, I can't tell you.


I think mine would be a hollowed out mountain kindda like the dwarven stronghold in Lord of the Rings. Naturally I'd have plenty of underground escape routes to stop those pesky hero types from catching me, Plus once they do discover my ulta secret hidda away I would set up a FAKE!! self destruct so they would all bug out and then my mountain would go into lock down so they'd pay heck to get back in.
I'm not one for blowing up perfectly good real estate. I would IF I had to but it's just easier to have a panic room and flood the whole place with colorless,odorless poison gas.

I wouldn't be a cruel villain, I certainly wouldn't kill the heroes. The best way to consign a hero to a living death is to unmask them and make their secret ID public. That mess pretty much removes them for awhile letting me finish my plans of total economic domination.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

When the villains come to comfront me, I'd be the one telling them.

"You want to know my master stroke? The only reason I'd tell you is that I completed it 30 minutes ago."

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

I would hide it under a National Landmark, like the Statue of Liberty, so that if Law Enforcement/Military/Supeheroes attack they would be risking the destruction of a national treasure.

Further, I would, of course, power it with an unlicensed Nuclear Reactor, which I could trigger to go into melt down if I am in serious danger of defeat. The heroes would be forced to deal the crisis (or again, the landmark would be rendered unusable). This would give me time to escape ...


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Mine would be the White House, just as soon as I take over the USA and make everyone my slaves.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

Xabulba wrote:
Mine would be the White House, just as soon as I take over the USA and make everyone my slaves.

So you are with the Tea Party?


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Lord Fyre wrote:
Xabulba wrote:
Mine would be the White House, just as soon as I take over the USA and make everyone my slaves.
So you are with the Tea Party?

I say away from them, They're nuttier than the Joker.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Actually I'd amend my statement, my secret headquarters would be in Times Square on the northern edge facing south.


If I were a supervilain I build my secret headquarters right here

why mess about, right?


LazarX wrote:
Actually I'd amend my statement, my secret headquarters would be in Times Square on the northern edge facing south.

Too soon man.

Sovereign Court

Well, I would masquerade as a superhero and use their headquarters as my evil supervillain headquarters. No one would suspect a thing!

Mwahahahahahaha!!!

Of course you realize I must now destroy you all lest my evil plan be revealed.

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Mine would be built to code.

If you know what I mean.


A nuclear power plant right next to an orphanage, a school for the blind, and a puppy store.

Go ahead, bomb me, i dare you...


Most of the information is classified, but I can tell you that the ventilation system will not be large enough for heroes to go crawling through...and just to be safe I'll probably infest them with acid-injecting mechanical spiders, or something.

Sovereign Court

Aberzombie wrote:

Personally, mine would be a fake seaside town with my headquarters underneath. I'd have an undersea section to, just off the coast, with a submarine that travelled back and forth between the two.

Do you have your long, villainous monologue prepared?

Dark Archive

my secret base would be a working hospital, maybe a children's hospital...

and my WMDs would have a cancel/stop button that shocks people, whats the point of instaling a self-defeating option in your WMDs?


A cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave within a cave.


I want an extra-dimensional pocket guarded by radioactive ninja zombies.

The Exchange

Chef's Slaad wrote:

If I were a supervilain I build my secret headquarters right here

why mess about, right?

FIFY


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A giant Fish bowl on an internet forum...filled with loyal Fishys and crazy people.


Doesn't Mr. Fishy already have that? Is Mr. Fishy already a supervillain?


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>Fishy Grin<


My lair would have to have two qualities, mobility and being undetectable. That way I can carry my schemes out wherever I want with no one interfering because they can't find me.


I can't tell you. It's supposed to be secret. All I can tell you is: Big surprise!

But here are some things I have previously thought about but discarded:

  • A big amusement park with a "The Villain's Lair" ride. That way you could hide in plain sight AND get extra funds because people pay to drive through your lair. Plus access to test subjects! However, it's hard to hatch evil plans with a bunch of tourists cheering you on.
  • Remote natural setting, like tidal cave, volcano or the like. That's always the first place they look. Plus, horrible access to the power, utilities, streets and the like.
  • Deep-Sea fortress over 10000m under the sea, in the Mariana Trench. Great symbolism, but even worse than the volcano.


  • A zeplin filled with loyal zombie minions.


    In a convenience store.


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    doctor_wu wrote:
    A zeplin filled with loyal zombie minions.

    Wouldn't work: A Zeppelin needs to be filled with lighter-than-air gases.

    The Exchange

    Someone once told me: beneath the suburbs with multiple safe houses as exits. Let the Hero explain why he blew up a suburb to get me.


    KaeYoss wrote:
    doctor_wu wrote:
    A zeplin filled with loyal zombie minions.
    Wouldn't work: A Zeppelin needs to be filled with lighter-than-air gases.

    I think you took that too literally it will still have helium but loyal zombie minons abord it to stop people from boarding it.


    doctor_wu wrote:
    KaeYoss wrote:
    doctor_wu wrote:
    A zeplin filled with loyal zombie minions.
    Wouldn't work: A Zeppelin needs to be filled with lighter-than-air gases.
    I think you took that too literally it will still have helium but loyal zombie minons abord it to stop people from boarding it.

    Can't be too literal with villains. You're a doctor, apparently. That points toward the "mad scientist" type. Those guys are mad. Comes with the territory. They tend to have mad ideas. Not always rational.

    So I feel obliged to make sure you are still in touch with reality. That you not went over the bend already. That way lies the shame of becoming a Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain.


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    is concerned that such information is simply too much information

    feels that people are too curious about things that affect them

    *offers visual distortion instead*


    Since I'm such an awfully helpful guy, I have found an article that will prove exceptionally helpful to those of you who want to take this beyond the idle talk stages:

    6 essential companies for your future needs


    What do you mean, "If"?


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    Jiggy wrote:

    Mine would be built to code.

    If you know what I mean.

    If you mean "The Towering Inferno," sure, I know what you mean.

    If I were a super villain, my secret lair would be the waiting room at the DMV.

    Who the heck would know the difference, or care to look you in the eye to find out?


    Quote:
    "If you were a supervillain, what would your secret lair be like?"

    Awesome. Also secret.

    My decadent hilltop pleasure palace, of course, would be very public. Where else are they going to bring the tribute of tattered paperbacks, exotic meals and harem girls?


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    JMD031 wrote:
    My lair would have to have two qualities, mobility and being undetectable. That way I can carry my schemes out wherever I want with no one interfering because they can't find me.

    Sooo...a windowless white van? Paint the logo of a local (and real) contracting company on the side. That way you can park just about anywhere and people will just assume someone is getting some work done in their house. Also, if you are being followed, just pull into a Home Depot or Lowe's (or other home improvement mega-store) and get lost in the sea of identical vehicles.

    Liberty's Edge

    It'd be like the Batcave, only for me.


    Post office. I would make the heroes wait in line then have the tellers suddenly go on break right when they get to the front.

    Dark Archive

    A secret hidden land full of dinosaurs, maintained by alien technology. Could be in Antartica (Marvel's Savage Land), could be deep below the earth (Land of the Lost!).

    Or a base under the sea.

    Or a mobile space station.

    Yeah, my choices for awesome super-villain base have the potential for getting eaten by dinosaurs or killed by some terrible atmospheric failure, but, really, where's the fun in of playing it safe?


    An office inside one of the Pentagon's basements.


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    Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

    Deep back woods of Missouri in a natural cavern surrounded with lush forests. Multiple exit plans and hidden speakers surrounding the complex to pipe out a certain "unsettling" banjo song along with random Resident Evil style chuckling.

    If it's my evil lair, I want every one to know it, otherwise, whats the point of being evil? And creepy. Gotta be creepy.


    Below a supermax prison. That way I could tunnel into it to be in contact with the other crime bosses, and have a way out if my plans are foiled and I'm caught.


    Inside a mountain that's all anti-magicked up. A tunnel with an entrance at the top of a mountain, leading all the way to the bottom of the mountain, trapped all the way through, and every inch an anti-magic zone.

    Liberty's Edge

    My throne would have a holo-projection of me sitting in it, monologuing at the group. No way I'm going to sit there and be a flesh target.

    Then I would press a button and drop the metal ceiling on them.

    Not sure how to take care of the mess on the floor, I'm still working out the details.

    Dark Archive

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    Pygon wrote:

    My throne would have a holo-projection of me sitting in it, monologuing at the group. No way I'm going to sit there and be a flesh target.

    Then I would press a button and drop the metal ceiling on them.

    Not sure how to take care of the mess on the floor, I'm still working out the details.

    Just have all the wall decorations and the throne designed to ascend a meter after the meter thick metal ceiling drops, and the top of the new ceiling can become the new 'floor.'


    Heck you could even go ahead and put new floor furnishings on it before raising it the first time. They might be a little crumpled and dusty after the trap's been triggered, but that's what a cleaning staff is for.

    Grand Lodge

    Well, i would build my secret lair underneath landfill, no one bothers to bomb a landfill.

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

    Just going to leave this here without comment.

    Dark Archive

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    Charlie Bell wrote:
    Just going to leave this here without comment.

    Possible downsides

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