From my inbox:
PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD
DEPTTHE GUINNESS GAME SPOT PROMOTIONSLONDON.
UNITED KINGDOM SW1V3DWhttp://www.guinness.com/en-us/thebeer.htmlThis is to inform you of the release of email balloting held on the JULY SATURDAY 9TH,2011 by THE GUINNESS IRISH BOTTLING COMPANY on it's anniversary. For the first time ever THE GUINNESS IRISH BOTTLING COMPANY,have decided to celebrate it's anniversary by awarding £750,000.00 (SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND POUND STERLING) each to 5 lucky winners who were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from only Microsoftusers from over 30,00000 companies and 5,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world. This promotion is organizedby Guinness Ireland and Guinness England. However, the results were released on JULY 13, 2011 and your email was among the 5 Lucky winners who won £750,000.00 each on the anniversary ofthe GUINNESS IRISH BOTTLING COMPANY , and your email was attached to ticket number GB38844240 and ballot number 00147. To claim your prize, kindly send your ticket number (GB38844240) and your ballot number (00147) to your fiduciary agent with below information. FIDUCIARY AGENT:- Name: Mr. Andrew James E-mail:Mr.AdrewJamesGuinness@consultant.com Mobile: 0044-70107-07835
NOTE: Because of the volume of fraud perpetrating on internet this day, the board of directors of GUINNESS COMPANY has decided that all winners of Guinness will have their prize in cash. NO BANK TRANSFER, NO CHEQUEDELIVERY, NO PROCESSING FEE. Yours faithfully,Mrs. Sarah Anderson This e-mail is confidential. If you are not the intended recipient you must not disclose or use the information contained within. If you have received it in error please return it to the Guinness® & Co. atwww.guinness.com and delete any record of it from your system.
What nice people. Just giving away all that cash.
Please Reply Urgent
Bill & Exchange Manager.
Mr.IBRAHIM DANJUMA.Dear friend,
I am Mr.IBRAHIM DANJUMA am the manager of auditing and accounting department Bank of African(B.O.A) in Burkina faso. I would like you to indicate your interest to receive the transfer of$10.5 Million. I will like you to stand as the next of kin to my late client whose account is presently dormant, for claims.
(1) Full names:
(2) Private phone number:
(3) Current residential address:
(4) Occupation:
(5) Age and Sex:
Yours faithful,
Bill & Exchange Manager.
FROM Mr.IBRAHIM DANJUMA
All your identity are belong to us.
The amazing thing is, these scams have been around for like 15 years, yet there are still apparently enough people falling for them that they're still worthwhile.
Chief Technical Officer
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Here's my favorite from yesterday:
From: African Union Anti-Fraud UnitAttention,
To whom it may concern
This is from the African Union (AU) Anti-fraud team in collaboration with the United Nations (UN) and Economic and financial crimes commission (EFCC) in regards to the extensive raid (arrests) on Internet scammers here in Nigeria. Due to the high rate of complain we have been receiving from United Nations (UN) on the level of Scam artists/fraudsters with African nationalities. All the Internet Service Providers had noticed the increased email traffic originating from African to other continents.
In this raid, Five Hundred and seven (507) scammers were arrested so far and the raid is still on. We have recovered the total sum of US$3.2 Billion from them from both cash and assets confirmed to have come from their victims. As we have found hundreds of thousands of email addresses of victims from their address books. It is at this juncture that we are contacting you.
The African Union (AU) with the United Nation (UN) and economic and financial crimes commission (EFCC) are making refunds of US$750,000.00 each to victims whom his/her email address was listed on the scammer’s address books.
Please Contact Mr.Frank Sellers From Washington DC USA appointed by United Nations (UN)
His Email Address: [redacted] You are also require to reconfirm you full details to him so that he can know who to deal with.He will let you know the modalities with which your refunds will get to you.
NOTE:You are hereby advice not to contact those scammers again
Dr.Darren Olabisi
(Safety & Security Minister)
African Union Anti-Fraud Unit.
Here's my favorite from yesterday:
From: African Union Anti-Fraud UnitAttention,
To whom it may concern
This is from the African Union (AU) Anti-fraud team in collaboration with the United Nations (UN) and Economic and financial crimes commission (EFCC) in regards to the extensive raid (arrests) on Internet scammers here in Nigeria. Due to the high rate of complain we have been receiving from United Nations (UN) on the level of Scam artists/fraudsters with African nationalities. All the Internet Service Providers had noticed the increased email traffic originating from African to other continents.
In this raid, Five Hundred and seven (507) scammers were arrested so far and the raid is still on. We have recovered the total sum of US$3.2 Billion from them from both cash and assets confirmed to have come from their victims. As we have found hundreds of thousands of email addresses of victims from their address books. It is at this juncture that we are contacting you.
The African Union (AU) with the United Nation (UN) and economic and financial crimes commission (EFCC) are making refunds of US$750,000.00 each to victims whom his/her email address was listed on the scammer’s address books.
Please Contact Mr.Frank Sellers From Washington DC USA appointed by United Nations (UN)
His Email Address: [redacted] You are also require to reconfirm you full details to him so that he can know who to deal with.He will let you know the modalities with which your refunds will get to you.
NOTE:You are hereby advice not to contact those scammers again
Dr.Darren Olabisi
(Safety & Security Minister)
African Union Anti-Fraud Unit.
Wow - it's like an M.C. Escher work, but instead of hands drawing hands, it's a scam built off the proliferation of a scam. I suppose you have to give them points for creativity at that point.
All I get is offers for cheap viagra and *grow 2 inches guaranteed*
I have been getting warnings that my world of warcraft account is compromised and I have to log in and check if everything is ok/my world of warcraft account is suspected of being boted or subject to power leveling and I have to log in immediately and check/explain...
The only problem with those mails was the small matter of me not having world of warcraft account...
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I won!
Attention: Winner,
Your E-mail ID has won a Grant Donation of $1,000,000.00 USD from
the UNITED NATION GRANTED DONATION AWARD 2011.You are requested to contact Executive secretary for Procurement of Claims.
Promo Manager, Mr. Robin Steven
E-mail: blakelapthorn_solictor@inbox.al
Tel: +44-7017497329/+234-7064663737FULL NAMES:.......................
AGE/SEX:..........................
HOME ADDRESS:.....................
COUNTRY/STATE:....................
NATIONALITY:......................
PHONE:............................
OCCUPATION:.......................Once Again Congratulation
Sincerely,
Mrs. Grace Thompson(Promo Announcer)
United Nations Award Team®
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Today's fun and exciting new spam:
Dear sir:
Glad to hear that you're on the market for transmission belt.We manufacture transmission belt for several years, with the strength of timing belt and v belt, conveyor belt etc.with good quality and pretty competitive price.
Come to think of it, a conveyor belt going around the Paizo offices would be kinda of fun...
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I haven't seen a good phishing e-mail in a while (though I do get offers from Nigeria to set me up with $millions, notifications of winning the Euro lottery, etc. from time to time).
Typically I get pretty bland spam. I used to get a bunch of "Russian Brides available" e-mails. I still get the "male enhancement" e-mails (who doesn't). Then there is the slew of credit rating verification, random prescription, refinance now at a crazy low rate, and various whatnot spammy e-mails. But today, today I got an email for Pet Urns.
Yes, pet urns. What the hell do these folks have planned for my pack of pups?!?!
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99.9% sure this is spam
HELLO,
I AM PAUL AND I WILL LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU CARRY (HANDY BLAST) FOR SALE.AND IF YES,REPLY ME BACK WITH YOUR WEBSITE SO THAT I CAN SELECT THE ONE THAT I WILL LIKE TO ORDER,ALSO I AM SHIPPING THE (HANDY BLAST ) TO ONE OF MY COMPANY IN SWEDEN AND I WILL RECOMMEND A FREIGHT COMPANY FOR THE PICKED UP..THANK YOU AND HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
KIND REGARDS
THANK YOU...
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This one actually made me smile:
Dear Sir,Hope you are doing fine.
Today I would like to recommend a useful bag clip for your reference. Whether you call them bag clips or chip clips doesn't matter. They may be simple little devices but they can certainly make life easier. Whether you use them to seal up foods to keep them fresh and free from freezer burn or you just want to keep other items organized, contained, or free from dirt, they are a quick and easy tool. Welcomed to receive your email about this bag clip inquiry.
Bag chip clips for everyone!
99.9% sure this is spam
HELLO,
I AM PAUL AND I WILL LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU CARRY (HANDY BLAST) FOR SALE.AND IF YES,REPLY ME BACK WITH YOUR WEBSITE SO THAT I CAN SELECT THE ONE THAT I WILL LIKE TO ORDER,ALSO I AM SHIPPING THE (HANDY BLAST ) TO ONE OF MY COMPANY IN SWEDEN AND I WILL RECOMMEND A FREIGHT COMPANY FOR THE PICKED UP..THANK YOU AND HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
KIND REGARDS
THANK YOU...
All Swedes worth their salt would know to spell that name Pål.
Also: My eyes!!
This one actually made me smile:
Bag chip clips for everyone!
Dear Sir,Hope you are doing fine.
Today I would like to recommend a useful bag clip for your reference. Whether you call them bag clips or chip clips doesn't matter. They may be simple little devices but they can certainly make life easier. Whether you use them to seal up foods to keep them fresh and free from freezer burn or you just want to keep other items organized, contained, or free from dirt, they are a quick and easy tool. Welcomed to receive your email about this bag clip inquiry.
Polite spamming for the win!
Today's fun and exciting new spam:
Come to think of it, a conveyor belt going around the Paizo offices would be kinda of fun...
Dear sir:
Glad to hear that you're on the market for transmission belt.We manufacture transmission belt for several years, with the strength of timing belt and v belt, conveyor belt etc.with good quality and pretty competitive price.
For those of us not privileged enough to have a job at the inner works of Paizo the question must be asked. What would you do with a conveyor belt running through the office?
ride it to meetings two cubes away, use it as an easy way to deliver stuff off the breakfast cart, Hop on to go back and forth to and from the rest room because it's easier to hold it rather than walking? Curious minds wish to know more about the inner workings at Paizo. or it could just be me being overly nosey.|
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For those of us not privileged enough to have a job at the inner works of Paizo the question must be asked. What would you do with a conveyor belt running through the office?
ride it to meetings two cubes away, use it as an easy way to deliver stuff off the breakfast cart, Hop on to go back and forth to and from the rest room because it's easier to hold it rather than walking? Curious minds wish to know more about the inner workings at Paizo. or it could just be me being overly nosey.
Actually, what customer service and the warehouse keep trying for is a set of pneumatic tubes (like the drive-thru at the bank) so we can send packing slips down to them without having to go alllllll the way down the stairs.
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Director of Sales
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For those of us not privileged enough to have a job at the inner works of Paizo the question must be asked. What would you do with a conveyor belt running through the office?
ride it to meetings two cubes away, use it as an easy way to deliver stuff off the breakfast cart, Hop on to go back and forth to and from the rest room because it's easier to hold it rather than walking? Curious minds wish to know more about the inner workings at Paizo. or it could just be me being overly nosey.
Easy bomb delivery to Bulmahn's office, natch.
Actually, what customer service and the warehouse keep trying for is a set of pneumatic tubes (like the drive-thru at the bank) so we can send packing slips down to them without having to go alllllll the way down the stairs.
Oh, your suffering is legendary. :P
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I got a good laugh out of this one:
Hello,
I would like to know if you are interested in purchasing the domain name howtodeveloppsychicabilities.com. Based on your contact information I see that you own d20pfsrd.com, correct?howtodeveloppsychicabilities.com can provide an SEO boost in this market, sending new leads and new traffic to your existing site.
If this domain is not of interest, simply reply to this email with your industry category and keywords and I can respond with available domains.
The only spam I ever get is warnings that my credit card is about to be locked, or that I am entitled to refinance my credit card at a lower rate. I don't even have a credit card.
Really? You should get one, and it just so happens that I've got a deal for you...
The only spam I ever get is warnings that my credit card is about to be locked, or that I am entitled to refinance my credit card at a lower rate. I don't even have a credit card.Really? You should get one, and it just so happens that I've got a deal for you...
No thank you, credit cards just get me in trouble.
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Top of the day,
You are welcome to my shrine where all kinds of problem are
solved with Ancient Remedy of our mothers. You have taken the
right choice for consulting me. I don't charge for my spell
services before casting the spell, my spell services is usually
paid after the spell is been cast as i believe in the in my work
and my work always speaks for me. The power of my spell takes
Two days to effect as it is of the ancient powers of our
mothers. You are only required to provide or pay for the items
which needed for the spell which is very important.The potency of my spell is very strong, powerful and last
forever as it is of the ancient power of my ancestors and it is
very fast in action. You are to provide me with the below
information of you and your heart desires so that i can initiate
the spell casting:Your Full Name:
Your Contact Address:
Your Country:
Your Sexual Preference:
Your Age:
Your Partner's Age
Your Phone Number:
Your partner's Full Name:
Your problem:
What you want:As soon as the above information is received from you, the
ancient power of my fathers will be consulted so that they can
tell me about the items required for the spell and i promise you
that your heart desires will be granted. Your response is
required immediately.You can mail me through this email.Regards,
DR. JANET
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Best one I've had in a while:
Hello
How you doing today and how is business???.... Am a hearing impaired person. Am about to leave for my for my breast cancer surgery, as am writing you, and I pray that the lord see me through in Jesus name. So we can best communicate via email for now.. And I hope it's okay with you..I will like you to serve me for my wedding.. So from the below listed items below, please let me know which ONE you will be able to provide me for my Day....
(1) 5 separated tier cake or Cupcakes for 280 people
(2) Muffins (for 250 people)
(3) Pie (50 whole pies)
(4) Bagel (for 250 people)
(5) Pizza (50 whole large pepperoni pizzas)
(6) Sandwiches (for 250 people)
(7) Gift basket ( special gift basket or package for 10 guests at the worth of $100 for each basket)
(8) Honey ( for 250 guests, either 8 or 10 or 12oz size jar honey)
(9) 20 vases of roses, of different colors ( each vases containing a dozen of roses)So please kindly let me know which of the listed items you can provide me, and how much cost estimate am looking at. And I will like the order to be ready for pick up 2pm on the th of AUG 2012.
Once I have your reply, then we shall proceed from there. I will be waiting to hear from you as soon as possible.
Thanks and God bless.
Susan
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Best one I've had in a while:
Hello
How you doing today and how is business???.... Am a hearing impaired person. Am about to leave for my for my breast cancer surgery, as am writing you, and I pray that the lord see me through in Jesus name. So we can best communicate via email for now.. And I hope it's okay with you..I will like you to serve me for my wedding.. So from the below listed items below, please let me know which ONE you will be able to provide me for my Day....
(1) 5 separated tier cake or Cupcakes for 280 people
(2) Muffins (for 250 people)
(3) Pie (50 whole pies)
(4) Bagel (for 250 people)
(5) Pizza (50 whole large pepperoni pizzas)
(6) Sandwiches (for 250 people)
(7) Gift basket ( special gift basket or package for 10 guests at the worth of $100 for each basket)
(8) Honey ( for 250 guests, either 8 or 10 or 12oz size jar honey)
(9) 20 vases of roses, of different colors ( each vases containing a dozen of roses)So please kindly let me know which of the listed items you can provide me, and how much cost estimate am looking at. And I will like the order to be ready for pick up 2pm on the th of AUG 2012.
Once I have your reply, then we shall proceed from there. I will be waiting to hear from you as soon as possible.
Thanks and God bless.
Susan
Soooo ... when exactly is the th of August?
All I get is offers for cheap viagra and *grow 2 inches guaranteed*
I get those, too. Unfortunately, I don't possess the body part they're 'enhancing'.
Subject line "whether this is your correct email address or not"
Dear Friend,
My Name is Mr Paul Amos Simpore , I have been searching for your contact since you left our country some years ago .I do not know whether this is your correct email address or not because I only used your name initials to search for your contact in the internet .In case you are not the person I am supposed to contact,
please see this as a confidential message and do not reveal it to another person but if you are not the intended receiver, do let me know whether you can be of assistance regarding my proposal below because it is top secret.
I am still working with the Bank of Africa where we met during your official visit to my country.I am about to retire from active Bank service to start a new life but I am sceptical to reveal this particular secret to a ranger .You must assure me that everything will be handled confidentially because we are not going to suffer again in life.
It has been 10 years now that most of the greedy Pelican Politicians used our bank to Launder money overseas through the help of their Political advisers. Most of the funds which they transferred out of the shores of Africa was old and oil money that was supposed to have been used to develop the continent. Their Political advisers always inflated the amounts before transfer to foreign accounts so I also used the opportunity to divert part of the funds hence I am aware that there is no official trace of how much was transferred as all the accounts used for such transfers were being closed after transfer,I acted as the wank Officer to most of the politicians and when I discovered that they were using me to succeed in their greedy act,
I also cleaned some of their banking records from the Bank files and no one cared to ask me because the money was too much for them to control. They laundered over $2bn during the process .As I am sending this message to you, I was able to divert more than Fifty Million Dollars ($50m) to an escrow account belonging to no one in the bank. The bank is anxious now to know who is the beneficiary to the funds because they have made a lot of profits with the funds.
It is more than Eight years now and most of the politicians are no longer using our bank to transfer funds overseas. The $50M has been lying waste but I don't want to retire from the bank without transferring the funds to a foreign account to enable me share the proceeds with the receiver. The money will be shared 60% for me and 40% for you.
There is no one coming to ask you about the funds because I secured everything.I only want you to ass is me by providing a viable bank account where the funds can be transferred. You are not to face any difficulties or legal implications as I am going to handle the transfer personally. If you are capable of receiving the funds, do let me know immediately to enable me give you detailed information on what to do.
For me, I have stolen the money from everyone because the other people that took the whole money did not face any problems. This is my chance also to grab my own but you must keep the details of the funds secret to avoid leakages as no one in the bank knows about the funds.
Please supply me the following:
Your current contact address and Telephone Numbers. Whether you will be able to come down again to my country to meet me before the commencement of the transfer shall intimate you on what to do when I get your confirmation and acceptance. If you are capable of being my trusted associate, do declare your consent to me.Yours Faithfully,
Mr Paul Amos Simpore
I have never been to Singapore, incidentally, but those pelican politicians sound nasty.
Ask a Celtic fan.