Overheard at the Paizo office


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Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

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Cosmo: Cosmo SMASH!
Ross: Cosmo, don't smash.

Contributor

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Chris: Gah! Why are you doing this, you stupid importer! *flails at Adobe*

Lantern Lodge

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Erik Mona: We need more <insert monster type> in future products!
James Jacobs: I agree! We have more coming up in Jade Regent.

Former VP of Finance

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Sara Marie: Yes, I *am* evil.

Lantern Lodge

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Megan on the phone: Sure, just one moment and I will transfer you!
...
Megan: Hello Jeff? ... Jeff?
...
Megan: Gah! I have to dial the number to transfer, not just think it!

Lantern Lodge

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And this is why Cosmo is so dangerous:

Cosmo: Asking me one question generally net you the answer to three or more. The actual question you ask may or may not be one of the answers given.

Lantern Lodge

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vic: so what kind of computer do you need for your new person?

gary: nothing less than what Ross's can do, and if its better than mine we're going to need to do some trading...

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

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Bulmahn: Nothing in this thread involves me, so I am no longer interested.

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

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Cosmo: I definitely taste a little ten foot pole.

Liberty's Edge

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Gary Teter wrote:
Cosmo: I definitely taste a little ten foot pole.

Was he licking his mustache? X_x

Liberty's Edge

This thread is Entertaining!


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As I walked in this morning:

Cosmo: I like my coffee like I like my women: covered in BEES!

Today is going to be one of those days I guess :D


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Chris Lambertz wrote:

As I walked in this morning:

Cosmo: I like my coffee like I like my women: covered in BEES!

o_O


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Chris Lambertz wrote:

As I walked in this morning:

Cosmo: I like my coffee like I like my women: covered in BEES!

Today is going to be one of those days I guess :D

At least he didn't use the "In a plastic cup" finish to that one.

Oh, Mr. Izzard, we love you so.

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

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Ross: "Every now and then I wonder: 'Why is it so dark in here?' Then I remember that I can fix that. I am in a building and there is a light switch."


Cosmo wrote:
Ross: "Every now and then I wonder: 'Why is it so dark in here?' Then I remember that I can fix that. I am in a building and there is a light switch."

Exactly my noon today, as we have stormy weather currently.

Dark Archive

this thread is fantastic

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Cosmo: "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."


Paizo staff's favorite ice cream?

Spoiler:
COSMO-politan!

Sovereign Court

3 people marked this as a favorite.
jemstone wrote:
Chris Lambertz wrote:

As I walked in this morning:

Cosmo: I like my coffee like I like my women: covered in BEES!

Today is going to be one of those days I guess :D

At least he didn't use the "In a plastic cup" finish to that one.

Oh, Mr. Izzard, we love you so.

I thought the bad quote was "I like my coffee like I like my women: ground up and in the freezer!"

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Megan's computer: "Hotel California"

...ugh


Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

I really wish I could remember Cosmo's comment about Jason's fake stache at PaizoCon.

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Mark Moreland: "This is the last time I'm coming upstairs. Ever.
Hearing your conversation has made me not want to eat for a year."


Cosmo wrote:

Megan's computer: "Hotel California"

...ugh

"Man, come on, I had a rough night, and I hate The F'king Eagles, man." (NSFW language)

Liberty's Edge

Ross Byers wrote:
Cosmo: "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

Great White Buffalo

Great White Buffalo
great white buffalo


Ross Byers wrote:
Cosmo: "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

Ah, the complexities of the English language...

More, Paizoites, more!

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

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Crystal: "You don't need to draw... you'll be doing graphic design!"

Contributor

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Cosmo: "I want to solve my problems with pugilistic science!!"

...Time passes...

Cosmo: "Cosmo won't smash...this time!!" *evil laughter*


Ross Byers wrote:
Cosmo: "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

Someone was thinking was too hard on that explanation.


Ross Byers wrote:
Cosmo: "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

Wow

Lantern Lodge

10 people marked this as a favorite.

Gary: Sara, your link is broken.
Sara: Who puts a "®" in their web address... grrr...
Gary: K, fixed.
Sara: I was fixing it. I am smart. I can fix things, too!
Gary: Yes, but I am faster like ice cream ninja!

Lantern Lodge

9 people marked this as a favorite.

Cosmo: <being weird/funny>
Sara: Looks like something got knocked loose in there. We just need to smack him in the head again.
Crystal: Here, let the god of thunder do it. POW!
Cosmo: Awwww, now I'm thor.

Lantern Lodge

9 people marked this as a favorite.

Lissa: I'm very familiar with killing things.

Spoiler:
Note: "killing" in this instance is a technical term for what to do when the program quits responding.

Lantern Lodge

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cosmo brings up 3 mini cinnamon rolls, offers one to Sara who shakes head "no". He offers one to Megan who also shakes head "no".

Cosmo: sigh I *suppose* I can jump on this grenade and eat all three.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Cosmo: As the Customer Service department goes quietly...insane!

Sovereign Court

Ross Byers wrote:
Cosmo: As the Customer Service department goes quietly...insane!

Wait ... your Customer Service department is quiet?!?! With Cosmo in the house?!?!!?

I call shenanigans!!!


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zylphryx wrote:
Ross Byers wrote:
Cosmo: As the Customer Service department goes quietly...insane!

Wait ... your Customer Service department is quiet?!?! With Cosmo in the house?!?!!?

I call shenanigans!!!

At will, the mustache as an immediate action generates a 10' sphere of silence centered upon itself. I bet you can't even hear him sneaking up behind you right now.

Lantern Lodge

2 people marked this as a favorite.
zylphryx wrote:
Ross Byers wrote:
Cosmo: As the Customer Service department goes quietly...insane!

Wait ... your Customer Service department is quiet?!?! With Cosmo in the house?!?!!?

I call shenanigans!!!

We're going INSANE quietly; not being quiet in general.

Contributor

37 people marked this as a favorite.

Oh, did we REALLY want to start this folks?

Erhem. A brief reading, from the RECORD:
(The names have not been changed as no one is innocent)

“The pointing adds emphasis to my Truth! Stop laughing at my Truth!”
—Sean K Reynolds, on the value of pointing. 10/1/08

“I believe that she’s done so much hillbilly heroine that her causal connections are poor.”
—Erik Mona, Political Editor. 11/20/08

“I always thought he was ‘gish,’ not swish.”
—Jason Bulmahn on Seltyiel’s sexuality, 8/5/09

Sarah: “What’s that word?”
Sutter: “It’s a fish.”
—Confirming all of our concerns about art directors, 9/23/09

“Isn’t it gauche to wear white after the apocalypse?”
—James Sutter, 11/09/09

“Shut up and keep shaving!”
—Rob McCreary, 04/14/10

James: “Phase Crabs!”
Wes: “You'd need ghost touch shampoo to get rid of those!”
—On spectral itching, 4/29/10

“I’m dwarf curious.”
—Erik Mona, closeted dwarf

“So long as it’s clear that the mu secretions come from the spores and not some other kind of mu.”
—Mark Moreland, obviously not a crazy person, 10/19/10

*Disgusted* “Aggggh. There’s baby on the eraser.”
—Mama Judy, 10/21/10

“Hey, you know how we’ve be planning to start that big band? Wanta go practice in front of Rob’s place?”
“Sure! I’ll bring my fireworks.”
“I’ll play the gun!”
—Wes, James, and Sutter, planning to welcome Rob’s jumpy new puppy to the neighborhood. 2/16/11

Former VP of Finance

3 people marked this as a favorite.
F. Wesley Schneider wrote:

Oh, did we REALLY want to start this folks?

As serious as I can be on this topic: Wes, you need to publish this in a book. Make sure you do it while I'm still alive.

Edit: Also...yes, yes we do. At length.

Contributor

2 people marked this as a favorite.

"If you have arms, you probably need underwear."
—Judy Bauer, 11/18/10

Lantern Lodge

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Sara: Cosmo, can you look at this order? Its trying to do something really weird and you were the last person to look at it.

Cosmo: This is the result of me trying to be clever.

Liberty's Edge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Sara Marie wrote:

Sara: Cosmo, can you look at this order? Its trying to do something really weird and you were the last person to look at it.

Cosmo: This is the result of me trying to be clever.

So THAT'S what happened to my copy of Ultimate Seoni!

Former VP of Finance

6 people marked this as a favorite.

Megan A: You do important things all day.
Megan A: You fight the tax man with a katana when I'm not looking.
Chris Self: No...
Chris Self: I fight the banks in India.
Chris Self: And the scammers in South Africa.
Chris Self: Compared to them, the tax man is my buddy.
Chris Self: He won't shank me in the back. I get to see him coming.

Lantern Lodge

8 people marked this as a favorite.

Gary: posting your own quotes will make you blind

Chris Self: Sara does it all the time =)

Sara: Hmmm.. I do need new glasses.....

Former VP of Finance

10 people marked this as a favorite.

Crystal: That'll get you punched in the junk. Multiple times.
Andrew: Don't punch people in the junk.
Crystal: This'll start a whole campaign of punching people in the junk!

Former VP of Finance

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Judy: So, just to make it more impossible for the players?
Mark: Right!

Sovereign Court

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Chris Self wrote:

Crystal: That'll get you punched in the junk. Multiple times.

Andrew: Don't punch people in the junk.
Crystal: This'll start a whole campaign of punching people in the junk!

Arriving in 2013, the "Roshambo Fury" AP.

Lantern Lodge

59 people marked this as a favorite.

Chris: Sara gets more favorites than I do. /sigh

Scarab Sages

5 people marked this as a favorite.

I will not flag too much.

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