Overheard at the Paizo office

[ciretose]

Cheapy wrote:

Mark Moreland wrote:

Jason: I'm not sure this monster is powerful enough yet.

John: I know just the thing to fix that. If [REDACTED].
Jason: I like it. Run with that. It's sufficiently cruel.

** spoiler omitted **

This may take the place of MORE PYLONS ARE NEEDED!!!

[Professor Farnsworth, Scientist]

Sara Marie wrote:

Crystal: I'm too lazy to open the PDF. So I stood up [to get the book off the shelf]

Robot Chris:I'm too lazy to post that in the overheard thread

Christopher: too lazy to comment on the laziness of others.

Sara Marie: sigh, i guess its up to me

Liz: Jump on that grenade Sara!

Crystal: Jumping sounds like a lot of work for a Monday

Christopher: Flop disinterestedly on that grenade.

Justin: meh, just let the grenade come to you

It might be a light grenade; you should have an intern flop on it first.

[thunderspirit]

Wasn't that a famous charge?

Tennyson wrote:

Theirs not to reason why,

Theirs but to do & die,
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

No, wait...that was the Light Brigade. My bad.

[Sara Marie]

jessica: ...and I want blood

jessica: instead, however, I am braiding rubber bands because that is what civilization is

[Zark]

Erik Keith wrote:

Tels wrote:

Methinks someone from Paizo should seek out some real armor with spikes on it, ask to borrow it, and wear it to work one day.

Spiked armor doesn't offer a bonus to CMD against defenestration, and probably grants Bulmahn a circumstance bonus to his CMB for the maneuver as well. I'm going to have to pass on this one.

What about a monk’s robe with armor spikes? Walk into the weekly Design Team's meeting and wiggle your spikes and shout: Flurry of armor spikes, no? Why can't the monk have nice things!"

Or let Cosmo do it for you.

[Drock11]

Zark wrote:

What about a monk’s robe with armor spikes? Walk into the weekly Design Team's meeting and wiggle your spikes and shout: Flurry of armor spikes, no? Why can't the monk have nice things!"

Or let Cosmo do it for you.

I'm still waiting for Jason to say something about if it's alright to have oversized large spikes on medium sized armor, like characters can wield large weapons two handed.

...and if they can can wield a large oversized weapon two handed while wearing large oversized spikes on their armor.

...and if they can ride a large mount with huge armor spikes while doing so.

...and if they can make full two weapon fighting attacks with a combination of a oversized large two handed weapon and oversized large armor spikes.

...while their mount makes full multi-attacks with their natural attacks and huge armor spikes.

...while having a small character riding the medium sized one that's riding the large one all with oversized armor spikes and they all attack at once.

...while all three have enchantments to shoot those spikes out at people at any time as part of those attacks.

;)

...or baring that if long extended armor spikes could at least provide their enchantment bonus with cooking hot dogs over the campfire.

[Justin Riddler]

Sara Marie: I won't yell, I'll just beat you
Crystal: ....

[Chris Lambertz]

Gary I love Wallace Falls.

Gary It sounds like bacon!

[Set]

Drock11 wrote:

I'm still waiting for Jason to say something about if it's alright to have oversized large spikes on medium sized armor, like characters can wield large weapons two handed.

If you are going to have oversized armor spikes, you might as well go all fractal and mount normal sized armor spikes on the oversized armor spikes, and smaller sized armor spikes on the normal sized armor spikes, so that when you body slam someone they take +1d8 +1d6 +1d4 and leave a gory Mandelbrot pattern on the ground.

[Sara Marie]

liz: flamability is not an accurate indication of taste.

[Justin Riddler]

Jessica: Every time I come back out of the warehouse I bear a new psychological scar.

[Christopher Anthony]

Sara Marie: i have some stuff from when i was pregnant to help with that

[Erik Keith]

Robot Chris: Anyway, this is a bunny with a pancake on its head, this is relevant.
CS Erik: ... Crystal can you make me a picture of an Al'Miraj with a pancake impaled on its horn?
Sara Marie: YES
Jessica: YES THIS

[Gary Teter]

cs erik: I bet we might see a spike in traffic from our loving fans once the site is back up.  You could almost call it an amour spike.

[Readerbreeder]

Justin Riddler wrote:

Jessica: Every time I come back out of the warehouse I bear a new psychological scar.

I thought the scars came from the cave raptors...

[Adam Daigle]

Thunder: rumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumble

[Erik Keith]

Christopher: OKAY!
Christopher: Who ordered the Category 6 Kaiju?
Christopher: Fess up now.
Robot Chris: should I be worried that I'm walking home soon?
Ashley: I can give you a ride home if you want

Intercom goes off, warning everyone to save their work in case the power goes down.

Robot Chris: hrm
Gary: Sara says it's setting off car alarms at home
Robot Chris: dang

[Liz Courts]

Adam Daigle wrote:

Thunder: rumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumble

It's like I'm back in Texas! :D

[Lamontius]

oh I see because it is a noise and you heard it at the office

but I guess it could also have been overhead at the Paizo office

[Tels]

I was born in, and have lived my entire life in Alaska on the Kenai Peninsula (24 years). Just a few days ago, we had the best thunder/lightning storm I can remember in my life. I wonder if you guys are catching the same storm we had?

[Cori Marie]

I find it hilarious that a facebook friend just posted about the super thunder, and I forgot she currently lived in Seattle until I saw this.

[thunderspirit]

Adam Daigle wrote:

Thunder: rumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumble

I didn't say that at all. Daigle is misquoting me!

[Turin the Mad]

Erik Keith wrote:

Christopher: OKAY!

Christopher: Who ordered the Category 6 Kaiju?
Christopher: Fess up now.
Robot Chris: should I be worried that I'm walking home soon?
Ashley: I can give you a ride home if you want

Intercom goes off, warning everyone to save their work in case the power goes down.

Robot Chris: hrm
Gary: Sara says it's setting off car alarms at home
Robot Chris: dang

They make uninterruptable power supplies for this sort of thing I hear ... or a back-up generator. ;)

[Fabius Maximus]

Adam Daigle wrote:

Thunder: rumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumble

For a moment there I thought that was a stampede of warehouse raptors passing by.

[Drejk]

Fabius Maximus wrote:

Adam Daigle wrote:

Thunder: rumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumble

For a moment there I thought that was a stampede of warehouse raptors passing by.

They are smarter than that. You won't hear them unless they want you to hear them (or you have outstanding Perception total).

EDIT: Dammit, that made me stat those warehouse raptors... Regular one has Stealth bonus of +21.

[Drejk]

Question to surviving witnesses... Warehouse raptors are Small or are they Medium?

EDIT: Small ones would have +27 on Stealth checks. That would explain the number of interns missing without trace...

EDIT 2: And I haven't even started stating those new warehouse raptor ninjas.

[Jessica Price]

Paizo cave raptors are not bound by your silly human notions of size.

[John Compton]

Cheapy wrote:

Mark Moreland wrote:

Jason: I'm not sure this monster is powerful enough yet.

John: I know just the thing to fix that. If [REDACTED].
Jason: I like it. Run with that. It's sufficiently cruel.

** spoiler omitted **

Hmmm...adding those to [redacted] would be terrifying given what [redacted] is. I can hear the screams now.

[Lamontius]

Jason all handing out armor spikes and telling the staff to go out on the roof and hold them up high

[Liz Courts]

Jessica Price wrote:

Paizo cave raptors are not bound by your silly human notions of size.

I put a cave raptor in this book—well at least one variation of the warehouse raptors. :D

[Christopher Anthony]

RoboChris: NO! WHAT DID YOU DOOO?!

[Mr. Pilkington, Philosoraptor]

Jessica Price wrote:

Paizo cave raptors are not bound by your silly human notions of size.

Or locked doors. {puffs on pipe}

[Drejk]

Mr. Pilkington, Philosoraptor wrote:

Jessica Price wrote:

Paizo cave raptors are not bound by your silly human notions of size.

Or locked doors. {puffs on pipe}

That explains why, according my reconstruction of warehouse raptor stats, it has Disable Device bonus of +12. And, it's still the base classless raptor, not raptor ninja...

[Cheapy]

See, this is something I've wondered about. It's well known that zombies can't open doors. It's also well known that a raptor can.

So, can a zombie raptor open doors?

[Drejk]

Cheapy wrote:

See, this is something I've wondered about. It's well known that zombies can't open doors. It's also well known that a raptor can.

So, can a zombie raptor open doors?

Raptors are too awesome to become regular zombies, they turn into juju zombies instead without loss of cognitive abilities or physical coordination.

[Justin Riddler]

CS Erik: As if Gen Con wasn't magical enough... painkillers!

[Crystal Frasier]

Lissa: It's like germany and mexico got married and served awesome at the wedding.

[Sara Marie]

ZAP!

...

crystal: Well... that's an exposed wire.

[Lamontius]

Cheapy wrote:

See, this is something I've wondered about. It's well known that zombies can't open doors. It's also well known that a raptor can.

So, can a zombie raptor open doors?

Cheapy's Google Search History?

[Sara Marie]

crystal: You have got to stop speedballing guinea pigs

crystal: I had a burnout roommate in college who got to the point she was injecting gerbils in between her toes

crystal: Ended up ODing on capybara. That South American stuff will f you up.

[Limeylongears]

Sara Marie wrote:

crystal: You have got to stop speedballing guinea pigs

crystal: I had a burnout roommate in college who got to the point she was injecting gerbils in between her toes

crystal: Ended up ODing on capybara. That South American stuff will f you up.

Sings: "There's a hamster in Daddy's arm where all the money goes.."

[Chris Lambertz]

Crystal I'm afraid that anything I say will end up on the internet.

[Justin Riddler]

me: Is [redacted] eating a demon's gallbladder?

CS Erik: Aw man, those things are filled with grape kool-aide. What do you think makes them so demonic?

[Turin the Mad]

Kool-Aid. 'nuff said.

[Readerbreeder]

Crystal Frasier wrote:

Lissa: It's like germany and mexico got married and served awesome at the wedding.

So, bratwurst quesadillas? Probably a bad example...

[Tels]

Readerbreeder wrote:

Crystal Frasier wrote:

Lissa: It's like germany and mexico got married and served awesome at the wedding.

So, bratwurst quesadillas? Probably a bad example...

Sauerkraut Tamales...

Nein?

[Sara Marie]

liz: He'd craft the Teter Addendum to the Evil Overlord Statutes.

christopher: TA1) Before destroying your mentor, be certain that you have actually surpassed him in power and have not just plateaued for a while.

christopher: TA2) All officers in my evil army shall be mandated to use sippy cups to avoid spilling liquids on vital control panels.

[Readerbreeder]

Sara Marie wrote:

liz: He'd craft the Teter Addendum to the Evil Overlord Statutes.

christopher: TA1) Before destroying your mentor, be certain that you have actually surpassed him in power and have not just plateaued for a while.

christopher: TA2) All officers in my evil army shall be mandated to use sippy cups to avoid spilling liquids on vital control panels.

Does this mean the Teter Tot is an (the?)officer in the evil army?

[Set]

Sara Marie wrote:

christopher: TA2) All officers in my evil army shall be mandated to use sippy cups to avoid spilling liquids on vital control panels.

Sounds like someone's been reading up on the Three Mile Island meltdown. :)

[Christopher Anthony]

Crystal: I will use fire from my brain to get you money.
Robot Chris: I don't think that's how it works.
Crystal: Wha- I- No, you get brainfire too!
Robot Chris: There's just holes in this logic.