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Troll Town;


Off-Topic Discussions

201 to 250 of 330 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | next > last >>

I think someone's trying to steal your thunder.


Beautiful South hates the institution of marriage


Burgomeister of Troll Town wrote:

As the duly-appointed representative of Troll Town, I can neither endorse nor deter investment in either of these lucrative-sounding business ventures. Caveat emptor.

However, it is my duty to point out that this Thread isn't cheap and that the Council of Village Elders has voted to pass a .02% sales tax on all transactions in this Thread to fund our members' fat pension fund.

Any attempt to relocate your business elsewhere will met with instant and total nationalization.

Have a nice day.

I would like to state that the .02% sales tax is completely unneccessary for my lucrative business investment. If you deal directly with me, then there will be 0% sales tax. The only money needed would be the initial investment, plus a small "fee" that we will talk about at the initial meeting in a undisclosed location. Don't believe the lies that others wills say. No one has more contacts with the Nigerian Banking system than I do. Do not delay, because this investment will not last long!


Kajehase wrote:
Beautiful South hates the institution of marriage

So does my friend's sister.


ZombieTroll wrote:
I think someone's trying to steal your thunder.

My thunder is free to take!


Leafar the Lost wrote:
Burgomeister of Troll Town wrote:

As the duly-appointed representative of Troll Town, I can neither endorse nor deter investment in either of these lucrative-sounding business ventures. Caveat emptor.

However, it is my duty to point out that this Thread isn't cheap and that the Council of Village Elders has voted to pass a .02% sales tax on all transactions in this Thread to fund our members' fat pension fund.

Any attempt to relocate your business elsewhere will met with instant and total nationalization.

Have a nice day.

I would like to state that the .02% sales tax is completely unneccessary for my lucrative business investment. If you deal directly with me, then there will be 0% sales tax. The only money needed would be the initial investment, plus a small "fee" that we will talk about at the initial meeting in a undisclosed location. Don't believe the lies that others wills say. No one has more contacts with the Nigerian Banking system than I do. Do not delay, because this investment will not last long!

Anklebiters, to me!

Guards, nationalize that wizard!


Ben Franklin still sucks!

Aaron Burr and Thomas Paine in 2012!


Kreayshawn hates the fashion industry.

Kiddies, this video is NSFW due to language, blunts and beats.


Kajehase wrote:
Beautiful South hates the institution of marriage

Hee hee!

I'd never seen this. Who were they?


The Monks hate you.


The Drive By Truckers hate Buford Pusser.


Lord Lucan hates his nanny. Or maybe his wife.


+Pi


I haven't washed my junk in years! There smelling kinda sweet.


To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…
~Hamlet, William Shakespeare


What a piece of work is a goblin! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals!...

And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me....except in my stew pot!

--Doodlebug Anklebiter, Poet Laureate of Galt


Moby Dick loves people!


I hate the moon and the Drive-By Truckers hate NASA!

Despite the fanfilm, this song, like all DBT songs, takes place in Alabama, not Detroit.


If you want to become straight, let yourself be crooked.
If you want to become full, let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn, let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything, give everything up.
~ Lao Tzu (Tao Te Ching, #22)


If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So, from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

"Say, man!"
"Hey, baby!"
"I saw your wife the other day!"
"Yeah..."
"Yeah, and she's ugleeeeee!"
"Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!"
"Yeah, alright..."

--Jimmy Soul, "If You Want To Be Happy"


Arise, ye victims of starvation,
arise, ye wretched of the earth!


+Ωφ,ε = Σp ∈ Ε|p↓ 2-len(p)


I know I'm a little late with this, but Gil-Scott Heron also hates the moon.


I used this before I learned to link, but I'll reuse it because it's brilliant.

Mister Show hates the moon.


True story that may only be funny to me, but I will share with you nevertheless.

There was a Russian socialist named Georgi V. Plekhanov who was known as the "Father of Russian Marxism". He was instrumental in winning over a generation of Russian radicals from peasant-based Narodnikism (no room to go into that here) to worker-based Marxism, and thus, made possible the October Revolution.

His most commonly available book in English is a 1908 250-or so page book called, in the jargon common of the movement at the time, "Fundamental Problems of Marxism."

100ish years later, one of my wiseass friends was looking through my books, picked this one out and said:

Spoiler:
Shouldn't this book be thicker?


Burgomeister of Troll Town wrote:
I know I'm a little late with this, but Gil-Scott Heron also hates the moon.

lol


Trollaid wrote:
Burgomeister of Troll Town wrote:
I know I'm a little late with this, but Gil-Scott Heron also hates the moon.
lol

Isn't that great shot of Capt. Kirk?


More commie jokes! This one was told to me by a former NMU steward who had been a member of the Weathermen before he was won over to Trotskyism. He told me the joke came from the Spanish Civil War, although I'll add some modernizing touches.

So, Lenin dies and goes to Hell. When he gets there, he starts organizing the sinners into Brimstone Shovelers Local 666, initiates general strikes against Satan's heavy-handed political rule and, in general, causes much chaos throughout the nine layers.

Satan gets mad and marches up to the Pealry Gates of Heaven, his mind awhirl in devious plots. When he finally reaches St. Peter, he is greeted warmly.

"Why, hello, Lucifer. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm doing fine, Peter. How are you?"

"Another day in paradise."

"Yeah, well, look I have an administrative problem: I've got this guy, Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov, and I think it's a mistake."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he seems like a real nice guy and I don't see what he's doing in my realm."

"Hmmm. Let me see. 'Zounds, Lucifer, the computer's down, I can't access his file."

"Like I said, I don't think he belongs with me."

"I'll tell you what. I've always liked you and, despite your reputation, you've always been honest with me. Bring this Mr. Ulyanov up."

"Thank you, Peter."

The devil returned to hell, barely able to constrain himself from grinning and giggling.

Lenin gets sent to Heaven, and the devil is all nervous anticipation waiting for him to start causing civil unrest in paradise.

A week goes by, and he doesn't hear anything. Well, Lenin's probably got to organize the angels and that's probably a lengthy task. Another week passes, and still no word. Maybe he's run into internal dissensions. Another week goes by, still nothing.

Finally a month has passed, and the devil still hasn't heard anything, and he treks on up to the Pearly Gates again. St. Peter sees him coming.

"Hello, Lucifer, how's tricks?"

"Can't complain, Peter, how are you?"

"You know, I have to thank you. I'm so glad you brought that oversight regarding Ulyanov to my attention."

"What?" The devil is flummoxed. "What do you mean?"

"Vladimir is a real nice guy, and a witty conversationalist to boot. I'm glad we got him out of the eternal fire."

The devil can't believe what he hears. "Um, so what does God think about all this, Peter?"

"God?" says St. Peter,

Spoiler:
"Don't you know, comrade, there is no God."


The Buzzcocks and Dead or Alive hate the suffering and emotional trauma engendered by a heterosexist world!

The Clash love disco!

Cheliax

Liz Courts wrote:
Please keep posts in this thread civil, thank you!

Trolling the Trolls Liz, subtle. I love it.


Fugazi hates the SCOTUS.


I hate raccoons in my bird-feeder!


More D&D-themed rockin'.

My friends are all sick of this song because they hear it so often on classic rock radio, but I never listen to said radio, so I still love it, the whole album and him (RIP).


Fugazi hates everything about your empty, meaningless corporate existence.


I bet you didn't know that Elvis Presley hated America.


Burgomeister of Troll Town wrote:

Ben Franklin still sucks!

This is no longer true.


Where is Leafar the Loved?

:(


*pulls down pants and rubs ass all over your chair.*


Hey you! Get off my La-Z-Boy!


Mormons are selecting for stupid. With Mormons (and other pro-over-reproduction religions) breeding so much, they're going to out-compete the rational people (older religions and atheists), the higher-class people who are intelligent and have succeeded in life. Sure, some Mormons fit into that category, but as they are Mormon, they are willing to follow a sham religion. Same with poor people: people who don't succeed are very likely to have more children than rich people (especially college graduates).College graduates have got to either stop caring about the environment and their jobs and have a s@@+load of kids or institute a eugenics program.

The program I propose is simple. Those with the most money must have the most children. We can use host parents to do this, but with this tactic we will be able to breed for traits like intelligence, personability, and beauty. And it can't be corrupted like with the <redacted to preserve thread>s because it is simply based on who makes the most money. Of course, there are several ways to determine this: whoever has more money at a certain age than the median income gets to have children, while those who fall below the median don't; if you make more money than 75% of the populace in a given year, then you have a child the next year; a lottery where a certain amount of children will be born the next year, and you get more "tickets" for the amount of money you have.

There would be a lot of problems with this system at first, but eventually they would work out and our species would stop devolving.

Andoran

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
Kirth Gersen wrote:
Is this thread just for me? It even says right in my profile that I'm really a goblin.

My dear greedy Kirth,

This thread is for you but it isn't JUST for you. There's plenty enough trollbait for everyone!

And it's always nice to meet a member of the tribe!

Hey! I'm pretty sure I didn't see you around a couple of years ago! I'm from Varisia. Probably not your tribe.

Edit: I was right! You only came around in 2010. Belated (I was gone) welcome to a fellow goblin!

<picks fight>

Andoran

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Torture is a violation of the paladin's code under any circumstances.

I learned this the hard way when I was trying to coax some information from an ogre my party had defeated and ate his finger.

This was a new concept to me, as torture was quite common in the Anklebiter warrens. Nevertheless, my DM made me go on a quest for atonement.

When I finished my quest of humility, I also won a +2 longsword off a mummy; so it all worked out in the end!

In my games (ones I run and ones I don't), the paladin's code is personal or dictated by their order. I've got a hobgoblin paladin who believes in slavery as a punishment or to keep evil beings in check, but tolerates no lying.

Heathansson wrote:

dingos aren't even canines. They're doglike marsupials.

They're a tiny sort of wombat.
Kinda like a wallaby.

Ah, he knows in the past my true weakness!

Spoiler:
Biology trolling!
The Defiler wrote:
yeah. fatten him up for the wolf.

Not a wolf.

Spoiler:
Explosive poodle runes!!!
Andoran

Probably the most successful troll in the history of mankind.


Mr. Controversy wrote:
Stuff

Sigh.

Spoiler:
I know this is meant in good fun, but please don't get my thread locked. It's probably borderline already, and picking out one religious group for ridicule, even if they are an easy target, is a good way to go over the line.

On the other hand, congratulations. You've out-trolled the Burgomeister of Troll Town! Don't do it again! :)


Gark the Goblin wrote:
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
Kirth Gersen wrote:
Is this thread just for me? It even says right in my profile that I'm really a goblin.

My dear greedy Kirth,

This thread is for you but it isn't JUST for you. There's plenty enough trollbait for everyone!

And it's always nice to meet a member of the tribe!

Hey! I'm pretty sure I didn't see you around a couple of years ago! I'm from Varisia. Probably not your tribe.

Edit: I was right! You only came around in 2010. Belated (I was gone) welcome to a fellow goblin!

<picks fight>

Hey, bro! I'm from Galt. (Red Revolution in the house!)

I looked at your profile page and, although your alignment choices are your own business, I feel there is a certain amount of Uncle Tomming for the pinkskins in your comments. Goblins can be any alignment they want!


So, sometimes I worry about posting about my job here, but I'm pretty reckless (and I think the NLRA protects me even here), so here goes:

Events this week have been very interesting on my shopfloor. After vigorously defending a member from some overbearing douchebag of a boss, I was hauled into the office with the district manager who paid me all sorts of compliments, such as: "You're poisonous," "You're unbalanced," "Because of your political motivations, you aren't worth speaking to" (so, why are we in the office for half an hour?) and, my favorite, "Some stewards make an effort to see both sides, but your whole attitude is 'Whatever. I don't care.'" Hee hee!

Later, I was talking to my immediate supervisor and he said "I get along with you fine on a personal level, but I hate the fact that you're a union-loving socialist." Hee hee hee!

So in celebration of all this, I am levelling myself up to Paladin 7/Teamster Steward 3! I finally made 10th level!


Frank Sobotka hates the bipartisan war on organized labor.

EDIT: Fixed the link--g#&#~*n "l"s and "I"s!

Andoran

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
Mr. Controversy wrote:
Stuff

Sigh.

** spoiler omitted **

PAIZO STAFF READ THIS! (Also, Doodlebug read this too.) I deleted it at first, but after reading the thread it looked okay. I'm fine with someone deleting it, if it proves too incendiary or if you think it should be removed.


Gark,

Spoiler:
I hope it's clear that my comments were motivated only by a sense of thread self-preservation. Given free reign, I'd make Samnell look like a mealy-mouthed Unitarian.

Andoran

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Gark,

** spoiler omitted **

Should I be fair to all religions? Offending everyone is sometimes safer than offending no one. (Except I'm not so sure how to offend some of them. My own, for example.)

Edit: Oh s!*~! I lied. Any religion (or areligion) can be offended, if you're good enough. I'm just not sure of my skills.

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