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Or, If You Have Nothing Nice to Say, Come Sit Next to Me!
I'm not a troll; I'm a goblin. But I like trolls. They make me laugh. Hee hee!
However, for reasons I don't comprehend, not everyone feels the same way.
So, in the interest of relieving stress for our non-troll-loving Paizonian brethren, I suggest we trollaphiliacs take it here where we can't hurt anybody. Except ourselves.
Seems like a win-win situation for everyone.
Here, I'll get the ball rolling:
People who spend all Friday night and Saturday morning trolling the Off-Topic Discussion forums are losers who need to get out more. EDIT: Not that I'm trying to dodge the tag of loser, but here is why I spend most of the springtime indoors.
Also, Jim Jones was the socialist messiah.
So when's the buffet get here?
So when's the buffet get here?
Ah oui oui, zee rezervayshun for zee Donnor Partee. I hope zu've brought yhor appotyghts, oui?
Open for business!
Hmm. It's pretty lonely in here. Everybody's over at the Ron Paul thread and annoying the Fawlties when they SHOULD be here in Troll Town.
Hmm, let's see if I can find something controversial...
Hee hee!
This is always good for a laugh!
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Open for business!
Hmm. It's pretty lonely in here. Everybody's over at the Ron Paul thread and annoying the Fawlties when they SHOULD be here in Troll Town.
Hmm, let's see if I can find something controversial...
Hee hee!
This is always good for a laugh!
Ironically, Fawlties sit on both sides of pretty much ANY discussion. We just believe that it's okay to disagree and still respect one another. A rare thing to find on the internet at times.
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Here, I'm sure this can help the party...
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines....
We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are so confused by the Bill of Rights that they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (lastly....) NOW..
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!
Ironically, Fawlties sit on both sides of pretty much ANY discussion. We just believe that it's okay to disagree and still respect one another. A rare thing to find on the internet at times.Open for business!
Hmm. It's pretty lonely in here. Everybody's over at the Ron Paul thread and annoying the Fawlties when they SHOULD be here in Troll Town.
Hmm, let's see if I can find something controversial...
Hee hee!
This is always good for a laugh!
Yes, the trolling begins!
No, no, I kid. I understand that LPM, but here in Troll Town they don't have to respect each other and NOBODY GETS HURT!
Here, I'm sure this can help the party...
** spoiler omitted **...
Constitution.......TLDNR
Here, I'm sure this can help the party...
** spoiler omitted **...
[Whistles lowly] No baby steps for you, huh?
One man's troll is another man's freedom fighter.
Hey, if you're gonna be a bear, be a GRIZZLY. ;)[Whistles lowly] No baby steps for you, huh?Here, I'm sure this can help the party...
** spoiler omitted **...
Well, if that's how you want it...:)
I'm right. You suck. Unless you happen to agree that I'm right. Then you're awesome and intelligent.
This has been a paid announcement from the people stuck in houses on rainy mornings.
Neil Young hates America.
All of you scare me.
I need my paizo parents to come and save me. Please help me Obi-wan.
I'm flagging you all.
All of you scare me.I need my paizo parent's to come and save me. Please help me Obi-wan.
I'm flagging you all.
You don't use an apostrophe for the plural form of a noun. What are you, 7?
You don't use no apostrophe for the plural form of a noun. What are you, 7?
All of you scare me.I need my paizo parent's to come and save me. Please help me Obi-wan.
I'm flagging you all.
Help me Mommy, I'm being attacked. I'm flagging you.
-----
You know my original post is still there. I to can intentionally change Quotes: You do not use double negatives. What are you, lower-class?
What are you, lower-class?
I'm a goblin and a Teamster. What do you think?
Eat the rich!
Some famous trolls of yesteryear.
Neil Young hates America.
Stevie Wonder, too.
One man's troll is another man's freedom fighter.
+1
How many Teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I stole this from another thread.
'Cuz I'm a rogue.
In Norman Mailer's defense,...
I've seen trolls with waaaaaaaaaay more self importance and waaaaaaaaaaaaay less warrantedness.
This phenomenon even predates last Thursday.
What happened last Thursday?
I can't believe I missed it!
As Allen Ginsberg shows here there's more than one way to troll.
What happened last Thursday?
I can't believe I missed it!
Nothing really. It's just the dividing line between "historic" and "prehistoric."
Nothing really. It's just the dividing line between "historic" and "prehistoric."What happened last Thursday?
I can't believe I missed it!
Fool!
There is no "pre"-history. As conclusively proven by Dr. Douglas Adams, our Galactic Overlords planted dinosaur skeletons in the earth's antediluvial (note: I have no idea what that word means) deposits to trick people ignoramuses like yourself.
It means "before" last Thursday.
anti=before
and
deluvial=french or greek for Thursday.
Nothing really. It's just the dividing line between "historic" and "prehistoric."What happened last Thursday?
I can't believe I missed it!
Fool!
There is no "pre"-history. As conclusively proven by Dr. Douglas Adams, our Galactic Overlords planted dinosaur skeletons in the earth's antediluvial (note: I have no idea what that word means) deposits to trick people ignoramuses like yourself.
And you probably think you're smart like Norman Mailer. See, he "writes" books. You just "read" them.
You're like Rommel's limo driver......Rommel tells you to tell some guy to go get him a martini and of a sudden you think you're a Vice Commander with important responsibilities.
So you want to be trolled? Fair enough. An old trick, that is nowadays more funny than annoying:
Guess what you just lost?
I hate Elmo!
You're like Rommel's limo driver......Rommel tells you to tell some guy to go get him a martini and of a sudden you think you're a Vice Commander with important responsibilities.
I ain't no Nazi chauffeur!
You don't use no apostrophe for the plural form of a noun. What are you, 7?
All of you scare me.I need my paizo parent's to come and save me. Please help me Obi-wan.
I'm flagging you all.
Help me Mommy, I'm being attacked. I'm flagging you.
-----
You know my original post is still there. I to can intentionally change Quotes: You do not use double negatives. What are you, lower-class?
Tenny? Is that you?
Be very very quiet, we're hunting Trolls.
If there's one thing we won't tolerate here in Troll Town it's racism!
Go peddle your anti-troll wares someplace else!
Oscar the Grouch was a groundbreaking pioneer in mainstream troll acceptance.
Lucky Troll feet for sale, $10 dollars. (Just keep them out of sunlight.)
I ain't no Nazi chauffeur!You're like Rommel's limo driver......Rommel tells you to tell some guy to go get him a martini and of a sudden you think you're a Vice Commander with important responsibilities.
You mad, brah?
Lucky Troll feet for sale, $10 dollars. (Just keep them out of sunlight.)
[Admiral Ackbar]It's a trap![/Admiral Ackbar]
They regenerate!
[Yawns]
Who will watch over Troll Town while I sleep?
[Yawns]
Who will watch over Troll Town while I sleep?
Jesus.
Zombie Jesus? But then, I repeat myself.
Wow. That'd suck to go to hell AND bomb on the internet. Of course, I don't know what either one is like.....
Zombie Jesus is a car thief.