Corrupt the Wish

[Sissyl]

Certainly. You now have a rewired reward pattern in your brain, causing you to quit every bad habit, and spend your entire life exercising, eating organic veggies and fifty vitamin pills three times à day. You are unable to ignore the latest health discoveries in every newspaper, and you would certainly not take risks like sex, driving, or using mobile phones...

I wish for a demiplane of my own.

[Magnu123]

Too easy

Granted. You have a demi-plane. and it fits your description exactly. However, you are level 1 and casting this spell delivers you 3 10 foot cubes. You are additionally unable to leave this demiplane after you enter it. Enjoy your new 30X10 foot world.

I wish for there to be no mosquitoes.

[the David]

Granted, there are no mosquitoes on Sissyl's demiplane.

I wish I had a hot boyfriend.

[zylphryx]

the David wrote:

Granted, there are no mosquitoes on Sissyl's demiplane.

I wish I had a hot boyfriend.

Granted. Your boyfriend is now on fire.

I wish Elmer Fudd would catch the wascally wabbit.

[Sissyl]

Granted. Elmer is shot dead py the FBI kidnapping squad.

I wish Lord of Light was actually made into à decent movie.

[SunsetPsychosis]

Granted. Lord of Light has been recast and the script rewritten. It is now titled 'Die Hard'.

I wish for phenomenal cosmic powers.

[Charles Scholz]

Granted. You are now the god of flatulance.

I wish I had eaten something healthy for breakfast.

[gran rey de los mono]

Done! For breakfast you devoured a perfectly healthy person.

I wish I had some bacon.

[Nodnarb]

GRANTED! You now have some of Kevin Bacon (leg and arm)

I wish Wal-Mart customers weren't so stupid.

[tocath]

Nodnarb wrote:

GRANTED! You now have some of Kevin Bacon (leg and arm)

I wish Wal-Mart customers weren't so stupid.

Granted. Only hyper intelligent aliens now shop at Wal-Mart. They buy cheap probes (made in China) in bulk and are able to abduct your relatives more frequently.

I wish I had a dollar for every FAWTL related post on this messageboard.

[gran rey de los mono]

Congratulations! You now have $1 for each FAWTL related post. As a result, you now have this problem.

I wish I had a better job.

[Charles Scholz]

Your wish is granted. Your new job lets you work less for triple the amount of money. Unfortunately, your boss is working a Ponzie scheme and named you as head of that division.

I wish it was the weekend already.

[zylphryx]

Wish granted. It is now the weekend. Specifically, it is 1159pm Sunday night.

I wish I always knew what would happen 10 hours in the future.

[tocath]

zylphryx wrote:

Wish granted. It is now the weekend. Specifically, it is 1159pm Sunday night.

I wish I always knew what would happen 10 hours in the future.

You now know how you are going to die. It isn't pretty.

I wish our sun would go supernova.

[gran rey de los mono]

Done. The sun has gone supernova, but all the energy was contained in a force field and redirected back to form a new sun that is exactly identical to the old one.

I wish I didn't have to make a wish.

[Twin Dragons]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Done. The sun has gone supernova, but all the energy was contained in a force field and redirected back to form a new sun that is exactly identical to the old one.

I wish I didn't have to make a wish.

Granted. I'm allowed to use the wish in your stead.

I wish that I had my own personal Erik Mona.

[zylphryx]

Twin Dragons wrote:

I wish that I had my own personal Erik Mona.

Granted. Your personal Erik Mona is from a corrupt and twisted alternate universe. He publishes absolute tripe, forces you to use only his material and, worst of all, spells his name with a 'C'.

I wish taking 5 dogs to vet did not cost close to $900.

[Twin Dragons]

zylphryx wrote:

I wish taking 5 dogs to vet did not cost close to $900.

Granted. The vet takes one of your arms and one of your legs as payment instead.

I wish that the next wishers wish comes true without it becoming corrupted.

[zylphryx]

Twin Dragons wrote:

I wish that the next wishers wish comes true without it becoming corrupted.

Granted. The next wisher's wish does not become corrupted. Unfortunately, the wisher wishes for something truly mundane and simple.

I wish I had some coffee.

[gran rey de los mono]

zylphryx wrote:

Granted. The next wisher's wish does not become corrupted. Unfortunately, the wisher wishes for something truly mundane and simple.

I wish I had some coffee.

You have some coffee. Of course, because it is coffee, it is disgusting.

I wish this Thundercat reboot was more interesting.

[Gwenn Reece]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

You have some coffee. Of course, because it is coffee, it is disgusting.

I wish this Thundercat reboot was more interesting.

Granted. The Thundercat reboot now features real thunder and lightning which electrocutes you.

I wish I had a copy of the new PFRPG Tome of Horrors.

[zylphryx]

Gregg Reece wrote:

I wish I had a copy of the new PFRPG Tome of Horrors.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, every even page is printed in some unintelligible language and every odd page is blank. The maps look like a kindergartener's art project.

I wish it would cool off; enough with the 90+ degree weather.

[gran rey de los mono]

Your wish is granted. For the next month, the high temperature will only be 89 degrees.

I wish I had an awesome avatar.

[Twin Dragons]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I wish I had an awesome avatar.

Granted. But James Jacobs avatar swiftly eats it.

I wish I had 2 pence to rub together.

[zylphryx]

Twin Dragons wrote:

I wish I had 2 pence to rub together.

Granted, but you know this is not that kind of forum and I really think it falls outside of the "acceptable practices" of ... Ohhh, you said "2 pence". Oops. Boy are you in for a surprise the next time you have to pee.

I wish it was Friday already.

[Charles Scholz]

Sorry, that wish was already used. Please try again later.

I wish for a pet.

[gran rey de los mono]

*Rubs Charles Scholz's head and scratches behind his ears*
There you go, you've had a pet.

I wish my food would be ready faster.

[zylphryx]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I wish my food would be ready faster.

Granted. Unfortunately, the increased speed also affects the food at the molecular level so as you take the first bite, it spoils.

I still wish it was Friday already.

[Twin Dragons]

zylphryx wrote:

I still wish it was Friday already.

Sorry, that wish was already used. Please try again later.

I wish to be a scruffy looking nerf herder.

[gran rey de los mono]

Twin Dragons wrote:

I wish to be a scruffy looking nerf herder.

Ok, you are now like the employee I saw last time I was at Toys-R-Us. Mid 20s, long scraggly hair, pitiful attempt at growing a goatee, and picking up all the NERF footballs, basketballs, and assorted other NERF products that had been thrown all over the place.

I wish I hadn't forgotten to bring a snack to work tonight.

[zylphryx]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I wish I hadn't forgotten to bring a snack to work tonight.

Granted. Unfortunately it is some of the rapidly cooked food from earlier and by the time you reach for it, it has decomposed to some near sentient ooze.

I wish I could to talk to an operator at wish central because I STILL wish it was Friday already. Seriously, there can't just be one of each wish, can there? And if that is that case, I wish all wishes were reset so we can avoid that annoying prerecorded message.

And I STILL wish it was Friday

[Schism]

"This is the operator. Thank you for calling. All our customer service representatives are currently helping other customers. Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line and you will be helped by the first available representative. Your current wait time is 1,085,875 hours. This has been a recording."

[Gruumash .]

Your wish is granted on the whole Friday thing.

Only you have been transported to a different dimension where Friday is actually what we consider Monday and vice versa.

I wish I was a Golden God.

[zylphryx]

Gruumash . wrote:

I wish I was a Golden God.

Granted. You are now a solid gold statue of Zeus. You are also ten inches tall. And locked in a vault own by some crazy billionaire. When he gets tired of looking at the you, he will melt you down and turn you into a golden frog.

I wish it was Monday.

[gran rey de los mono]

zylphryx wrote:

I wish it was Monday.

Ok, but now you are back in this reality, so Monday is the start of the work week.

I wish my brother would have better luck with his car.

[Weaponbreaker]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

zylphryx wrote:

I wish it was Monday.

Ok, but now you are back in this reality, so Monday is the start of the work week.

I wish my brother would have better luck with his car.

Your brother comes to visit, crashes his car into your house killing you and collecting on the life insurance he took out on you with the windfalls gained from his lucky car.

I wish I were healthy, fit and well endowed.

[gran rey de los mono]

Weaponbreaker wrote:

Your brother comes to visit, crashes his car into your house killing you and collecting on the life insurance he took out on you with the windfalls gained from his lucky car.

That is seriously f'd up, man. Not cool.

[zylphryx]

Weaponbreaker wrote:

I wish I were healthy, fit and well endowed.

Granted. You were healthy, fit and well endowed, but were unfortunately hit by a car before it plowed into an aforementioned house.

I wish I could step in and out of Time at will in order to get more done.

[gran rey de los mono]

Okey-dokey zylphryx. You are now able to step in and out of a garden full of thyme whenever you want to. How exactly this helps you get more done, I don't know.

I wish I was ambidextrous.

[Talonhawke]

Granted your arms have fallen off and your have identical control over both nubs.

I wish for something to fix this damn heartburn.

[gran rey de los mono]

zylphryx wrote:

I still wish it was Friday already.

Hey look, zylphryx, your wish came true!

Talonhawke wrote:

I wish for something to fix this damn heartburn.

Ok, I have fixed it so you will no longer have those annoying interruptions between bouts of heartburn. Its now all burn, all the time!

I wish my car got better gas mileage.

[Weaponbreaker]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

zylphryx wrote:

I still wish it was Friday already.

Hey look, zylphryx, your wish came true!

Talonhawke wrote:

I wish for something to fix this damn heartburn.

Ok, I have fixed it so you will no longer have those annoying interruptions between bouts of heartburn. Its now all burn, all the time!

I wish my car got better gas mileage.

Granted! Your car is now operated on a 25cc engine that gets about 100MPG, at a top speed of 1MPH at its current weight.

I wish I knew, what I could've known, had I known, what I needed to know.

[Talonhawke]

Granted! Now you know more than you should and the Old Ones are pissed.

I wish Everyone a happy birthday and a very merry unbirthday as the case may be.

[zylphryx]

Talonhawke wrote:

I wish Everyone a happy birthday and a very merry unbirthday as the case may be.

Granted. Oh, and I borrowed your credit cards, check book and ATM code to buy presents for all of us. We really appreciate it.

I wish it was 530pm already. ;)

what can I say, I'm ready for the weekend

[Charles Scholz]

Your wish is granted. It is now 5:30. Just not where you are at.

I wish for an incoruptable wish.

[zylphryx]

Charles Scholz wrote:

Your wish is granted. It is now 5:30. Just not where you are at.

I wish for an incoruptable wish.

Granted. You have just granted the most twisted and corrupt individual on the planet a wish which cannot be corrupted due to the thoroughly corrupt nature of that individual's wish. We're all doomed. Thanks.

I wish for cooler weather.

[Midgard Serpent]

Your wish is granted. You now live in Northern Siberia.

I wish my brother was here.

[zylphryx]

Midgard Serpent wrote:

I wish my brother was here.

Granted. You and your brother switch places. He is where you were and you are where he was.

I wish IE wasn't so craptacular.

[joshua gaines]

zylphryx wrote:

I wish IE wasn't so craptacular.

Your wish is granted. IE is now perfect in everyway, Sadly due to the time and effort that was invested into making IE perfect a single license is now 10K a year and all companies have switched back to Netscape as thier offical web browser.

I wish I could spend more time with my Girlfriend.

[Weaponbreaker]

joshua gaines wrote:

zylphryx wrote:

I wish IE wasn't so craptacular.

Your wish is granted. IE is now perfect in everyway, Sadly due to the time and effort that was invested into making IE perfect a single license is now 10K a year and all companies have switched back to Netscape as thier offical web browser.

I wish I could spend more time with my Girlfriend.

Granted! You are now a tumor growing somewhere in you girlfriends body!

I wish I had a fast convertible, an open road and the sun at my back!