Corrupt the Wish

[Hubris]

Granted. It expands right into the water. Congratulations, you've lost all your work.

I wish to be the dashing man in the hat, and to have all of his wishes come true, but for me instead:
wish list
(Mostly the last one)

[DJ-Bogie]

You become John Steed. Odd hat, those bowlers.

I wish I could get more accomplished.

[Charlie Bell]

Your wish is granted! 16 hour work days for you!

I wish I had about a dozen vaccuum sealed bags of no kidding Kona coffee.

[Haladir]

Granted! You have a dozen empty vacuum-sealed bags that are stamped "No Kidding! Kona Coffee!"

I wish I had a nice cup of hot tea.

[Charles Scholz]

You had a nice cup of hot tea; it was delicious.

I wish I was at the Olympics.

[The Vicious Chicken of Bristol]

You are currently in London being confused for the Olympic mascot. People keep wanting to take pictures of you in compromising positions.

I wish Women's Gymnastics didn't seem like some perverse lolicon.

[Marthian]

They remove Women's Olympics entirely. Due to this, people figure out you wished for this, and proceed to try and cook you, being a chicken and all. Some people are messed up.

I wish there was a better source for news.

[DJ-Bogie]

There is, just ask me what happened.

I wish I knew what happened.

[Midnight_Angel]

Granted. However, the universal truth of what has happened is too much for your brain to handle, so you break down, babbling inciherently.

I wish my colleagues were less insane.

[Tirq]

Your colleagues are less insane and decide it would be a responsible thing to do if they you to a mental hospital.

I wish the gaming store I'm going to today plays Pathfinder.

[DJ-Bogie]

They do but it is by invitation only, you never knew.

I wish I had fresh blueberries for breakfast,,,,Oh wait, I do. Bye.

[Tirq]

Bye DJ, have a nice day.

I wish he would have a nice day.

[Charlie Bell]

Your wish is granted! Dj-Bogie has a great day. Yours, on the other hand....

I wish I had all the answers.

[Marthian]

You have all the answers... To the math test I did four months ago.

I wish my home campaign didn't end so soon.

[Tirq]

And it doesn't. It lasts for another 50 years. There are a few Zombies at the table, but don't give it no mind.

I wish my Online campaign goes well... Goofy characters of mine rarely are as funny as I think they are.

[Charlie Bell]

Your online campaign goes, well, Goofy. Gooby pls.

I wish Bioware would port its Mass Effect iOS apps to Android.

[DJ-Bogie]

They will in 5.3 years when no one cares anymore.

I wish insurance companies were easier to deal with.

[Tirq]

YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!!!!!

They'll make you a deal you can't refuse.

I wish my minis were painted as good as I think they are.

[DJ-Bogie]

They are.

I wish I could finish painting all the minis I have lying around.

[Tirq]

You'd think you could see it, you being a giant eye and whatnot, but they are painted. They're in greyscale. They're mostly in reds and greens and sometimes a light brown, but they are painted.

I wish my room would get clean.

[El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas]

A flood comes through your room and washes everything away, including the dust.

I wish I didn't play Talisman for 5 hours instead of sleeping.

[Tirq]

Instead, you were lucky enough to play LOTR: The Board Game!

I wish that my washer and dryer would sing to me.

[Marthian]

They are able to sing for you-Once. Apparently, the singing was a sign of failure, and so they are broke now.

I wish I had some snickerdoodles.

[Tirq]

Wish Granted

I wish I was back in the Last one to post wins thread, losing.

[DJ-Bogie]

You are losing.

I wish I could get my act together.

[Charlie Bell]

Your wish is granted! Your circus act is replete with performers.

I wish I could shoot lightning from my fingers like the Emperor in Return of the Jedi.

[Tirq]

You're replacing Jimmy the Stage Prop Tree in the Conan the Musical thread. You're one of the silver statues.

I wish my camera would let me take pictures of my minis better.

[Lord Twig]

Your wish is granted! You are now 28mm tall with your camera to scale.

I wish I could play games for a living.

[Tirq]

After you die, you can come back only to play games.

I wish I could find my dry erase markers.

[DJ-Bogie]

You find them, they are all dried out though.

I wish it wasn't so late.

[Tirq]

Its not too late, but its a bit early. Don't ask questions, you're just simply dead, Dan.

I wish my Warmachine characters wouldn't die so quickly.

[Lord Snow]

Granted, your playing group will no longer play Warmachine. your character would live forever!

I wish "A Game of Thrones" had a budget of a billion dollars per year

[Hama]

Wish granted, however, the entire cast dies in a freak accident caused by ridiculously expensive sets and props. So many people die that even George Martin is at a loss for words.

I wish to have super strength

[Tirq]

You are so strong, you can lift 5 times a 1/5 of your natural weight!

I wish my lunch will taste good.

[Charlie Bell]

Your lunch tastes delicious! You're an anteater digging into a big old hill of fire ants.

I wish I didn't have to do what I have to do tomorrow.

[DJ-Bogie]

You don't have to, your boss did it for you, and She's not happy about it!

I wish for a better tomorrow.

[Marthian]

Tomorrow is THE BEST day EVER! PERIOD! Everyone becomes rich and/or happy! We get to play Pathfinder WHENEVER!
Sad thing is, this is tomorrow, and as soon as it's tomorrow, it will no longer be tomorrow, but today. What this means is it will never be the best day ever :( It's stuck on tomorrow.

I wish I had red dragon wings so I could fly to places. (without the Red Dragon chaotic Evil, of course.)

[gran rey de los surround sound]

Ok, you have functional red dragon wings. But they are sized for an elder wyrm dragon so you really can't fit indoors. Also, they are awkward as hell.

(By the way, your corruption reminded me of an episode of Farscape. Good show.)

I wish I was home so I could watch Farscape.

[Lord Snow]

Granted, here is a teleportation device to get you home to watch farscape whenever you like. the U.S secret service might be a little pissed off that you took their favourit tou though, so better watch your back for those assesenation attmepts!

Spoiler:

to be fair, they might also come from the front... or from above you... or beyond you... might actualy be poisend food or acid coming out of your shower instead of water... come to think of it, don't bother watching your back, your doomes anyway :D

I wish to get a good grade at my huge test this sunday!

[Hama]

You get a good grade, but your teacher fails every other classmate of yours. And it's your fault.

I wish to loose some weight...

[gran rey de los stereo]

Ok, your weight is now loose. Very, very loose.

I wish I could have more nachos without having to get up and make them.

[Astral Wanderer]

You get a nachos version of Midas' touch. Good luck.

I wish all good things in life were free.

[El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas]

All good things in life are free, but the government decides to start taxing them to offset the ever-growing deficit. Time to stock up on canned air, until we can invade Planet Druidia.

I wish that the next wishers wish could benefit mankind.

[Azure_Zero]

nice, Spaceballs reference

[Tirq]

Wish granted! I am a kind man, and it will benefit me.

I wish I could get more money so that I may spend it on Pathfinder and other goods so that I may play Pathfinder.

[DJ-Bogie]

You find a nickel. Keep it up and one day you can buy some cool Pathfinder stuff.

I wish I could figure out how to do my taxes.

[xanthemann]

Granted! You are incarcerated for tax fraud long enough to figure out what you have done wrong.

I wish for a Dr. Pepper.

[Tirq]

*Rolls up sleves* All right, KAZAM! WISH GRANTED!
This is Jonathan Pepper, with a PhD. in law and he has informed me you have been a naughty boy.

Apparently, that means I can sue you.

I wish my court order with xanthemann goes well for me.

[El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas]

You sue xanthemann for all he's worth. You retire well on the $0.43 you gain after paying your lawyers.

I wish I knew of some good songs to listen to.

[DJ-Bogie]

Wish granted, you know of the greatest recordings of all time, and can't find them anywhere.

I wish I had more songs that I like on my new phone.