Your wish is granted! John Wayne and Jesus can play all the poker they want in heaven.
I wish I had a complete collection of the Star Wars Saga Edition hardcovers.
Your wish is granted! Wotc and George Lucas now have all of your money.
I wish it wasn't an election year.
Granted, however it is now the year were everyone gets taxed up the ass
I wish that I had not spilled OJ on my laptop.
Granted it wasn't OJ it was cheap red wine.
I wish I could fix my daughter's broken laptop.
Its fixed just like my cat.
I wish I was a swordsmaster.
Granted! You are now an anachronism and people throw tomatoes at you.
I wish I could write my novel at a faster pace.
Granted! You finish it in a week... and your editor says that it's so bad it looks like you wrote it in a week.
I wish it was Friday already.
Granted! You time travel to Friday, and are promptly fired for missing work Tuesday-Thursday. The police would also like to have a few words regarding the missing persons search placed on you.
I wish Diet Dr Pepper really tasted more like Dr Pepper.
Granted! Now Dr. Pepper tastes like Diet Dr. Pepper.
I wish i could have a nap.
Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Granted. Your boss walks in on you and gives you the rest of your life off.
I wish for a new pet.
Granted. You found him on a street corning wearing only a trench coat.
I wish I didn't have to get up so early tomorrow.
Granted, your alarm clock is broken, sleep as long as you want. Who cares about schedules.
I wish I could finish rearranging my office.
Granted. Here's your coffie. Sorry there's an I in it.
I wish I had another beer.
Granted. Here's a Pabst Blue Ribbon (NSFW).
I wish I could afford to hire someone to clean my apartment.
Granted. Now that your apartment is sold at an executive auction, you do have the money to have it cleaned. Only just.
I wish people would do as I tell them.
Granted! People do as you tell them and ,in a fit of anger, you tell them that you want to kill your boss after a bad day at work. They comply with your wishes, are arrested and pin the whole thing on you.
I wish that my college education was actually worth something.
Oh it is. Sallie Mae made a business out of it.
I wish I didn't have to go running.
Granted! You wake up without your legs.
I Wish i could have more time
Granted! Your closet is now full of broken clocks.
I wish that people who find Honey Boo Boo hilarious would be incinerated.
Starfinder Superscriber
Granted, but you're accused of hate crimes and genocide. Therefore, you are sentenced to die via lethal injection.
I wish that I had more money and less work.
Granted! You're wanted in 37 states for a string of bank robberies.
I wish I knew of some decent black metal music. Burzum isn't cutting it anymore.
Starfinder Superscriber
Granted, but the music is all from kids banging cast iron frying pans.
I wish I could build the cool D&D Inn room that one of my gamers pointed out to me.
Granted, but you end up with a bunch of LARPers who want to use it constantly sitting on your lawn.
I wish I didn't impulse buy games from GoG so often (I just bought Urban Chaos).
Your wish is granted! A solar flare kills the Internet permanently.
I wish for $3,000,000.00.
Granted! 3 million $1 coins suddenly appear ten feet above your head, crushing you to death.
I wish the vending machine in my office took $1 coins.
It now takes $1 CANADIAN coins. (On a unrelated note, my school vending machine had SO MANY $1 coins.)
I wish I could fast forward to my home games, Society Events, and also the launch of Borderlands 2 and Torchlight 2.
Granted. You set your DVR, slip on a banana peel, whack your head and go into a coma, when you wake up in 6 years you can watch them right away.
I wish I had a DVR.
You have a Deadly Virus: Rabies.
I wish I was a brilliant genetic engineer in addition to all my extant talents.
You create the perfect human, who decides that you are now obsolete and has you incinerated, he is now looking at the rest of us.
I wish he wasn't looking at me.
Starfinder Superscriber
Granted, he's now lost his eyes, but is still tracking you by smell.
I wish my night club would reopen so I could physically DJ again.
It does reopen. As a cowboy bar. You now have to manually put a Dime in the Jukebox again and again.
I wish it wasn't raining today.
Granted! Welcome to Mars
I wish i could eat popcorn without feeling ill afterwards
Granted! Now you always feel ill, except for after you eat popcorn.
I wish I could get these blood stains out of the rug.
Your wish is granted! The bleach gets out the blood stains, but leaves bleach spots. #thatwaseasy
Speaking of rug stains, I wish my cats would stop barfing all over the place.
Granted they only barf on your pillow now.
I wish I had something other to do than grant the wishes of others all day.
Granted, you can play Pathfinder all day.
I wish I could get what I want today.
Granted! But now you can't get what you want tomorrow.
I wish I could always get what I want.
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Granted. But now you've ruined a great Rolling Stones song.
I wish I lived closer to Chicago, so I didn't have to drive so far this weekend.
Your wish is granted! You live in a Chicago slum and have to deal with muggings and drive-by shootings.
I wish my coworker's annoying rap song ringtone would stop.
Your wish is granted! His annoying rap song ringtone stops but the song is now #1 on the Billboard charts and is played on every radio station ever.
I wish my coffee would kick in.
Your wish is granted! The coffee kicks in instantly -- in your lower gastrointestinal tract.
I wish Charlie Chaplin was still alive.
Granted! Charlie Chaplin is alive, but is now 123 years old and dies shortly after the granting of your wish because of complications resulting from his age and deteriorating health.
I wish the coffee in my lower gastrointestinal tract would stop bothering me as bad as it is.
Your wish is granted! The coffee in my lower gastrointestinal tract is now bothering me... wait, NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo.........
I wish for lunch.
Done! My lunch is now here!
I wish for Charlie's lunch.
Your wish is granted! You eat at your desk from now on.
I wish I could leave the office for lunch.
Granted! You are fired
I wish a nice pizza to share with my coworkers
Granted! Your coworkers share it among themselves before you get a single slice.
I wish I had a better lunch today than a leftover baked potato and coleslaw.
Granted. You have an 8 oz. sirloin steak on a bed of fried onions, steak fries and a caesar salad. You have indigestion afterwards.
I wish Red Lobster had better quality food.
Granted. They get better quality food but triple the price because of it.
I wish my son would stop banging his head on the wall for 'self-soothing'.
Granted! He decides that he'd rather bang *your* head against the wall for 'you-soothing'.
I wish the Royals were a better baseball team.
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