Granted, a cult group of history professors published a paper that proves the people int he Middle Ages thought the world was a cube. Everyone accepts this as the truth because it was posted on the internet.
I wish spammers would just stop.
Granted! You pass right by the room where the fitness test was supposed to take place, get lost, and wander around the building for an hour. The soonest they can reschedule in in three months.
I wish the presentation I gave at work this morning had gone better.
Son, you did not specify HOW MUCH better you want it to go, have you not been reading these posts? 1% duh.
I wish I wasn't such a jackass.
you become a donkey.
I wish that I could teleport at will.
Prince William is Ticked Off that you keep teleporting on top of him.
I wish I could Teleport without Error, whenever and wherever I choose.
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Granted! At first, there doesn't seem to be any drawback. But then, when you look in the mirror, you realize that you're played by Hayden Christensen.
I wish my brother's wedding would go perfectly, despite his total lack of planning.
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16
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Granted! You are now a dung beetle, the strongest creature proportionally than any other.
I wish I had a kitten to pet at work.
Granted!
Your brain and spirit is stronger, at the expense of your body which is now weaker than a baby.
I wish for world peace.
Azure and Chocobo, your wishes are simultaneously granted!
Everyone in the world now has a kitten at their workplace, and are far too distracted watching adorable kitty antics to fight... or do anything productive at all! The world economy screeches to a halt as everyone stops what they're doing to play with the adorable little kittens.
I wish my pet kitten would stop jumping on the kitchen counters.
Granted! People start making up their own minds and society collapses. Who knew?
I wish I could get people together for a Pathfinder game tonight.
Granted! Now there's only politicians.
I wish I could buy an awesome house on sale in my neighborhood.
edit - damnit, ninja'd. I wish I never got ninja'd.
Granted! The person who just bought an awesome house on sale in your neighborhood is found murdered mysteriously, allowing you to buy it. When the crime scene investigators track you down (since you were obviously interested in that house), they find mysterious ninja gear in your mysterious gym bag. You are mysteriously arrested, but you can't prove your innocence when you mysteriously claim "the ninjas did it". You later find out while serving your mysterious 15 year prison sentence, that it wasn't the ninjas, but the mysterious housing committee.
I wish cannon fodder wasn't so mysterious.
Granted!
cannon fodder noun. 1: Soldiers, especially infantrymen, who run the greatest risk of being killed or wounded in warfare 2: [figuratively] Something put at risk to further a goal without regard to its well-being.
I wish I could take a nap right now.
Granted! You fall asleep at the computer, accidentally pulling up '2 girls and a cup' and your co-workers label you a 'sicko'.
I wish the world was a safer place.
All the cars in the world are suddenly made out of Nerf.
I wish I owned Castle Nerf.
Granted! You watch Justin Bieber videos until you feel like killing everyone.
I wish that I could get over my Gangnam Style addiction.
After cleaning out your bank accounts you can buy 13 of them.
I wish I could cast Heal.
Granted! You go to Home Depot and get the materials for a plaster cast of the word "Heal" that you drew in the dirt with a stick in your backyard.
I wish my work was more fulfilling.
Realizing you feel much better, you jump for joy, slip and break your leg.
I wish My secretary wasn't sick, (now I wonder if she knows Tirq?)
Granted! Your secretary is found to be immune to all diseases and the CDC recruits her to help create better longer lasting vaccines, so she quits without notice due to the importance.
I wish my kids will have amazing wonderful lives.
(Evil post ahead, no hard feelings)
Granted! They have amazingly wonderful short lives, leaving you and your partner alone in a cold dark world where everything collapses around you.
I wish my bills were less than my paycheck.
Granted. you find the pirate booty... post mortem. sorry about that.
I wish I knew.
Granted, anything under +3 mithril full plate is now considered worthless at 4th level.
I wish for brain bleach to undo my last wish.
Granted! While going in for a routine treatment, your doctor inexplicably injects household bleach into you brain. You are rushed into emergency neurosurgery to undo the damage, and while they are able to keep you alive, you're left in a permanent vegetative state.
I wish I didn't have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.
Granted! Your syllabus writes itself... in crayon, with all the spelling, grammar and competence of me in my vegetable state.
I wish were a normal person again... no, scratch that, I wish I were a geek again.
Granted! You are both a scratched out normal and a geek, but there is infighting and you die in a flurry of pocket protectors and Monday Night Football arguments.
I wish the next person would not corrupt my wish for a longer nose.
Granted. I will not corrupt your wish for a longer nose. unfortunately for you, your wish didn't actually include wishing for a longer nose, merely that I would not corrupt said wish.
on the bright side, when you make your next wish for a longer nose I'll not corrupt it.
I wish I wasn't dead. It's not fun anymore.
Granted, you are alive, but you find out that that's not fun anymore either.
I wish I knew what made that strange noise outside tonight. ( I think it was a fisher cat )
Granted: It's a old crazy guy fishing for cats.
I wish that the Australian government and the governments of the United States of America and the UK would clean up their acts, purge the corruption, and start working for the good of the people.
Nah that wasn't mean, I thought it was cute. of course, I'm twisted.
I wish I could untwist.
Granted. You throw out your optic nerve and go blind.
I wish it was November 7th already.