Granted: your garden is full of man eating plants that poop zombies.
I wish I was a shapechanger.
Ninja'd again. You shaped changed into a Ninja
I wish I had posted faster
@Tirq: DJ-Bogie posts until he no longer makes sense to anyone but you. You now know the dread secrets of the world and welcome the Great Old Ones with open arms.
@The Elusive Trout: You have a garden...with gnomes. Pirate gnomes.
I wish the Dragon of Agnor would show up so we could catch up on old times.
EDIT: Blasted ninjas. You smell dead ninjas in your router, DJ-Bogie. That's what it is...
Granted: the Dragon of Angor shows up. Unfortunately, "catch up on old times" for him means he let you live so you could fill his belly more. He eats you.
I wish for a magic watch.
Crap, my connection is slow enough as it is!
I wish I had quit while I was ahead.
Since you cast Ressurection, instead of Resurrection, they stay dead.
I wish that "Everybody's a ninja day" would end.
@Dj-Bogie: You quit when you were a head, but people thought that was creepier than just being an eye.
Congratulations! Bogie, you quit developing in the womb after your cranium.
Consequently, we aren't having this conversation.
Ninja got her minions, but they decided she wasn't worth turning and simply ate her like Shabu Shabu.
I wish I had more feminine charm.
Granted: you are duplicated into a 100 tiny versions of you. feminine charm x 1000, but no one can really see you.
I wish I worked for Paizo...
You now have 5000 fire ants that turn into tiny ninjas
I wish I could stop.
Double Ninja'd,,,, I'm gone
Granted, you work for Paizo, moderating the Forum Games by preventing ninjas. For free.
I wish that I felt better.
You feel better, but only because you drank the last potion of cure light wounds whilst still in the middle of a dungeon. Your party hates you now.
I wish I could fix my roof.
You hear a pin drop and your ears start bleeding.
I wish my PbP character would stop rolling horribly on perception checks.
Your ears swell to political proportions. The caricatures are both unkind and unceasing.
I wish I could find a practical use for logarithms.
You watch MLP:FiM to get yourself tuckered out and dream of Twilight Sparkle and Rarity frolicking in Ponyville...to the fine audio of Stormtroopers of Death. With machine guns...yeah...
I wish my wishes were more corrupt.
Edit: *Glares at Ninjaotic*
You weren't being ignored; you've had the Tabby Ninja all along. However, since ninja + cat = uber sneaky, you never see it.
I wish I would just go to bed.
You actually are already in bed, and this is all happening inside of your head... creepy that you have such a fractured mind with alternating personalities...
I wish I had a dinosaur egg.
You just made a dinosaur egg sandwich! You are seen on EVERY channel around the world. You are then beaten to death by a group of Dinosaur Rights Activists.
I wish I could fly like superman.
You get better at ninja'ing people so much that they all quit the site out of annoyance. You are alone.
I wish I could eliminate athlete's foot from planet earth without the aid of the modern pharmaceutical industry.
Granted - you go down in history as the most loathed serial killer known to man, having eliminated the Earth's population of athlete's foot sufferers.
"Tiyan" joins the list of "things you don't name your kid," right alongside "Adolf," "Benedict," and "Judas."
I wish for world peas.
Daron Woodson
Abandoned Arts
Granted, you get Peas the size of the world, which crush you and cause severe damage to the planet and causes planetary changes.
I wish for nothing bad to happen to anyone or anything.
I give you two choices:
- Nothing happens. Which is a crying shame because there was some guys in the hospital, and they really needed some medical attention. However, since nothing happened, they have passed away. Gone to meet it's maker.
- Time Stops.
I wish someone had a way to deal with that Duck that has Regeneration like the Tarrasque, and sadly cannot be banished :(
Granted! You cast Interplanetary Teleport on Duck With A Gaze Attack, sending him to Uranus. Unfortunately, it uses its gaze attack to bring you along for the ride. Hope you can breathe methane and ammonia.
I wish I was Captain America.
Granted you become Captain America, and are trapped in a static demi-dimension where time does not move with the Red-Skull.
I wish That the world does not end on Dec 21st 2012, but Dec 31st 2012.
Congratulations! The world lasts ten additional days, but only because the form of human extinction is slow and painful. Many people watch in horror as their least important organs decay inside, and their toes rot off. True story.
I wish I had an umbrella (and some rain to go with it).
Granted: you have a large iron umbrella, with a point so large it becomes a lightning rod. Just your luck, you get struck by lightning.
I wish for a magic hat.
Taco Bell proceeds to taste better, but a lawsuit later reveals that they changed their recipes to include human meat, and your parents went missing recently.
I wish I could stay hydrated in this heatwave.
Granted you sweat so much you're practically a puddle
I wish all the good wishes hadn't been taken.
Shazoom! No good wishes have been taken. They are all sitting on the pile labelled 'ignore'.
I wish that work will go quickly tonight.
Granted: you spend the night trolling the Paizo Messageboards. Suddenly you realise you didn't do anything you were suppose to do tonight. Whops
I wish Chuck Norris had let the dinosaurs live
Granted. Your nose falls off.
I wish to be free of my coffee/caffiene dependency, without simply replacing it with a new dependency.
You manage to ween off of coffee and caffeine, but after many years of bliss, you splurge JUST ONCE and get a heart attack from it.
I wish bugs would find me less delicious.
Granted! You are much better at Magic: The Gathering. People revile you and your infamous red and black deck. No one is willing to play a match against you anymore. Then two months from now, WotC introduces a bunch of new mechanics and build types that invalidate your old decks and you are horrible at the game again.
I wish that there was a decent superhero RPG that didn't use such a crunchy system.
Granted! You release Super-Heroic Storytelling!, a super-hero game with no game mechanics at all. You get sued by the producers of The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen for stealing their game mechanics.
I wish I hadn't wasted all of my prep time for this weekend's game on playing forum games on the Paizo messageboards.