Corrupt the Wish


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Dark Archive

Granted it is blotted out for 1/100th of a nanosecond
I wish that it wasn't so hot


Granted, a gigantic 1 week blizzard rushes over where you live.
Your house is covered entirely.

I wish Argentina didn't make that undeserved goal.

Sczarni

Granted but every other is forced to forfeit and thus awarding every title from here on out to Argentina.

I wish I did not have to deal with this ever fourth summer.

The Exchange

Granted you now have to deal with it every summer

I wish that people would call soccer soccer

Sczarni

Granted. Now everything is called soccer.

I wish soccer would never be referred to as football again.


Granted (i completely agree btw), instead those who called it football now call it "kick the ball across a field into the guarded square".

I wish Disney would keep Star Wars action packed, not cute-ify it to a mushymushy story.

Dark Archive

Granted, but all other movies are cutified and mushy mushy

I wish that people would recognize that Soccer is really called football (mutter mutter grumble grumble)

The Exchange

granted everyone knows that soccer is really called football but decides to continue calling it soccer.

I wish for the most fluffy pillow ever made

Sczarni

Granted but as soon as you touch it, it explodes as releases several succubi who want to cuddle with you in order to make you suffer

We wish for death by drow cuddle time.

Dark Archive

Granted, you are dead, and gone forever. Goodbye!
I wish that everyone else in North America would start calling what we currently call soccer football and call the sport they call football something more fitting. Without the rest of the changing.

Sczarni

Granted but your football (soccer) is called football but is banned for all of eternity. Our football is changed to REAL FOOTBALL and is now celebrated across the universe as everyone's new favorite sport and is celebrated not only across the universe but on several planes of existence as well.

We wish for this to happen now.


Granted! Things get kind of messy when the first Queh-Queh team starts playing. They are six-dimensional creatures. Merely looking at them is enough to make a human brain wither and die. Congratulations, since everyone is watching, you just killed off the human species.

I wish American Football would be called Weakling Rugby.

Silver Crusade

Granted! However, non-Weakling Rugby suddenly loses popularity as a sport leaving Weakling Rugby the only kind of Rugby (or Football) left on the planet.

I wish that I could find the wherewithal to stop procrastinating and get back to my research.

Dark Archive

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted, but first you take all the poser sports (football aka weakling rugby That's what it is too :P, Cricket 'cause baseball is so much more awesome, and golf) and destroy them making way for the real sports

I wish that would happen now


1 person marked this as a favorite.

BOOM-shaka-laka, it's been done, everything has made way for chess, volleyball & horse jumping.

Just for the cricket, i know of a fun story concerning that "weakling rugby

Spoiler:

I've worked 3 summers in entertainment and had spoken with this certain british, irish even maybe, the guy was apparently a rugby player.
He and his team went abroad to the USA one time on vacation, where they met an USA football team. The americans challenged the rubgy squad to a game.

On USA style, it was a close loss for the UK, whom followed by "loose this junk", challenged the americans to a "good old rugby" match.

Ownage by the brits, the americans were complaining it was too rough. ^^
Booyah!!

I wish the matches and clubs wouldn't end up fixed.

Sczarni

Granted but everything else is. You are now told what to work, who to marry, where you live, what you drive, and how to spend your little income among other things. You can vote but the same people always get elected or reelected.

We wish to be at the top of this new government


Granted! You are the figurehead they keep imprisoned between the public speeches they need.

I wish to be the wealthiest in the world, and yet not noted as such.

Dark Archive

Granted, no one thinks you are wealthy as we don't use conch shells as currency anymore.
I wish that the fake rapper Drake would die and never speak again


Granted! You are found guilty of his murder and sentenced to be executed via listening to his albums on repeat until you will yourself to death.

I wish I had a competent psychiatrist.

Dark Archive

Granted, you have my executioner

I wish nicki minaj would shut up for good

Sczarni

Granted but you are locked in a closet with her for eternity so you two can cuddle and make out. And although she is not speaking, you are able to hear her thoughts as if she was speaking and singing.

We wish to have video showing exactly when Cr500cricket snaps and looses it.

Dark Archive

Granted, you see that I shape shift into all of you and kill her, you are all arrested for first degree murder and are sentenced to the Guillotine.

I wish I could be there to witness the execution


Granted!
You are next in line after UDS for the Guillotine.

I wish for a ham sandwich.


You made ma laugh there FuelDrop, good one.

Granted, save for the fact the bacon is still an intire pig, resulting in 2 slices of bread with a pig between them.

The next poster made a cameo as a crusader defending the city in Wrath of the Righteous.


Yup, I'm still here...

I wish TFF would realize his cross thread error


I do, it was late last night, unfortunately i don't care since accidents happen.

I wish i could watch a preview of paizocon on my tv.


Granted! Unfortunately, a pig with two slices of bread stuck to it has gone to sleep in front of your TV and refuses to move.

I wish that the next poster's wish would be granted to the spirit and letter of their wish, provided they corrupt this wish sufficiently that it is twisted beyond recognition.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, however the wisher will be unable to wish, in spirit, letter or any other form of communication, that is understandable by any being in existance, real or otherwise. This includes but not limited to, ancient wishing methods (upon a star, blowing out birthday candles, etc), conversing unintentially with wish-granting beings (be it angel, devil, demon, geni or god etc), or even casting the spell themselves (be it through knowledge or item).
That is until, 2 seconds before the end of all time, when they'll be able wish as per the spell, with the added component, their soul (which will be used to power the lowest level of the abyss, and their torment).

I . . . I . . supposted do something, just don't know what.
Can someone take my place?

Sczarni

Okay

You wish you could spend your life with the ulfen death squad.

Granted but we will be here all life long.

We wish to be the subject of loving admiration by drow and succubi.


Granted. They show their love and admiration by locking you in a special room, where they never allow you to interact with anyone else. Not even them.

I wish for a jar of candy.


Granted, Willy Wonka gives you a jar full of candy that didn't make it past safety regulations. As such, you will experience agonizing pains, hallucinations, internal issues and lots of nasty stuff.

I wish spinach actually DID make your muscular like a trained athlete.

Sczarni

Granted but this jar of candy has an aura of death with saves so impossibly high that there is no way you avoid the death trap.

We wish for death by succubi cuddle and "other" actions

Dark Archive

Granted, you are all dead forever without any chance of coming back to life or undeath at all ever.

I wish UDS would stop being obsessed over Succubi in all forum games


Sure enough your wish came true, however UDS is now obsessed with incubi instead.

I wish cricket's CR was reduced to 1/10


Granted! But he is now immune to any attack you can make and constantly buzzes in your ear.

I wish to be an intelligent vampire who is not in sunlight that can still digest food so I can be immune to poisons and death effects and eat my candy.

Dark Archive

Granted, you're constantly in running water and it will kill you in three rounds, good luck!

I wish I was CR 500 again


Granted!
Your new CR comes from stacking template after template, and now your celestial half-celestial part is at war with your fiendish half-fiend part, while your half-dragon part laughs and your vampiric and lich parts duke it out.

I wish that my mini-gun that launches nukes had a range greater then its blast radius.

The Exchange

granted but due to its 99% misfire/ malfunction rate it leaves you and those who foolishly stood by you little more than irradiated ash

I wish that I could rule this city.


Granted. But since FuelDrop tested his weapon in this city, you now rule over irradiated ash.

I wish someone who is not me, related to me, or a friend of mine would clean up the irradiated ash.


Granted!
Your worst enemy is given the job and, due to radiation exposure, turns into the Hulk. Who still hates you.

I wish I was alive again.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. Only problem is that not...ahem...everything came back.

I wish I could make sense of the grapple rules.

The Exchange

granted you are now reincarnated as a cricket that thru multiple CR stacking has made it into a CR 500 monstrosity that is at internal war with itself

granted! you learned the grapple rules first hand by the repeated sparring matches with the whole UFC lineup , WWE, and finally enduring 10,000 punches from a young mike Tyson. unfortunately it has left you in a comatose state.

I wish lucky 7 would stop ninjaing me


Granted.
*Bans countchocular*
I didn't even need to use magic.

I wish everything came back.

Sczarni

Granted but everything is instantly destroyed by incubbi, what ever they are.

We wish we knew what incubbi are.


Granted! They're male succubi. And you know because you just became one.

I wish FuelDrop was given more ammunition for his gun...

Liberty's Edge

Granted.

My dad's buddies in the Coast Guard wrote:
This is my rifle *point downward* this is my gun. This is for shooting. *point downward* this is for fun.

I wish I could make all of my wishes come true...


Granted! It only cost you your voice, a fantastic trade. All you have to do is say "I wish X" and X will happen.

I wish for some cotton candy.


Granted, but it's actually an alien confection where actual cotton is a treat.

I wish I was James Jacobs.

Sczarni

Granted and here are the war rents for your arrest for you are James Jacobs the criminal.

We wish for death.

The Exchange

granted but you are resurrected as one of my chocolate minions

I wish *countchocular* was unbanned he really didn't do anything that bad FuelDrop

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