Granted, but you get haunted by the ghost for the rest of your existence.
I wish they'd hurry the (bleep) up with the anti-aging technology.
Granted, but the new technology causes incurable cancer.
I wish I had the power to teleport.
Granted. Now all you need to do is build a complete, perfect, updated mental image of every subatomic particle in your body.
I wish for another horde of smelly otyughs.
Granted. Your tears are the size of grapefruit.
I wish I had rogue talents.
Granted! You get Prone Shooter, original version.
I wish I had a ki pool.
Granted! You now get Skill Focus (Craft (Basketweaving)).
I wish bathing in my mayonnaise pool was good for my skin.
Granted, but the spell only functions on soccer fields and people accuse you of exploiting them for your own benefit.
You get some lovely hatemail.
I wish I could get this piece of salami out of between my teeth.
Granted, but they take up all of your closet space, countertops, and any other storage areas you have, and you'll have to rent a storage bin.
I wish bathing in chocolate was good for my skin.
It becomes so. Unfortunately, you skin becomes so stimulated that it gains its own consciousness which bleeds into yours and takes over, apologetic as the skin is for having to erase your personality.
I wish I could walk outside without fear of other humans.
Granted. The mutants ate them!
I wish tomorrow would get here already.
You skip ahead in time, but the earth has moved on without you.
I wish cable companies weren't monopolies.
Granted! The corporate execs die horribly and new private enterprise takes its place. Unfortunately, you no longer have the disposable income to purchase their services because this wish stole it.
I wish it would rain.
It does. It never stops.
I wish there were more hours in the day.
Granted, but since you now live in an entirely different solar system, you have no access to nifty sites like Paizo, so it's kind of a moot point.
I wish I could find that (bleep) email.
Granted! You are given a surprisingly large inheritance that you can actually live off. The problem is that it is horribly unclear on the details, and your aunt is also mentioned, and you just got a letter describing that she's contesting it "no matter WHAT it costs her, forever!!!"
I wish international politics was actually a field where you could look to how most people act and feel proud that you are a human too.
Granted, but it not what you expected.
I wish for a trip around the world that does not include war-torn areas.
May you rest in peace.
I wish for a nap.
Granted! You realize that you feel awake and refreshed. You then look around and discover that you've slept through the last 10 million years, and that cockroaches are now the dominant life form on the planet.
I wish that other people would stop thinking they know what is best for me.
They do. Unfortunately, one of them ended up being right and you end up being a crazy bag lady, whether or not you were a lady to begin with.
I wish I could have come up with a better corruption for that last wish.
They do. Unfortunately, one of them ended up being right and you end up being a crazy bag lady, whether or not you were a lady to begin with.
I wish I could have come up with a better corruption for that last wish.
Okay. I become invisible, inaudible, and that other word I can't remember. Intangible, that's it. Nobody even knows I'm around. How's that?
I wish that stupid raccoon and her three beastly little begats would stay off of my back porch.
Granted, they are now in your attic.
Edit: I wish I would have rembered to make a wish and not have come back and edited it.
Granted, you now only play duo.
I wish the bug in Paizo Messageboard threads would clear up.
Sorry, no corruption I wish that too.
I wish I never had a broken heart again.
Yeah, you were able to give them to me in the after life ;-)
I wish it was a lot of fun in the afterlife!
The answer is "nahh.. maybe..."
I wish for a pony
Granted. You are now equipped with superpowers and a fancy costume to go with them. EVERYBODY comes to you with their problems and expects you to solve them for free.
I wish I could get motivated to exercise.
Granted. Get off your butt and start running on that treadmill, or Bleached Otyugh gets to eat you.
I wish Bleached Otyugh would smell a little less.
Message me, I warn you, I'll complain back.
I wish I was more self-confident.
Granted, but it now takes an entire fleet of aircraft carriers to transport your ego.
I wish I could paint what I see in my dreams.
