Corrupt the Wish

[DJ-Bogie]

Granted, hope it works.

I second his wish.

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

Samurai second.......

I wish I had a dollar for every time somebody asked me if these jeans made their butt look big.

[DJ-Bogie]

Granted you are a stripper.

I wish I didn't have a mental image of that.

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

chandalier falls on your head. that part of the brain no work no more.

I wish Jennifer Connelly was sitting on my lap.

[DJ-Bogie]

Granted, but you didn't specify which J.C. Do I really have to explain how that is going to go?

I wish I could finish the map I'm working on.

[Magnu123]

Granted. Did you mean, Jennifer Connelly the 87 Year old incontinent from the nursing home down the street?

I wish my internet connection worked faster.

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

Granted. Helsinki is the capital.

I wish I had 4.3 billion dollars.

[DJ-Bogie]

You've been Ninja'd!! DANG!!!!!! I got Ninja'd

The cash is in quarters and is falling on your head as we speak.

I wish for good weather.

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

Magnu123 wrote:

Granted. Did you mean, Jennifer Connelly the 87 Year old incontinent from the nursing home down the street?

somebody smell baby powder and egg yolks?

damn she's fine.

[Tirq]

Wish granted!

Weather is now Chaotic Good. It's like America's Funniest Home Videos, but in Climate Format. It finds your suffering funny.

I wish for a wish to wish the wishy washy wishes from the wish list.

[Charlie Bell]

Your wish is granted! But the genie's hard of hearing, and you get a witch to watch the witchy watching witches from the witch list.

I wish I could game tonight instead of going to a work-related function on a Friday night.

[Black Powder Chocobo]

Granted! But the game is go fish against a psychic.

I wish the Wii U didn't sound like the noises Ling makes in Kung Pow.

[Alitan]

Your wish is granted... it now makes noise like a Garth Brooks concert.

I wish I didn't sweat.

[Striker2054]

Granted. You die from heat stroke because your body can't self cool.

I wish my job was less stressful.

[Trinite]

Granted. You job is now being done by a robot, which is immune to stress. But not by you anymore.

[Trinite]

Aah, I forgot to make a wish!

I wish that I had not forgotten to make a wish.

[The Mad Badger]

Wish granted you remembered that you t6hat you failed to make a wish.

I wish I could turn into a great white shark at will and back again but still retain my intelligence while in shark form.

[Striker2054]

Granted. You get attacked by a pod of Orcas that don't care which form you're in and only see you as chow.

I wish I wasn't so damn tired.

[The Mad Badger]

Wish granted you are now dead so you will never be tired again

I wish I was an Orc god. Wait I already am.

[Tirq]

Later that thread!

I wish I could be the guy from the commercials.

[Striker2054]

You got it. You are now the guy arrested in the Drunk driving commercials.

I wish I was a little bit taller.

[Tirq]

Whopashizawowoo! Platform shoes!

I wish I knew the rules for corrupting a corrupted wish.

[dbass]

Granted. But your mind cant handle the implications and your mind explodes. In the after life the gods can't decide whether to send you to heaven, hell, purgatory, nirvana, or any of the other eternal realms, and instead they send you back down to earth to start a new life as an accountant, where you are unable to "corrupt" anything the rest of your number balancing life.

I wish that I had a hair cut.

[Tirq]

Bald is a hair cut.

I wish I had more miniatures.

[DJ-Bogie]

Your hands, feet and head shrink to 1 tenth normal size.

I wish I had time to paint my miniatures.

[Charlie Bell]

[been painting minis all day today]

Your wish is granted! You're three years old again. You have all day long to do as you please, but nobody lets you play with brushes, paint, small metal objects, and craftyknives.

I wish my next Paizo shipment would hurry up and get here.

[Tirq]

GRANTED!!!

When you ordered Carrion Crown 3: Broken Moon, you actually ordered a piece of the Broken Moon, as seen in earlier posts.

I wish I could beat Valkyrie Profile: Covenant of the Plume.

[Signore di Fortuna]

Hooray! You're arrested for domestic battery and sentenced to 10-15 years in prison since poor little Valkyrie was only 12.

I wish I knew what to do.

[DJ-Bogie]

Now you know, but it is to late.

I wish for Bacon!

[Tirq]

Granted!
I can't give it to you, since it appeared where I am. So you got your wish for bacon, but I got the bacon.

I wish I knew of a number between 1 and 10.

[dbass]

Granted. You now know the EXACT number for π (that's pie). Unable to hold back your excitement at being more accurate than the world's most precise computers, you begin to jot down the EXACT number on your computer with the intent to share it to the world. Unfortunately you never complete the task, as the number is ∞ (infinite) and you die PRECISELY π days later slumped over your computer, having forgotten to eat pie to sustain yourself.

I wish my computer didn't suck so I could play Diablo 3.

[Tirq]

Granted!

Your computer no longer sucks. It now blows.

I wish I could watch tv like a normal person.

[Marthian]

Tirq wrote:

Your computer no longer sucks. It now blows.

harhar, my computer sucks AND blows (intake and exhaust, super awesome gaming computer... I lied, but hey, it's still good.

---
Granted, you watch those stupid shows like Jersey Shore because apparently normal people STILL watch it if it's still airing.

I wish I could get a job... and one that doesn't ruin my physical health or mental health. Also one that pays at least minimum wage ($7.25 here)

[Trinite]

Granted! You become the CEO of a cigarette company: a job that ruins your moral health.

I wish it had rained more here today.

[Tirq]

It floods and you can't play your favorite game. Hopefully, its Pathfinder.

I wish I had a cheeseburger.

[Signore di Fortuna]

Granted. It's from White Castle and it's old.

I wish I had a better bed.

[Endrian]

Granted. Your bed is now a better haven for Cockroaches. At least the new one now comes with a built in massage feature.

I wish I had a block of chocolate.

[Tirq]

You got it, one unrefined block of cacao bean, coming right up!

I wish I could watch Youtube in private.

[Marthian]

Suddenly, Youtube becomes the worst website ever. Even seeing the logo makes MOST people sick and as such will leave you alone when you watch it. Subsequently, everyone removes their accounts.

Trinite wrote:

Granted! You become the CEO of a cigarette company: a job that ruins your moral health.

I wish I knew what I was thinking when I asked for a job like that... (well on one hand, I'm pretty darn rich. On the other hand, I would be the scourge of most of humanity.)

[DJ-Bogie]

Granted, you are confined to solitary and given an Ipad with a direct link to YouTube, BUT the battery runs out in 24 seconds, no one can hear you scream.

I wish I hadn't been ninja'd.

[Marthian]

Your post is deleted. You never were ninja'd to begin with.

I rewish my previous wish.

[Tirq]

GRANTED!!!!!!!!!1!!

You remember thinking "Hey, wouldn't it be funny to post something on this here Corrupt the Wish thread?"

I wish I had more time for Pathfinder.

[dbass]

Granted: Your girlfriend dumps you.

I wish I had a better car.

[DJ-Bogie]

Granted, it is Groundhog Day. You play the same Pathfinder game over and over for eternity. Doesn't matter how good it is, it is the same game over and over.

DANG, Ninja'd again, second time in 10 minutes.

Granted, you have a Ferrari. The taxes and maintenance fees are more than you make in a year.

I wish I hadn't deleted that project I worked on for days.

[Ninjaotic]

Hmm Hmm.

You now hadn't deleted that project that you worked on days ago. You then realized why you deleted it and thus, deleted it again.

I wish I could understand dem-there She-Ninjas, also known as Kunoichi.

<And yes, DJ. I have been the cause for the Ninja'ds.>

[Signore di Fortuna]

Granted, you now understand that a kunai to the head means "no".

I wish I could give away all this Skippy Peanut Butter...

[Charlie Bell]

Your wish is granted! You give away all your Skippy Peanut Butter. However, the recipient has peanut allergies, eats the peanut butter, gets deathly ill, and sues you because you didn't properly warn him that peanut butter may contain peanuts.

I wish to write the great American epic.

[DJ-Bogie]

You write what could be the most phenomenal work of literature of all time, and then accidentally delete all copies of it. (like I just did with the map I am making for a contest that ends Friday)

I wish I could recover my map in the condition it was in right before I deleted it.

[Signore di Fortuna]

Granted. You travel back in time seconds before you delete the map, but you make eye contact with your past self (who is about to delete the map). The space-time continuum can't handle your accidental meeting, so your present self with the map in proper condition is erased and your past self deletes the map anyway. Then your past self has deja vu until it catches up with the normal flow of time.

I wish I had a better knowledge of sci-fi physics before corrupting a wish in the manner I just did.

[Charlie Bell]

Your wish is granted! You are a Starfleet officer. You have a great knowledge of dilithium crystals, strange space entities, temporal physics, ansibles, runcibles, and other sci-fi poppycock. You're proudly wearing your red uniform on your first away team mission when...

I wish I could get maps from the APs printed to 1" = 5' scale, in color, for free.