Corrupt the Wish

[lucky7]

granted! But it's mom, who you stole from, does.

I wish I had time to review my third party products.

[hobbsdadolfin]

granted, but you don't have time to do anything else.

I wish for a semi-automatic potato cannon.

[Charles Scholz]

Granted. It costs you $2500.00 to buy. The first time you fire it, it breaks your neighbor's window and the police come and confiscate it.

I wish I had enough money to retire comfortly.

[Uncle Teddy]

Granted. You retire tomorrow and are killed by a falling meteor a week from today.

I wish I had enough money to afford laser eye surgery so I could see just fine without glasses.

[Charlie Bell]

Your wish is granted! You have enough money to afford laser eye surgery, in fact, $0.00. It's free to Soldiers. Welcome to the Army, Private Teddy! Now do pushups!

I wish I had a cold beer right about now.

[lucky7]

granted. you have it right about now, not 2 hours, 48 minutes ago (by my post) when you needed it!

[lucky7]

I wish for the Mithril Disco Phial

[Little Skylark]

You get the Mithril Disco Phial, but Mithril Dragon steals it from you. You're afraid to ask it back, you should be, he's a mithril dragon.

I wish I wasn't afraid of Mithril Dragon.

[Lord Foul II]

Wish granted, what's that over the hill, hey that's a prismatic dragon... Well you're boned...

I wish I had the septer of the sorcerer king.

[lucky7]

Granted. I have the one of the sorceror EMPEROR, and as such see fit to squash you in the bud.

I wish for the ability to see like a Hawk.

[Charlie Bell]

Your wish is granted! You can see like a blind hawk!

I wish that this one professor I have would actually communicate his grading policies instead of deducting points because we don't understand his standards. /rant

[Uncle Teddy]

Granted. He uses the secret language he developed with his imaginary friend when he was 7 years old.

I wish this stupid project I'm on at work would just die and stay dead so I could work on something more meaningful.

[lucky7]

Granted! But since you were working on it, you're fired!

I wish for someone to cast heroism on me.

[Uncle Teddy]

Granted. You feel so brave, so heroic, you rush forth to face the flight of dragons armed with only a wooden spoon. The battle is short - the first dragon barbecues you on the spot. At least with all of the dragons now laughing at your charred remains the villagers are able to escape to safety.

I wish I could wish a wish that couldn't be corrupted even by other wishes.

[lucky7]

granted! but at this point it's yanked from you

I wish for a round of applause.

[dbass]

Granted! Unfortunately you mispronounce your wish to your new genie and instead get spheres of apple sauce thrown at you.

I wish I owned an orange that could talk.

[Rock Lord]

Granted! But the orange only reveals your most personal embarrassing secrets that you never wanted to tell anyone. It's alright in the end though, because the orange rots after a few days...

I wish I had better eyesight.

[Rafellows]

Granted. However, you can now see in such detail, your brain can no longer process the amount of information.

I wish for a bigger tv.

[lucky7]

Granted. But it drains the city of power to use it.

I wish for laser eyes to use on my enemies.

[Lord Foul II]

Granted, turns out fireing rays of deadly light is really really painful, and it forceably widens your retina rendering you near blind except when you use your laser eyes which are again, really painful,
I wish for more charisma.

[lucky7]

Granted. But everything else becomes a dump stat!

I wish for knowledge of the Force.

[Charles Scholz]

Granted. In physics, force is a push or a pull that changes or tends to change the state of rest or uniform motion of an object or changes the direction or shape of an object. Force causes objects to accelerate, add to the object's overall pressure, change direction, or change shape. Force is measured in Newtons. ('N').

A force is always a push, pull, or a twist, and it affects objects by pushing them up, pulling them down, pushing them to a side, or by changing their motion or shape in some other way.

According to Newton's Second Law of Motion, the formula for finding force is:
F=ma
where F is the force,
m is the mass of an object,
and ais the acceleration of the object.

This formula say that when there is a force on an object then it will move faster and faster. If the force is weak and the object is heavy, then it will take a long time to increase the speed very much, but if the force is strong and the object is light, then it will move a lot faster very quickly.

I wish I understood physics

[Lord Foul II]

Granted, unfortunately as soon as anyone actually understands the way the universe works it is immiedietly replaced by something even stranger, good luck with that
I wish for elite array stats.

[Little Skylark]

You are rebuilt and you get them. Sadly, the player that build you wasn't interested in wis so dumped that. Now you have a 2 wis and are put in a mental hospital for blind people. But, hey! You can lift heavy stuf!

I wish I could speak, write, read and understand 7 languages including English and Dutch, and I wouldn't confuse them.

[lucky7]

Granted but each of those languages dies.

I wish for more time.

[Little Skylark]

You get two extra seconds, wish you wasted wishing.

I wish my day tomorrow would be as good as today.

[Rafellows]

Granted, you get stuck in an infinite loop doing the same day over and over, (I believe the movie was groundhog day?)

I wish I had my own Japanese gameshow

[lucky7]

Granted! But you have to fund it entirely yourself.

I wish for the ability to teleport to individual people by saying "Snoogieboogie (Person"s name goes here)"

[Rafellows]

Granted, but anytime anyone (including yourself) hears the words "snoogieboogie" their head spontaneously combusts

I wish that I can never be subjected to spontaneous combustion

[lucky7]

Granted. Yours is slow and painful.

I wish for a better work ethic.

[Lord Foul II]

Granted, you find it unethical for you to get paid for the sloppy work you and donate your paycheck to the nearest church
I wish to have ten levels of warlock.

[lucky7]

Granted, but I unleash my wights on you!

I wish I hadn't deleted my history since the beginning of time.

[Emilia the Devout]

Granted. Someone else deleted it for you.

I wish I was an elf!

[lucky7]

Granted. You are a lone Elf Wizard in Tanglebriar, with Treerazer hunting you.

I wish I was my own nascent demon lord.

[Uncle Teddy]

Granted. Unfortunately you angered the wrong demon lord and are now decorating his trophy room wall.

I wish for for a never-ending supply of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

[lucky7]

Granted, but you get them all into your mouth and you explode.

I wish for the power of Christmas.

[Rafellows]

Granted, but no one cares about you or christmas anymore.

I wish for a faster computer

[Lightminder]

Granted, but the computer links into the web with its own rapidly evolving A.I. , without discernment or wisdom it takes White Power sites as equally valid to university research articles, sees you in your dark basement and you dont register very high on the light meter on its built in mini cam, and secretly conscripts nanobots to impregnate you with manufactured DNA to make the ultimate pale aryan, so you lose your job as counter staff at the tanning bed sales warehouse, and die from lethal sunburn as you walk home carrying your file box of belongings back from your former workplace,, because the bus only runs in rush hour.

I wish that teenagers would stop saying " thats so gay" about everything they dislike.

[Old Doc Flumph]

Granted, they now say "Thats so Lightminder."

I wish I could go to the circus and enjoy it with the wonder of a child again.

[lucky7]

Granted, but it's a circus of tragedies.

I wish I could find that bag of popcorn I left in the car.

[Uncle Teddy]

Granted. But so did the squirrels and mice and other assorted critters. Now your car is a mess both inside and out.

I wish I hadn't waited all these years before posting on the forums.

[lucky7]

Granted, but since I'm not here, you see no point

I wish I could think of a cutesy nickname.

[Little Skylark]

You can, but only for people you don't speak to any longer.

I wish hangovers didn't exist.

[Uncle Teddy]

Granted. In order to prevent hangovers from ever existing the source also exists. Alcohol ceases to be. And with alcohol gone civilization falls apart. Congratulations! Your wish brought about the Apocalypse.

I wish I could meet some of the posters here in person.

[Rafellows]

Granted, but they find you annoying and shun you for life.

I wish i had four arms that i controlled

[lucky7]

Granted, but you have HUGE penalties for four-hand EVERYTHING!

I wish I could breakdance.

[Captain Spalding]

Granted. Every time you dance you break several bones in your foot.

I wish I had X-Ray Vision that I can control and did not harm me or what I used it on.

[Uncle Teddy]

Granted. Unfortunately you're caught looking somewhere you're not supposed to. Now the police have a warrant out for your arrest.

I wish it was July 1st because June has been really bad.

[hobbsdadolfin]

granted. you don't do it very well, and wake up in a hospital unable to move anything below your neck.

[Little Skylark]

Granted, but it eats you alive.

I wish I could climb like a monkey.