Corrupt the Wish


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Shadow Lodge

Granted, At the ball everyone is super excited, but once the clock strikes midnight it turns back into Pumpking Mathfinder and everyone's stuck with a glass calculator.

I wish I could tweet about more than 80085 with my glass calculator.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. I don't what you're saying thought, so THAC0.

I wish to be the creator of the infinitely more popular Pathfinder 2nd Edition.

Sczarni

Granted! You name your daughter Pathfinder 2nd Edition. She's infinitely more popular than you ever were. Captain of her cheerleading squad and everything.

I wish I could get paid without having to go to work.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, you quit your job to beg for spare change outside convenience stores.

I wish my life was more peaceful.

Liberty's Edge

Granted! Unfortunately as soon as you die we have WWIII.

I wish for Conman to be immortal.


Granted. He gets the Highlander form of immortality. He still dies, but comes back in a little while.

I wish lucky7 made a wish to make things better for cats everywhere.


Okay, people, it isn't that hard.

Granted. Lucky7 wishes cats would all have their heads chopped off to become awesome floating heads, complete with blue mists and scary white things nearby.

I wish bags of holding were real, and commonplace!


Starfinder Superscriber

Granted, but you still can't afford them.

I wish that I didn't have so much of a caffeine resistance....


ok, on a single sip of caffeine, your body goes insianly hyper and you fall into a coma.

I wish for a thermonuclear bomb.


Granted. You find your roof caved in by a radioactive heap of toxic sludge which is the actual remains of the thermonuclear bomb you wished for after a failed detonation. YAY!

I wish hobbsdadolfin had a thermonuclear bomb.


ok, and I test it out on your house. Looks like there wasn't a failed detonation this time. YAY!

I wish Sissyl had a thermonuclear bomb so we could start WW3 YAY!


wish granted.
Sissyl has a thermonuclear bomb and starts WW3. Unfortunetly the world doesnt understant WW3 and instead thinks its something with twitter. #WW3 goes viral, and everyone links it to thermonuclear bombs, so now everyone has the bomb and is part of the revolution!

i wish to break this viscous corrupted wish cycle...


Granted, the next poster doesn't get a wish. Thanks for the bomb. I'm blowing this joint now.

The next poster wants to ban me for breaking the wish thread but is having a hard time because since the thread died they are trying to be the last poster.

Liberty's Edge

Granted but I restart this thread.

I wish for Pathfinder Online to be as awesome as promised in Kickstarter.


Sissyl wrote:
I wish bags of holding were real, and commonplace!

I did the math (rough estimate on a bread comparison), and it would cost $275,000 for a Bag of Holding... 1

---
Granted, but it is so awesome it attracts all the bad players, and they all decide to super gank everyone.

I wish that PFO will be awesome, but the said scenario to not happen (the players, still want a awesome game.)


Granted, to make sure there are no bad players they hand pick everyone that gets to play. No one who ever posted in a game was picked.

I wish I could sing realy well.


Granted. The guy with the tongs and the black hood who just strapped you into a rack even comments on how well you are going to sing for him, yay!

I wish I was the awesomest.

Liberty's Edge

Granted, but it's like in Afro Samurai, and you are killed by the Number 2, me.

I wish I could get Mark of the Ninja.

Silver Crusade

Granted. Your perceived limitations vanish, allowing you to get Mark of the Ninja, but suffer the consequences for ignoring those limitations.

I wish play by post games contentedly and obediently revolved around when I posted as a player, every day of the year.


Granted! A bunch of large, very muscular people in trenchcoats and sunglasses come into your home, and tell you that if you do ANYTHING other than post for PbP games, they will shoot your knees off, pull out your hair with a pair of pliers, and paint your apartment neon green. In return, everyone else involved in those PbP games will be subjected to the same.

I wish I knew everything but doing so did not make me go insane.


ok, it kills you.

I wish my girlfriend didn't live 500 miles away.

Silver Crusade

Granted. She lives 5,000 miles away.

I wish these people in trenchcoats would do something nice for a change.


Granted! they start playing shadowrun.

I wish I wasn't a reaper mini-I AM ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL


KABOOM. no longer a reaper. just a pile of scrap metal.

I wish I could get my knees replaced. they kinda hurt from being shot when I tried to go to the bathroom.


Granted. Big tunas actually don't have knees.

I wish the Reapers would share their recipe for sentient DNA sludge with us.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. To Serve Man.

I wish I knew how in all that is holy hobbs has a girlfriend.


And now you wish you didn't know.

I wish for sharks with friggin lasers on their heads.


There are sharks with lasers on their heads, but they're in my possession.

I wish for a swimming pool big enough to put my sharks in.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. The oceans are formed.

I wish for a shoulder-mounted laser cannon.


You had one for a moment, but a stole it because it will look great when I'm riding my lazer sharks in my oceans.

I wish I could keep al this laser stuf.


Granted. As it is a well known fact that you can't take it with you when you die the only solution is immortality. You keep aging indefinitely, but never die... not even when you fall and break every super-frail bone in your body.

I wish for Jar-Jar Binks to never have been introduced as a character in star wars.

Silver Crusade

Granted, he was introduced in Star Trek.

I wish for a creative plot hook that involves the PC's Tiny Tarrasque.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. Rovagug comes back looking for his spawn and defeats the Dawnflower.

I wish for my comic book ideas to get off the ground and make me the next Stan Lee.

Sczarni

Granted! Your comic book ideas attract the notice of the current Stan Lee. He comes to your house and passes on to you the terrible secrets that have been guarded by the the earth's Stan Lees since time immemorial. He says, "With great power comes great responsibility. And it's all your responsibility now, chump!" and transforms back into the carefree teenaged boy he was before he received the mantle himself. As you look at your new white-mustachioed visage in the mirror, you begin to wonder if the power you wield is truly worth all the burdens you now bear.

I wish for a kitty cat.

Lantern Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16

Granted! Here's your cat!

I wish my birthday today will be awesome!

Liberty's Edge

1 person marked this as a favorite.

First off, happy birthday

Second off: Granted! It's awesome! You like being on your own anyways!

I wish I could settle my girl troubles.


You become celibate and only have contact with girls through this forum.

I wish I had a nice job.

Silver Crusade

Granted. Ah, those were the good old days, eh? When you had that job as a consultant? Before your awesome roommate came and took it, your boy/girlfriend, your parent's adoration and evicted you? Yeah, those were the good old days.

I wish I weren't an Awesome Roommate.


Granted! You're that dude. Never gets any studying done, doesn't meet people, has a hair trigger temper, severely addicted to My Little Pony Friendhip is Magic, always borrowing money. Still you have one good side. You cook, really good, though weird stuff. If only you did not leave them in the fridge for months...

I wish for luck when asking for a date.

Silver Crusade

You get that dude. The wish makes him good at a second thing which must not be mentioned on these forums.

I wish my girlfriend were as addicted to MLP:FiM as I am.

Liberty's Edge

Granted, unfortunately, she dumps you so you can do that more and more.

I wish I could be guaranteed that my PFS characters would survive when I play them.


ok, but it comes with the restriction that you cannot engage in anything that would put his life in danger. that was way too easy.

I wish my girlfriend lived within 20 miles of me.


Granted, her house is instantly transported to within 20 miles of you. The placement within that sphere, hey, we can leave it to chance.

I wish hobbsdadolfin has a good day today.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. Sadly, he wakes up hellbent on world destruction.

I wish all my problems were simple.


Granted. You will be eaten by me. For when you have been eaten, all your problems become simply irrelevant.

I wish my bathtub were a little bigger and a lot sexier.


Granted. Your entire apartment is now replaced by a very responsive mass of flesh that moans when touched, with... Floating stuff in various ponds.

I wish you have a good bath.


That is just outri- ah. Ah... Oh. Mmm. Yeah... excuse me.

The bath scene:
EXPLOSIVE RUNE: 6d6 ⇒ (3, 5, 4, 2, 2, 2) = 18 force damage, no save.

Ahem... I wish love were timeless.

Liberty's Edge

Granted! Sadly, you end up alone forever.

I wish I could get over my fear of bears.


Granted! You stop worrying, and instead go cuddle with the little bear cub you meet. With pedictable results.

I wish all the money in the world was equally divided.

Silver Crusade

Another past tense wish! But rather than making it so in the past... all the world's money disappears without compensation. The loss of easily transferable currency results in the death of billions within months.

I wish ... for ... strawberry-flavored peanut butter. Without jelly.

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