Corrupt the Wish


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Grand Lodge

It's a great adventure your first level wizard does not survive.

I wish I had never posted that song.

The Exchange

Wish away, your denial is so strong you've forgotten your culpability. Your frenemies are only to willing to remind you.

I wish I knew what to do with all these poinsettas leftover from xmas.

Grand Lodge

Give them to me.

I wish I was Caiden Cailean.


Granted. Your name is legally changed.

I wish for POWER, UNLIMITED POWER!!! *evil and very hammy laugh*


Granted, everytime someone tells a joke you snort like a piggy, bringing everyone to their knees. In laughter.

I wish my life hadn't just gotten kicked in the groin.


Granted! Your life just got a purple nurple and a charlie horse.

I wish I bought better games for my new (used) PS3.


Granted! unfortunately, your new (used) PS3 dies about five minutes after you load up the first game.

I wish I could use force lightning.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! You can use it in the few moments of life you have remaining before you get thrown into the reactor core by your erstwhile apprentice.

I wish that the leftovers I'm about to eat for lunch were fresh made instead of being leftovers.


Granted! Timmy, the Time Paradox Worm, appears because leftovers cannot, by definition, be freshly-made and he regurgitates fresh-made time-paradox bile into your mouth for lunch.

I wish I had brain bleach now.


Granted, it's being served as dressing on a bowl of Timmy, the Time Paradox Worm's special salad.

I wish I had more time for lunch.


You have all the time in the world for lunch, but it only takes a couple of minutes to eat you.

I wish lunch didn't get stuck between my teeth.

Grand Lodge

Granted. You get stuck in it's teeth.

I wish I had a real, working Sonic Screwdriver.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, we use it to turn your hearing aids up. CAN YOU HERE ME NOW!?!

I wish I had more time to screw around in here, everything's loose.


Granted! You tighten every screw in the place just to have the nails fall out.

I wish I had more time to play Demon's Souls tonight.

Grand Lodge

Granted! Unfortunately, the game crashes.

I wish Demigod had arrived on time.


it arrives on time. along with a man-eating dolphin

I wish I had a working DS.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, but its boss schedules it to work during most of your free time.

I wish it was the weekend.


No problem. It may take a few hours to take effect though...

I wish I knew.


you get so much knowledge, your head explodes.

I wish I had Linux

Grand Lodge

Granted, but you lose all of your possible typing appendages.

I wish Demigod was here :(


Granted! The Traveler has come! Choose and perish!

I wish Kyros picks the second one.


It's so coloful and bright every one can see you have a really cute face. (There is just one big pimple, that's why your hiding in the dark.)

I wish the neigbours would be quite.

Grand Lodge

Granted. You are evicted/bankrupted. The man in the dumpster next to you is mute.
OR
Granted. A gypsy family moves into your living room.

I wish my Half-Orc Ranger in PFS would get to 6th level already.

Silver Crusade

Granted! But he dies at the hands of a CR3 the next session after you level up.

I wish I would finish my PFS character for emergency use.


Granted. You finish the character, then your current character dies and you need him. then he dies, and you're in the same boat as before minus two characters.

I wish for a giant space laser.


Starfinder Superscriber

Granted! They take aim and destroy your house when you're calibrating it.

I wish I was finished moving my girlfriend into our house.


granted! it takes so long she dumps you

I wish SNL was on more than once a week

Grand Lodge

Granted! It is no longer SNL and is not as funny.
I wish I had something better.


It's Demigod, but it was delivered wrongly and it's still at my house.

I wish I had something faster.

Grand Lodge

Granted. It rips off your flesh when you try to drive it. I wish I knew what Adventure Path to take.

The Exchange

Granted! You've finally decided on Kingmaker, but the DMPCs take all the glory and get all the power. You just barely made it to 5th level only to be designated as a cohort minion. Out of frustation, you attempt a sandbox coup. Rocks fell. Sad isn't it?

I wish y'all would stop referencing Demigod.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, everyone starts making wishes for Demi Moore. And you thought Demigod was old.

I wish I could get out of here and try and find a game in my area.


Granted. You leave your house and run into Demi Moore, who tells you of a new gaming group thats forming in your area. Demi also tells you exactly where it is, and warns you that you'll be flayed alive if you try and attend.

I wish my Giant Space Laser had an off button.


Starfinder Superscriber

Granted, but you REALLY don't want to reach up and touch it.

I wish my cat would stop trying to eat the dried roses by my bed.


Granted! Your cat starts eating human flesh. You keep finding its kills in your basement.

I wish I knew what all this Demigod business was about.

Grand Lodge

Granted! Demigod was a video game I ordered for myslef on christmas, and now I think it may not have been registered!

I wish I hadn't bought my Inner Sea World Guide off amazon.


granted. you know everything ever associated with the word "demigod". you go into a coma due to the amount of mental stress from the sudden addition of knowledge

I wish this wish will not be corrupted


dang it kryos, did you have to post while I was writing?


granted. instead of buying it off amazon, you buy it off of dolphinmania. it is a talking dolphin that will tell you everything you need to know, and its only payment is your life

I still wish this wish will not be corrupted

Grand Lodge

granted. Instead, you have to suffer the bad part of thew topmost wish: mine.

I wish people would recognize my mom's plan for a zombie apocalypse is dumb. (Put a speaker on top of the Empire State, zombies will come up to it and push each other off)


Yeah that's dumb, this will only create a big mountain of zombies where eventually one squashed zombie oze will rise from.

I wish I had not visualised that.

Grand Lodge

You visualized the entire Billie Video.

I wish I had more time to spend here.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, you stay here all day arguing with Quiche lisp who the real winner is. *makes a Mark Hoover face*

I wish I could figure out where all this is going.


as with all wishes regarding knowledge, you learn everything that will ever happen on this thread, and your hair falls out from stress


I wish Hobbsdadolfin had wished he had hair.


I wish I had made a wish...

ok, actual wish. I wish for Skyro Nude to stop telling corny jokes.


He now tells jokes that inflict Tasha's uncontrollable hideous laughter.

I wish I had an more interesting painting.


your picture is so beautiful that nobody pays any attention to any of your posts.

I wish XKCD would be unblocked

P.S. Skyro Nude is an anagram for Kyros Deun, for people who did not know.

Grand Lodge

XKCD is a bizarre creature from Greek mythology. It is unblocked.
See cause of XD...

I wish I could play Pathfinder more than once a month.

Sczarni

Granted! You are kidnapped by a crazy millionaire who forces you to play Pathfinder with him every day. He's the GM, and he always kills off all the PCs every session.

I wish my Library Guides would write themselves.

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