Corrupt the Wish


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Sovereign Court

*Nuke*

I wish I had a trip to the moon.


Granted! you fly to the moon on the shockwave of your own nuke.

I wish to create a new strain of superwine in under half an hour with but a fraction of nature's resources and a fool for an assistant. 'Fueldrop? he's mad!' they'd say.'He's insane, he's dangerous'. But I'll show them, I'll show them all!

Sovereign Court

You kill the Pope.

I wish I won the lottery.


Granted. However, due to the sheer number of winners for this particular lottery, you get less than the cost of the ticket back. Better luck next time.

I wish that I didn't get the blame for killing the pope.

Sovereign Court

While covering up your trail you inadvertently admit to plotting to kill the Queen.

I wish I was super awesome.


You find a whole bunch of goblins who think you are massively super awesome! They also think you go well with barbecue sauce.

I wish the next poster would really get his or her wish.


You can't wish to be something you already are, it makes it incorruptible! That's cheating!

NINJAS?!? why did they have to be ninjas?
ok: Your wish is granted, I will not foul up my wish.

I wish that my supposed plan to kill the queen was so fantastically awesome and epic that it makes me an instant legend across the internet before my execution. (after all, if you're going to fail you may as well fail so spectacularly that forevermore people point and say 'wow, he f***ed up GOOD!')

Shadow Lodge

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Granted! You become an internet legend... but alas, this is still the internet and two days later you are overshadowed by a meme about a dancing cat.

I wish for the perfect cup of tea.


Granted! you go to the machine and it scans your taste buds, sends experimental impulses into your brain, then calculates exactly what you want.

No-one knows why it does this, as it gives you exactly what it gives everyone else: a cup of brown goo almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

I wish I was 20% more awesome.

Shadow Lodge

Ah! But being a Hitchhiker's fan, I shall still count that as a win.

As for your wish - Granted! However everyone else becomes an increment 25% more awesome. They shake their heads sadly at you as they depart to fight crime in their zeppelin navy.

I wish that I possessed the Power of Funk.

Shadow Lodge

Granted. No body comes within 100 feet of you and even then they look overpowered by your awesome scent. You hear them shouting for you to take a bath in a pool of lava.

I wish this day would end soon.


Granted, but there is no next day, just nigths.

I wish the road wouldn't be slippery.


Granted. Every road in the world is now covered in heaps and mounds of non-slippery gravel, sized four inches in diameter plus. Civilization dies.

I wish the next poster would wish for a cheeseburger.

Shadow Lodge

Granted. Cheseburger?

I wish I had a coke.


Granted!
You have just finished constructing a model of an A-10 Thunderbolt, taking you roughly 14.2 straight hours. "Gee whillikers, that was thirsty work!" you exclaim, and you grab your last can of Coke. Ice-cold, drops of condensation coat the outside. You begin to salivate as your parched throat begs for liquid. Suddenly, as you open the can with that distinctive noise (that for reasons of maintaining some semblance of my pride I will not attempt to transcribe), you hear a muffled WHOOMPH from above your head. A strange, orange multi-tentacled THING has appeared on top of your head, and it extends a proboscis, drinks the entire can of Coke, covers your head and shoulders with a strange liquid that you suspect may be urine, then teleports away in a flash and burst of flame. The flame results in the top of your head being seared, leaving you with a marvellous tonsure. You are now partially bald, sticky, disgusted, and still very thirsty.

I wish I knew how to avoid this impending TPK.


Granted, You know! however, your characters ability to get their hands on an immovable rod, three cows, the complete history of Romania,and a hat made of solid starmetal is another story entirely.

I wish to write a children's story.


Granted, you write a story about three puppies and their adventures on a farm. They help a little boy solve mysteries and navigate space. The book sells millions of copies and all proceeds are donated to the ASPCA. You're a worldwide success as a philanthropist and role model, until your underground dog fighting group exposes your for the heartless fraud you are.

I wish I didn't stress about the holidays so much.


Granted, you forget the holidays all together , and all the mess that leaves this afterwards.

I wish my house was clean.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! Gelatinous cube!

I wish for about $3M so I can live off the dividends and retire in style.


Granted! But everyone else wishes for $40M each which depreciates the dollar, leaving you a relative pauper.

I wish I would stop forgetting things on my shopping list.

The Exchange

You get amnesia and forget everything BUT things on your shopping list.

I wish I was slightly better at video games.


Granted! You are now as much better as if you had spent fifteen more minutes playing video games in your life.

I wish it would rain on the next poster.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! It rained on me this morning, no really. I was wearing a rain jacket, though.

I wish this rain would clear up for Wednesday.


That wasn't so bad

Meanwhile in another plane:

"Pah! I'm not going to let some arrogant fool mortal and his wish-granting djinn or whatever change the weather on a whim!"

It rains on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. And the week after. And the next week. And the next week. And well, yeah it just rains forever afterwards.

I wish it'd stop raining. It's been four freakin' months now. I can't even find the downstairs anymore...

Grand Lodge

Your wish granted, it starts hailing.

I wish to be king.


Granted, you're now Lord of the Flies.

I wish I didn't have the Conch.

The Exchange

You married to a mermaid for an entire, horrible year learning to breath in water just to be with her, when she decides to get devorced. She takes your money, your house, your dog, and your Conch Shell.

I wish I had a group to play Pathfinder with here... something's better than nothing...


You now have a group to play with. But they dislike you and don't let you play along.

I wish i wasn't so cold.


Granted! You donate to charities, nuzzle with puppies and are everybody's friend. Bullies beat you up and take your lunch money.

I wish prices on ebay weren't so ludicrous.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! Prices are reasonable, but the goods are ludicrous. Bidding starts at $5 for a pair of steampunk-Cthulhu-MLP:FIM-Batman fluffy bedroom slippers.

I wish I wasn't losing my office to go to a cubicle.

The Exchange

The cubicle comes to you.

I wish we could all make better wishes to corrupt!


Granted! All butter wishes are corrupted.

I wish Betty's better butter wasn't bitter.


It isn't any more, but it's sour to you now.

I wish a had a moondance.


Granted! You now have one severely scratched and burned copy of Van Morrisons Album Moondance.

I wish someone would open a Way of the Wicked game that I could apply for, and get in.


Granted!
You join a game, and it is a great group. The gameplay is simply fantastic. It is all you ever dreamed it would be.
Then, shortly after the first encounter, the GM goes on vacation.
For 6 months.
When he returns, he discovers that his house was burgled and all his Pathfinder goodies were stolen, as well as his prize stuffed bear and boxed sets of Star Trek:TNG. The crushing despair results in him completely forgetting about the game, and it never resumes.

I wish I could grow a moustache.


You can, but only if you're upside down for at least 10 hours a day.

I wish i did not have so much pie left over.


Granted! I come over and eat all your pie. The downside is that now you have no pie at all...and it was delicious.

I wish dragons were real and that I had one that I could love and call Mr. Fluffykins.

Grand Lodge

It loves you... until you forget to feed it.

I wish I could afford the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.

The Exchange

And all it will cost is your SOUL!!!!

I wish I could have more money than I have right now.

Grand Lodge

Granted. I give you a penny.

I wish Team Ico would stop fighting and finish The Last Guardian to their ideal specifications by March 7, 2013.

The Exchange

Team ico stops fighting and they finish The Last Guardian just as you said... except that because of their non-fighting, each member decided to make the game their own way, resulting in not a comprehensible game, but a game that is considered worse than E.T. the game.

I wish I could fall asleep earlier at night, around 11:00 p.m. instead of 1:00 a.m. or 2:00 a.m.

Grand Lodge

You magically gain the ability to gain a full night's sleep ina few short seconds. You cannot fall asleep at any other time. This extra time leaves you dog tired in the middle of the afternoon and night. This stinks when you play pathfinder.

I wish those children hadn't died today :(


Wow, you just broke this game. No one is heartless enough to grant a corrupted version of that wish. And if there is...well, I'm sorry.


El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas wrote:
Wow, you just broke this game. No one is heartless enough to grant a corrupted version of that wish. And if there is...well, I'm sorry.

Granted. Rather than this awful nightmare, the guys get a cold, reflects on life, realize this is an awful idea and very evil at that, and thus never do it.

I hope that worked. (I'm on the impression two colds on bad guys that prevent this whole mess is better than so many deaths. I hope the families are doing ok.)


Well, that wasn't really corrupt...Anyway, make a wish!

Grand Lodge

I like it.
I wish I could find love.


You play pathfinder, right? what truer love is there than between a man and his rulebook.

I wish I wasn't evil.

The Exchange

As per the rules of this thread, I am FORCED to make it so that you are not Evil. Well... You are not evil with the concistence of the Vabula Tribe of South East Golarion. They're cannibals, and it is a good act in their culture to be a cannibal! And then there's the McGngng Clan of the North! They think it's good to steal, murder, and jaywalk! Man... bet you're wishing for something different now.

I wish for my cat to be bald!


He goes bald, because all the hair he grows falls out immediately, but he keeps on growing more. Cat hair everywhere! Forever! (It's cat hair, you'll never get rid of it.)

I wish a had a bunny.


Granted. I just left you a present in your closet.

I wish my new owner didn't look like a preditory bird.

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