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Corrupt the Wish


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51 to 100 of 2,781 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

Tim Malmstrom wrote:
zylphryx wrote:

You wish is granted. However, the hammer is cursed causing you to hammer in the morning, hammer in the evening, all over this land, to hammer out justice, to hammer out freedom, to hammer out love between the brothers and the sisters, all over this land. Soon thereafter, the police show up and arrest you for the countless murders of all your bludgeoned victims scattered all over this land.

I wish I had a time machine which would allow for travel forwards, backwards and sidewards along and around the current and all possible timelines.

Your wish is granted, but the prospect of you ownign a timemachine that cn do all that attracts the attention of the Guardian of Time, and he prompty decides to just erase you from existence.

I wish I knew every cantrip in the world.

Your wish is granted. You now can trip. And you do. All the time.

I wish I was stronger.

Taldor

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
KaeYoss wrote:


I wish I was stronger.

Your wish has been granted. People can now smell you coming from 20 blocks away.

I wish I knew what to wish for.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
zylphryx wrote:
KaeYoss wrote:


I wish I was stronger.

Your wish has been granted. People can now smell you coming from 20 blocks away.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Your wish is granted: You now have an instinctive knowledge of the ideal way to word wishes in order to maximise the amusement potential for the efreet granting those wishes to you.

I wish GRR Martin would hurry up with his books.

Andoran RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! GRR Martin hurries up with his books, but the rest of them turn out like when Stephen King hurried his way through the last 3 books of the Dark Tower. To call them "disappointing" would be a vast understatement.

I wish my wishes didn't get twisted.

Taldor

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Charlie Bell wrote:
I wish my wishes didn't get twisted.

Your wish is granted. From this point forward your wishes will merely be stretched beyond the breaking point, multiple times, and then the bits tied back together into a tangled mass.

I wish I was immortal, based upon my own personal definition of immortality which would be subject to change only at my discretion.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
zylphryx wrote:
Charlie Bell wrote:
I wish my wishes didn't get twisted.

Your wish is granted. From this point forward your wishes will merely be stretched beyond the breaking point, multiple times, and then the bits tied back together into a tangled mass.

I wish I was immortal, based upon my own personal definition of immortality which would be subject to change only at my discretion.

Your wish is granted: You are rendered immortal and then entombed in the centre of a distant planet.

I wish I'd wish for something worthy to wish for.

Osirion

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber

Your wish is granted. All your wishes will now benifit me, the most worthy.

I wish I hadn't said that.

Taldor

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Charles Scholz wrote:

I wish I hadn't said that.

Your wish is granted. You did not say that, you yelled it from the hilltops with such force that all Gods, Djann, Efreet and every other wish bestowing creature jumped in shock at the noise. They have all vowed their revenge upon you.

I wish I had a sandwich.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
zylphryx wrote:
Charles Scholz wrote:

I wish I hadn't said that.

Your wish is granted. You did not say that, you yelled it from the hilltops with such force that all Gods, Djann, Efreet and every other wish bestowing creature jumped in shock at the noise. They have all vowed their revenge upon you.

I wish I had a sandwich.

Your wish is granted, as every memory you possess of ever having once had a sandwich comes rushing into your brain. Because, strictly speaking, you HAD a sandwich.

And you're still hungry. Noige.

I wish our CEO would double my paid vacation time.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
PWU wrote:
I wish our CEO would double my paid vacation time.

Easily done.

Wait- didn't you get the memo?
All paid vacation time was reduced to zero.
And zero doubled is what you have.

I wish I could throw my cold away like an apple core.

Taldor

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
niel wrote:
I wish I could throw my cold away like an apple core.

Your wish is granted. Apple cores will now stick with you for 7-10 days.

I wish the UPS truck would get here with my delivery right now.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
zylphryx wrote:
niel wrote:
I wish I could throw my cold away like an apple core.

Your wish is granted. Apple cores will now stick with you for 7-10 days.

I wish the UPS truck would get here with my delivery right now.

Your wish is granted: The truck crashes into your house. Unfortunately, your shipment is destroyed during the collision. As is your RPG collection.

I wish supper was ready.


Wish granted: Your supper is read but it consists of entirely of cod liver oil.

I wish I had more time to play football.


Wish granted: You're fired!

I wish I had the money to buy myself a Caribbean island.

Taldor

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
KaeYoss wrote:
I wish I had the money to buy myself a Caribbean island.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, the money is counterfeit. When you go to pay the shady characters you contacted to purchase the Isla del Diablo Pollo, they quickly realize what you did not. You end up buried deep in the sands of the island you sought to purchase.

I wish my catalytic converter was not shot all to hell.

Andoran RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Your wish is granted! Your catalytic converter is fixed. Your cylinder head, on the other hand....

I wish for perfect happiness.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Charlie Bell wrote:

Your wish is granted! Your catalytic converter is fixed. Your cylinder head, on the other hand....

I wish for perfect happiness.

The natural state of humanity is one of misery. Hence, perfect happiness can only be found in death. Wish granted. *rocks fall*

I wish I had a new computer, built to my exact specifications, made of components that will never fail or malfunction due to any inherent flaw or exterior influence, with a perpetually stable distro and install of my preferred OS.

Taldor

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Power Word Unzip wrote:
I wish I had a new computer, built to my exact specifications, made of components that will never fail or malfunction due to any inherent flaw or exterior influence, with a perpetually stable distro and install of my preferred OS.

Wish granted. The computer, however, quickly achieves sentience, determines the human race is a threat to all of existence and therefore must be eliminated. It decides to start on this cleansing with the closest human available and you are electrocuted the next time you attempt to log into your system.

I wish moon really was made of green cheese.


Wish granted: Sadly the cheese moon attracts a gigantic outer space mouse that devours the moon and since it's already so close also earth...

I wish the sun was shining.

Andoran RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted. The sun is shining. It's beating down on you, in fact. You're in the middle of the Sahara with no transportation. You're thirsty, and there's not a drop of water in sight. Also, you aren't wearing sunscreen.

I wish for sovereignty.


zylphryx wrote:
Power Word Unzip wrote:
I wish I had a new computer, built to my exact specifications, made of components that will never fail or malfunction due to any inherent flaw or exterior influence, with a perpetually stable distro and install of my preferred OS.

Wish granted. The computer, however, quickly achieves sentience, determines the human race is a threat to all of existence and therefore must be eliminated. It decides to start on this cleansing with the closest human available and you are electrocuted the next time you attempt to log into your system.

I wish moon really was made of green cheese.

I'M PRETTY SURE MALEVOLENT SENTIENCE WASN'T ONE OF MY SPECIFICATIONS SIR

=]

Taldor

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Power Word Unzip wrote:
zylphryx wrote:
Power Word Unzip wrote:
I wish I had a new computer, built to my exact specifications, made of components that will never fail or malfunction due to any inherent flaw or exterior influence, with a perpetually stable distro and install of my preferred OS.

Wish granted. The computer, however, quickly achieves sentience, determines the human race is a threat to all of existence and therefore must be eliminated. It decides to start on this cleansing with the closest human available and you are electrocuted the next time you attempt to log into your system.

I wish moon really was made of green cheese.

I'M PRETTY SURE MALEVOLENT SENTIENCE WASN'T ONE OF MY SPECIFICATIONS SIR

=]

this is all about twisting the wish ... your exact specifications can have negative repercussions that you do not foresee ... as was the same with my wish for "immortality according to my personal definition of such, subject to change at my discretion". You wanted a kick ass computer, you got a kick ass computer that kicked your ass. ;)


Charlie Bell wrote:
I wish for sovereignty.

Granted.

You are transported to your new land (a deserted island) where you rule as a king.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I think the computer should be delivered in a perfect sphere made of unobtainium.


oops forgot to wish.

I wish for the patience of Job.


Is that really your wish???

Well, granted. You will learn, over the course of experiencing everything Job had to suffer through, his patience.

I wish for three more wishes.


We had that already!

Wish granted: Yet you have no idea what to do with your new wishes and your genie turns into a efreet who devours your soul.

I wish I would win the "1000th post wins" thread.

Osirion

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber

Your wish is granted. But due to a computer bug, it comes in at 1001.

I wish I had a yacht.


Wish granted: But sadly the world goes through a phase of total desertification...

I wish I were Charles Scholz


Zyren Zemerys wrote:

Wish granted: But sadly the world goes through a phase of total desertification...

I wish I were Charles Scholz

Your wish is granted: Your mind trades places with Charlez Cholz exactly two seconds before an housemaid accidentally knocks one of the potted plants off the windowsill 10 stories up, which then promptly squashes your skull like a ripe grape.

I wish I could get into the Armory of the Gods to steal the Staff of Ultimate Might.

Taldor

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Tim Malmstrom wrote:
I wish I could get into the Armory of the Gods to steal the Staff of Ultimate Might.

Wish granted. Getting out out the armory, however ...

I wish I could remember everything I have forgotten.


zylphryx wrote:
I wish I could remember everything I have forgotten.

Wish granted: You can now remember everything you have ever forgotten, which is pretty much every second of your life. All at once. All the time. The constant and *massive* sensory overload is unfortunately enough to turn you into a vegetable.

I wish that I had the Starstone.


Tim Malmstrom wrote:
I wish that I had the Starstone.

You find yourself in an unfamiliar environment, there is a bright light above you... as you look up you are lucky to catch the falling Starstone as it hurtles earthward and slams into the ground. You now have it on top of you, well whats left of you in the nanosecond after the impact.

I wish Gnomes were never invented.


Granted. Gnomes never were invented. They are retroactively changed so that they always existed, thus having outcrowded every other race, making every game world gnome-only.

I wish people would be smart!

Andoran

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Pawns, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Your wish is granted. The Genie whacks everyone with a wet towel and now they all smart!

I wish the edition wars had a clear winner that everyone in the gaming world agreed on.

Taldor

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Reckless wrote:
I wish the edition wars had a clear winner that everyone in the gaming world agreed on.

Wish granted. The Edition Wars spill out of the 3.5/PF/4e realm and encompass all RPGS. The fighting is ruthless and bloody. When the smoke cleared the only RPG left standing was F.A.T.A.L.

As it is the last game standing (solely for the reason that no one wanted to touch it and many games did themselves in to avoid even the contact resulting from pummeling that piece of tripe), it is declared, with much bemoaning and retching, to be the accepted victor from the Edition Wars.

As a result gaming grinds to less than a halt and our beloved hobby is now dead all thanks to you and your #!@#%^%*&* wish. Thanks Reckless. :(

I wish I had not evoked "The Game That Is Not To Be Named".

I'm sorry for mentioning that waste of pixels. Really. Truly.

Andoran

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Pawns, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Wish granted, you did not invoke it's name, but instead now have to use either charades or pictionary to explain which game won in your scenario.

I wish to watch :P

Taldor

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Reckless wrote:
I wish to watch :P

Wish granted. Unfortunately, the resulting illustrations and hand gestures open a rip in reality to the Realm of the Old Ones. Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep, Cthugha, Ithaqua and all the rest breach the tear, entering our world in the middle of the Pictionary round.

Upon witnessing their Presence, your mind snaps.

Upon seeing the images that called them forth, their minds snap and they all become middle management in Some Nameless Corporation.

I wish wishes were horses.

Andoran RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted. Your wish is Sebastian.

I wish for a date with Scarlet Johannsson.

Spoiler:
Srsly, I asked my wife what I should wish for, and she said I should wish for a date with Carmen Electra. I prefer Scarlet Johannsson though.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Your wish is granted but the Scarlett Johansson you meet is not the celebrity but an ungly girl from Sweden.

I wish for more time to run more pbps.

Taldor

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Zyren Zemerys wrote:
I wish for more time to run more pbps.

Wish granted. You find a lottery ticket on the ground and when you check, the numbers match last nights drawing for eleventy billion dollars. Overjoyed, you quickly head into work and quit, in the process telling off your boss and burning all possible bridges.

When you drive to your state's main lottery center, you find out the ticket was for the previous night's drawing and you are now unemployed and have plenty of time to run more pbps.

I wish the world was flat.

Andoran RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted. An Elder Evil from beyond the stars steps on the world. *squish* it's flat now.

I wish my Bluetooth worked.


Your incisor jumps out of your mouth, turns into a smurf, and heads to Applebee's to inquire about a position as a dishwasher.

I wish I twelve years old again, knowing what I know now.


Wish granted. You turn into eleven years old with a grown-up mind. Moreover, you are given the gift of not aging. Thus, you can now enjoy being forbidden everything grown-ups do, being forced into school (your old school has a place for you and everything), and being beaten by bigger kids... forever. Oh, and nobody pays your bills.

I wish to be a goddess.


Wish granted: You become the new godess of ugliness and powerlessness. Now you're mega ugly and don't have the power to change that...oh, and you're immortal - d'oh.

I wish I would have thought of stating my win in the "100th post wins" thread when I wrote the 1000th post.


Wish granted. You had thought about that and, overjoyed, got down from a brain stroke leaving you paralyzed and unable to strike the return key and send the fateful 1000th post. Nasty…

I wish for peace in the world.


Wish granted: While there is peace and harmony all over earth, the Death Star appears and blasts the planet from space.

I wish for Episode VII.


Easy! Wish granted : you get it. And it's predictably choke full of whiny and obnoxious aliens, nasal voiced, with a worse story than episodes 1-2-3.

I wish I had time to play all Campaign Paths Paizo cranks out AND still earn a living.


Wish granted. You are thrown into jail, where your total expenses for living are around $2 a month, which you handily earn by washing laundry. You also have massive free time, far and away enough to play the adventure paths, but sadly, gaming books are not allowed through prison censorship so you can't actually play...

I wish there were real elves.

Andoran RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted. There are real elves. But they're cannibals, and they're heading your way with a set of silverware and a jar of barbecue sauce....

I wish the delivery guy would hurry up with my Chinese food.

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