Corrupt the Wish


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The Exchange

Oh, you can switch between them, so long as they're all at the same time and not seperate.

I wish I could actually get on with the story in Skyrim.

Sczarni

Granted! In the next part of the Skyrim story, it turns out that Bowser has kidnapped Donkey Kong's bananas and to get them back you've got to find all the pieces of the Triforce.

I wish this library weren't quite so cold.


Granted! All of the books spontaneously combust, making the library much warmer. You also owe the library $136,239,044.98 for all the destroyed books.

I wish it would snow already.


snow falls, everyone dies.

I wish that campaign didn't end so suddenly.


They were all taken to prison, when they are released in 18 years your campaign will continue.

I wish I could play D&D a little more often.


Granted, you're now a regular contestant on 'Desperate and Dateless', the new tv show on channel 10.

I wish that I knew what I'm watching.

Grand Lodge

Granted; you're watching Britney Spears's "Poison" music video.

I wish for a new computer.


Granted! You get the latest Alienware gaming rig, with all the trimmings. It works perfectly, never overheats and fits perfectly in the space you set aside for it.

It lasts about a day before a visiting friend accidentally knocks over a can of softdrink near it, ruining each and every component.

I wish to be smote appropriately from on high for ruining such a beautiful machine. This may be my last wish as a result.


BOOM!

I hope he's OK...


He's fine! You are not as you didn't make a wish and thus broke the chain. You will have 7 years of bad luck unless you mail out 140 letters to your closest friends telling them to each send $5 dollars to me by midnight. The money will be used to pray for your soul (such as it is) and liquor...

I wish a speedy recovery to DJ-Bogie.

Sczarni

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted! He recovers speedily -- so speedily that he gets speedy superpowers. He has to change his forum name to DJ-Boogie.

I whish more whords where spelled whith "wh".

The Exchange

People continue to misspell them without their h-counterparts.

I wish I could join in a campaign created by The Vicious Chicken of Bristol. They sound like fun.

Shadow Lodge

Granted.

Tirq: Arrives at game night with his powerful new character. Knocks on the door.

VCOB: bawk bawk waves Tirq in with his wing.

Tirq: Yeah, you'll see. This character is going to knock some heads.

VCOB: bawk bawk bawk

Tirq: Mmm hmmm. Sits at the table with the others.

VCOB: Launches into running the campaign standing on his chair flapping his wings shouting BAWK BAWK BAAAWWWKK BAWK BAWWWWK BAAAWWWKK BAWK BAWWWWK BAWK BAWK BAAAWWWKK BAWK BAAAWWWKK BAWK BAWWWWK BAAAWWWKK!!!

Your self esteem burrows into the floor and you get up and leave dejected.

I wish I knew what this "fun" is.

Sczarni

Granted! The "fun" has all been stolen by DJ-Boogie, and taken to his secret lair over on the "The Next Poster..." thread . It's an Earthshaking FORUM GAME CROSSOVER EVENT!!

I wish this event would make more sense than Crisis on Infinite Earths.


Meakes perfext since I donuts whatmore sence that is, drinkin makes way. Dangt noatbuk mouse ruinon myh sentins struxur.

I wish I didn't ahve to post into places atwon to git in this game.

Sczarni

Granted! Paizo decides for combine all the forum games into one single thread. The continuity becomes impossible to follow without a four-dimensional flow-chart.

I wish I could find a super hero comic to read that doesn't have an impenetrable backlog of continuity.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! You find a comic about a brand new superhero, from a brand new comic company, and it's everything you dreamed of. Issue #1 and everything! However, because the company has no brand recognition, the series peters out after issue #2. The company goes under, taking its IP with it, thus ensuring that you will only ever see those 2 issues--which, by the way, leave all the plots nail-bitingly unresolved. And because it never gained any significant readership, those issues are worthless to collectors.

I wish I had a space heater in here.


Granted! a sun appears right next to you.

I wish the destruction that having a sun appear on earth would cause is undone. Cos the earth is where I keep all my stuff.

Sczarni

Granted! Nothing is destroyed, it's all just relocated by the gravity. All your stuff still exists, somewhere...

I wish we could find the library laptops that we check out to students.


Granted!
You find them all - in various states of complete destruction, strewn all over the floor underneath the study carrels.

I wish for a TARDIS.


Granted, it comes with the nice little Doctor Who play set.

I wish I had a real Tardis and the knowledge how to use it properly.


Granted!

However, because you lack the Timelord ability to see what is in flux and what must be, you end up wrecking the universe by altering history. Congratulations.

I wish the new Star Wars movie will not be terrible.


Granted! The movie is filled with fantastically witty dialogue, clever puns and revolutionary concepts... but its potential is only fully realized in the middle-eastern dub. To everyone else it's even worse than episode one.

I wish I wasn't so cynical.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! You're Ponyfied!

I wish I could get my man card back after that last one. I feel dirty.

The Exchange

You get it back by watching manly things such as Mounted Combat, Mounted Crouque, Horseback riding compititions in the olympics... Hey, all those things involve ponies! Give me back that man card.

I wish there was a viable way to get a man card back.

Silver Crusade

Granted. You are now the only person in the world who can give someone a man card. You are overrun by angry, screaming teenage girls when you give one to Justin Bieber.

I wish I could have thought of a good "manly" nickname for Justin Bieber.

Grand Lodge

Granted, not only you had thought about the best manly nickname for Justin Bieber, but you thought on the best manly nickname EVER! Unfortunattely, you partyed the hole night, woke up with a hangover and had forgotten the nickname you thought last night...

I wish i could have all the Madmen season boxes.


Granted you now have boxes of Madmen cloves, Madmen garlic, Madmen Basil, Madmen Chili, Madmen Turmeric, Madmen Allspice,,,,etc.

I wish Charlie could get his man card back, I hate seeing him cry like that.

The Exchange

And he does. He then cries tears of joy... and everyone knows that crying is for little girls and for men whose ears were just ripped off by a bear. He thus gets his Man Card Revoked.

I wish for a good game of Malifaux/Warmachine tonight at my LGS.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! There's an awesome game of Malifaux/Warmachine tonight at your Local Golf Shop, but you miss it because you're hanging out at your Local Game Store.

Joke's on you, suckers! I'll be getting my man card back tomorrow when I jump out of a high performance aircraft while in flight. I wish for fair winds, full canopies, and a nice, soft landing.

The Exchange

The winds now have Fares, the Canopies are full of spikes, and there's a pillow underneath the spikes.

I wish that I could have gone to an Electric Light Orchestra concert back when they were really big.


Granted!
You did! However, the event is wiped from your memory, along with everyone else who attended.
While touring the US, a rogue government agent secretly injected them with an experimental chemical cocktail that ended up making the group's members grow to incredible sizes. "The show must go on," their marketing agent said, so they performed regardless of their 12-foot heights. Then, in the middle of the show, the CIA showed up, knocked everyone out with gas, administered an antidote to the band, then, after giving a generous dose of amnesiacs to all attendees, quickly left the scene. Nobody remembered them being really big, but it was recalled that the show was a knock-out hit! (What do you mean, how do I know? You mean YOU don't always bring gas masks to rock concerts?)

I wish that tonight, the kids would bring me candy, rather than me giving it out to them.


Granted! You enjoy your apples with razorblades, Snickers bars injected with rat posion, a bag full of pennies and a toothbrush.

I wish Halloween would stop being the "new Christmas".

Lantern Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16

Granted! Halloween is now the new Easter (Zombie Jesus indeed!).

I wish I PFS 4-07 was actually ready today as it's said for the past couple of days.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

not a wish:

Braingamer wrote:
an experimental chemical cocktail that ended up making the group's members grow to incredible sizes

WHOA totally misread that one!


Black Powder Chocobo wrote:

Granted! Halloween is now the new Easter (Zombie Jesus indeed!).

I wish I PFS 4-07 was actually ready today as it's said for the past couple of days.

Granted! It's published today, but it's really bad.

I wish I had time to run another campaign.


Haladir wrote:


Granted! It's published today, but it's really bad.

I wish I had time to run another campaign.

Granted you have enough time but everyone in the world besides you have conflicts with your schedule so not even one player can join, even A.I.'s have conflicts.

I wished jar-jar was deleted from all the Star Wars movies.

Sczarni

Granted! He's replaced by Mickey Mouse.

I wish I didn't have to write a stupid performance review this afternoon.


Granted! You have to write a serious performance review.

I wish my last performance review had been better. (Not that it was bad...)

Sczarni

Granted! You did so well, they decided to put you in charge of the entire company. There is no associated pay increase.

I wish all my laundry was clean.


Granted! But it all shrank two sizes and now you can't wear it.

I wish I didn't have to cook tonight.


Granted!
You don't! Instead, you are plagued by a constant stream of door-to-door salesmen besieging your house, continually plying their 'New-and-improved diet meal bars and sports drink', which taste like rotten avocado burgers and stale urine, respectively. They offer you free samples all night long, so cooking is unnecessary, but the ringing of your doorbell every 74 seconds prevents you from doing anything useful, including sleep.

I wish I could stop my bus from leaving without me when I see it pull away as I approach the bus stop.


Granted! Here's a rocket launcher.

I wish that people were more considerate of those around them.

Shadow Lodge

Granted. They now say excuse me after whizzing on your pant leg.

I wish I had as much free time as Quiche Lisp and the many aliases of Orthos.

Sczarni

Granted! But both Quiche Lisp and Orthos deputize you to write all of their posts for them. So there goes all of your new free time.

I wish I got a two-day weekend this week, instead of just Saturday.

The Exchange

You do, but you feel as if you could be more productive if you went to do whatever it is you do on sunday.

I wish I was better at playing League of Legends.


You eventually become awesome with various champions, but then they get nerfed. Also, despite the 40/0/20 k/d/a scores you get, people still call you a noob (True story, I kicked the crud out of a team, and they were calling either me or my team and I noobs. I was just fed.)

I wish games didn't have so much grinding... (And actually, now I want to play League of Legends...)

Sczarni

Granted! All grinding is removed from all games. Games are now exclusively made from whole un-ground grain. Soon, games are only sold in snooty Raw-Food Vegan restaurants for exorbitant prices.

I wish A Game of Dwarves would stop crashing on me.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! It only crashes on you one more time: a laptop running A Game of Dwarves is in the airplane that crashes into your house.

I wish this guy had showed up for the interview I was supposed to conduct with him at 5:30 this morning.


Starfinder Superscriber

Granted! He showed up but not for the interview but to have sex with your pets.

I wish I could find Deathnote dubbed instead of subbed.

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