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Corrupt the Wish


Forum Games

1,301 to 1,350 of 3,046 << first < prev | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | next > last >>
Qadira

Dude, that was yesterday. What's wrong with you?

I wish TVCoB was allowed back on his television show: "Sesame Street"


Granted! They're letting me back on for the next season but I had to agree to stop scaring the children and having whiskey shooters with Oscar backstage. But they will let me do my old "How to lose your hand in a garbage disposal" skit. The CPB said it was educational.

I wish that the Million Muppet March will be successful.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, a million plus stoned voters vote for Super Grover for president and Romney wins. Way to go smart alec's!

I wish I hadn't seen Roseanne Barr's name on the presidential ballet. Super Grover isn't looking so bad anymore.


You didn't, it's Tom Arnold on the ballot.

I wish we had better choices.

Osirion

Granted! Roseanne loses some weight, Obama grows a cool pharaoh beard, and Romney ditches Paul Ryan in favor of a wise coelacanth. Same candidates, but now they're all a bit...better, y'know?

I wish for fish on a magic dish.


Granted. The fish is a carp, the dish turns anyone who eats off of it into a 12 year old Japanese schoolgirl.

I wish I knew why the dish did that to people.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! You now know why it happens, but if you tell anyone, you'll turn into a 12-year-old Japanese schoolgirl.

I wish I understood that whole Japanese schoolgirl fetish thing. I mean... eww.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, understanding comes through empathy. You're sick!!!

I wish I had something to read for the bus ride home.

Sczarni

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted, you've got is a manga about carps and 12-year-old Japanese schoolgirls.

I wish this running gag would stop running.


Granted! You stop running when you're faced with an army of 12-year-old Japanese schoolgirls ready to beat you down with carp.

I wish that my dreams would stop being so vivid.

Osirion

You lose the ability to dream. You cease to achieve REM sleep. You are always exhausted and you go insane in about a week. Now your whole life, such as it is, feels like a hazy dream....

Now that I'm a 12-year-old Japanese schoolgirl, I wish for an oni pony.


Granted! Your new Oni Pony appears two kilometers above you, landing on your head with enough force to leave a crater in whatever you were standing on.

I wish that Pi was 3 for the sake of convenience.


Granted! You're still arrested for coming up to Pi, a young Japanese schoolgirl, in a windowless van and a bag of candy.

I wish I was better at Heroes of Might and Magic III.


Granted. Your skill at the game is now unparalleled... however, you're hopeless at directing others to play by proxy and whenever you and a system running HoMaMIII are in the same room the power instantly goes out.

I wish that warhammer 40,000 wasn't entirely obsessed with the damned space marines!


Granted! Warhammer 40K gets rid of Space Marines and switches to the Space Coast Guard. Their attacks are mostly ineffectual except against Space Cubans.

I wish there was a show about the Space Coast Guard.


Granted. unfortunately, they prove less popular than the space Cubans and the show switches its focus.

I wish the police would give back my windowless black van full of candy.


Granted. They give the windowless black van full of candy back to its original owner, a 300lb unemployed space marine. He invites yout to suck his lolly, it'll be out of this world.

I wish I wasn't so tired.


smacks Live Bait with a +7 Merciful Pillow of Slumber. He falls asleep. I'm not wasting wish-granting stuffness on that! Oh yes, by the way: the +7 Merciful Pillow of Slumber? ... Yeah, it's an Epic weapon. Costed me a fortune.

I wish I didn't have to start work at 6 in the morning, and no, not any time before 6.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, you just have to be there with your coffee ready and all the other crap you usually waste the first 15:00 minutes of your workday doing when you get there at 6. You can start working at 6:01.

I wish I didn't have to dream about being someone else.

Osirion

You no longer have to dream because you ARE someone else - specifically, a 12-year old Japanese schoolgirl.

I wish for the Maldives to obtain nuclear capabilities and a seat on the UN Security Council, so as to force prompt and effective action against global warming.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! The Maldives acquire nuclear weapons capability by buying an old Soviet nuke from Tajikistan and a few IRBMs from North Korea. They then become an international pariah, and the UN Security Council votes against anything they propose on principle.

[EDITED to add: This was actually pretty close to the plot of a GURPS: X-Files campaign I played in back in the late '90s.]

I wish I could go to the Maldives for vacation.


Granted, you find yourself on an old Soviet Submarine on it's way to the Maldives. Every Navy in the world has a shoot to kill order for that sub.

I wish I were on a beach in the Cayman Islands.

Sczarni

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! But you're also a whale.

I wish I didn't have to pay as much for a passport.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! You pay $12 million US for a Passport from Nauru.

I wish I had a better job.


Granted! you're now CEO of a huge multinational corporation... say hi to the nice interpol agents investigating you for corruption, embezzlement, fraud, murder... wow! there's, like, a dozen pages of this stuff!

I wish that the next person's wish would be granted completely and honestly, within the intent of the wisher, but that this wish would be corrupted twice as much to compensate.

Qadira

Sweet!

I wish the wish that FuelDrop just wished for would be corrupted.


Hah, I hereby corrupt your wish, and see you one happily ever after.

I wish I knew what I was talking about.


Granted! You now know what you were talking about but lose all capacity to know about anything else worth discussing.

I wish I had a good wish to post.


Granted. You've just come up with a brilliant wish... which slips your mind every time you try to post it (thus permanently granting your wish, as you now will always have a good wish to post. you just can't post it)

I wish truly evil people would attract sniper fire like manure attracts flys.


I corrupt your wish by replacing sniper fire with meteorites.

I wish all the extremist terrorists would make that list.


The amount of meteorites it takes to kill those extremist terrorists knocks Earth out of orbit. Here comes the sun, da-na-na-na-na!

I wish I understood the "new" World of Warcraft.

Sczarni

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! You understand it, in all its mad soul-sickening glory, as the sacrifice to Azathoth it was intended to be. Lose 3d100 Sanity.

I wish I had time to play Call of Cthulhu.


You go insane.

I wish I could get to run "The Sanos Abduction" for my witch.


Granted, you run "The Sanos Abduction" for your peanut butter sandwich. It looks confused.

I wish Marthian would stop playing with his food.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! Now he plays with your food.

I wish I was going out for dinner tonight.


You do, but I'm there with you, running Carrion Hill for your Rare steak (or whatever it is you eat.)

I wish the steak (or whatever) would stop messing around with the fries (or whatever).


The fries start messing around with the steak instead.

I wish I could get my paper work done on time and correctly with favorable results for me.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! Your paperwork is done on thyme with flavorable results. Yum!

I wish I could resist making bad puns.

Shadow Lodge

Granted. But now you can't resist making it with padded buns.

I wish I didn't have to interview someone today.


The position has already been filled, but with no regards to qualifications.

I wish someone would buy my company for 1 Million US Dollars.


Me in some stupor or other obtains $1,000,000 and in same stupor, I buy out your company with said cash. In the same stupor, I turn around and make trillions with your company.
(This morning)
I wish I knew why I woke up with two women on a bed of $100 bills. "I'm not that kind of guy, really! Some sort of sick joke, I swear."

truth:
I really wouldn't. It just sounds like a waste of money to hire women to sleep with. I'd rather buy pizza with it.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, it wasn't enough to by DJ's company, aka companionship for a million and then sell it off for a trillions, the poor slut. When Pizza Hut rejected, your large order you decided to lavish yourself on some McDonald's cashiers.

I wish there was something worth wishing for.


World Peace. You want to go play video games, but: World Peace.
You want to play board games, but: World Peace.
You want to play tabletop rpgs, but: World Peace.

I wish I didn't burn my mouth on my pizza.

Andoran RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! Ever see the apple pie scene from American Pie?

I wish I didn't have to work all weekend... after having just returned home from working 16 hour days since October 1st.

Andoran

Charlie Bell wrote:

Your wish is granted! Ever see the apple pie scene from American Pie?

I wish I didn't have to work all weekend... after having just returned home from working 16 hour days since October 1st.

You get hit by a car.

I wish for more wishes.

Qadira

Your wish is granted... all those extra wishes are sent to me, and I get to wish 3 times this post instead of just once! YAY!

I wish I could create my Custom Cavalier Order with extreme ease.

I wish my cat would stop scratching her face.

I wish I could get 2 active players for my Halo: Combat Evolved PbP campaign.

Andoran RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

[HA! I'd actually rather be hit by a car, as long as it left no permanent damage.]

Your wish is granted! As of this writing, there are 1346 wishes right here in this very thread!

I wish I could quit my job and go through-hike the Appalachian Trail.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! Tirq's two new players kidnap his cat and steal his custom Chevy Cavalier, running over Charlie in their getaway, preventing him from hiking the Appalachin Trail. (But causing no permanent damage).

I wish I would get off these boards and do the yard work i need to get done before the hurricane hits.

Qadira

5 minutes before you have to leave because of the hurricane, you work SO HARD you get a heart attack. Until then... Goof off to your heart's content.

I wish Haladir could sing instead of work all day.


Granted!
Haladir is pronounced insane, and shipped off to a sanatorium. His days are spent singing quietly to himself in a padded room. Luckily, he does not have to work, as those straight-jackets are notoriously difficult to be productive in.

I wish I had a really suave British accent, a really creepy Russian accent, and a whimsical French accent (that I could switch between, not all at the same time)

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