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Corrupt the Wish

Forum Games

1,251 to 1,300 of 3,688 << first < prev | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | next > last >>
Silver Crusade

Granted. You will now sleep for 50 years and a day, having no idea what the weather will be like when you wake up.

I wish I wasn't bored with the new WoW expansion 2 weeks after it was released.


Granted! Instead it's the best WoW expansion ever. Amazing, in fact. So enthralling and magnificent. Then you look up from your monitor, and realize that you've been playing non-stop for 50 years and a day.

I wish people would stop claiming that people in the Middle Ages thought the world was flat.

Granted, a cult group of history professors published a paper that proves the people int he Middle Ages thought the world was a cube. Everyone accepts this as the truth because it was posted on the internet.

I wish spammers would just stop.

Lantern Lodge

Granted! The spammers stop spamming, so the the trolls can start trolling.

I wish to pass my fitness test.

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! You pass right by the room where the fitness test was supposed to take place, get lost, and wander around the building for an hour. The soonest they can reschedule in in three months.

I wish the presentation I gave at work this morning had gone better.

Son, you did not specify HOW MUCH better you want it to go, have you not been reading these posts? 1% duh.

I wish I wasn't such a jackass.

you become a donkey.

I wish that I could teleport at will.

Prince William is Ticked Off that you keep teleporting on top of him.

I wish I could Teleport without Error, whenever and wherever I choose.


Granted! At first, there doesn't seem to be any drawback. But then, when you look in the mirror, you realize that you're played by Hayden Christensen.

I wish my brother's wedding would go perfectly, despite his total lack of planning.

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Legends Subscriber; Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

Your brother has a perfect wedding. The wedding night, however, is a complete disaster.

I wish I was stronger.

Lantern Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16

Granted! You are now a dung beetle, the strongest creature proportionally than any other.

I wish I had a kitten to pet at work.

Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Your brain and spirit is stronger, at the expense of your body which is now weaker than a baby.

I wish for world peace.

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Azure and Chocobo, your wishes are simultaneously granted!

Everyone in the world now has a kitten at their workplace, and are far too distracted watching adorable kitty antics to fight... or do anything productive at all! The world economy screeches to a halt as everyone stops what they're doing to play with the adorable little kittens.

I wish my pet kitten would stop jumping on the kitchen counters.

Lantern Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16

Granted! He now climbs up the curtains to reach the kitchen counters.

I wish the upcoming VP debate would involve a boxing match and water balloons.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, but it still ends in a split decision with all the pundits arguing about who really won.

I wish we lived in a world where there were no pundits.

Granted! People start making up their own minds and society collapses. Who knew?

I wish I could get people together for a Pathfinder game tonight.

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! Now there's only politicians.

I wish I could buy an awesome house on sale in my neighborhood.

edit - damnit, ninja'd. I wish I never got ninja'd.

Granted! The person who just bought an awesome house on sale in your neighborhood is found murdered mysteriously, allowing you to buy it. When the crime scene investigators track you down (since you were obviously interested in that house), they find mysterious ninja gear in your mysterious gym bag. You are mysteriously arrested, but you can't prove your innocence when you mysteriously claim "the ninjas did it". You later find out while serving your mysterious 15 year prison sentence, that it wasn't the ninjas, but the mysterious housing committee.

I wish cannon fodder wasn't so mysterious.

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber


cannon fodder noun. 1: Soldiers, especially infantrymen, who run the greatest risk of being killed or wounded in warfare 2: [figuratively] Something put at risk to further a goal without regard to its well-being.

I wish I could take a nap right now.

Granted! You fall asleep at the computer, accidentally pulling up '2 girls and a cup' and your co-workers label you a 'sicko'.

I wish the world was a safer place.

All the cars in the world are suddenly made out of Nerf.

I wish I owned Castle Nerf.

Done! You now own Castle Nerf! And as soon as you find it, you can move right in.

I wish that I could control people's minds.

The Exchange

Granted! You may control People Magazine's Hive Mind! They eventually overthrough your tyranic and unfabulous ways.

I wish I could get into an Evil mindset for my Evil campaign.

Granted! You watch Justin Bieber videos until you feel like killing everyone.

I wish that I could get over my Gangnam Style addiction.

The Exchange

Why would you want to wish for that? Rejected. Move along. Nothing to see here, folks.

I wish I could buy those fancy bases for my miniatures.

After cleaning out your bank accounts you can buy 13 of them.

I wish I could cast Heal.

Granted! You go to Home Depot and get the materials for a plaster cast of the word "Heal" that you drew in the dirt with a stick in your backyard.

I wish my work was more fulfilling.


Granted! "Professional competitive eater" is added to your existing job description. Now, in addition to whatever you currently have to do, you also have to eat dozens of hot dogs a day to train.

I wish my wife had exactly the same work schedule that I have.

The Exchange

Granted! You're new work schedule looks something along the lines of "All the time!"

I wish I wasn't sick.

Realizing you feel much better, you jump for joy, slip and break your leg.

I wish My secretary wasn't sick, (now I wonder if she knows Tirq?)

Granted! Your secretary is found to be immune to all diseases and the CDC recruits her to help create better longer lasting vaccines, so she quits without notice due to the importance.

I wish my kids will have amazing wonderful lives.

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

(Evil post ahead, no hard feelings)
Granted! They have amazingly wonderful short lives, leaving you and your partner alone in a cold dark world where everything collapses around you.

I wish my bills were less than my paycheck.

Scarab Sages

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Legends Subscriber; Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

Granted. You are now living on the street.

I wish I could sleep better at night.

Lantern Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16

Granted! You're now comatose.

I wish I could find Captain Scarlett's pirate booty.

Granted. you find the pirate booty... post mortem. sorry about that.

I wish I knew.


Granted. Now you wish you didn't know.

I wish I could have been more creative with that one.

The Exchange

Oh, you were alright... and someone wished you were bad at it. Crazy, ain't it?

I wish PFO doesn't fall into the "+2 Full Plate? That sucks!" at 4th level mentality like DDO.

Granted, anything under +3 mithril full plate is now considered worthless at 4th level.

I wish for brain bleach to undo my last wish.

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Granted! While going in for a routine treatment, your doctor inexplicably injects household bleach into you brain. You are rushed into emergency neurosurgery to undo the damage, and while they are able to keep you alive, you're left in a permanent vegetative state.

I wish I didn't have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

The Exchange

You don't. Instead you'll have to find a way to deal with your Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

I wish I would stop procrastinating and actually get my FAFSA papers done.


Granted! You get them all done in the nick of time -- but they still award you $0 in aid.

I wish the syllabus for the class I'm teaching next week would write itself.

Granted! Your syllabus writes itself... in crayon, with all the spelling, grammar and competence of me in my vegetable state.

I wish were a normal person again... no, scratch that, I wish I were a geek again.

Granted! You are both a scratched out normal and a geek, but there is infighting and you die in a flurry of pocket protectors and Monday Night Football arguments.

I wish the next person would not corrupt my wish for a longer nose.

Granted. I will not corrupt your wish for a longer nose. unfortunately for you, your wish didn't actually include wishing for a longer nose, merely that I would not corrupt said wish.
on the bright side, when you make your next wish for a longer nose I'll not corrupt it.

I wish I wasn't dead. It's not fun anymore.

Granted, you are alive, but you find out that that's not fun anymore either.

I wish I knew what made that strange noise outside tonight. ( I think it was a fisher cat )

Granted: It's a old crazy guy fishing for cats.

I wish that the Australian government and the governments of the United States of America and the UK would clean up their acts, purge the corruption, and start working for the good of the people.

Shadow Lodge

Granted, their acts are totally unrecognizable as being really corrupt. They kill off all the people who just don't get it for their own good since it's better for them if they don't have to live in a corrupt state.

I wish I were as interesting as MythrilDragon.


Granted! Mythrildragon's interestingness is reduced to exactly the level of yours.

I wish that didn't sound quite so mean.

Nah that wasn't mean, I thought it was cute. of course, I'm twisted.

I wish I could untwist.

Granted. You throw out your optic nerve and go blind.

I wish it was November 7th already.

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