Granted he starts kicking you in the shins instead.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I post anywhere.

Granted! You get the equivalent of $1 Monopoly money for everywhere you post. The efreet mentioned you failed to specify real money.

I wish I could travel with The Doctor.

You just did. You still are.

The next poster knows what I mean.

I do know what you mean, but I can't believe you wished that.

I wish this wasn't in the next poster thread.

Wish in one hand and...you get the picture.

The next poster thinks wishes are like ponies.

Wishes are like ponies. All yours are granted. STAMPEDE

I wish the next poster would post a wish, not a next poster.

Granted. A wish, not a next poster.

I wish someone would tell me what to wish for.

Granted! You should wish for Haladir to receive $1 million.

Thanks, Sissyl! I wish I knew what to do with all that money!

Granted. You realize you now need to give it to Sissyl.

I wish I had a million dollars, beyond what Haladir gives me.

Granted! A million dollars in pennies lands on your head.

I wish that all skipped wishes in this thread were granted without being corrupted.

Granted! But adding the additional posts to grant those wishes breaks the forum and crashes Paizo's website system. Jerk.

I wish I had my copy of Borderlands 2 already!

Granted! But you receive the PS3 version, and you have an XBox.

I wish I had a better console than my old GameCube.

Granted, you have the best console ever created shipped back 2,000 years through time. However, they forgot send any games with it.

I wish it was 5:00

It is... in New Hampshire. I feel sorry for you man. Really, I do.

I wish my new mini's paint job turn out ok.

It looks fantastic! best paint job you ever did, to bad the paint won't dry! ( happened to me a couple times )

I wish I had some time to paint some of the mini's I have.

Granted, but you waste all that time making wishes you know will be twisted into meaningless crap.

I wish I would stop coming in here without a wish of my own.

Granted! You're now banned from this thread.

I wish I was in a band.

Your in a rubber band. The logic of how defies me.

Sir Next Poster, I wish to lay hands upon you. - Derpy Paladin

Granted Cure This

I wish I wasn't banned

You are no longer banned from one thing. You are banned... FROM LIFE!!

I wish I could burn that link to a crisp cinder.

Your wish is granted. You incinerate that cute girl who was cosplaying Link from Zelda. We all liked her. Great job. Also the police are looking for you now.

I wish there were a more reliable way to obtain URs in ME3.

Granted, read the directions.

I wish I knew what I was talking about.

Well now you don't.

But I wish to dispel the next poster's wish.

Granted!

...

Erm...

I wish I understood how Spirited Charge works.

HUZZAH!
(Really, it's what it says. It kind of sounds like vital strike for charging.)

I wish it was 10:00PM.

The world colapses into a flat state of being facing away from the sun in such a way that it is in a perpetual state of 10:00.

<I meant if the damage, ie is it 3d8+7 or 3d8+21, was also multiplied. It just says multiplied, and the PRD doesn't have an Errata note next to it.>

I wish for a genetic mutation that allowed pigs to fly.

Your wish is granted! Pigs fly. All wishes are now wings.

<if you normally do 1d8+5, Sprited Charge with a lance is 3d8+15>

I wish I had a b$&$%#+& umbrella.

You wish is granted. They adore you for giving them this gift. They follow you everywhere, defecating behind you. Everyone else hates you.

I wish I hadn't had to do that.

I wish I hadnt been interupted and thus ninja'd.

Your wish is granted. But your umbrella has a hole in it and you are walking behind Tirq and his flying pigs.

Granted, you didn't have to do that. You did it of your own free will.

I wish I could go home now.

Granted, put on these ruby slippers and click your heels together and repeat "There's no place like home."

I wish the lady at work would quit sighing all day.

Granted! Say goodbye to sighing, say hello to whining.

I wish America had never had slavery.

Granted. Sorry, just can't knock this one.

I Wish I could have been more clever without offending everyone.

Granted, everyone has always worked for free because it just seems like the right thing to do and you didn't offend everyone because, I, doing my free share, did it for you.

I wish the lady in the office next to me would stop whining all day now since you know. Work is so awesome we all do it for free now.

Granted! She stops whining because she starves - everyone works for free, but stuff still costs money.

I wish all my laundry was already done.

Granted! Your dry cleaning bill is $317.25

I wish I didn't have to wear a tie at my job.

Granted. Friday is Hawaiian Noose Day.

I wish people would stop calling my phone.

Granted! They all come talk to you in person -- including all the salesmen and spam robots.

I wish my bobble-head doll had a bobblier bobble-head.

Granted, it now goes. "Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle! Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle!"

I wish I had another obsession from the next poster thread.

Me.

I wish Conman wouldn't turn into one of those stalker sorts of people.

Your wish is granted! DJ Bogie stalks you instead.

I wish Forum Games
Would stay in their proper threads
Unlike this haiku

Unlike this haiku
All the Forum Games are one
The next poster knows

I wish that the next poster would be banned for being the last one to count to 1000 and corrupting my music-based word game.

In the distant future, one false post will corrupt Perdidas' music based word game. That person is Tirq, and because of that post, modern life as we know it has ended. As Tirq is the only one alive, he feels the need to spend his last few breathes counting to 1000, before being the last one to ban himself from life...

I wish that turned out funnier.

I thought it was funny

I wish I wasn't dying of the plague.

They make a mecha harem comedy anime out of your situation. It's not as funny as Ranma 1/2, but funnier than Rock Lee no Seishun Full-Power Ninden.

I wish they would bring Bleach back already.

Since poor Conman was ninja'd, you aren't dying from the plague. Your now dying of Mummy Rot. I tried.

They bring Bleach back to your local movie store. HUZZAH! Now you can clean clothes again!

I wish for a world where one can post without being ninja'd.

Granted! Everybody turns Amish, they do away with the internet immediately.

I wish I would stop posting on here and go get something to eat.

Your wish is granted! But the food is nasty.

I wish all the posters in this thread would spontaneously polymorph into various Golarion PC races.

They all become Humans!

I wish I was a Cyborg.

A bunch of criminals come by and shoot all of your limbs off. A corporation takes what's left, adds a bunch a neat robotic parts and turns you into a police officer. For some reason, they decide to ruin your cool factor by taking away your one-liners and strapping a jet pack to you. Your love interest (if you could say that much) is killed off. You are left alone for about 15 years, doing whatever it is retired cyborgs do. They then decide to remake you, but, instead of using cooler robot parts, they turn you into some Batman wannabe in a motorcycle helmet that looks like it is inexplicably missing vital protective areas. You contemplate the fact that you should have been fighting robots from the future that are dead set on exterminating humanity simply because you existed and lament that the rights to that awesome scenario fell through.

I wish they'd stop remaking movies from the 80's.